Jasper County Democrat, Volume 1, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 February 1899 — THE OLD RAZOR. [ARTICLE]

THE OLD RAZOR.

Grows Bwiaiawiwt, aai We fefwtfhe I found it lying, apparently neglected, in the corner of a drawer. “You hardly seem in flourishing circumstances. To what do you attribute your—your rusty condition?” “Mostly to pride.” “Pride? That is a very singulaf statement.” "Well, I considered that my owner did not treat me with proper respect, so the next time we met lent him.” “Dead?” “Not exactly; but he felt decidedly hurt.” “Did he remonstrate?” “It would grieve me to repeat the language he used; but I was a match for him. Latterly 1 have prided myself on my bluntness, and am sure that I made him wince.” “Was it then thatyou gave up shav“Yes, I was forcibly retired, without a pension. Still, lam not so keen on shaving as I was when younger.” “Perhaps you feel that you are now reaping the results of your folly?” “Reaping! Is thy servant a scythe that you should talk of reaping?” And I fancied that the razor ground its edge with indignation. “I apologize—l did not suppose you had anything to do with corncutting. By the way, what have been your most thrilling experiences?” “I have been partially swallowed by a baby. I have also been photographed in my case by the X rays.” “As an ex-razor, I presume; but there is nothing very thrilling about it. Have you not something more exciting to tell me?” “Once a foolish young fellow who had been crossed in love surreptitiously borrowed me. He carefully felt my edge, stropped me to a nicety,and then—” . “Then what?” “Shut me up! And if you will be so exceedingly kind as to take the hint, I shall feel very much obliged.” And the razor shut up.—Fred Edmonds, in London Sketch.