Jasper County Democrat, Volume 2, Number 29, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 October 1899 — Page 7

PmS! Dizzy? Then year liver isn’t acting well. You suffer from bilious* ness, constipation. Ayer’s Pills act directly on tne liver. For 60 years the Standard Family Pill. Small doses cure. 25c. All druggists. Want jour tnousUeha or bwtrd a baatiUtulf Irowa or rich black ? Then tue 1 BUCKINGHAM’S DYE &UI&, I flt nja mrj*vMf/'j/n Acts*gentlv on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels HANSES THE SYSTEM ci EFFECTUALLY v&vgg&g OVERCOMES J/zf& I*rX: . sTI , * I UAL PERMANENTLY "*“«&££ tff** nvr tms oENoiNt - mshto t>y (AURWSIA pG SYRVP<S roaaaußr*ueauac«r&eau tot iwtorru.

ffSB $$ SLICKER WILL KEEP YOU DRY. « Don't be fooled with * mackintosh teSSgF or rubber coat. If you want a coat aßjWf that will keep you dry in the hard- •‘’ffiHffi* est storm buy the Fish Brand Slicker. If not for sale in your town, write for catalogue to A. J. TOWER. Boston. Mass. * W. L. DOUGLAS $3&>3.5Q BHOE6 g.y°? . . Worth |4 to $S compared with / other makes. M ■ Indorsed by orer ■ 1,000.000 wearers. ■H* ALL LEATHERS. ALL STYLES n V M TUI SkJUJI hare W. L. BoagW ■XA _y ease ead price eliwped ea teUaa. i Take no eabetltnte claimed - * to be ae pood. Largest makers of *1 and 53.50 ahoee In the jgttcv jdlflPW world. Your dealer should keep them—ls not, we will send you a pair on receipt of pries. Stats kind of leather, else and width, plain or cep too. Catalogue D Free. W. L. DOU6LAS SHOE CO.. Brockton. Maas. BgCtrrcsa Cough or Cold at once. wB Conquers Croup without tall. M la the.beat for Bronchitis, Grippe, kirn Hoarseness, Whooping-Cough, ana k-1 L-4 for the cure of Consumption. RJ I7JI Mothers praise it. Doctors prescribe it. fj| pM Small doses; quick, sure results. JtfM

Ely’s Cream Balm /Sgßjs, QUICKLY CURES I COLDi»HEADOf DnaliU, 50 Cta.. CARTERS iMK a Makes millions think. PEHSIOHS^r Writs flail. ffIUMIL fssajssAtsatWssMxtss. t.C. ‘ 'c. N. U. '' No. 43 —Utt o/ben warn no to aoveitisers please say ™ yes saw the sSrsrriiiaisi la this mint. — ... i . .....

“Thoughtless Folks Have the Hardest Work, but Quick Witted People Use SAPOLIO

Speech.

The ancient pagans had a beautiful legend touching the origin of speech. In that connection these ancients .harkened forward a few centuries and conceived that the gods made man from a monkey. But after the gods had thus constructed a being conscious of himself, they pitied him and bad their misgivings. “Accordingly,” the gods are represented to have exclaimed, “we shall endow man with the power of speech, in order that he may make a monkey of himself again, if he choose.” ‘ In former times, it is related, many men took advantage of this generous option.—Detroit Journal.

5,000 Gaiters at $2.65.

For those who are accustomed to sending away from home for their goods it is of the greatest importance to know the character and reliability of the establishment aeliiag goods to families from catalogues. The great emporium of the John M. Smyth Co., located at 150 to 166 West Madison street, Chicago, has been established for a third of a century, and has furnished over half a million homes in Chicago and vicinity alone. This firm enjoys the confidence of the public by its many years of fair dealing. It issues an immense illustrated catalogue that should be in every family, as it describes and gives the price of every article required for household use. A sample of the extraordinary valpes offered by this firm ia shown in the illustration of the guitar at |2.65 in'another column of this paper. These instruments are indeed wonderful values, and yet they are but a sample of the thousand and one useful articles illustrated and described in the beautiful catalogue of the John M. Smyth Company.

A Sense of lnsecurity.

“I'm keepin’ a sharp lookout fur work,” said Meandering Mike. Plodding Pete gazed at him In mute dismay as he added: “I means it. You’ve gotter keep a lookouCfur work dese busy days. If you ain’t careful a situation’ll sneak up behind yer an’ grab yer an’ hove yer under obligations to de pay rt)U before yer knows what’s happenin’.”—Washington Star. Baltimore, October 12.—Should the present rate of increase in the net earnings of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad continue, almost the entire interest charges and the rentals for the fiscal year tiidiug June 30, 1900, will have been earned by December 31, 1899. This was foreshadowed to-day when the net earnings fbr September were made public. The estimated gross receipts were $2,804.293, fbe largest for one month in the history of the company, and an increase of $216,597 over September, 1888. The net earnings for September. 1899. were also a record breaker, being $1,030,493, an increase of $271,804 over September, 1898. The net earnings for the first three months of this fiscal year, July, August and September, aggregate $3,042,759, an increase of $1,174,668, over the sams months in 1808.

Artist Forgot That.

“This is a snap shot of an express train going at the rate of sixty-five miles an hour." “It’s retmarkably lifelike. But why does the smoke rise straight up from the engine, instead of extending back over the train in a long line? “Well—er—the picture was takes so quick it hadn’t time to do that, you know.’’—Chicago Tribune.

What Do the Children Drink?

Don’t give them tea or coffee. Have you tried the new food drink called WRAIX-O? It is delicious and nourishing. and takes the place of coffee. The more Grain-O you give the children the more health you distribute through their systems. Grain-O is made of pure grains, and when properly prepared tastes like the ehoice grades of coffee, but costs about Yi, as much. All grocers sell it. 15c and 25c.

Friendly Criticism.

Penibs—l’ve got a new idea for a book. Inks—What is it? Penibs—l’m going to write the “Autobiography of a Mule.” Inks—Pshaw! there’s nothing original about that. Hundreds of men have written their autobiographies.—Chicago New 8. ,

Grasping the Idea.

Swimming Instructor Remember, you must kick with your feet and strike out with your hands. Fair Learner—Strike out? Why, it’s Just like baseball, Isn’t it?—Chicago Tribune.

To Cure a Cold in One Day

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund the money if it fails to cure. 26c. E. W. Uruve’s signature is on each box.

Rural [?]or.

“Gitttn’ any bites?” asked Farmer Geehaw of the lone fisherman. “Gosh, yes,” was the reply. “The ’skeeters are thlcker’n hops."

"It is an IU Wind That Rows Nobody Good. ’ ’ That small ache or pain or weakness is the "‘SI wind" that directs your attention to the necessity of purifying your blood by taking Hood's Sgrsapar&a. Then your whole body receives good, for the purified blood goes tingling to every organ, Sis the rimedy for all ages and both sexes. Tfocdb SHORTHAND Taught by Hail Full enune nf 1 attraction tn Shorthand by mall, fitting implli to nu paying positions. Andrea The Jackson Oornspondsncs School es t-horihand, Jackaan. Mich.

A MAGNIFICENT WOMAN

Holds Up Peru ns as the Ideal Remedy for Female Catarrh.

MRS. CLARA MAKEMER.

Mrs. Clara Makemer, housekeeper for the Florence Crittenden Anchorage Mission of Chicago, writes the following letter from 302 Chestnut street, Chicago: “Peruna ia the best tonic I have ever known for general debility, a sure cure for liver complaint, and a never failing adjuster in cases of dyspepsia. “I have used it m cases of female Irregularities and weak nerves common to the sex, and have found it most satisfactory.” From early girlhood to the end of the Child-bearing period few women are entirely free from some degree of catarrh of the pelvic organs. With Peruna the thousand sad one ailments dependent upon catarrh of the pelvic organs can be wholly averted. “Health and Beauty” sent free to women only, by The Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, Ohio.

The microbes that cause chills and fever and malaria eater the system through mucous membranes made porous by catarrh. Pe-ru-aa heals the mucous membranes and prevents the eatrance of malarial terms, thus preventing and caring these affections.

Chesterfield's Wit.

Lord Chesterfield was never at a loss for a polite retort. Once he proposed a person as proper to fill a place of great trust, but which the king himself was determined should be filled by another. The council, however, resolved not to indulge the king, for fear of a dangerous precedent, and it was Lord Chesterfield’s business to present the grant of office for the King’s ture. Not to incense his majesty by asking him abruptly, he, with accents of great humility, begged to know with whose name his majesty would be pleased to have the blanks filled up’. “With the devil’s!” replied the king, in a paroxysm of rage. “And shall the instrument,” said the earl, coolly, “run as usual, ‘Our trusty and well-beloved cousin and counselor?’ ”—a repartee at which the king laughed, and with great good humor signed the grant—New York Success. SWANSON’S “5 DROPS” is the son of the sick room. It has saved the public, in less than five years, more money than the national debt of this country, when you measure the vaine of health restored, suffering humanity relieved of its agonies and diseases. Money which otherwise would have been expended in funeraia, doctors and drug bills, loss of labor, etc. SWANSON’S “5 DROPS” never fails to cure. It has cured and is curing millions of people afflicted with ACUTE and CHRONIC RHEUMATISM, SCIATICA, NEURALGIA, ASTHMA, LA GRIPPE and CATARRH of all kinds. “5 DROPS” has never failed to cure these diseases, when used as directed. It will cure you. Try it. Price of large sized bottle 91.00, sent on receipt of price, charges prepaid; 25-cent sample bottle sent free, on receipt of 10 cents to pay for mailing. Agents wanted. SWANSON’S RHEUMATIC CURE COMPANY, No. 164 Lake street, Chicago, 11L

German Twins.

A German coachman who recently became the father of twin boys has received the consent of the Emperor that they be respectively named William I. and William 11. The Emperor will stand godfather for them, and has presented the parents with a sum of money.

Try Gratn-O! Try Grain-O! Ask your Grocer to-day to show you a package of GRAIN-O, the new food drink that takes the place of coffee. The children may drink it without injury as well as the adult*. All who try it like it. GUAIN-0 has that rich seal brown of Mocha or Java, but it Is made from pure grains, and the most delicate stomach receives it without distress. % the price of coffee. 15c and 25c per package. Sold by all grocers.

Information Wanted.

“Miss Upper ten—Clara,” began the young man, “you have no doubt noticed that my attentions of late have been more than that of a mere friend. I love you, Clara, and in aaklng you to share my lot I ” ' “Pardon me for interrupting you,” said the practical maiden, “but bas the lot you wish me to share a good house on It with all the modern improvements?"—Chicago News. •

A Thoughtful Hasband.

“You asked me to bring you tome pin money this morning," said the young husband. “Yes,” she replied, with an air of expectancy. “Well," said he, “I thought I might as well save you a trip down town, so I brought you a paper of pins Instead.” —Chicago News.

Saw Them Do It.

“Saw the sea lions feeding and drinking on the way over,” said Liarly. “Where were they drinking T" demanded the positive man. “In the trough of the sea, of course." —PhUßdelphlA North America. Jttfc W>MleW!t w»fT «S» <»»»«• 55mptli. oar— wluflooSo. w iwli

SPECULATE IN HISTORIC SPOTS.

a $ What the Birthplaces of Faanoas Men Are Worth ae a Bneinees. Last year no fewer than 36,000 peo l pie passed the turnstiles which guard the entrance to the little room in which Borns first saw the light In 1896, the centenary year of Bums’ death, the number reached 38,000, and as 2 pence is demanded from each visitor a very simple calculation will show that a large sum of money is annually obtained by this means. The cottage ia a very humble, onestoried little erection, with a thatched roof, and the poet's father, when he first went to live there, would have opened his eyes pretty widely had anyone been able to tell him what a sum was one day to be* received for It. The place was bought from him (after the poet’s death) by a corporation of shoemakers, who afterward sold it to the present trustees for $20,000. Another famous birthplace which attracts a large number of people is that of Thomas Carlyle at Ecclefech&n, which is twenty or thirty miles north of Carlisle. There is no fixed scale of charges for visiting this cottage, but as 1,205 people climbed the stairs last year and each probably left something with the caretaker It will be easily seen that here, too, is & nice little property. There are other places, more or less well known, scattered about in different parts of England and Wales, which the tourist often visits. Shakspeare is still a veritable little gold mine to Stratford-on-Avon. People from all pqrts of the world make pilgrimages to the little Warwickshire town in order to see the famous poet’s birthplace. The charge for admission to the house Is 6 pence, but as an interesting museum is usuaUy visited at the same time, for which an extra 6 pence is demanded. few persons leave the building without leaving 1 shilling behind them. Then there is An* Hathaway’s cottage to be also seen. This is a mile away from Stratford, at the pretty little village of Shottery, and it is where the poet’s wife was wooed and won. The writer, during a recent visit to it, was Informed that on an average 100 people a day all the year round came to see the cottage, and as each visitor pays 6 pence $3,500 or $4,000 a year must be made out of it

Queer Names In North Dakota.

The most suggestive and inviting name I saw was that of a druggist in North Dakota. It was U. R. Welcome, his first name being Uriah. Across the street was another man with a funny name. He bore the euphonious cognomen, John Stonepounder. In the next town I found a man who was so fat that the name of Abraham Crumpacker seemed especially fitting. But there was a woman in the town who went him one better. Her name was Emily Freshbread. In the next town, I got so interested in queer names that I soon heard' of & speedy individual called Sarah Deerhoof. In that same town there is a man named Henry Bookstruck. Ever after that I wa6 on the lookout. On the train I met David Newsalt and Millie Newlove. The man with the most war-like name I ran against was Abraham Saltpeter. In one town I found a man who had a very poetic name. It was Seabright Sunbloom. But the last name 1 struck finished me It seemed like a direct command to cease my sacrilegious monkeying with people’s names. I took it as a warning and quit A. Quickfinish, and what do you suppose his partner’s name was? It was W. K. Goforth.—St Paul Dispatch.

Clews and Criminals.

“I have discovered another clew,” said the detective. "What a good thing it would be,” returned the man who had employed him, "if clews were criminals.” —London Tit-Bits.

CANNON BALL PILLS. Bis Balls of Poison Given as Medicine. Thousands Arc Suffering from Mercurial Pill. Poison Taken fas Youth-Days of , the Pills Are Past. Do yoii want health? Then keep your bowels clean and your liver lively! It has always been known that constipation ia the cause of nearly all disease, but the way of treating It has changed. The old way was to make up a sickening "black draught" or. at.!! worse, an explosive "ahot-guu" cartridge of calomel, aloes, Jilap. gamboge, cro.on oil. blue mass, c ‘lo.ynth—the larger the bullet the better —aud after the patient had swgllowed the dose, thrown the bowels Into spasms and turned the liver'inside out, he was settled for a few days—fequently forever. The most dangerous "medicine” of all was the mercurial plll-polson which lodged 111 the blood and joints, producing life-long aches. Force U folly. If you have any regard for your well being. When It becomes necessary to stir up your liver and have a general Internal cleaning up. taka Cascarets Candy Cathartic, and produce natural action In a nice, gentle, quiet, positive way. Cascarets are up to date, antiseptic, taste fiord, never grip or gripe, mild but effectve. Buy and try Casearets to-day. You’ll find that It’s what they do, not what we say they'll do that proves their merit. All druggists—loc. 25c. . T Oc, or by mall for price. Send for booklet and free sample. Address the Sterling Remedy Co.. Chios go; Montreal, Can., or New York. - This Is the CASCARET tablet Every tablet of the ouly genuine Casearet bears the magic letters 1393 “CCC.” Look at the tablet before XSrW you buy. and beware of frauds, wWy Imitations and substitutes.

|CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FREf |

ONE OP THE GRANDEST OFFERS EVER MADE. __ The first five persons procariag the Kndlese Chain Starch Book from their grocer, will each obtain one large 10c. packages! "RED GROSS" Starch, one Urge 10c. package of “HUBINOEKB BEST” Starch, two Shakespeare panels printedintiraly beaattfnl colors, as natural as Ufa, or ooeTweatteth Century Girl Calendar, the finest of its kind ever printed, all absolutely free, All other* procuring the Endleea Chaia Starch Book will obtain from their grocer two large lOe. packages of starch forte. and the beautiful premiums which are being given away. This offer to only made for a short time to further introduee the famous "XUOO CBOM" Starch, end the BEST" oold water Starch. Askyour grocer fur this starch.

A Cloud Maker.

Among the peculiar attractions at the Paris exposition will be a great machine for making clouds of all varieties at will. The machine will be in shape like two big globes. Spectators will be seated on the elevated platform at the rear. Any kind of clouds desired, from the light and feathery cirrus of the summer to the heavy cumulus of a thunderstorm, may be made. To add realism to the picture, thunder and lightning will be imitated when tlu machine is turning out the proper kind of product. In connection with the cloud machine a stereopticon will be used to throw pictures and advertisements ou the ready-made clouds.

Passing of the Horse.

So soon as nature sees an improvement there is a change. The candle gave way to electricity and the horse to the automobile. The fact that Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters has been sold for over half a century, proves its value. There is nothing to equal it for stomach or liver trouble.

Right and Lie ft Sighted.

The assertion comes from Germany that the majority of people are not only right-handed, but also right-sighted. By this is meant that most persons see better with the right eye than with the left and habitually, though unconsciously, employ it more. Some persons, however, make grater use of the left eye than of the right and according are said to be “left-eyed.”

Halls Catarrh Cure.

Is a constitutional cure. Price 75 cents. Cholly—Love me, love my dog, you know. Mabel—l should be just as likely to love your dog as to love you. We will forfeit SI,OOO if any of our published testimonials are proven to be not genuine. THE PISO CO.. Warren, Pa.

THE ills of women overshadow their whole lives. Some women are constantly getting medical treatment and are never well. *‘ A woman best understands women’s ills," and the women who consult Mrs. Pinkham find

in her counsel practical assistance. Mrs. Pinkham’s address is Lynn. Mass. Mrs. Mabel Good, Correctionville, la., tells how Mrs. Pinkham saved her life. She says: “ I cannot thank you enough for what your medicine has done for me. I can recommend it as one of the best medicines on earth for all women’s

ills. I suffered for two years with female weakness and at last became bedfast. Three of our best doctors did me no good so I concluded to try Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. After taking a few bottles of your medicine, I was able to do all my housemedicine raised me from |M|S ( (■ perhaps death, and am \<r NgSgte very thankful for what it /'SV? v has done for me. I hope 1 that every suffering woman may be persuaded to try your medicine.” kTffi&d Get Mrs. Pinkham’s advice rwir' /wHlall as soon as you be &* n to b® J«|§ig§ puzzled. The sick headaches and dragging sensation come / / 1| from a curable cause. Write ] for help as soon as they ap. Yosx ‘SiJ writes: •• Dear Mrs. y |H \ Pinkham— l was troub’ed / r\ \ II \ \ ran with sick headache and l ' ( 1 \ was so weak and nervous, , 1 friend called upon me one evening and recommended Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound, saying that she knew that it would cure me. I then sent for your medicine and after taking five bottles of it, I was entirely cured. I cannot praise it enough."

JOHSMPIYTHCPI 5,000 GUITARS AT $2.65 A THIS ELEGANT GUITAR > rhis Guitar is made iv\n #1 zc 1 of the finest imita- rUK ttoi mahogany with No more , no les#> of / either SOUd rosewood probably th« largest contract in guitars J or walnut finger- ever made —an Instrument that poei- | UnarA <m>t inbiA tively sells from 13-50 to 37.00. When this / board, pearl inlaid , ot ' a ex h aU3te dwe cannot duplicate \ position dots and this offer. Quantity talks. Only by oper- g German silver raised ating on such a big scale, together with v j* t,,. r._-„ our well-known small profit policy,oould f tretst it has fancy to- Buch offerinif b,, possible. Another < lay around sound reason for dispensing such a bargain J hole and best duality broadcast is the confluence we feel that Y Am»»L-,n nafTni 1 ovory guitar sold will win for ns a per- I American patent manent patron and a friend whose / heads; the top ot recommendation we can count upon. We \ Guitar is beautifully wUi forward the guitar to. any address i ft is strung with a cash in full be sent, as that saves return c full set of best quality cha ws for money and we stand ner- J ,a-.t „ i, fectly ready to refund money if. the y Steel springs ana is guitar is not all and more than we claim / ready to play upon* for it. Remember our An mp I - I.J li which is listed 'if lowest wholesale prices ! aefl 71 y.l , v . IT. fall i! Mil everything to eat wear and use,is furnish ed on receipt of only 109 to partly pay jrH or expressafie and as evidence good faith the 109 is allowed on first

QUALITY AND NEWS. FAME AND EXCELLENCE ARE DCTERMINING FACTORS IN SUCCESSFUL DEVELOPMENT. One of the Important Functions of High Class Newspapers, In presenting interesting phases of ad* entitle and economic problems, high-dass newspapers frequently give information Of as great value in their advertising columns as in those devoted to the publication of the principal events of the day; and when the fame of a product is extended beyond its natural limits into foreign lands, and a large demand created throughout Great Britain and her colonies and the principal seaports and cities of Europe, Asia and'Africa, it becomes a pleasant duty to note the fact and to tell of the points of excellence on which so great a success is based. We refer to the now world-famed laxative remedy. Syrup of Figs, the product of the California Fig Syrup Company. The merits of this well-known excellent laxative were first made known to the world through the medical journals and newspapers of the United States; and is on# of the distinct achievements of the press. It is now well known that Syrup of Flga is an ethical proprietary remedy, approved by the most eminent physicians everywhere, because it is simple and effective, yet pleasant to the taste and acceptable to the system, and not only prompt in its beneficial effects, but also wholly fre# from any unpleasant after-effects. It is frequently referred to as the remedy of the healthy, because it is used by people who enjoy good health and who live well and feel well and are well informed on all subjects generally, including laxatives. In order to get its beneficial effects, it ia necessary to get the genuine Syrup of Figs, which is manufactured by the California Fig Syrup Co. only. God never gives but oiie moment at A time, and does not give a second until he withdraws the first.—Fenelon.

PRACTICAL HELP FOR SUFFERING WOMEN