Jasper County Democrat, Volume 2, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 January 1900 — The Comic Side OF The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side OF The News

London is on the Thames and the qui vive.

Portugal lias not yet said what she is going to do! It is agreed that the bubonic plague shall not be annexed. When it eomes to holding a job a gentleman named Diaz of Mexico can give most anybody pointers. Boston has a "Jack the Slasher” with a penchant for destroying fur goods. His career should be cut short.

Nequeshong, the son of Sahgonahkato, is dead. He was not so much a man of letters as his father, but may he rest well.

Cecil Rhodes is said to be applying the Boer prisoners with new clothing. Cecil is bound to have a following if it costs a mint.

French dragoons have been routed by strikers and driven out of St. Etienne. “Fin de sieele” evidently means the same as it did in 1799.

The Washington Post says Consul Hay is journeying to South Africa with a live lord. It was hardly to be expected that he would accompany a dead one. A curious man bent over the swiftly flowing Chicago river so fondly that he fell in. Free baths should be strictly prohibited in the river, admitting that the temptation is now very strong. Mr. McCoy says he put the Hon. Peter Maher beyond the pale of glory by a corkscrew punch. It’s the old story—“a twist of the Wrist’.’’ The agricultural department is deeply interested in the raising of cranberries. Thanksgiving dinners are bound to have far-reaching .effects. A gentleman named John Wanamaker is suspected of preparation for a'long, deep, unconventional laugh, in which the Hon. Matthew S. Quay is not expected to join. For the burial of the century question ’let all men be truly thankful.