Jasper County Democrat, Volume 1, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 January 1899 — The Comic Side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side of The News

Sooner or later Spain is bound to slip np on that manana appeal. It appears that Sampson and Shatter agree that neither of them had anything to do with it. The entiaer Cincinnati has been floated, which proves that the report of her grounding had sufficient ground. Take the oath, boys, As yon stand np in line: “Th* lips that kissed Hobson’s Shall never kiss mine.*’ With Quay’s trial in mind and the prospect of his escaping conviction, the title of Senator-at-large might be conferred upon him. » Not perhaps that it's much of a reason for onr washing our hands of them, but millions of the Filipinos are said not to know the use of soap.'” If it is true that the Filipinos are preparing to resist Uncle Sam they are destined to experience something new and satiating in the way of surprise parties. Measured by the proportion of congressional salaries, the time already spent In debating the Isthmian canal question would pay for digging a large section of the ditch. Admiral Dewey is hopeful that when he announced that with his monitors he could whip the world, Einperor William had his ear to the telephone. Dewey is something of a monitor himself. The Cubans come up here and get pneumonia and we go down to Cuba and gel yellow fever. The anti-imperialists will tell yon that this proves that both Americans and Cabans ought to stay at homes