Jasper County Democrat, Volume 2, Number 21, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 September 1899 — BREVITIES OF FUN. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES OF FUN.

“You will forget me, won’t yon, dear?” she pleaded by way of softens ing the harahneu of her refusal "Sure thing!” said he, "you know I’d do anything to please you.”—Detroit Free Press. Insurance Agent—"So you want slo,oooto cover your stock, eh ? Now, Isaac, did you ever have a fire?” Isaac—“ Veil, mine fwend, you couldn’t call id a fiah; id vas mine first addempt.”—Life. Unreasonable Expectations. “They say ebony’s father is greatly disappointed in him.” “Yes; but he expected too much. He thought Cholly might be able some day to earn his board and clothes.”—Puck. Had References.—“l hear you have married Bobbett’s divorced wife.” “Yes.” “How did you come to do that?” “Bobbett recommended her highly. Said his only trouble was she snored, and you know I’m deaf.”— Brooklyn Life. Teacher—“ Once upon a time there were two rich men, one of whom made his fortune by honest industry, while the other made his by fraud. Now, which of these two men. would you prefer to be?” Tommy (after a moment’s hesitation) —“Which made the most?”—London Tit-Bits.

The Color That Counts. —Once upon' a time a citizen conceived that he was going to be elected to the United States senate. “For,” he argued, “I am a dark horse!” The ’legislature listened courteously. “Let me see the color of your money?” urged the legislator, when the citizen had done speaking.—Detroit Journal. Johnny—“Pa, Mr. Brownlow said, for obvious reasons, he should be unable to be at the schoolhouse to-night. What does he mean by ‘obvious reasons?” Pa—“ Why, my son, when a man has any reasons that he can’t think of or has reasons that he does not care to name, he say* Sis reasons are obvious.”—Boston Transcript.