Jasper County Democrat, Volume 2, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 September 1899 — Ejecting a Patient. [ARTICLE]

Ejecting a Patient.

The following story, told by the poet Tennyson, Is a graphic Illustration of Abernethy’s manners toward a certain class of patients who vexed his professional spirit: A farmer went to* the great doctor, complaining of discomfort in the head, weight and pain. The doctor asked, ‘‘What quantity of ale do yon take?” “Oh, I taaks ma yale pretty well.” Abernethy, with groat patience and gentleness: “Now, then, begin the day, breakfast. What time?” “Oh, at haafe past seven.” “Ale, then? How much?” “I taaks my quart.” “Luncheon?” “At eleven o’clock I gets another snack.” “Ale then?” “Oh, yees, my pint and a haafe.” “Dinner?” " “Haafe past one." “Any ale then?” “Yees, yees, another quart then.” “Tea?” “My tea’s at haafe past five.” “Ale then?” “Noa, noa.” “Supper.” “Nine o’clock.” “Ale then?” “Yees, yees. I taaks my fill then. I goes asleep afterward.” Like a lion aroused, Abernethy was up, opened the street door, shoved the farmer out, and shouted, “Go .home, sir, and let me never see your face again! Go home, drink your ale, and die!” The farmer rushed out aghast, Abernethy pursuing him down the street with shouts of “Go home, sir, and die!”