Jasper County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 June 1901 — BREVITIES OF FUN. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES OF FUN.

Author —“I am troubled with insomnia. I lie awake at night hour after hour, thinking about my literary work.” Friend—“ How very silly! Why don’t you get up and read some of it ?”—Glasgow Daily Times. “Father, may I give that poor blind beggar a penny?” “Yes, my son; hers is one.” “Father, does it hurt to be blind?” “No, my child. Why do you ask?” “Well, then, perhaps I had better keep the penny.”—Pick-Me-Up. Miss Meeker—“lt’s very flattering, Mr. Cadleigh, to have you ask me for so many dances, but what will your fiancee think?” Mr. Cadleigh—“O, she’ll be crazy; that’s what I am doing it for. We’ve quarreled, you know.” —Philadelphia Press. “What do you saippose that absurdly conceited woman did in church yesterday?” “Well, what?” “She took off her hat.” “Why did she do that?” “She was afraid nobody would pay any attention to the minister if sho kept it on.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. The poet waxed eloquent. “And do you remember the last great sonnet that I submitted? I tell you, there was fire in those lines.” Th« editor looked up. “Really? Well, oome to think of it, I do remember seeing the office boy light his cigarette with them.”—Philadelphia Record. “No,” said the self-contained man, “I very rarely make predictions that are not cheerful.” “But don’t yo* think it is your duty to warn people if you have the power?” “Not often. People won’t pay any attention to warnings, and the only result is that you make them feel badly twice; one* when I make the prediction andegein when it comes true.”— Washington Star.