Jasper County Democrat, Volume 3, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 May 1900 — BREVITIES OF FUN. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES OF FUN.

New Client—-“ Are you the head of the firm?” Spoffins, Jr.—“No, I’m only the heir of the head.”—Ldrks. “So the elopment on the automobile was hipped in the bud?” “Yes; the old man hid the gasoline can.”— Syracuse Herald. He kissed her suddenly. “Well, I like that!” die cried. JlSo do I,” he answered, calmly, and she let it go at that.—Philadelphia Bulletin. —“What colors would you suggest as appropriate for our new bicycle club?” She—“Oh, black and blue, by all means!”—Unsere Gesellschaft. “Do you believe in the survival of the fittest?” “Of course I do.” “For what reason ?” “Because I’ve got to. I don’t know enough about it to put up an argument to the contrary.”— Washington Star. » Big Girl—“My little sister’s got a new doll that squeaks when you press it.” Little Girl (nose put out of joint by the baby)—“My muvyer’s got a new doll that squeaks whether you press it or not!”—Sketch. “There is something paradoxical about the dentists,” remarked Mr._ Snaggs to his wife. “What is it?” “The more prosperous they are the more they look down in the mouth.” —Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.