Jasper County Democrat, Volume 1, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 September 1898 — Page 3

Sure CUi*e for Gelds ▼ben the children get their feet vet and take cold give them a hot foot bath, a bowl of hot drink, a dose or Ayer’s Cherry Pectoral, and put them to bed. The chances are they will be all right in the morning. Con* tinue the Cherry Pectoral a few days, until all cough has disappeared. Old coughs are also cured; we mean the coughs of bronchitis, weak throats and irritable lungs. Even the hard coughs of consumption are always made easy and frequently cured by the continued use of Auer's Cherry Pectoral Every doctor knows that wild cherry bark is the best remedy known to medical science for soothing and healing inflamed throats and lungs. Put one of Dr. Ayer’s Cherry Pectoral Plasters over your lunge Thm Boat Mmttlcmi ikMos frae/ Wo now bare some of the moot eminent physician* in tbo United States. ' Unusual opportunities and lon* exportenee eminently fit them for tcirinc you medical adeice. "Write freely all tbo particulars in your case. Address, Dr. J. C. AVER. Lowell, Has*.

THE EXCELLENCE OF SYfiDP OF FISS is due not only to the originality and simplicity of the combination, but also to the care and skill with which it is manufactured by scientific processes known to the California Fig Syrup Co. only, and we wish to impress upon all the importance of purchasing the true and original remedy. As the genuine Syrup of Figs is manufactured by the California Fio Syrup Co. only, a knowledge of that fact will assist one in avoiding the worthless imitations manufactured by other parties. The high standing of the California Fig Syrup Co. with the medical profession, and the satisfaction which the genuine Syrup of Figs has given to millions of families, tnakes the name of the Company a guaranty of the excellence of its remedy. It is far in advance of all other laxatives, as it acts on the kidneys, liver and bowels without irritating or weakening them, and it does not gripe nor nauseate. In order to get its beneficial effects, please remember the name of the Company— CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. SAM FRANCISCO, CaL LOUISVILLE. Er. N'KW YORK. XT. POMMEL SLICKER S Keeps both rider and saddle per- UfeCfr fectly dry In the hardest storms. WRfcgßr Substitutes will disappoint Ask for 1807 Fish Brand Pommel Slicker— It is entirely new. If not for sale In your town, write for catalogue to V What’s the i: Matter with !l KANSAS? < ► o £[ Kansas Owns ound numbers) A 3xu 900.000 horsqa and mules. 660,000 < , **4 I milch cows. 1.W0.000 ot er cattle, , . < > 2,400,000 swine, ani 226,000 sheep. , , ;; Its Farm Products this rear J; 4 > include 160.000,000 bushels of corn, , 4 4 4 60,000,000 bushels of wheat and mil- 4 , 4 4 lions upon millions of dollars in value , , 4 4 ofothergrains.fruits,vegetables,etc. . , 4 4 In debts alone it has a shortage. 4 , 4 > Send for tree copy i;f ‘ What’a the 4 » 4 4 Matter with Kansas?"—a new book 4 4 44 of 96 pages of facts. 4 , J * General Passenger Office, J > 4 4 The AtaUtoa, Tepeka k Santa Fe Railway, 4 4 « ► ' , Chicago. /■ ’ < > pensions

NO GORE SPILLED AFTER ALL.

Bloodthirsty Colored Gentlemen Who Failed to Get Together. Two flashy colored boys stood In the ’ hot sun In front of the railway eating house and looked at each other with their eyes rolled sideways. “Look* hyah, you piece o’ dahk meat, I got some bone-handled trouble in,my pocket waitin’ saw you if you eveh come ’round that baby tryln’ to undamlne me!” “Slow up, boy! Ton’s on a slippery road, an’ If you don’t drive caihful you. going to fall right in dat ditch, fua thing you knows.” “Don’t get me stahted, coon! Don’t ’rouse me! I wouldn’t like to do it, but. I could jus’ lay hold of you’ dahk body and cut It up into rubbah balls. I ain’t used that razah saw whole week now,, an’ It’s gettin’ uneasy. I can feel It movin’ in my pocket an’ sayln’, ‘Mistah, let me get out on’ do someplng.’ ” “Look heah, you bettah sing dat razah to sleep, ’gase you ev&h reach saw It you Jes’ see whole atmosphere full o’ nlggah wool, striped shirt, and blue cloze. Yes, seh, you’d have to be geth’d up In a basket I got a piece o’ shiny bordwaib in my pocket, an’ it sings sweet an’ low, and ev’y time it speaks to you It ban’s you a pound o’ lead. Look out saw me, boy!” “Hush, coon, I really love trouble.” “Don’t staht nothin’ ’less you want to lose money saw yo’ folks. Costs money to plant a coon, yes, seh. You don’t get dem silvah-handled boxes saw nothin’, no, seh. Got any of dem papah cigahs, Henry?’ Henry reached for his package of cigarettes, and the traveler, who had been waiting to see murder done, gave # an exclamation of disgust and walked Into the railway station.—Haberdasher.

Home.

Home means rest, familiarity, love, truth, a fruitful waste of time, selfsacrifice. It is the true life, the end iu Itself, for which almost everything else is a mere Instrument or preparation. It is old-fashioned doctrine, but none the less true. The real test of what a man verily is is his home life. The man who cares nothing for home, who does ftothing to make his home happy, who is for ever longing for new faces and new scenes, may not necessarily be vicious; but he is “In a parlous state,” and the ready prey for the great enemy of souls. And the wife who cannot make a home may be very beautiful and very brilliant, ‘the obserevd of all observers,” the belle of her set, the best-known name in society; but, after all, she lacks that something, that pearl of great price, without which she comes short of true womanliness.

THE RUSH FOR GOLD.

From the Times, Bluff*, 111 The rush of gold seekers to the Klondike brings thrilling memories to the “forty-iiners” still ajaye, of the time when they girdled the continent or faced the terrors of the great American desert on the journey to the land of gold. These pioneers tell some experiences which should be heeded tyr gold seekers of today. Constant exposure and faulty diet killed large numbers, while nearly all the survivors were afflicted with disease,

"A Forty-niner"

interview he said: “I had been a sufferer of rheumatism fora number of years and the pain at timbs was very intense. I tried all the proprietary medicines I could think or heat of, but received no rdi qfc I finally placed my case with several physicians and doctored with them for some time, but they failed to do me any good. Finally, with my hopes of relief nearly exhausted I feadan article.regarding Dr. WUliams’ PinkPiils for Pale People, which induced me to try them. I was anxious to get rid of the terrible disease and bought two boxes of the pills. I began using them abetft March, 1897. After 1 had taken two boxes I was completely cured, and the pain has never returned. I think it is the best medicine I have ever taken, and am willing at any time to sign my name to any testimony setting forth its great merit.” (Signed) Adam Yangundy. Subscribed and sworn to before me, this 29th day of September, A. D. 1897. Franklin C. Funk, Notary Public.

A Good Bargain.

Mrs. Benliam—The paper tells of a man who exchanged his wife foi a sewing machine. * Benham—The poor fellow probably wanted something that could sew.— New York Journal. It is unlawful in France for any person to give solid food to.infants that are under 1 year old, unless on the prescription of a physician.

CASTOR IA For Infants and Children. Tin Kind Yon Han Always Bought Signature of C rMMMi fcC'fcg-g-g-C’stw x&st t, Page Illustrated Catalogue, describ- a $ ing all of the famous !J | WINCHESTER GUNS j 1 WINCHESTER AMMUNITION W N i sent free to any address. Send your 5 name on a postal card to, | WINCHESTER RWEAT|Nfi ARMS CO., jj S ISO Wlnche.t4.rAv.., New Haven. Ct.

MR. DOOLEY.

Sermon on Anarchists. “ ’Tis ha-ard bein’ a king these days,” said Mr. Dooley. “Manny’s th’ man on a throne wishes his father’d brought him up a cooper, what with wages bein’ docked be an’ ragin’ arnychists r-run-nin’ wild with dinuymite bombs undher their ar-rrns an’ carvin’ knives in their pockets. “Onaisy, as Hogan says, is th’ head that wears a crowen. They’se other heads thaT’re onaisy, too, but ye don’t hear iv tfaim. But a man gr-rows up in wan iv thim furrin’ counthries an’ he’s thraihed f’r to be a king. Hivin may’ve intinded him f’r a dooce or a jack at th’ most, but he has to follow th’ same line as his father. ’Tis like pawnbrokin’ that way. Ye niver heerd iv a pawnbroker's son doin’ annything else. Wanst a king, always a king. Other men’s sons may pack away a shirt in a thrunk an’ go out into th' worruld, brakin’ on a freight or ladin’ Indyanny bankers up to a shell game. But a man that's headed f’r a throne can’t r-run away. He’s got to take th’ job. If he kicks they blindfold him an’ back him in. Whin he goes-on watch he’s cinched. He can’t ask f’r his

time at th’ end iv th’ week an’ lave. He pays himsilf. He can't stlirike, because he’d have to ordher out th’ polis to subjoo himsilf. He can’t go to th’ boss an’ say: ‘Me hours is too long an’ th’ wurruk is tajious. Give me me pay-check.’ He has no boss. A man can’t be indipindint onIcss he has a boss. ’Tis thrue. So he takes th’ place, an’ th’ chances ar-re he’s ,th’ biggest omndhon in th’ wurruld, an’ knows no more about v-runnin’ a counthry thin I know about ladin’ an orchesthry. An’ if he don't do annything he’s a dummy, an’ if he does do annything he’s crazy, an’ whin he dies his foreman says* ‘Sure, ’tis th’ divvle’s own time I had savin’ that bosthoon fr’m desthroyin’ himsilf. If it wasn’t f’r me th’ poor thing’d have closed down the wurruks an’ gone to th’ far-rm long ago.’ An’ wan day whin he’s takin’ th’ air, p'raps, along comes an Eyetalyan an' says he: ‘Ar-re ye a king?’ ‘That’s my name,’ says his majesty. ‘Bether dead,' says th’ Eyetalyan, an' they'se a scramble, an’ another king goes over th’ long r-road. “I don’t know much about arnychists. We had thim here—wanst. They wint again polismon mostly. Mebbe that’s because polismen’s th’ nearest things to kings they cud find. But, annyhow, I sometimes think I know why they’re arnychists somewhere an’ why they ain’t in other places. It rayminds me iv what happened wanst in me cousin Terence’s fnm’ly. They was livin’ down near Haley’s slough in wan iv ol’ Doherty’s houses, not Doherty that ye know, th’ j’iuer, a good man whin he don’t dhrink. No, ’twas an ol' grouch iv a man be the name of Malachi Doherty that used to keep five-day notices in his thrunk an’ ownded his own privit jistloe iv th’ peace. Me cousin Terence was as dacint a man as iver shoed a hor-rse an’ his wife was a good woman, too, though I niver took much to th’ Dolans. Fr’m Tipperary they was an’ too handy throwin’ things at ye. An’ he had a nieefam’ly growin’ up, an* I niver knowed peopie that lived together more quite an’ amyablo. * 'Twas good Fr to see thim settin’ ar-roun’ ft’ parlor, Terence spellin’ out th’ newspaper an’ his good woman mendin’ socks an’ Honoria playin’ th’ ‘Vale iv Avoca’ on th’ pianny an’ the kids r-rowlin’ on th’ flure. “But wan day it happened that that whole fam’ly begun to rusp on wan another. Honoria’d sot down at th’ pianny an’ th’ ol’ man’d growl: ‘F’r th’ love iv th’ saints, close down that hurdy-gurdy an’ lave a man injye his headache.’ An’ th’ good woman scolded Terence an’ th’ kids pulled th’ leg fr’m undher th’ stove, an’ whin th’ big boy Mike come home fr’m Omaha he found none iv thim speakin’ to th’ others. He cud do nawthin’, an’ he wint f’r Father Kelly. Father Kelly sniffed th’ air whin he come in an’ says he: ‘Terence, what’s th’ mather with ye’er catch basin?’ ‘I dinnaw,’ growled Terence. ‘Well,’ says Father Kelly, ‘ye put on ye’er hat this minyit an’ go out f’r a plumber,’ he says. ‘l’m pot needed here,’ he says. ‘Ye’er sowls ar-re ail r-right,’ he says, ‘but We’er systems ar-re out of ordher,’ he sfcys. ‘Fetch iu a plumber,’ he says, ‘whilst I goes down to Doherty an’ make him think his lease on th’ hereafter is defective,’ he says, “Ye’er r-right,” said Mr. Hennessy, who had followed the argument dimly. “Iv ooorse I’m r-right,” said Mr. Dooley. .“What they need over there in furrin’ counthries is not a priest, but a plumber. ’Tis no good prayin’ agin nraychists. Hinnissy. Arnychists is sewer gus.”—Chicago Journal.

many of them with iheumitism. Such a sufferer was Adam V angundy, wh o now resides a t Bluffs, 111., w h e r e he has been justice o f the peace and was the first th? bofffl of trustees. Iu a recent

The wife of Senator Stewart will chaperone a party to the Alaskan gold fields next spring. Gov. Bowes of Oklahoma was n telegraph operator at Leavenworth when the war broke out. In San Francisco it is reported that Gen. Shafter will go to that city to resume his old command. Brig. Gen. John K. Mizner, United States army, retired, died suddenly in Washington of heart disease. The grandson of Oom Paul Kruger has been acquitted at Pretoria of the charge of slandering Queen Victoria. Miss Phoebe A. Hearst has furnished funds for the beautifying and improving of the University of California. President Marti* Kellogg of the University of California has tendered his resignation to the university regents. When' Seth Low was a schoolboy in the Brooklyn Polytechnic Institute he acquired a local fame as an amatetff actor of no mediocre ability, his part de tesistahee being that of the hero in the “Merchant of Venice.”

PERTINENT Personal;

Do You Like Boils If you do not, you should take Hood’s Barsaparllla and it will purify your blood, cure your boils and keep your system free from t£e poisons which cause \hem. The great blood purifying power of Hood’s Sarsaparilla is constantly being demonstrated by its many marvelous cures. Hood’s Sarsaparilla Is America’s Greatest Medicine. II; six for 15. Hood’* Pills cure Sick Headache. SB cts.

Court Knew What Was Poker.

Paul Milliken, who la one of the most popular men on ‘change, was yesterday on the floor rehearing the latest poker Incident It Is unnecessary to say that he secured a great many auditors, as there are numerous admirers of the great American game there. A private game had been broken up in a small town which was very religiously inclined, and the players arrested and taken before the county judge. The first prisoner was told by the judicial . light to rehearse in strict honesty what was going on when the officer appeared. “Well had just dealt. It was a jack pot—said ij ‘Open It, but it will cost you $2 to come in.’ The next player put up the needed amount and said: ‘Well, it will just cost $5 more to be in this play.’ The third one advanced it $3 more, and when it came to me I looked at my hand and found a pair of threes. I had been lucky, and concluded to go in the Jack pot and did so.” “Prisoner is dismissed!” cried the Judge, interrupting him in his story. “Well, what’s the trouble?” said the .latter, looking about alarmed and studying the judge in surprise. “Why, simply this: You are charged for playing poker, and your own evidence shows that you were not,” replied the court.—Cincinnati Enquirer.

DECORATE YOUR HOMES.

Beantifnl Representations of Wild Ducks, Pheasants, Quail and Snipe. Probably at no time in the world’s history has as much attention been paid to the interior decoration of homes as at present. No home, no matter how humble, is without its handiwork that helps to beautify the apartments and make the surroundings more cheerful. The taste of the American people has kept pace with the age, and almost every day brings forth something new in the way of a picture, a draping, a piece of furniture or other form of mural decoration. One of the latest of these has been given to the world by the celebrated artist, Muville, in a series of four handsome porcelain game plaques. Not for years has anything as handsome in this line been seen. The subjects represented by these plaques are American wild ducks, American pheasants, American quail and English snipe. They are handsome paintings and are especially designed for hanging on dining room walls, though their richness and beauty entitles them to a place in the parlor of any home. These original plaques have been purchased at a cost of 150,000 by J. C. Hubinger Bros, Co., manufacturers of the celebrated Elastic Starch, and in order to enable their numerous customers to become possessors of these handsome works of att they have had them reproduced by a special process, in the rich colors and beauty of the original. They are finished bn heavy cardboard, pressed ana embused in the shape of a plaque and trimmed with a heavy band of gold. They measure forty inches in circumference and contain no reading matter or advertisement whatever. • Until Oct. 1 Messrs, J. G. Hubinger Bros. Co. propose to distribute these plaques free to their customers. Every purchaser of three ten-cent packages of Elastic Starch, flatiron brand, manufactured by J. C. Hubinger Bros. Co., is entitled to receive one of these handsome plaques free from their grocer. Old and new customers alike are entitled to the benefits of this offer. These plaques will not be sent through the mail, the only way to obtain them being from your gTocer. Every grocery store in the country has Elastic Starch for sale. It is the oldest and best laundry starch on the market and is the most perfect cold process starch ever invented. It is the only starch made by men who thoroughly understand the laundry business, and the only starch that will not injure the finest fabric. It has been the standard for a quarter of a century and as an evidence of how good it is twenty-two million packages were sold last year. Ask your dealer to show you the plaques and yon about Elastic Starch. Accept no substitute. Bear in mind that this offer holds good a Short time only and should be taken advantage of without delay.

Hot Time Ahead for the Old Man. “What in the world’s the matter, maT asked Arabella, as her mother turned from the telephone and asked for her bonnet and wraps. “I’m going right downtown,” said Mrs. Higbrocks, and there was a cold glitter in heT eyes as she spoke. “I just tried to call your father up, and I heard him tell the hoy to say he wasn’t in.”—Cleveland Leader.

30,000 Acres More

of Fertile Farm Lands for ssle at ChesterviUe, Colorado County, Texas. Write for full particulars nbout cheap excursions and receive FREE 11lust’d book, *‘A Hon is Tixas.’’ Southern Texas Colonization Co., 110 Rialto Bldg., Chicago, 111.

Putting It Gently.

Barnes—Did you call Gunter a laxy donkey? Potter—Oh! not so directly as that I told him It was nearly time be was getting into harness again.—Pick Me Up.

Lane's Family Medicine

Moves the bowels each day. In orde. to be healthy this is necessary. Acts gently on the liver and kidneys. Cures sick headache. Price 25 and 50c. There is certainly something of exquisite kindness and thoughtful benev-! olence In that rarest of gifts—fine breeding.—Bulwer. Mrs. WUmIoW* Boot*txo strut for ChUdisa • 'WANTKDir-CaseofbwJ health that RIP-AN-8 will

Coughing Leads to Consumption.

Kemp’s Balsam will atop tbs cough at secs. Go to your druggist today sad get a sample bottle free. Sold la 25 and 60 cent bottles. Go st once; delays are dangerous.

Had Some Motive, of Course.

Mrs. Bellows—l believe you married me for my money. Bellows—A-hem! Well, I certainly didn’t go to the altar for my health.— New York Journal.

Hall’s Catarrh Cure.

Is taken Internally. Pries 75 cents.

The average age at which men marry is 27.7 years, while the average age at which women marry is 25% years.

-Stop! Women, /l And Consider the All-Important Fact, Mis r That In addressing Mrs. Pinkham you are confldJ i n 8T your private ills to a woman —a woman whose experience in treating woman’s diaeaaea V fiT rea 'te r than that of any living pby- / NwS —male or female, u You can talk freely to a woman \ when it is revolting to relate yomr \ TTVVr A private troubles to a man —beside^ ' j) a man does not understand —simply /r because he is a man. Many women suffer in silence and drift along from bad to worse, knowiDg full well that they ought to have -Uiis immediate assistance, but a natural J/f | modesty impels them to shrink from X exposing themselves to the questions / J Yhß and probably examinations of even f Ml ‘/H their family physician. It is unneeM jjll (H essary. Without money or price M fIJI you can consult a woman, whose f H ExuSP T? knowledge from actual experiI W4PZ ence is greater than any local I physician in the world. The fol- - * lowing invitation is freely offered; accept it in the same spirit: MRS. PINKHAM’S STANDING INVITATION. Women suffering from any form of female weakness are invited to promptly communicate with Mra Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass. All letters are received, opened, read and answered by women only. A woman can freely talk of her private illness to a woman; thus has been established the eternal confidence between Mrs. Pinkham and the women of America which has never been broken. Out of the vast volume of experience whieh she has to draw from, it is more than possible th at she has gained the very knowledge that will help your case. She aaks nothing in return except your good-will, and her advice has relieved thousands. Surely any woman, rich or poor, is very foolish if she does not take advantage of this generous offer of assistance. —Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co., Lynn, Masa “ The present Mrs. Pinkham’s experience in treating female ills is unparalleled, for years she worked side by side with Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham, and for sometime past has had sole charge of the correspondence department of her great business, treating by letter as many as a hundred thousand ailing women a year. ’

A Dewey Americanizing the Philippines. 2 Z Wherever Battle Ax goes it pacifies and satisfies Z Z everybody —and there are more men chewing Z i 1 | | • to-day than any other chewing tobacco ever made, w The popularity of Battle Ax is both national J X and international. You find it in Europe:—you Z X find it in Maine: —you find it in India, and you’ll X Z find it in Spain (very soon).' Z Z Our soldiers and sailors have already taken it to Z Z Cuba and the Philippines! Are you chewing it ? w | pemember the name $ § 1 v when you buy again. I

“He that Works Easily Works Successfully.” 'Tis Very Easy to Clean House With SAPOLIO

oftJC PAYS nHp the iIILFRAYT BEST SCALES- LEAST MONEY JONES OF BINGHAMTON N. Y.

The Growth of Socialism.

The growth at socialism is due to standing armies of the world in wMsfel J men are often made to enlist, and Ou/M become discontented. The growth sC.g ■tronger race la due to Hostetter’s ach Bitters, which is the best mwHHm j for costive®ess, dyspepsia, fever, agowndl 'i all nervous troubles. Try one bottle. . , Texas vAll have no timber In fifteaa years If the present rate of ending 1,000,000,000 feet a year continues. X never used so quick a cure as Pigs's Cure for Consumption.—J. B. Pshaw. Box 1171, Beattie, Wash.. Nov. 25, ÜBfc Law tolerates a private Injury booms ' than a public Inconvenience. Shun ointment* and lotion* for (kin dlimw, «*S sprains, brulies, etc, and awOlrunv .-nlnharSoaSk HIUV Hair and Whisker Pro, black or brown, 6ds

«mt YOURSELF I rriUtiom or ul«r.tioS biuoo»« sambniMS. Painlen, and Dot Htrt» , «•»* or poUoaou*. C. N. P. So , g»-W W B * warnwi wuob ut