Jasper County Democrat, Volume 1, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 November 1898 — JIM WAS ELECTED. [ARTICLE]

JIM WAS ELECTED.

The great election fight is fit, 'an folks that used to sneer At me fur marryin’ my Jim are knocked all out o’ gear! They scarcely know just what to do, or what they'd ort to say To see me top ’em all in sich a 'ristocratic way. They said 'at he was no account, an’ called him "Lazy Jim,” An' tol’ me I would rue the day I coupled onto him, Now each ’un feels her sland'rous words a stickin' in her craw, Fur he's elected constabul to regulate the law. They done their best to throw him down, talked about his shiftless life, An’ even hurled their sneerin’ rocks at me, his honored wife, Tol’ how I went went with Simon Snooks an’ was so sweet on him Afore I shuck the clerky snob an’ sidled up to Jim. They said I couldn't bake a pie a Christian ort to eat. An’ that I alius burnt my bread, an’ had a man's size feet. An’ now I guess their cup o' woe’ll be a brimmin’ full. Fur they won’t dar' to cheep since I am Mrs. Constabul. I heerd they give ol’ Craay Sam a sheep to git his vote, • An’ ol’ maid Mag a pound o’ tea if she would turn her coat, An’ Deacon Hart that sings an' prays an’ leads the Sunday-school, Went back on us to git the mor’gage lifted off his mule. But spite of all their party tricks an’ bold rascality Jim got some thirty-seven votes an’ Billings twenty-three. An' I just had to set an’ cry, my heart a bustin’ full, When he come home an’ tole me I was Mrs. Constabul. I’ll get a dress like Mrs. Pratt, whose husban’ keeps the bank, An* mebbe striped stockin’s, too, in keepin’ with my rank, An’ Jim's a going' to wear white shirts an* collars an’ cravat, An’ says he reckons he must git a more judicial hat. He says he'll show Vox Populist, as placed their trust in him. They didn’t make no fatal break in honorin’ my Jim; We’ll both just do our best to make his big constitu’ncy Feel mighty proud that they reposed their trust in him at? me. Denver Post.