Jasper County Democrat, Volume 1, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 January 1899 — COURT HOUSE PLEASANTRY. [ARTICLE]

COURT HOUSE PLEASANTRY.

While at the court house one day this week, a gentlemen called to see if his bill had been allowed. The statistician (30 years in office) with specks properly adjusted, occupied the seat of honor, and his deputy sat crouched in a corner, languidly pouring over the pages of a large book, and “chawing terbacker,” ready at a second’s notice to answer the beck or call of his chief, and occasionally glaring fiercely at The Democrat man, 1 who was busily engaged examining Abe’s Record of special sessions for January, while the keeper of the county exchequer stood hard by. J “Has my bill”—with special emphasis on “bill”—“been allowed?” queried the gentleman. Ich wes nich. Das mox nix Ous, piped the deputy from his corner, looking hard at the gentleman. (The deputy much prefers to address a customer in his native tongue.) Kennin sie Deutch Sprechen? queried the deputy, The gentlemen only stared. He didn’t care what it was called, he wanted his “bill.” The deputy finally discovered he had made a mistake and that he would have to get down from his dutch horse and talk United States, I and he proceeded to do so. “Oxcuse Me. Oh, lean write you an order any time, and Abe can allow it when he gets in session.” “I thought you were not issuing orders now before they were allowed by Abe,” said the gentleman. The keeper of the county ex- ; i chequer attempted to put in his ! “gab” but the deputy—usually I very deliberate —was too swift for his honor, the keeper of the county exchequer. “Oh yes, we keep right on and ' issue them to anybody and every- | body.” At this stage of the conversation ; the deputie’s “terbacker’’ was get- | j ting a worse chewing than a country boy gives his best girl’s neck on a Sunday night and the statistician (30 years in office) after carefully adjusting his specks,, and filling his noble breast with court house air, piped forth, “Yes . we issue them to anybody and everybody.” The Democrat man smiled. He - didn’t say anything, but the J thought occurred to him that i£ Abe refused to allow the bills a I few leaves could be cut oat and ’ the mistake rectified without marring the pages of the record with nasty, crooked black lines and red ink.