Jasper County Democrat, Volume 1, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 December 1898 — BREVITIES OF FUN. [ARTICLE]

BREVITIES OF FUN.

Jigson—“Your friend Swatkins talks with considerable feeling.” Nigson—“Yes, and he generally touches his man.” Marked Down.—“ Sadie gays she’s 29. I thought she was 33.” “Well, everything in the store Lis been marked down since the Ist of Jan-uary-”—Judge. _ - “Why did Josephine dismiss her suit for damages r” “The man proved that he ran into her bicycle because he was looking at her.” —Chicago Daily Record. How He Knew. —Mrs. Newlywed —“Have patience, Jack! Dinner will soon be ready.” Jack—“l suppose so, my dear. I thought I smelled something burning.”—Answers. “It is estimated,” said the statistical boarder, “that 7,000,000 packs of playing cards are made every year.” “That,” said the Cheerful Idiot, “is a great deal.” —Indianapolis Journal. Snoop—“O, I would like to see myself as others see me, just once.” Snapper—“ Well, I can tell you, once and for all, you would step on yourself and you wouldn’t notice it.”— Boston Courier. “Frisbie is the laziest man I ever knew.” “What makes you think so?” “He actually seems to be glad that he’s getting bald headed, so that he won’t have to comb his hair any moreTit-Bits.

Mistress (greatly distressed as Bridget awkwardly drops the chicken on the floor when about to place it on the table) —“Dear me! Now we’ve lost our dinner!” Bridget—“lndade ya’ve not. Oi have me foot on it!” — Credit Lost. Mia. Fowler—“So you have been to rit up with a sick man, eh? John Fowler, can you look me in the face and say that?” Mr. Fowler—“ Why, of course I can, Nettie. What do you take me for—for just an ordinary, amateur liar?”— Boston Transcript.