Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 34, Number 51, Indianapolis, Marion County, 23 January 1889 — Page 7

THE INDIANA STATE SENTINEL, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 1889.

TALLAGE ON REVIVALS.

THENEED OF RELIGIOUS AWAKENING. The Noted Brooklyn Divine Preaches About Universal Spiritual Arousal The People should Not Walt For Choren or Preacher. The revival services now being conducted at the tabernacle by Dr. Munhall aflorded Pastor Talmage an opportunity to preach last Sunday morning upon the need of a great religious - awakening. It was an earnest and telling sermon, and is said to have made a visible impression on the very large congi egation present. Dr. Talmage preached at greater length than usual, and said, among other things: I argue it in the first place from the lack of zeal and enthusiasm on the part of those of us who preach the gospel and all Christian workers in all departments. You see this is a great pun that kicks. The pulpit must preach to itself before it preaches to the pew. The simple fact is that many of our pulpits are struck through with "dry rot and aro dying of the conventionalities and are blasted with metaphysics, and none of us in pulpits or in sabbath-schools, or in the reformatory circles, is doing one half of what he ought to be doing for God and the betterment of the world's condition. Thirtv-two years ago, in the village church at Belle--ville, '. J., I knelt, and some ten or eleven excellent ministers of the gospel put their hands on my head in ordination for the holy ministry, and I look back this " morning with two emotions one of gratitude to God, and the other of utter dissatisfaction with myself. Oh, the opportunstes we rejected for preaching Christ to the people and urging men to attend to their best interests. How poorly, often, they have been improve. I tell you, ministers of religion tor there are many here today ; I see you scattered all through the house, as in all our services I teil you, ministers of religion, and Sabbath-school teachers and Christian workers, let the work begin at home. And then I am almost overwhelmed when I think under what parental blessing I Btarted. Itev. Dr. Chambere of New York, at present one of the pastors of the Collegiate church, in a letter which was printed gome years ago, after a pastorate of long and wide experience, said that my mother was the godiiest woman he ever knew. The old folks were plain and they lived close up to God, and no one doubted where they went when they died, my mother saying in her last ho'ur, after sixty years of married life: "Oh, father, wouldn't it be pleasant if we could both go together?" Jiut they were parted only a little while. They are now before the throne of God. Oh, my glorified ancestry! We who have had such early advantages, why, we ought to have been flaming evangels. Oh, brother ministers of the gospel, what is the use of telling men they are all right when they know they are not all right? There is a throne in every man's conscience that tells him that when he accepts Jesus Christ he is right, and when he refuses to accept Jesus Christ he does wrong. But oh! the temptations which we in the ministry have you laymen know nothing about them. In this age the temptation is so mighty to 6moo'.h down the truth and hush the alarms of the gospe' and pat men on the shoulder or, as the poet said: "Smooth down the stubborn text for ear polite, And simply keep damnation out of tight!"' Oh, my friends in the gospel ministry, if you are hiding any of the truths of God's word, quit the folly or you had better stand away from that soul in the last great day ; you had better not come near that soul on the last great day, for that soul will cry out: "I admired your philosophical disquisitions; I liked your gestures. I liked your sentences multiform, 6tellar form and curvilinear, but you never told me about the great day of test and trial. Cursed be your rhetoric. Witness, all ye hosts of light and all ye hosts of darkness, I am going down and I am going to take that minister with me. It is his fault He never told me." And worlds of darkness echo it back : "His fault ! his fault!" I argue also the need of a mighty awakening from the cold-heartedness in the experience of a vast multitude of professors of religion. I am not stating an abstraction now. I am stating what you know. If a church have a membership of &00 700 are sound asleep. If a church have a membership of 600 500 of the members are sound asleep. If a church have a membership of 100 ninety are sound asleep. And if a question of a religious meeting comes up and that same night there is to be some operatic entertainment or a meeting of a lodge or a meeting of a social circle or a meeting of a literary circle and a man has to choose between the two, which does he take? I do not answer the question, but in your own silence answer. Does Christ or the world get that occasion? Hundreds and thousands of Christians 6tand asking themselves the infinitesimal questions: "Shall we dance? shall we play cards? shall we goto the theater?" and a thousand questions like that without asking the one question, "What is to bo the destiny of millions of souls now marching on toward the bar of God ? What is to be the destiny of the 500,000,000 souls without God and without hope in the world?" Where are the men and women who are making religion the primordial thing, the first and the last? Oh, ye back-slidden Christians, you die as you are, and all the communion tables at which you ever sat will lift up their hands of blood crying for your condemnation, and neglected bibles and prayerless pillows will cry: "Let him go down. He broke the sacramental vow. Out of the seven days of the week he gave not tive hours to Christ Let him go down." I verily believe that if the professors of religion who are living far away from God and neglect their duty could see their condition this morning they would bite their dps until the blood came, and wring their hands until the bones cracked, and would utter a shriek that would send this whole audience to their feet. I argue also the need of a great arousal from the fact that the cause of God is comparatively so slowly progressing. More Christians now than ever, more churches than ever, more religion in the world than ever, you understand that; but at the .present ratio of inc rease do you think this world will ever be brought to God? Why, it is a mathematical impossibility. There are more people born into the world than are born into the kingdom of God, and in 500,000,000 years the world would not be brought to God at that ratio. Where one man enters the kingdom of God ten drop into dissipation. Where one church is built fifty grogshops. Churches here and there flaming with religious zeal; multitudes of them sinking back to spiritual ism and humanitarianism and nothingism and devilism, and if as in many pulpits a man. stands up and tells people unless they are born again they cannot see the kingdom of God, kid gloves, diamonds bursting through, come up to the forehead in shame and humiliation. It is not elegant. Give me a thousand men all consecrated and I will take L'rooklyn for God. Give me 10,000 men all consecrated and I will take the United States for God. Give me a hundred thousand men all consecrated and I will take the world for God. I argue also the need of a - great and universal awaiemnz xrom the multitudinous de

partures out of this world. Why, many of you can remember a whole generation gone out of the world. Over some of them, oh. Christian man, you might have had an influence, but you did not use the influence. They are gone. Where is the fountain where we can wash. our hands clean from the blood of immortal souls? Here comes another generation. Now is our time. To-morrow may be too late. To-night may be too late. This afternoon may be too late. Now may be our time to reach them. Oh, that God would whelm us with the realities. Oh, that He would kill our stupidity, that He would pull from under us our couches of ease, that He would hurl us to the front. It seems to me, men and women of Brooklyn, men and women' of America, it seems to me it 13 time for something almost desperate if this world is to be saved at all, if these mighty abominations abroad in our city are to be overthrown and God is to be honored in the salvation of men and nations. Ordinary solicitation will not do the work. We need a momentum born of whole nights spent in prayer. As to our own church, you know that the very second Sabbath after this church was opened and the communion was spread we received 328 on profession of faith in Jesus Christ, and at another time 200, and at another time 400,and at another time 500,and at another time 700. But we have not seen such an awakening as I expect to see. I expect some day the people will assemble and every man, woman and child in tho assemblage will lind God. The whole audience under a mighty sweep of God's eternal spirit swept into the kingdom. Attendant upon this church and among its very best supporters are many who tell me they are not Christians. Tliey are frank about it. Among them are manv of my very best friends. When a week from" to-morrow night this church will be open for the annual pew assignment and some professors of religion will be striving to see how little they can do for the cause of God, or for the support of Christian institutions, thoso men, who are men of the world, will be doing their very best, and the more they can do the more they will be rejoiced. " If sickness should come to my household and we needed watchers, they would be the men and the women whom we would want there, and though others might fall asleep they would be wide awake until dawn. If I were making my last will and testament and I had property I wanted to divide among my family I could trust every dollar to them these'men of the world who make no pretension at all. Yet they are not Christians. They tell me they are not. Whose fault is it? Mine? I sometimes think it is. I sometimes think if I had been more earnest they would have long ago entered the kingdom of God. Oh, that today they would test and see that the Lord is gracious. Oh, men and women with whom I have so long been associated in church circles, why not now cross the line and have this subject settled for time and settled for eternity? Now is the day of salvation. Then how about the eight' or one hundred thousand strangers, who, during the past twelve months, have floated in and out of these services ? Or the eighty or one hundred thousand strangers who will float in and out the services during the coming twelvemonths? If John Livingston, in the kirk of Scotland, a church that would hold, perhaps, 700 people, had 500 converted under one sermon, why not thousands brought to God in this assemblage, for it was not John Livingston that converted them, but the Holy Ghost, who was still abroad in the world, and is here today. If John Knox could put the lever of his prayer under Scotland and shake it, ought not you to be able to get the lever of your prayer under this city and shake everything from Last River to New Utrecht, and from New Utrecht to Long Island City. I do not know how you feel, my brethren and sisters in Christ, but my heart breaks today with a longing I have for the salvation of the people. It seems to me if God denies this I cannot endure it. Whether by my life or by my death, let the blessing come. If over the mound of ray grave more can climb into the kingdom of God, then let me sleep the last sleep. Oh, for an earnestness that would make one sleepless from 10 o'clock at night until 7 in the morning with anxiety for the salvation of the people. If there comes such a night in the history of any Christian man or any Christian woman here, let that night be overwhelming with penitence and glorious with pardon. Let there be wailing, Mailing, wailing. Let there be shouting, shouting, shouting. But lest you might not see the setting of this day's sun, let this hour be the hour in which you shall cone into a humiliation before God below which there is no lower depth. Oh, for a blood-red prayer that would bow the heavens and bring all the unforgiven to the feet of a pleading, sympathetic Christ and that would shake the place as with tempest and earthquake and make it as solemn as though we heard the rapturous or agonizing vociferation of three worlds. Let me 6ay to men and women of the world, wait not for the church. Come in over their corpses. If they lie down in your path, climb over them. I invito you to grace irrespective of the church. Whosover will, the furthest out and furthest down, come this day to the feet of Christ. Do not wait for the church to do its duty. Religious Notes. The Iter. Dr. Knight has accepted his election as bishop of Milwaukee. The presbyterian synod of Ohio has 609 churches, with nearly 77,000 communicants. The convention of the Hungarian reformed church has voted to establish cell racy for the clergy. The baptist are not strong in Scotland. The membership of their eighty-four churches numbers 10,37(5. The conretrationalists of this country raised for missions at home and abroad during the last year over $0O0,OX). Plymouth church, Brooklyn (the late Mr. Beecher's), has a membership of 2,532. fceven-ty-nine were added during the year. Philadelphia has the only church for deaf mutes in this country and the only one in the world entirely managed by the deaf. The general executive board of the Woman's home missionary society proposes to estabiish a deaconess' home and training-school for missionaries in each of the leading cities of the country. An exchange says: "It is remarkable that the American clergy have given 'Itobert Klariere' about $."o,0UÜ worth of advertising, which lias benefited Mrs. Ward to the extett of $5X) thus far." Punditi Ramabai, the Hindoo woman who came to the Unitel States two years ago to raise money to build a college for the education of Indian women, has returned to her home with upward of 50,000. Mr. Moody commenced a series of meetings in San Francisco Jan. 6. They are held in the Mechanics' pavilion, which has been specially fitted up for the purpose, and will accommodate about S,U00 people. A young pastor down in Maine distributes to his auditors a printed skeleton of his morning sermon, which not only helps them to follow him as he preaches but enables them to carry away the sermon in a concrete form. Robert Turner of Ghent, Ky., died a few days ago. In ISjO he bought two slaves at auction and made $l,O0 by the transaction, and now his will directs this amount be divided from his estate among the four African churches in Ghent. There are eighteen methodist bishops whose names and ages are as follows: Bishop Bowman, seventy-one years old; Foster, sixty-nine; Merrill, sixty-four; Andrews, sixty-four; Warren, fifty-seven ; Foss, fifty-four; Hurst, fiftyfour; Ninde, fifty-seven; Waiden, fiftv-seven; Mallalieu, sixty; Fowler, fifty-one; Vincent, fifty-seven; Fitzgerald, fifty; Joyce, fifty-two; Js'ewman, sixty-two; Goodsell, forty-eight; Taylor, sixty-eight; Thoburn, fifty-two. Their average ngt is fifty-eight years.

I EXTERTAIN MY COUSIN.

HE TRIES THE TURKISH BATH. lie Experiences the Hot Room, tbe Steam Room, tbe Currycomb, the Lher Toiler, and the Pleasures of a Dry Rub, . Bat Will Not Again. HE gentle reader can never know, Bays a contributor to the Globe-Deyio-crat, what I suffered when my cousin Cyrus, from Cuttyhunk, Me., was seeing New York under my guidance a week or two ago. It is a terrible strain upon a delicate constitution like mine to invent schemes to amuse a man 60 dismally and relentlessly unmoved as Cyrus. He greeted every object of interest from J ay Gould to the rhinoceros in Central park with the same cow-like stare as if rapacious animals had been the constant subject of his contemplation in the wilds of Cuttyhunk. We visited the Hoffman house and other art galleries and partook of their cheer, but Cyrus gave a plaintive erunt and murmured "that raal genoowine bug-juice" could not flourish except under the fostering care of prohibition. I beean to hate him for his stony indifference. I piloted him back and forth across Broadway half a dozen times, in the hope that a beerwagon would run over him, but it was no use. His appearance was sufficiently extraordinary to attract the attention of even the New York truck drivers, and they turned aside for Cyrus, while only the ordinary run f metropolitan pedestrians passed under their wheels. I was disappointed, but finally an idea 6truck me. "Cyrus," ßaid I, "let's go and take a Turkish bath." "Don't need no bath," said Cyrus; "took one the Saturday before I left old Cuttyhunk." "But it's fun," I urged; something new. You never took a bath that way before." "The good old way's good enough for me," remarked Cyrus. CVRCS TRIES THE STEAM. I happen to know something about the pood old way so affectionately referred to by my cousin. It's a way they have down in Maine. It consists in taking a wash tub out in front ot the kitchen fire on an occasional Saturday evening, and standing in it with your near side roasted and your offside freezins, while you howl, "Don't come in hero !" to members of the family whom you have neglected to inform of your intention for kitchen doors have no iocks in Maine. The members of the family open the door about a foot, say "Oh !" and retire with their tubs and towels, having decided to put the matter off for another week. I thought that a real bath of seven courses and a dessert would be refreshing to Cyrus. I longed to see a professional manipulator grind his bony knuckles up and down Cyrus' tender rural spine, and I resolved to subsidize the attendant not to leave out any of his most effective punches, because I knew that my cousin had Yankee grit enough to see the affair through without a protest. I therefore urged him strongly and at last prevailed. We purchased our tickets at the most magnificent bath in the city. It was a little more expensive, but I didn't want Cyrus to miss anything. In this bath they have a "shower" that comes at a man. sideways and hits him under the fifth rib with a stream of water at a temperature nine degrees below freezing. They call it a "liver-tosser," and I yearned to see the man from Cuttyhunk in its icy embrace. Cyrus objected to giving up his money to the keeping of the man behind the desk. He said that he'd read of "them darned buncum sharps" in the papers, and he wasn't going to be worked by them. I pacified Cyrus with a promise fo make the amount good in case of loss, and he said that my word was all right, which shows how easily a man may be deceived even if he does read the papers. In a few minutes we were seated in the hot room. "Pretty warm in here, Cyrus," I remarked, pulling a thread out of a towel and covering my right leg with it, for I did not want him to notice how thin I am. FIELDING PAYS OFF AN OLD GRUDGE. 'Wall," said Cyrus, "they dew keep it a leetle dight close in here; but 'tain't nuthin' to the hot Sunday we had down in old Cutty last Jul'. That was hot. Hotter'n this in the shade." "Thermometer's a hundred and thirtyfive in here," I remarked. "That is pretty hot weather for Maine." "Yes, it's a little 6ultry," he admitted, and I was pleased to notice that he seemed disquieted by the figures. An attendant passed through with some mugs of ice water. We each took one, but Cyrus evidently shared the usual superstition about drinking cold water when one is so warm. But he couldn't let Maine pet left behind by New York, so he drank a little. "My stomach can stand putty nieh anything," he said, to resassure himself, but it was clear that he would not have lieen surprised to die at any moment. He held the mug in a very shaky hand, and, as a consequence, spilled some of the contents on his legs. No one who has not passed through a similar experience can realize how unspeakably cold ice water can bo.

i

Cyrus' composure was shaken, and for the first time I had the pleasure of hearing him swear. "Well, Cyrus, I remarked, to hide my mirth, "are you ready to go out and be rubbed?" Cyrus replied in rather a violent manner that he was ready for anything. We found some attendants, and generously picked out the strongest one for Cyrus. "Has the gentleman ever been to the bath betöre?" asked the man with the iron knuckles. "Oh, yes," said I, "he's used to it. Ho likes a- stiff brush and all that sort of thing." Then as Cyrus was led into his cell 1 whispered to him not to let the attendants know he was from the country. "Well, I guess not," said the man from Cuttyhunk. "Thar's nuthin' fresh about me!" He evidently tried hard to keep his word, for the groans which I overheard in the next stall were few, though expressive. "When he came out there were red marks up and down his body, suggestive of the war paint on a Penobscot brave. He smiled, however, and remarked cheerfully: "Putty iniddlin' stout currycomb they Jut onto a feller, but taint nuthin' to what 've been used to down in Cutty. I was run over by a patent mo win' machine in hayin' time an' never said boo about it." "Let's go into the steam room, Cyrus," I said, "you'll enjoy that" He appeared to, but not enough to satisfy me ; so I picked up a hose that was connected with one of the steam pipes. Then I advanced to where Cyrus form loomed up in the torrid mists that hung about that abode of luxury and turned on the hose. The man from Cuttyhunk disappeard entirely in a cloud of steam. Most of it struck him in the stomach. I turned off the supply, and gently asked Cyrus if he wanted to have any more. "It's good for rheumatism," said I. Cyrus caressed a blister on his breast bone and remarked that he wasn't much troubled with "rheumatiz." He said he'd hold the hoso with pleasure, if I wanted any treatment, but I declined. Among tho many pleasant memories of that occasion none gives me greater joy than the recollection xt Cyrus' appearance when he stepped down into the cold plunge. It's a little chilly, even after a man gets used to it, but to Cyrus it seemed a miracle that the tank didn't freeze. He hastily withdrew the foot that he had placed in the water, and wound it around his other leg in a way that pathetically expressed its need of svmpathy. "Go right in, Cyrus,'' said I. "It will do you good." And Cyrus went in, but he came out azain without any unnecessary delay. Then I introduced him to the "livertosser," and a few other interesting devices. He was beginning to be suspicious, however, and wanted mo to try some of the things first. I told him that my physician wouldn't let me, and then we withdrew to another room to receive the benediction of a "dry rub." I was hardly satisfied. It did not seem to me that Cyrus had had so good a time as I had laid out for him. I wanted to give him something novel and surprising, so when the manipulator, laid us down on two couches side by side I reached over and assisted the other man when Cyrus wasn't looking. Finally he went away for a few minutes, and I rose and took his place, after bribingmy man to silence. Cyrus was lying on his stomach, with his head on ä rubber pillow. I used to take lessons in physiology, and learned something about the construction of a man's back. When I looked at Cyrus it struck me that here was a chance to make some experiments. So I placed him in the position recommended as the most convenient for purposes of dissection, and placed.- Uay, .'. knuckles firmly on the location of the muscle called the latissimus dorsi. Having rubbed most of that olf of Cyrus, I moved to the trapezius, which is fastened upon your shoulder blade. I ground that down to a very fine thing, and Cyrus bit a piece out of the rubber pillow, but said nothing. I then tackled the levator angull scapula1.

CYRUS KNOCKS TUE ATTENDANT DOWN. which is not far from the other one. and passed from that to the rhomboidus major. I tied these up in a double bow, and Cyrus did the same with his toes, which were hanging over the end of the couch. Cyrus has developed a very expressive pair of feet by walking barefoot up in Cuttyhunk in the summer, and as I watched him shake one twist out of them and put in another in rapid succession I was able to form an idea of how much he was enjoying himself. I then passed down to the musculus accessorius adsaero-luinbaleni, which I found in the small of Cyrus' back, and as I ran my thumb up and down its surface I heard a hollow groan, and it appeared to me that Cyrus was about to rise and protest. Therefore, I dexterously lay down on my own couch, and at that moment the attendant who had begun with Cyrus returned to his post. He administered just one slap, and then the man from Cuttyhunk arose. "Look here," said he, "I can stand a good many things, but I'll be dog-blasted if I can stand this!" Then he knocked the manipulator down and bumped his head on the floor. I hurried him to his dressing-room. "Cyrus,' said I, "the Turkish bath is a luxury which you somehow fail to appreciate.'"Luxury!" said Cyrus slowly, "by gosh, I'd rather be run through pa's grist mill up in Cutty ; I would, by jimmeddy." A 'Journal" Correspondent Corrected. To the Editor Sir: In the Indianapolis Journal of to-day is a publication which is false and libelous against P. II. Moulton of this city. Speaking of William Kennedy, who is now in the prison south on life sentence for tho murder of David Baker in this city at the Logan rally just before the election of 18S4, and speaking also of Moulton and of arrests wade here of the supposed murderer the article says: "and in the end a great sensation was produced by the county recorder, a man named Moulton, being arrested for the crime." At the time of the murder of Baker, Mr. Moulton was in the city of Columbus, Ind. Nor was it true that "a sensation" was created by his arrest on that charge or on any other charge. No person here ever thought Mr. Moulton guilty of the crime, or thought of his arrest. He was born and has lived all hia life in and near this city and enjoys a reputation beyond suspicion. Decatuk. Greensburg, Jan. 17. Modern Jerusnleni. Christian at Work. There is a German newspaper published in Jerusalem, and it says that the city is growing in size and population at a remarkable rate, which is surprising, because neither iU situation nor its trade is favorable to a rapid increase. The Jews take the lead in building, followed by the Russians and Germans. The Greeks and Armenians are also busy building feufog. taars ami shops.

MONKEYS AND BRASS BAND .

OTHER STORIES FOR LITTLE FOLKS. Monkeys as Coin Testers A Ktw PerfumeCloud With a Silver Lining Theologicat Suggestion Only One Yankee Among tho Kids Problems. The newest service rendered by monkeys to mankind was recently illustrated in London. In one of the school districts there were a great many parents who reported no children in their famiiies; and in order to ascertain the real number of children in the district the school officers resorted to an ingenious measure. Two monkeys were gayly dressed, put in a waon, and, accompanied by a brass band, were carried thiough the streets of the district. At oncecrowds of children made their appearance. The procession was stopped in a park, and the school officers began their work, distributing candies to the yougsters and writing down their names and addresses. They found out that over sixty parents kept their children home from school, and the monkeys and brass band brought about 200 little boys and girls to school, which was pretty well done for two monkeys. Monkeys as Coin Testers. London Tid-Bits. The Siamese ape is stated to be in great request among Siamese merchants as a cashier in their counting houses. Vast quantities of base coin obtain circulation in Siam, and the faculty of discrimination between good money and bad would appear to be possessed by these gifted monkeys in such an extraordinary degree of development that no human being, however carefully tsained, can compete with them. The cashier ape meditatively outs into his mouth each coin presented toliirn in business payments, and tests it with grave deliberation. His method of testing is regarded in commercial circles as infallible; and, as a matter of fact, his decision is uniformly accepted by all parties interested in the transaction. " Closely Associated Indeed. Boston Times. There is wisdom in even the simple remarks of a child, if we will only try to see it. A friend has a boy, a very bright little feliow of some eight or nine years. A short time since he told hia mother he could not go to school, because he had a bad pain in his stomach, and when she questioned him he said : "It's just like the one I had last summer." "Oh, no, Freddie," said hia mother, "that was in vour head." The little fellow thought for a moment and then answered slowly: "Well, mamma, my stomach isn't far from my head." An Amusing "Little Greenhorn." Hartford Courant-1 A very little girl in the infant class of one of our city Sunday-schools came home last Sunday and told her mother that the teacher had taught them a new song. On expressing a wish to hear it, the mother was much astonished at the following sentence, which was all the child could remember: "I'm a little greenhorn among a half a cheese." The words which had been misunderstood by the child were these: "I am a little gleaner among the harvest sheaves." Cloud With a Silver Lining. Minneapolis Kevievr.l A teacher in the infant department of an Eighth ward Sunday-school recently observed a f. ve-year-old girl in the class makino: desperate efforts to suppress an exhibition of something which seemed to please her wonderfully. Thinking that relieving her mind might quiet the child, the teacher inquired the cause of her merriment. "Why," exclaimed the child, "my dramma's dead and papa's doin' to let me sing at ze funeral zis af'ernoon." Theological Suggestion. Troy Times. "Mamma, is it true," questioned Bobby, fresh from Sunday-st hool, "that we are worms?" "Yes," Robert," replied the mother, "we are but worms of the earth." "Say, then," he continued with animation, as il wrestling with a new and momentous discovery, "maybe ain't that the reason that the whale swallowed Jonah?" Testing His Father. Brooklyn Union. J Father "Johnnie, you must go to bed now." Johnnie "I don't want to, papa." Father "But you must, my sou. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise, you know." Johnnie "You didn't go to bed early when you was a little boy, did you pa?" Tho Difference. V Hartford Times. Little eight-year-old Ida, attracted by its bright binding, selected from the library a copy of Pope's Essay on Man to read. After a diligent effort to understand it, she replaced the book, saying to her mother, "It may be easy on man, but it's hard on children." A New Perfume. Harper's Young People. The church was beautifully decorated with sweet spring flowers, and the air was heavy with their fragrance. As the service was about to begin small Kittv pulled her mother's sleeve and whispered: "Oh, mamma, don't it smell solemn?" A "Braggin Itound." The Epoch. "Ma," said Bobby, "is pa dangerouslv sick?" "No, Bobbv, onlv a little sick, that's all." "Well, Willie "Wattles was braggin' 'round school tha'dm.ra was dangerously sick. Don't you think, ma. that my pa will be dangerously sick, too ?" Only One Yankee. V Detroit Free Pres. A little girl came home from school the first day and when asked how she liked school," said: "There ain't but one Yankee in the whole school; that one is John Jones and he is an Irishman." AVlint the Kids Are Saying. , . A small boy remarked the other day that if children made the children's books they would not be so silly. Book Bajjer. "How was it your little Bister got so much of the cake when I gave it to you all for yourself?" asked the kind maiden aunt. "Because," replied little Johnny rubbing his eyes, "she snatch id it." A". 1'. Sun. Jesse, seed four, was desirous of keeping for his own a little stray dog. Mamma said: "But then papa would have to nay a tax on the dog." "Our dog," said Jesse, "would put up his paw and knock the tacks off." Babyhood. A little eirl who complained the other day of peculiar sensations in her hands and arms was told by her mother that she was nervous. "Dear me!" she exclaimed, "mebbe I'm going to die of nervous prospects." De Jloinet Leader. "What do you say, Johnny?" asked his roamma, when his Uncle Harry gave him 10 cents. "I don't know what to say," replied Johnny, "unless it be that I should think that he in i cht have made it a quarter while he was about it." Boston Transcrwt. "Ma," complained Bobby, "can't I have a better knife than that old iron one? I haven't cut myself once with it" "No, Bobby; that's a very good knife for such a little boy." "But, ma. Tommy Traddls is no bigcer'n me, and he's got a jimdandy. You ought to see his fingers." Jiarper' ßazar. Benevolent Old Geut "How my heart bounds when I see the happy faces of childhood. Note the beaming smile of the little boy now approaching. Heaven itself seems to L& illuminated tV-se little toaturea. I will

speak to him. One moment, little boy. Why are yoC so happy?" Little boy (grinning"Ma got mad and epaaked me with her new four-dollar hair brush and she broke it" Philadelphia Record. A correspondent writes: "I took a little friend of mine aged four years to the Paulist church, eornerof Fifty-ninth-st. and Ninth-ave., Sunday, and he was so deliehted with the procession a usual feature of the church rhat he exclaimed on seeing it. T know what that's for; it's a parade, and God is elected.' "-.Ynr York Evening Post. A little girl had been absent with her parents at a cam p-niee tine for two wee ts. On her return her little playmate, Ella Day, entertained her by showing her new playthings. At night little Mary, in saying her prayers, said: "O, Lord, bless Ella Dar and make her a good girl so as 1 can take all her playthings away from her and she won't want them back again." Troy Timet. A bright Canajoharie five-year-old appeared with a dirty face at his grandmother's houe the other day, and she, with an intensified look of surprise, remarked: "Why, child, you really look tough." The little "fellow placed his hand upon his stomach, looked up with a pitiful expression, and said: "Grandma, I feel tough. Haven't you got any apples or pears in the house?" The young man's appetite was speedily appeased. Albany Journal. It was in Sunday-school and the young lady had asked the bovs, "Who made the sun and moon to stand still?" One youngster, of course, said Moses. I don't know why, but of all the old testament characters Moses seems to get the firmest grasp on the young mind. If any question is asked as to who was identified with any particular biblical history some one is 6iire to say Moses. In this case some other boy 6aid Aaron, and several other names were suggested. Finally the teacher said blandly, "What's the matter with Joshua?" "He's all right," yelled the boys in unison. San Francisco Chronicle.

KNOTTY PROBLEMS. Our readers are invito to furnish original entsrma, charades, riddles, rebuses, and other "Knotty Problems," addressing all communications relative to this department to E. K. Chaiburn, Lewiston, Me. No. 2633. An Enigma. I rst on the ocean's billowy breast, I roam not over the land ; Yet when you go for a shady walk, You seo ma on every hand. You see me? Nay, I am never lean, Bat heard full often at night. When all are resting in quiet sleep, Awaiting the coming light. Jos Qrru No. 2633. A Novel Acrostic. (WORDS Or EIQIIT LETTERS.) 1. Making hard. 2. To roll arouud. 3. To choke. 4. With mean coretousness. 5. A kind of fish. 6. Shrill and harsh. 7. A lizard. 9. Harsher. 9. A wrong title. 10. The act of scattering. Fourth Line Dows A beautiful poem. Fifth Lixe Dows The author of this poem. St. Elmo. No, 2624. A Drummer1! Charade. I had a distant point in view, And thought, as many others do, That it would be discreet and wias In all ways to economize. To an otiicial then I said, "Can I two one to Marblehead?" "That," said he, "you cannot do, Unless yon show me a one tiro." But when I told him I had none He bluntly said: "You can't go one." It was his duty to refuse; 1 had no right a tiro to use, And so I paid and onward sped; 1 went not one to Marblehead. INet-SOsus. "o. 262S The Carpenter's Predicament. "What's tbe matter, father?" askM the brieht young daughter of a carpenter, as she saw her father with a puzzled look on his face. "Matter enough," answered the carpenter. "I have lost my foot rule, and I need to measure four inches. "Haven't you any measure of any kind ?" "No; at least 1 have only these two sticks," answered the father; "one is jixat a yard long, and the other is exactly twenty-three Inches long. But, of course, they won't help me any." The daughter thought a moment, and then said slyly: "Will you let me have a new bonnet if I measure the four inches with those two sticks?" "I tell you it can't be done," answered the carpen tor. "Well, but if I can do it may I have the bonnet?" "It's safe enough to promise that." "Then vou do promise it?" "All right." In a few minutes the girl had accurately measured off the required length of four inchev How did shs do it? J. H. Ff.zaxdie. "o. 2626. Double Letter Enigma. In "wealth of old" there is no hart; In "piles of gold" I have no part ; In "morn of life" our joys are deep: In "wearing strife" good feelings sleep. For old friends are the best friends, And old one, dearest seems. When next with sorrow rest lends To memory fond dreams. ComHete, our olden zest tends To catch the sunset gleams. Teasza. 'o. 2627. Friend and Foe. I was discovered alone with America and was a useful friend to both Ind'ans and settlers, often preserving tbe latter from starvation. But how was I treated in return? Though t bey used me, the Indians put me under ground, pulled my ears, bruised me, roasted me; ana the white men did etill more, for they ground me till my head was crushed. Yet I survived, and while the Indians have almost disappeared, I still possess the land. In summer I dres in silk, but in autumn I lay aside my "brave attire" of silk and plumes and tassels, and then a house is provided lot me, so tünch am I thought of. and you may often meet me at "the hospitable board," as I am a favorite with rich and poor. Though much has been said about me, I have always said nothing, though a close observer will discover there is "talk" in me. Designed by nature to be man's best friend, he often makes me one of his worst enemies. Tomosa. No. 2628 An Anagram. "Mr: I seed cash," said I To one who would on credit buy ; I wish to pay the debts I owe, My "goods" are oflered very low, An best of bargains can be made By those who come with me to trade. NELSOyiAJf. Answers. 2G14 Woman. 2nl5 Bass-i-net. 2tU6 Thirty goose eggs, fifty duck's eggs, seventy ben's egs. 2617 Drug-get. 2C18 Twine, wine, twin, win, in, L 2613 S T 3 EEL STEPMOTHER SEMIBBEVE LOBS I DE D T R I T O N E HEDONIST EVENIKCOG EEDESCENDS TON G D S 2620 Monogram (mono, oo, gTam.) 2021 Tar-tar. TO DRAIN THE KANKAKEE VALLEY. An Important Meeting of Those Interested II eld in Chicago. Chicago, Jan. 18. A number of gentlemen interested in the drainage of the overflowed and wet lands situated in the Kankakee yalley met this afternoon in the club-room of the Palmer house. About one hundred persons, including representatives from all the counties interested, were prebent. Clem Studebaker of South Bend, Ind., was elected chairman and J. M. Wounche of Crown Toint, Ind., secretary. The following resolutions were introduced and adopted: Resolved, That it Is the sense of this meeting that the first and most important step to enalile the landowners to drain and reclaim the 1,700 sijuare miles of swamp and overflowed lauds of the Kankakee valley in the state of Indiana, is thatof cutting a chanuel of sufficient width and depth through the ledge of rock which extends across tho Kar.kakee river at Monience, 111., so as to atlord an outlet for the marshes, and to aeoompliKh this we request an appropriation be made by the state of Indiana from the state treasury of such a sum as will bring about these improved conditions. On motion, a committee of three was appointed from each county to solicit signatures to a petition to be presented to the Indiana rtate legislature requesting these improvements, as follows: Lake county, J. W. Brown, .T. A. Little, Oscar Dinwiddie; Porter county, W. D. Howell, Dr. John Blackstoo, IeForest L. Skinner; Newton county, John Brady, John Sink, James DeWolf; Jasper county, Isaac D. Dunn, William Danks, "eorge lloebn; Laporte county, J. N. Con hay, Patrick Huncheon, George Deonison; St. Joseph county, D. W. Place, Asa Knott, Clem Mudebaker; Marke county, W. II. CoQln, Dr. Henderson, J. U. McLaughlin. A committee of three was then appointed by the chair to present these petitions to the legislature of tbe state of Indiana. This whole matter was presented to the legislature two years ago, but nothing was done. It is claimed that a large ledge of rock in the Kankakee river at Momenee, 111., is the cause of the overflow which submerges millions of fertile acres n the Kankakee valley in Indiana. When his obstruction is removed, the gentlemen inerested in the movement claim that this large ract of swamp land will be drained and can

THE FANCIES OF FASHION.

THEATER AND RECEPTION BONNETS. Prevailing Notions For Attendants Upon Style With Sometimes at Bit of gaging French Spice All forts of Fads of Fashion. Althonfth feathers of all kinds are now used on toileta to an extent never before reached, they by no means hare a monopoly, especially in the adornment of headsrear. The big directoire hat of dark green or black has, either on the outside ot the brim or beneath it, nestling close to the hair, a small cluster of neapolitan violets, while replacing all other trim mings on dressy bonnets for reception and theater wear, are beautiful diadems of tea or blush roses devoid of leaves, Jacqueminot bud3, wild roses with hearts of deep yellow, or half wreaths of rich red carnations, or pretty violeta resting on full quillings of lace falling on the waves of the hair. Not alone is the staid variety of black lace used in dainty little capotes, or brimless, fiat turbans for theater wear. But all colors of tulle and point d'espritnet enter into the composition of pretty creations in whose fashioning is observed some thought for the convenience and comfort of persons who may Bit behind the wearer. A lovely flower bonnet is made of a single large pink rose, the petals fastened down by jeweled pins and the heart formed of a cluster of delicate pink rosebuds and green leaves. Another has pinb rose petals for a foundation, crossed half a dozen times by very Blight vines of email, unblown rosebuds enveloped in their tender, green ßheaths.- Striking red bon nets are of scarlet geraniums or cilky poppy petals with flat bows and narrow strings of black velvet. Then little poemi in purple and green are of varying shades of violets or heliotrope, massed together for a crown and simply finished with bowg of pale-green velvet ribbon. A 6tylish baby bonnet suitable for a young debutante is of mauve tulle drawn on bands of half-inch ribbons that match. It has narrow strings of the same color, and a large, loosely-mounted bunch of purple violets that catch down the soft crown and drop over on the hair. Many black bonneta are to be seen, but generally with some commingling of color. The edge of one black shape is edged with palest green, the lace falling on and half hiding it At the top i3 a green bow and cluster of violets. The favorite toque is worn quite as often as the capote, and may be provided with strings or not. One of these made of yellow cloth embroidered with gold has a full gathered brim of black velvet with two little bunches of violeta in front slightly on the left side. Another is of myrtle green velvet trimmed with a narrow garland of begonia leaves, ehadina from grayish white to a deep red, and tied with narrow green 6atin strings. Another, without strings, has a border of claret velvet, surmounted by a twist of red net in whose folds as they rise above the face are three velvet roses without leaves in three shades of vieux rose. Still another has a crown of vieux rose velvet wrapped around with black-sprigged net while in front is a large bunch of chrysanthemums, 6ome pale yellow, others of a peculiar shade of purplish violet. It is chiefly by diversity in the shape and decoration of the bodice of the season that the love of change finds expression. Many waists of imported gowns are made in antique fashion and ornamented with costly passementeries in plaque shapes, which are placed on collar, sleeve and plastron. Some of these are as finely executed as the most beautiful lace work, and one of the consequence! of their manufacture is the revival of the quaint lace points of the sixteenth centuries. A handsome "at home" toilet, on which these points appear, is of rica green silk brocaded with a large flower design of rcses in several ehades of red, A row of lace points edge3 the drapery on one side of the skirt, forms full cufis at the sleeves, and makes the broad collar and fihort platron that is on the front of the corsage. Pretty, easy gowns for home wear have closely-fitting backs, with the waist cut off just an inch or so below the belt. To this is shirred or plaited full breadths of the dress material. The fronts are like a long, half-fitting directoire redingote, and may be made of entirely different fabric and pattern from the back drapery, or even the back of the bodice. Thesa fronts may open over a skirt that is shirred three or four inches below the waist. A shirred vest with a blouse effect at the lower part shows between the broad revers of the redingote. The sleeves match the black drapery and the gown, as a whole, though the description mar Bound ''patchy," it is a very ingenious and becoming success. Then charming housa dresses for 6tylish young women are made of cashmere in various shades. These are make with the bodice portion opening over plaited silk shirt waists feather etitched with silk the color of the cashmere. A dress in this style of sea-gull gray ha a 6hirt-waist of delicate pink tint brierstitched in shades of gray. Another of moss green is over a plaited silk waist of vivid Koman red, with green and gold 6titching, and a pinkish violet Henrietta cloth shows a blouse of softest rosy lilac, with a vine stitching of violent tints. A costume of pale yellow camel's hair is made with a short pink skirt very full in the back. Above this skirt is a blouse of yellow silk with a velvet girdle bordered with gold gimp. Over this blouse is a square-fronted Russian jacket of black velvet finished with small gold cord and ornamented with three large gold buttons. A velvet bag hung with broad velvet ribbons is at one side of the skirt. Fads of Fashion. Accordion plaited cloaks are coming rapidly into vogue. The best grounds for all bright decorations are electric blue and smoke gray. The English overgaiters for ladies are made of cloth and undressed kid, both gray and tan. There is a genuine revival of the pretty French breakfast caps for young women, married or unmarried. Worth is sending from his atelier elaborate (owns of green and rose, combined with sash of white moire and deep fall of rich lace about the bodice. A black cat perched upon a sheet of music, with the line "I am considering" in black letters below it, is a fancy in writing paper just from abroad. At a swell London wedding each of the eight bridesmaids had her bouquet mounted stop of a long La Tosca cane, which was held stiffly opright throughout the ceremony. Coiffures decrease in size and are generally worn high by grown women. Young misses aflect the catagon. It is coiled loose and low upon the neck or else hanging and tied with a big bow of broad ribbon. Chatelaines are said to be coming into styl again, especially in steel and oxidized silver. Small jeweled watches are hung from inch-wids watered ribbons, which are fastened to ths bodice by small antique buckles. Paris is responsible for the stockings of tinted lace in duchesse or chantilly that srt worn over thin Bilk hose of warm desh color, and accompany Koman sandals of bronze with the narrow strap over the instep fastened by a fancy clcsp. White India ilk Rowns with directoire revers and broad sah of heliotrope velvet are ths correct thinsr lorlthe debutante to wear to ths theater or for informal dinners. The proper floral adjunct of this costume is a small luacs of hf'iotrope aa J Pcraa violets.