Jasper County Democrat, Volume 3, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 December 1900 — Fleeing From the Wrath To Come. [ARTICLE]

Fleeing From the Wrath To Come.

The Apologist editor has evidently reached that point in life where “what must he do to be saved” is worrying him cbnsiderably. Some seventeen years ago, at which time the Apologist editor considered himself quite a ladies man—which opinion existed only in his own fevered imaginationin company w ith one W. W. Watson, who is now holding down a government job at Washington, D. C., he went up to the “mourner’s bench” during a revival at the M. E. church in this city and signified his intention of casting his “Tom Payne” into the fire and leading a more Christian life. Some people were so uncharitable as to suggest that he hoped by this move to cause a prominent young Methodist lady - now happily married to a well known and consistent Methodist —to look upon his suit with more favor. But, be this as it may, he was never taken into full membership, and soon dropped back into his old ways. Since that time we believe he has never entered a bouse of worship until one Sunday morn last summer, when he attended the M. E. church again. But, behold! a huge black cloud gathered in the heavens over the sanctuary, the lightnings flashed and thunders rolled, while the windows of heaven were opened in a deluge the like of which had not been seen for a long, long time. That the old gospel ship had a Jonah onboard was self-evident, and the wrath of an outraged deity was made apparant to even the understanding jof the Apologist man. Meanwhile | the congregation sat in fear and trembling at the Master’s anger, manifested in the elements. This settled his church going, and he has never been known to enter the sanctity of a place of worship since. The qualms of conscience, however, which generally comes with silver hair, still pricked him occasionally and reminded him that the days were fleeing. But the memory of that ! Sabbath morn remains with him | and sends4he cold chills down his spinal column at the thought of 1 again tempting fate by seeking to be saved after the orthodox fashion. Now he professes to be very anxious that “the Van Rensselaer street editors” seek salvation, in | the hope, no doubt, that he may borrow a season ticket and sneak through the pearly gates on another's pass. We hardly think that either of “the Van Rensselaer street editors” would care to act ns sponsor for him to St. Peter, as they do not care to take the chances on having one of their passes taken up and canceled, which is always the case when discovered in the hands of the wrong editor.