Jasper County Democrat, Volume 2, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 November 1899 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

If this thing keeps up, Chicago will soon become the bigamy center of the universe. Important capture in the Philippines—The lingerie department of the Aguinahlo outfit. The phrase “the men behind the guiis'’ has given way to “the men behind the mules.” Well, they take some chances too! After all the talk about “cornering” and “hemming-in” Aguinaldo. it turns out that General Otis had simply surrounded another vacuum. Now that Hon. Bill Bynum of Indiana hns succeeded in landing an office, our national honor appears to be safe for a few years at any rate.

If we correctly read the reports from Manila, General Otis’ hem-ming-in process for Aguinaldo seems to have dropped some stitches. It is reported that Governor Roosevelt is taking boxing lessons. What, a talking acquisition pugilism would have if he should turn professional. Adjutant General Corbin announces that the war will be over by January. This announcement has been made so often that it bears all the marks of a serial story in a monthly magazine. It now appears that General Otis’s latest exploit in the Philippines was not the hemming in of Aguinaldo, but the hemming in of Mine. Aguinaldo’s gowns—an einbarnssing error, but an exceedingly natural one. It has been recently suggested that trusts be subsidized by the nation, with the bounty distributed according to the size of the corporations. And yet this is called a government of the people, by the people and for the people.

Those energetic correspondents, who are nominating Mr. Bryan to till Senator Hayward’s seat are premature and inconsiderate, since Mr. Br van has higher honor awaiting him than a senatorial toga, and Senator Hayward may disappoint the prophets by getting well. Secretary Gage having once more relieved tin* money stringency by a call for bonds and incidentally added a few millions to the stock gamblers in Wall street, | the business of the Treasury department may now proceed until 1 the next little speculating flurry. I Nebraska may be appropriately termed the banner Democratic state this year. Evidently Mr. Bryan’s home people like him, a liking which Mr. Hamm's neighbors fail to possess for that trustdefending Senator, if the returns from Cuyahoga county are a true criteron. Congress, when placed upon its own responsibility at the opening of the session next month, will doubtless havs uLLihe timidity of a school girl at her first ball, but the absence of Czar Reed will not be felt long, since the country will he safe so long as the great arid only Grosvenor is to remain. \ Chairman James K. Jones of 'the 'Democratic National Committed predicts a Democratic victory in thV natibn liyxt year. Those Republicans, who have already inaugurated MpKinley for a second term, are a&out as enterprising and ingenius as the boy who extracted moonbeams from cucumbers. Mr. Hanna, it is declared, will retire from the chairmanship of the Republican national committee at the meeting in Washington next Monday. Apparently that little mfnprity for the republican nominee in the total vote in Ohio, is having its effect. Even McKinley sees that Hanna must be unloaded. .• > '■('■■■ ■