Jasper County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 June 1901 — Page 3

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A Brave Hen.

Au Oregon woman is the owner of a hen that she would not trade for an entire flock of poultry. A Philadelphia daily declares this hen to be the only one in the United States that ever fought and killed a hawk. The hen was tending her brood in the usual way, when a chicken-hawk made its descent The hen did not squawk and run, but with a fierce and welldirected blow buried her bill under the hawk’s left wing. It may have been a chance blow, but It did Its work. The hawk seemed surprised and dazed. It rose feebly, flew aimlessly against a clothesline and dropped dead.

The Best Way

To the Pan-American is by the Michigan Central, for it is not only “The Niagara Falls Route,” but its train service Is superb. The Pan-American Special is a swell train. It has the finest equipment the Pullman and Michigan Central shops can turn out It leaves Chicago 6 p. m., serves dinner in one of its famous dining cars, stops at Falla View next morning, and reaches Buffalo 7:45 a. m. You can't do better. Send for folder to L. D. Huesner, General Western Passenger Agent 119 Adams street Chicago.

A Low Death Rate.

“You may talk as you pleaae,” said the public-spirited suburbanite, “but our town ia all right. Why, look at our remarkably tew death rate. That’s an argument.” “Yes, that'a an argument,” interrupted the caustic city man. “It shows hoyv very few people would care to be fdtml dead there'.”—-Philadelphia Press. Piao’a Cure is the best medicine we over- used for all affections of the throat and lung*.—Wm. O. Endsley, Vanburen, Ind.. Feb. 10, 1900. If silence is golden, it is strange that money talks.

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Why Augustas Didn’t.

Pretty Angelina Swizzleblosso m had fallen from her wheel and sprained her wriat and Augustus BloomengAten, her manly escort, was kneeling by her side endeavoring to bind a handkerchief about the disabled member. "Rubber neck! Rubber neck!” yelled a near-by newsboy at a passing wheelman, who turned to look back at the pathetic scene. “But her neck Isn't hurt, don’t you know," replied the astonished Augustus, and the newsboy went and pounded his head against a lamp post.—Los Angeles Herald.

If Coffee Poisons You.

ruins your digestion, makes you nervous and sallow complexloaed, keeps you awake nights and acts against your system generally, try Grain-O, the new food drink. It is made of pure selected grain and is healthful, nourishing and appetising. It has none of the bad effects of eoffee, yet it is just as pleasant to the taste, and when properly prepared ean’t be told from the finest coffees. Costs about %as much. Ft is a healthful table drink for the children and adults. Ask your grocer for Graln-O. 15 and 25c.

Hoodooed.

Mra. Crawford (after their first quarrel) —It was all your fault. Mamina always said I was the one girt in a million. Crawford—A fellow can't play against such luck as that. Look what a chance I had to be happy for life, and to think that an odd million-to-one shot had to come alonj and beat me oat.—Judge.

Conversation in the Jungle.

Paul du Challlu has lined long enough in the jungles to have the most wholesome respect for the intelligence of animals, and when asked if he believed that animals talk to one another, he replied in the affirmative. “Does a mankey, for Instance,” inquired one of his hearers, “have a certain word or expression for ‘water?’ ” “Perhaps not for watey,” said Mr. Du Challlu, "for monkeys in their natural state very seldom orlnk water. They eat berries and fruits which contain water; but there is no doubt that animals talk in certain ways among themselves.” .This statement be prepared to demonstarate. "I have heard one gorilla call Another which .was seven or eight miles away, when the first had found some berries in profusion, and 1 have seen monkeys deliberate among themselves a long time before making an Important move. “That reminds me that animals have to work hard to get a living, even Id forests where there is an abundance of vegetation. Some animals travel miles every day to get food, and then have all sorts of trouble in picking out a safe spot In which to rest for the night That is where the elephants have hard wtrrk —in selecting a spot to rest. They seem to have the same hatred for snakes which human beings and most animals have. They will carefully trampje over a large section to drive away or kill any snakes or small animals that may be around/’, 4 1 i l

Disheartening.

Even the clergyman, noble and Inspiring as his vocation is, has now and then his bad moments. “O, sir,” said a poor woman to a Scotch minister, who was by no means a popular preacher, “well do I like the day when you give us the sermon." “Indeed,’’ said the minister, flushing with pleasure, “I wish there were more like you, my good woman; 1t is seldom I hear such words from any one.’ ’ “Maybe their hearing’s stronger than mine, sir,” said the woman, promptly, “but when you preach I can always get ▲ gocSkaeat.” ▲bout sixty varieties of green tea are known to the China trade, ths leading varieties being Twang, Kay, Hyson skin, ▲yong Hyson, Imperial and Gunpowder.

A Target for Lead,

Tlip British officer, says Julian Ralph in “An American with Lord Roberts,” is likely to be a high and mighty person, when you meet him first, but he softens in time into an exceedingly good fellow. Yet at any moment he may be expected to perform a picturesque action In a truly British manner. At the battle of Dreefontein several officers were under a shower of bullets that camo like water shot out of a nee-dle-bath. They were all pressing their bodies down, as if they would like to press them Into the earth. Suddenly one very tall fellow Jbegan to rise. First he got on his knees, then he straightened up on his feet to his full stature, and stood in that spray of lead, the only target on the field. He fumbled for his eye-glass, found it, contorted his cheek as a man does to fit such an ornament Into his face, and then drawled out: “Aw, I say, I wondah where these bullet? are coming from!” He continued to stand and stare at the kopje where the Boers lay, and presently he drawled again, while the air yvas tattered with shot and buzzing with noise: “Aw, I say, can any of you fellahs see where they come from?” The other “fellahs” squirmed and wriggled as if they tvere going to get up and hdlp him look, but not one raised -his head or his body an inch. “Get down, Reggie, you silly fool!” said one. “You’re doing what the Boers want, and that isn’t playing the game.” At that Reggie adjusted his glass anew, and after one long, hard stare at the Invisible enemy, slowly returned, to embrace his mother earth.

When Mayor Meets Mayor.

Civic charcters of local fame Imbued with a sense of their own importance are not wholly unknown in this country, a fact which may account for the familiar ring of the following, story, found in “Highways and Byways in Hast Anglia:” Mayor Wakefield, one day set out for the next town with a load of hay. On the way a truss fell from the load, and he applied to a passer-by for assistance in replacing it. The man addressed, 'instead of rendering willing aid, drew himself up to rather more than his normal height, and said: “Are you aware that you are addressing the Mayor of Lynn?’ “Man,” replied Wakefield, “that don’t make no odds. I’m the Mayor of Castle Rising. Now will you lend a hand?’ “With pleasure,” replied the kfayor of Lynn.

A Limited Monarchy.

, In a high school examination paper, In reply to the question, “What is a limited monarchy?” was written: “A limited monarchy is a government by a king, who, in case of bankruptcy, would not be responsible for the entire national debt. You have the same thing in private life in limited liability companies.” —Kansas City Star.

De Your Feet Ache and Burn?

Shake late yonr shoes, Alien's FootEase, a powder for the feet It makes ger New Shoes feel Easy. Cures a, Bunions, Swollen, Hot and itlng Feet. At all Druggists and Stores, 25c. Sample eent FREE. Address Allen 8. Olmsted. Leßoy, N. Y.

How She Knew.

Little Sister—l guess you accepted Mr. Sweetly. The Grown-up One—What makes you think so? Little Sister—He don't give mo candy any more.—Chicago Chronicle. CITI Cured. KoSt. er narrMUßM.after rile On* day V UM ot Dr Kline'. Uraal Norro R» In 1860 the cultivation of tea began in Brasil, and a considerable quantity was exported from that country. Mrs. Wln.low*. SooTSiae Bnw tor ChlldrM

Liver Don’t Act? You know very well how you feel when your liver don’t act Bile collects In the blood, bowels become constipated and your whole system is poisoned. A lazy liver is an-invitation for a thousand pains and aches to conje and dwell with you. Your life becomes one long measure of Irritability and despondency and bad feeling CASCARETS act directly, and in a peculiarly happy maaner on the liver and bowels, cleansing purifying, revitalizing every portion of the liver, driving all the bile from the blood, as is soon shown by increased appetite for food, power to digest it and strength to throw off the waste. Beware of Imitations! Jrt *wißUSU*’Waahington'Bu/."~ " ” »tk “> Mavs Mm (raahlog a great goal m*K Slaim far Uem, and aacuraS ssoh rallaf th* ■>» M »*> Sls4 «• reaaauMnd OMoerata wh.aivw Ur «1»g tbsopp--’ -Uy I»pre» B nt.d. ’ JA.BMITI. h*l A ■ tdy MB Susquehanna Ara., Fhllad.lphu, Fa. clat , . "Hs did k auickly tad‘-nutically »»d •**' BEST FOR BOWELS AND LIVER. THIS IS .. . d 10c. [CCCj NEVER SOLD IN BULK. THE TABLET DRUGGISTS

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Told of the Marines.

A marine captain, desiring to reprimand some chronic growlers in his corps, arranged for complaints to be made after morning parade. During parade, having previously noted the grumblers, he ordered them to tighten their helmet chin-straps by four links. Of course they obeyed. When complaint time came the men could not open their mouths! “Faith, the cap’n’s an alsy man intirely,” said one, whose sense of fun was proof against tightened straps, “glvln’ us iv’rythlng we ast for the mornin’!” An orderly officer, on a day when chin-straps were loose, asked the stereotyped question: “Any complaints?” “Yes, sir, the spuds ain’t done,” answered the marine. “What?” said the subaltern. “The spuds, sir,” repeated the man. “What does he mean, sergeant?” asked the puzzled young officer. “Oh, he be Ignorant, sir,” returned the sergeant. “He means taters.”

Ambrose McKay’s Case.

Rockbridge, Mo., June 24.—The neighborhood and particularly the members of Rockbridge Lodge, No. 435, A. F. & A. M„ are feeling very much pleased over the recovery of Mr. Ambrose McKay, a prominent citizen and an honored member of the Masonic Fraternity. Mr. McKay had been suffering for years with Diabetes and Rheumatism, which recently threatened to end his days. His limbs were so filled with pain that he could not sleep. He was very bad. Just then some one suggested a new remedy—Dodd's Kidney rills—which has been much advertised recently as a cure for Bright’s Disease, Diabetes, Dropsy, Rheumatism and Kidney Trouble. . After Mr. McKay bad used a few doses, he commenced to improve. His pain all left him, and he is almost as well as ever. He says Dodd’s Kidney Pills are worth much more than they cost. They are certainly getting a great reputation in Missouri, and many very startling cures are being reported.

Bullet Proof.

Here is an odd paragraph from a Georgia exchange: “While Major Williams was seated in his front room, with both feet in the window, peacefully smoking, some unknown miscreant shot him through the left leg. But Providence, ever watchful of its own, protected him. The bullet passed through his wooden leg, doing no damage whatever. It is the same leg that the rheumatism tackled in vain.” — Atlanta Constitution.

What Do the Children Drink?

Don’t give them tea or coffee. Havo you tried the new food drink called GRAIN-0? It is delicious and nourishing and takes the place of coffee. The more Grain-O you give the children the mare health you distribute through their systems. Grain-0 is made of pure grains, and when properly prepared tastes like the choice grades of eoffee, but costs about % as much. All grocers sell it. 15c ana 25c.

Adversity’s Round-Robin.

“This is a cold world; a man can't set a job unless he has a good suit of elothes." “Well, that’s logic.” “Logic? He cafi’t get a good suit of clothes unless he has a Job.”—Detroit Free Press.

He Couldn’t Read.

Pat—Sure, I’ve lost me dorg an’ O 1 don’t know wot to do. Reporter—Why don’t you advertise for him? Pat—But, faith, an’ th’ dog can’t read it if I do. Hall’s Catarrh Cure. Is a constitutional cure. Price 75 cents.

Not Oysters Alone.

Church—Let’s see; what Is It we have to go without in the months without R? Gotham—Heavy flannels. Younkera Statesman. '

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