Jasper County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 December 1901 — A LITTLE NONSENSE. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A LITTLE NONSENSE.

Discovery of a Bride at the Outset of Housekeeping. A bride who began housekeeping in a New Y’ork city apartment a few weeks ago had considerable trouble with roaches. They got into everything. The bride was in distraction. But when her husband got home from his office one night he found the bride beaming with joy“I have fixed it,” she cried, hardly waiting for the man to take off his coat. “I have done just the brightest thing! I have got rid of them, or, at least, some of them.” “Them? Who?” demanded the husband. “Why, the roaches, of course,” replied the bride, leading the way to the kitchen. There in the center of a table was a big heap of dead roaches. They were mixed in with a brown powder. “You got some kind of roach poison, I see,” commented the husband. “It works all right, does it?” “Splendidly. Why, I just put a little heap of itr there and it killed all of those right away. But it took me a long time to catch them.” “Catch them ?” “Of course. You see, you put some of this powder on a table. Then you catch the bugs and put them into it. It kills most of them right away, but some try to run away and then you have to hold them right in it.” “I see,” said the husband, and he walked away without another word. But, then, he had been married only a very few weeks.—New York Sun.

Spiteful Girl.

He—What a splendid complexion Miss Peachbloom has I Does she get it from her father or her mother? She—From her father. He’s in the cosmetic business, you know. In Retreat. Down from the upper air floated the strains of music, yet Neptune was visibly annoyed. “What’s gnawing at thy vitals, sire?” asked the mermaid. “I wish in the name of Orpheus,” said the sea king, “that boating parties could sing something else beside ‘A Life on the Ocean Wave!’ ” And forthwith he crawled into a cave and pulled the cave in after him.—New York Marine Journal. A Question of Need. “What have you done with all the money I gave you for campaign purposes?” asked Senator Sorghum. “I have put it where it was needed,” answered the agent. “That’s what I thought,” was the disconsolate answer. “Before I can rely on getting it all placed I suppose I’ve got to wait until vou get more than you need.”—Washington Star.