Jasper County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 July 1901 — RUN a GLANCE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

RUN a GLANCE

A Natural Frida. He—Oh, yesl Ido a little that way Dow and then; I’ve written one or two playa. She—How perfectly delightful! And have you met with much success? “Pretty well, so far. I once got a manuscript of mine back from the manager.”—Life. Reference.

“I a in seeking references for a servant who’says she was with you eighteen years, but you are not as old as that. I Have made a mistake.” “Oh, no, it’s my mother.”—Journal Ainusant. A Vicarious Applicant. “Yes, ma’am,” said the ragged fat man; “I’m lookin’ fur work. You ain’t got no odd jobs o’ scrubbin’ or washin’ ter be did, have yer?” “Why, you surely don’t do scrubbing or work of that sort,” said the housekeeper. “Sure not. I’m lookin’ fur work fur me wife.”—Philadelphia Record. A Slam at the Editor. Subscriber—l find your puzzle department particularly interesting. Magazine Editor—Our puzzle department! Why, what do you mean? We don’t run one. Subscriber—Oh, yes, you do. I mean your poetry.—Somerville Journal. The Carrent Discussion. Dr. Yungun—No, sir; I do not approve of admitting others than the physician to the sick room. If the physician understands his business he can prepare the patient for the hereafter. Dr. Oldun— You mean, if he doesn't understand his business.—Baltimore American. The Savage Bachelor. “It has been my observation,” said the Savage Bachelor, “that a man is due to feel his cheapest a short time after bls wife begins the conversation by calling him ‘dearest.’ ’’—lndianapolis Press. He Had Thought of IL Benedict—Why have you never thought seriously of matrimony? Coelebs—l have thought seriously of It—very seriously. That is why I have never married.—Somerville Journal.

"elMeanink. but— Puffer—For goodness’ sake! What’s happened to my meerschaum pipe? Mrs. Puffer—Why, dear, I noticed it was getting awfully brown and dincolored, so I put a coat of that white enamel paint on It—Philadelphia Press. —• —The Only Rasta. “How many stops has your organ?” asked the curious neighbor. “Three,” sadly answered the father of the musical family; “breakfast, dinner and supper.” The Nerve of Him. She—How dare you kiss me before asking! He—Don’t you like occasionally to be surprised with a good thing?—Life. An Irreparable Blow. “Don’t old sorrows return and steal over you occasionally?” "That’s what; I have the blues every now and then about SSO I lost out of my pocket seventeen years ago.” The Retort Courteous. Jailor (locking the thief in the cell)— There, my good fellow, I am a man of iron, and I guess you won’t break away from me. Thief—Well, I’m a man of steal, and we’ll see about It Her Wholesale Way. “Do yob believe the world's federation of clubs, can be achieved?” “Oh, yes. I know woman; she'll keep on federating until there is nothing else left to federate.” Spoiled the Trick.

Conjurer—Now, ladies and gentlemen. you will see 1 have passed the quarter into this youth’s pocket He will now produce ft. *■ Yokel—r Please, sir, I’ve only got 20 cents left I spent the other nickel on popcorn.—Fun. No Telephone Necessary. “Why don’t you have your house and your office connected by telephone? Then your wife could call you up when she liked.” “Oh, she wouldn't care anything about that. She'd rather wait till 1 got home and call me down.”—Philadelphia Bulletin.