Jasper County Democrat, Volume 3, Number 36, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 December 1900 — THE BOOKS WE USED TO READ [ARTICLE]

THE BOOKS WE USED TO READ

I do„love readin,' that’s a fact; Dad used ter say it took A pull as strong’s a steer's ter get my nose out of a book; .nights till after 10 ter finish up a tale. And see the hero married and the, villain jugged in jail. But lately, I dunno how 'tis, 1 never seem ter find r —» The sort of yarns I love, because they're all a diff'rent kind; Seems if ttie authors nowadays had sorter gone ter seed. Why don’t they write some stories like the kind we used ter read? Yer 'member them old yarns? Gee Whiz! Sas’l wan’t they someth! 1 ' prime? The hero was a Duke or Lord, yer bet yer, every' time: ” And he was mighty handsome," but most I giuerallv pore. And had a thievin’ uncle who was rich as «11 out door.

He loved a beaucheaus damsel, name er "Lady Eunesteen," Her “raven locks" and "fawn-like" eyes beat all was ever seen; He chased her through five? hundred long, thick pages, one by one. ttat all the time jer felt phim-.sure fee'd bag her when 'was done. Them there was eobbersf few. that lived in caves all Hwed withhold And piled with kags er •di'motis, jiest as full as they ooudd hold. And there was ghosts that lrnßg around some rnoxlered chap’s remai*s And used teasshay round at dank and howl and clack their obrins. Yer .’memhar when yer read them tales, upstairs at night, al«ne. How every sep'rate hair ’d izskink when them<thingß fetoked a groaz.? But ghostsrin these new-fangled books ain’t nawthtn' more -why, pshaw! Yer'd jes'-soon poke'em in the iribs and ask ’em far a chaw, Tne heromowadays-don’t swear by his dead father* bones Ter havesome caitiffs blood. He ain’t no Duke, his name is Jone«. The Ireirtine, she riles a wluw 1 as bold as cwr wnz. And. dost era 1 they both talk jest like reel folks that's ltuan' does. Oh!give me back sane Austtrc ! Hey? Or okl.'SylvanusiCobb! j He wa* itlie boy-«Sylvanus was—yer bet he knew his job! Consarncfhesc modern chaps, J say, and all tlmr tiresome fireed! I’d like do git a novel of the ifcind we used ter jead. —Puck.