Jasper County Democrat, Volume 1, Number 36, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 December 1898 — The Comic Side OF The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side OF The News

But why does New York persist in calling a dry goods exhibition a horse show ? The last thing Hobson has raised is a mortgage on his parental home of $6,000. We still believe that Aguinaldo could run a cigar factory in the United States very acceptably. The only reason why Blanco left Cuba was the impossibility of his carrying it away with him. Trouble is threatened in the upper Swat, and the swatting is expected to begin at almost any moment. A greater United States requires a longer presidential message. The explanation is simple enough. And then it came about that Spain lost everything but honor, and Spain had none of that to lose. How are the mighty fallen! Aguinaldo is now familiarly known among the Manila troops as “Aggie.” To the very last Keely refused to give away his secret, but all those men who invested in It were sold. The battleship Wisconsin, just launched, stuck in the mud. It’s early for it to begin taking mud baths. Aguinaldo says that he will never give up willingly. But that does not imply that he will not give up. The battleship Wisconsin was christened with an original poem. Still, you can’t tell. She may prove to be a very worthy vessel. It is estimated by the United States board of engineers that the Nicaragua canal will cost $133,000,000. Rather high for cut rates. A cablegram from London announces that “Sir George Baden-Powell is lying at the point of death.” That’s a queer time for a man to indulge in prevarication. One of the striking measures inaugurated by Gen. Wood in Santiago is the imposition of a fine of SI,OOO on bull fighters. This makes bull fighting legally a fine thing. Ex-Preaident Cleveland sees no good reason for annexing foreign territory when there are still millions of acres at home on which the game has not been hunted out.