Jasper County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 August 1901 — The Comic Side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side of The News

Western cities that are short on train robbers should telegraph Chicago for quotations. That corner in potatoes the Cincinnati man is trying to run should be thoroughly mashed. The mystery as to why Explorer Baldwin sailed north has been explained; he is looking for the pole. Lawton will be something of a city in a few weeks if it continues to grow at the rate of 10,000 a day. It does, not require an expert math * matician to know offhand that the ruia was worth a million dollars. This Oklahoma land rush and the way it has been handled proves that Uncle Sam is a mighty poor business man. The Spaniards have recovered sufficiently from their fright to submit tha opinion that Schley was no coward. The dry spell has done more to aid tho cause of irrigation in the West than any number of speeches in Congress could do. Admiral Schley’s sou has been called down for talking too much. Only friends of Sampson are supposed to do the talking at present. . At last it is explained Why the people have so much money to put in the banks at present. Train porters* tips have bees falling off of late. Chamberlain does not specify whether Kitchener is to hang such Boers as he has'been ordered to execute before or after capturing them. Scoffers cannot understand why Dowie does not pray $2,000,000 into his coffers instead of trying to get it by such worldly means as a mortgage. When it comes right down to the day of trial Sampson may wish himself as far from the court of inquiry as he was from the battle of Santiago. Chicago men have founded a new religion they call man-ology. Perhaps the founders thought the old religion ran toe much to woman-ology and that they were being crowded out. • The philosophy or political economy of business ability, by which the government gives away farms In Oklahoma and bells town lots is too deep for the groping mind of the average citiien. The scheme sheald be accompanied by a chart. f