Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 33, Number 44, Indianapolis, Marion County, 7 December 1887 — Page 4

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T.HE IK DIANA STATE BEKT1KEL. WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 7 188T.

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TERMS FEB TEAR. Blnjle Copy, without Premium . . II 00 Club öl six for-.. . 5 00 We ask Democrat to bear la mini and select their own State paper when they come to take inscription and make op clubs. Agents miking op clubs send tor any Information desired. Address LSÜ1ANAPOU3 8ENTINEL, Indianapolis, Ind. Bayer ears the "appellation" of "Trick Male" applied to him ia o. k. In this Sayre confesses that he is at least half ass. Gksebal Harrisos, the next time he goes a "plowing," should harness himself with Sayer, the "trick male" and have Robertson for a driver. I.ittue Bfnny Harrisok, if pos3ible, i3 somewhat more diminutiye than when "Bine Jeans" sat down on nim with crushing poiderosity. Or.D Queen Victoria is paying distinguished honors to two dead Ibnaparts who were, when living, about as much like 'apo!eon Sonaparte as a Colorado grasshopper is like a giraffe. The mortal remainsof Louis Napoleon ami his son are to be removed, and oa the occasion military honors are to be paid the dead. If old Napoleon could, he would doubtless materialize and kick against the whole business as vigorously as any male. IU f.:o the entire history of the United States of America since the date of the first Congress, no man ever had a better right to a seat in the United States Senate than Hon. David Tarpie, Senator-elect from the State of Indiana. Rumor ha3 it that an e'Tort will be made by Republican Senators to defraud the Indiana Senator out of his seat. That some of them are capable of perpetuating the infamy goes without sayiag.'that all of them will join in the conspiracy, is jet to be demonstrated. Hoy. Allen G. Tuttr-man, in his farewell Epeech at Kenton, Ohio, said: "I tell you one thing, however, if the Government does not quit piling up money at the rate of $l0ö.0o0,000 per year, we will soon have to be trading coon skins to get our bread. And there is nothing more corrupting than this state of affairs. It leads to all sorts of schemes In Congress for its expenditure." And it is believed that the message of the President to Congress will sharp ly define a policy by which the $100,000,000 robbery tax will be swept out of exist ence. Old Murat Halstead, who tries to show that the Southern negro is oppressed by the white race down South, doss not see things as does the Philadelphia Press, a Republican sheet, the editor of which, earTeying the South, says: If figures are wanting to show the progress of the race, it can be said that the negroes of Georeia pay taxes on property assessed at over $,000,000; those in South Carolina pay taxes on $10,000f000 worth of property, and those in Louisiana are as sessed at $30.000,f00 worth. But better than all these proofs of material prosperity are the evidences that the race is advancing intellectually and morally. Here jou have it that the negroes ot the South, under Democratic rule, are improv ing, that their progress Is material, intellectual nd moral, and it is this progress that makes them vote the Democratic ticket. And the more they Improve the more certain are they to leave a party that honest Republicans by the thousand throughout the North are abandoning. A Washi-vus dhpatch says that Ca!. Dudley is spoken of as Chairman of the national Republican committee, because it is believed he can carry Indiana. "It will be remembered," says the dispatch, "that when Colonel Dudley was United Etatea marshal of Indiana he took an active part in the campaign of 1S80." Yes, and it will be remembered that, in the cam paign of 13-0, $100,000 was used in buying votes, hiring repeaters, bribing election o Seers to stuff the ballot-boxes and f ateif y the election returns, and now comes the admission that Dudley was cheek by jowl with Dorse y in that nefarious business, and that his office as United States .Marshal was of servirs In carrying out the Dorsey programme. The game of 1SS0 will not be played again in Indiana. frs(itne4th ol March, 1S35, 31. 821. 4 acres of land, stolen nnder Republican administration, have been restored to the public domain. Indiana contains 23,204 000 acres. It will be seen that the amount o land reclaimed in two years by a Demo cratic administration is equal to the State of Indiana, and leaves a balance of 8,300,431 acre3. New Jersey contains 5,00i, 00 acres and Connecticut 3 103.CD0 acres, and thus it is seen that the Democratic party has reclaimed from the land thieves lands equal as follows to Aero Indiana, Kew Jersey.... Connecticut.. . 2-1,3; 1.0 ..... .. 51,i0.ß X) M....3,19i,6O0 Total 31,453,2)0 with a remainder of 365,281 acres eqaal to 2,2?rt farms of ICO acres each, and still one acre is left, about enough for a prison in which to incarcerate the thieves, if they could be caugt and punished as they deserve. If the Democratic party Is defeated In the land thieves will again go into business, and what little of the public domain is left will rapidly disappear. Is the reports of the treasury showing the amount of money in circulation, it frequently happens that about $16,000,000 Of o!d demand notes, other notes, and fractional currency form a part of the sum total. Elimination such items.it is shown that on November 1, 1337, the circulation was as follows: Nv. 1, 1SS7. . f:JW,W.-,77 C2,M0,62 . 5t,2J0,O5l jW,4l6,4il rJ9.ft-U.773 ltJ,713.9"7 7,21'j.OOO 27,6iJ.23 !S?,61,073 CiDld coin....-.-f-itaudard silver. Subsidiary (Totals-....-frina certificate! .- JMiter certiScates , 2ejai tenders.. 3al tender certitijates. Uink notes Total paper... .Total $ !,8C5,87!Ml9 . This shows an increase of circulation as . fcompireJ with Jana 30, 1836, of $110,,C;&J, ar.d as compared with one 20,

S87, U9.G25,23i. Ia this connection it ii

ataled that the stock of silver dollars in circulation steadily increases, and the de mand for small coins and notes ia 83 great that the Treasury it able to fLid nse for a constantly increasing part of the unavail able subsidiary silver formerly held. The demand for money ' shows that business everywhere is active and prosperous, and that under Democratic administration the country is rapidly developing its wonder ful resources. Gold hi'Sting in the mountains of the far "West is something which the gold hunter along the ordinary highways of business, honorable or otherwise, has a very limited and imperfect conception. A Helena, M. T., writer devotes some space to the subject in the BL Louis Post-Dis patch. With the gold hunter, fortune ia as fickle as with other mortals who take less risk. "When the gold hunter "strikei it rich," he soon forgets his toils and privations, and his speedily acquired wealth is "blown in" against a faro bank, or is lost in trying to ''master the intricacies of draw poker," or eome other equally fascinating game. But when one fortune is gone, the blandishments of civilization are renounced, and the gold hunter, "often with so other companion ihaa a stubborn tack-mule, whi h he leads along by a halter, turns his back on suca civili zation as border towns cai boast ot, and hides himself among the awful soli tudes of the mountains, where he remains, except when he repairs to the nearest set tlements to procure fresh supplies, pur suing his lonely and dangerous task until, the storms of winter compel him to seek sbtlter again among the habitations of his fellow-men. If, perchance, he should discover a promising lead daring his sum mer explorations, then he builds himself a snug cabin of logs, or if there is no timber in the neighborhood, scoops "out a bole in the side of a mountain and, to use his own expression, "camps on the prospect." His diet consists of fat bacon, bread of his own manufacture, and coffee, i casionauy variea dj roasieu grouse, a slice of venison or other game, supplied by his own trusty rifle. And he makes his nightly bed on the brown lap of mother earth. The gold hunter in his search for the precious metal, meets with many disanointments such as finding "Pilgrim zcld,"orhe washes dirt in the gulch, or (inks a ehaft to bed "rock," only to find the dirt won't pay. He scales almost perpen dicular cliüs. to find ore rich in silver tnd Irad, and in the moment of ecstacy, discovers the walls of the lode suddenly come together and the fortune is "pinched out," And even when expectations are realized, he is still in danger ot having his claim "jumped" by scamps in the employ of men who make it their business to rob the gold-hunter of the reward of his toils and sacrifices. They aie rich and unscrupulous, and the lone and friendless gold-hunter has little show against such pirates. Such, says the writer, is the real life of a gold-hunter, ex cept in a few cases. After years of ex hausting toil, and just when his effjrts are about to be crowned with success, others step in and Bteal the fruits of his labors, or by trh kery and fraud reap the harvest which he has sown. Those who so wrong him awe highly honored and respsc ed in the communities where they reside, while he, who first planted the standard of civili zation in the Western wilds, and won a vast empire from the wilderness, steals into an unknown grave, and such men be come millionaires, and fill the world with their fame. They get rich quickly, but not honestly. And yet, whether stealing land, robbing gold-hunters of their claims, watering stocks, cornering food products or forming trusts and monopolies, they keep "well within the law." They are all robbers of the poor, who mace the masses pay them tribute, and es sps all penalties, and this is done in a land where it is siid "all are equal before the law," and while such nefarious'practices are going forward, mea ask why Anarchists? - IMPORTS AND EXP0RT3. Those who are studying the foreign commerce of the country, will donbtless be pleased to have the official figures which will enable them to arrive at correct con clusions and give them data for such com ments as they may choose to make. Wm. F. Enitzler, Chief of Bureau of Statistics, in his annual report gives the following sum totals of exports and imports of mer chandise, gold and silver, for the years t, med on the ?lst ot October of each year; i i ports Merc handise. 12 $ 741.179.Sat in fia,5n.6.i lv 7:4 .l-JT.TV. 1V, 716,672,617 lvi .7.0V!1,8H lis" 71,Gü,7 ft.627,HÖ2,l? porta Merchandise. lHsi 752,rM5l Ivs3 C'.1.0ft8,2X.' im 52.&61.41 1 57ir.7,3T3 l"w" flVH73.iIS l.ib7 707,062.4'JS tl 011.154.012 fxces of export) over imports, T xports OoM. S r,H.6J7 86 1 IfKS 5.4.'. 8.7 lHHt I1,1J1,17 Ivtf 9,.SM,HV IWi UT)1.(XH lVC 'J,0H,Si S 117.0 U,d-i Imports Gold. Ih-i-' 1M:J J4 )vC 1M7 i 1 4.801. 1M 21.0T7.t7'J 27.17S.120 Kxct M of exportsover imports, txports Silver. a 1M2 $ 16.DS2.SM 23.HIS612 1 "iM 2S,57'J.Oft.i 1S5 3-t,".KJ,l.'J lSft 2i Ml 719 L7 27,175,1 M t;.6Cl,S0 m?,5H,')2 Imports filter. 1aS3 lv4 lv5 11H6 1j7 t 7,(M.m 14.1 16 175 lS.50-2.9:t5 17,9S:.7y. 16.170,151 17.300.261 $i.C.M,062 Fxcces of exports over Imports, Total ex, lichdse. f27..sf.2.i? " " ld. 147.t:ri.CWi " " Buyer, 16,9:hj.4W 14 511,.720 Total im.-Mchdse. " " Silver, M CH1.15H Oti lR).;t6'J,72S H,20l,na,752 Exce of exports over import!. S67l.ft.5.974 x It will be observed that oa October 31, 1387, the balance of trade was in favor of tia United States to the aaoont Stfl.MS,

97 L, The United States has that vast sum

to her credit. We have no foreign debt to pay. It may be of interest for the farmer to know that of the $4,627,862,193, the sum total of exports for the past six years, at least tz per cent cr $3,332,otJO,7S2 repre sents agricultural products, the price of which, being fixed in a foreign market, is placed beyond his control, not only for what is sold in foreign markets, bat that which is sold at home. He is required to sell his wheat, corn, hogs and cattle at ex port prices, bat on the other hand, when he is required to buy articles of prime ne cessity, be finds them burdened with a tax ranging from 45 to 100 per cent in the interest of favored monopolists, and that the Government may collect more than $100,000,600 annually more than is requir ed to run the government machinery. Just how long the robbery will be tolerated depends largely upon the vote of the farmers of the country. SENATOR TUaPIE. Hon. David Tarpie now occupies his rightful seat In the United States Senate. In view of the fact, what becomes of the idiotic twaddle of Sayre, Has ton et al., in' eluding the more profound asinine logic of General Ben Harrison? In the late Gen eral Assembly of Indiana, the proposition was to elect Geaeril Een Harrisan to the United States Senate, not by fair means, but by a resort to the most nefarious practices. the scheme had been concocted; each Re publican rascal knew the part ha ws to act, and as a last resort, mob violence was to be used. Never in the history of Indi ana or in the history of any other State, was a more iniquitous plot devised to'override the expressed will of the people, but the conspiracy did not succeed. The in trigues and machinations of the Republi can conspirators were defeated by as noble a band of Democrats as ever stood between the people and the enemies of law and order. One by one the stratagems of the Republicans were crushed and their base designs exposed, and truth and justice vindicated. As a result, David Tarpie was elected United States Senator, has been sworn into office and has taken his seat. GENERAL BEN HARRISON ON THE PENSION QUESTION. It should be alrays remembered that what little public pap has fallen to the lot of General Ben Harrlsqn has been secured by fraud, and only when fraud triumphed has General Ben been decorated with offi cial robes and consequence. Such being the case, it is entirely natural that General Ben Harrison should exhibit on all occasions that he has been contaminated morally. He has been the associate of such in describable scoundrels as Dorsey, and it was the villainy of Dorsey and his confed erate scamps that made General Ben liar rieon United States Senator. But for forgery, perjury, bribery, ballot-box stuff' icgand similar crimes, General Bjn Har rison could no more have been United States Senator than he could have ben an arch angel. It follows, that when General Ben Harrison gets up to make a partisan political speech, he can no more follow the straight line of fact than a blind man could detect the difference in colors. In his Danville speech General Ben was more than usually unfortnnate. In no one instance where he referred to'.the Demo cratic party was he truthful. A more lam entable case of paltry misrepresentation was never exhibited. A man more thor oughly debauched by prejudices never dis cutEed great public questions. Having sought by the most shameful methods to re-elect himself to the United States Senate and failed, he seems to have added intensity to the fierceness of his rancDrous spirit, and while in this mood said : "Sal diers, I believe that the question whether jour fame and honor shall be exalted above the fame of those who fought against the flag, whether the rewards of your services shall be just and liberal, and the care of your disabled comrades un grudging and ample, depends upon the election of a Republican President in 1S33." Here we have an adroitly disguised slander. Here we have an appeal made to soldiers which embodies a deliberate falsehood. Here we hear General Ben Harrises eaying that to vote for Grover Clveland the fame and honor of those who f jught against the flag is to be exalted abovtf those who fought for it, and that the rewards of the Union soldiers, if a Democrat is elected President, are to be denied, and that their rewards depend upon the election ot a Re publican President, "When General Har riron was expectorating that sort of Repob lican villification upon his Danville audience, he knew all the facts were against him. He knew that if he were under oath and in danger of the penitsntlary.he would be required to tessify that under a Democratic Administration the Union soldiers had been treated better ttrtn uiSf any publican PesiienC General Ben Harrison knew that General Grant, from 1870 to 1377, inclusive, a period of eight years, approved;433 private Tension acts; President Hayes, from 1377 to 131, inclusive, a period of four years, approved 303 private pension acta; Presidents Garfield and Arthur, from 1832 to l.S, inclusive, a period of four years, approvtd 7M pension acts; while President Clevfia&d, from 1336 to 1337, Inclusive, a p?ricd of only two years, approved 63 private pension acts. He knew that ilr. Cleveland approved 77 more private pension acts than Grant and Hayes approved in twelve years, and 127 more than Garfield and Arthur approved in four years. General Harriton knew that President Cleveland had appointed more ex-Union soldiers to office than any other President. He knew that President Cleveland approved the act of March 19, 1836, which increased to $12 per mouth the pension of 79,939 widows, minors and dependent relatives of Union soldiers of the late war. lie approved the act of August 4, 188G, which increased the pension of 10,030 crippled and maimed Union soldiers of the late war. And during the fiscal year ending Jane 30.. 1S37, 112,350 certificates of all classes were issued by the Bureau of Pensions, of which 54,lf4 weie "original," being 5,017 in excesj of tbe hfghest number ever before issued in the history of the bureau. Thea factj wn all well known to General Ben Harrifon wben be made h!s Danville epeeeh, and -Tic, L,m ot . ttartm-1

falsify the records, and reduce him to

level with Foulke. Farther, "it was thought that the splendid record made by the Ba teau of Pensions during the fiscal year 1SS7, could not possibly bs excelled; bat from the present indications the year's work for the fiscal year 1833 will exceed that of 1887. Daring the last fiscal year there were issued 112, 310 certificates, of which 55,194 were orig inal. On the first day of July 13S0, there were upon the rolls 305,783 pensioners of all classes, and the net increase daring the first four months of that year was'.37G3, so that there were upnn the rolls November 1, 13SG. 3ej,5-l. On the first day of July, 1887, there were upon the rolls 400.007 pensioners of all clases, and the net increase daring the first four months of the present fircalyear h s been 10,641, making the rolls stand November 1. 1337, 416,613, so that the net increase to the rolls for the first four month? of the present fiscal year is ß.873 in excess of the net Increase for a corresponding period of the last fiscal year. DEATH OF JUDGE DENNY. A Stroke of Paralysis Causes Iii Sudden Demise at Viticennes. ViNCursts. Ind.. December 5. f3peclal.1 Judge James C. Ueany, of Indianapolis, died this morning or paralysis, at the residence of his moUieria this city, la 1-C2 he was elected Attorney-ueneral of tte bUte oa the Keptiblicn ticket. The deceased was born uear Bruceville, Kuox county, ia 1S?J. His wife, two sons and a daughter survive him. Judge Denny's death, though very sud den, was not altogether surprising to his many friends in this city. Some weeks ago he was very sick as a result of what appeared to be a slight attack of apoplsiy. He went to Vincennes last week, accompanied by his wife, intending to Bpend the winter at his old home. The deceased prac ticed law in the Knox Circuit from his early manhood until his election to the Attorney-Generalship, fifteen years ago. but since that time, with the exception of one year, he bad been a citizen Of Indiana polis. The office was exceedinglr prosper ous during his term, but subsequently re verses came, and he was placed in reduced circumstances. In 1376 he was employed by the Republican National Commutes to act as counsel for the party at the seesioi of the Klectoral Commission in Louisiana. Of late years he has pursued his profession, and was a partner of James M. Lropsey. A married daughter lives in this citv; his sod, Frank, Is a Lieutenant in the United States Navy, and his -other son, E J ward, is connected with a dramatic company now playing In the northwest. MINISTER DENBY'S CHANCES. Ilia File mis Pushing Ulm for the Demo cratic Second Place. Ey Tclemph to the Post-Dispatch. EvAKsriLLK, Ind., December 3 The prospective candidacy of Colonel Charles Denby, our Cbines Minister, for the sec ond place on ths Democratic ticket next -ear, has created Quite a sensation in the !ate, and especially in this city, the home of the distinguished diplomat. The views of Minister Denby are not fully known. but his political friends have been indus trious in his behalf since the prospect o uniting upon either Voorhees or Gray ha become impracticable and impossible. It is given out this evening that a brisk can va&s will be inauguratsd by the friends ol Colonel Denby, and they have confidence of controlling the delegation from this State, which will necessarily have a strong ir. licence in the .National Convention. The views of Minister Denby upon the tariS, silver and the disposition of the surplus are in thorough accord with the Western Democraey, which renders him all the more available as a candidate for the ViC3 Presidency. Omaha VTanta it, Too. Chicago, December 4. The Omaha com mittee to secure, if possible, the Republi can National Convention for Omaha, left here xor Washington this evening. The committee is composed of the following: Governor Thayer, George D. Meiklejohn, Speaker of the lastS'ate Senate; ex-Con gressman alentine, Eiitors Gere, of the Lincoln State Journal, Hitchcock, of the Omaha World, Taylor, of the Omaha Republican, Rosewater, of the Omaha Bee, ex-Mayor Boyd, ex-Gorgressman Crounse acd Colonel Sapp, of Council BIufTj. Besides tbf se peiitlenieD, there are in Washington a Nebraska delegation and a num ber cf other prominent men workine for the eame end. Omaha has raised fiiO.OOO as a convention fund, and is willing to make it more. AVaot the National Convention. Minneapolis, December 1. The delegition of Minneapolis and Dakota Rspublicans, organized to nave toe next Kepublican National convention heid at Minneapolis, left for Washington this evening by special train. The special will make a quick run to Chicago, arriving in that city at t):30 to-morrow moraine. The delega tion Is made up of about fifty prominent citizens of Minnesota and Dakota. Upon its arrival at Washington, the party will b met by General W. D. Washburn, Hon. Wilhani Windom, Thomas Lowry, R. B. L8Egdon, Colonel W. S. King and Colonel Charles W. Johnson, who are already there acd will remain until after the meeting cf the National committee. Typhoid Fever in Ice. NEW YORK, December 5. The Sun this morning prints a long article on the ice consumed by New York and Brooklyn, which is mainly cut from the Hudson river. Dr. Prudden, after a careful analyses of the ice, says: ''Typhoid fever and poseibly cholera might easily spread among the consumers of the ice which is formed on the Hudson." He finds that on the average a pint of the melted Ice contains about 500,000 living bacteria of various kinds. "It is Certain," continues Dr. Prudden, "that the ice fforn tome pirtscfthe river must contain the bastria of typhoid fever, and that these may be taken into the system with ice water in a living condi-tion." Crime In Arizona. PRESCOTT, Arizona December 4.-- The Grand Jury has returned indictments against Ed and James Tewksbury and Tom Graham, the principals in the recent verdetta in Tonto Basin in the eastern part of this county, and also indicted eleven others on both sides. Ed. and Tom, formerly Superintendent of the Prescott and Arizona Central Railroad, arrested for appropriating a barrel of apples, plead guilty to the charge of burglary in the second degree. The oflense may be one to five years. Kndrd Iiis Sufferings. MILES CITY, Mont, Dec. 4. --A young man named Branson, engaged in teaming, hauling lumber from a mill on Tongue river, above Cheyenne reservation, was driving a loaded wagon, walking beside it on a rough road when the wagon tipped. Eadeavoring to save the load, the young man was crushed ander it as it overturnel. When discovered there were unmistakable signs of his having taken his own life to end his sufferings, as a long whip lash was firmiy knotted about his throat. He must have died of strangulation. Blew Out Hli Bratoa. Pitts Br bo, December 4. This morning, while in a fit of delirium from diphtheria. Frank M. Whitmore, a prominent young business man, blew his brains out with a mot-gun, wnica n naa taken from a ÄÄ? ".-f

BURDETTE'S CORNER

Clever Conceits That Will Hikt Merriment ni Liagtiter. Sports That Killl Home Rulers Cml Sarries Eolss. Eemy Wiri Bseoher'i Siocessar it PljmoaUi Cimrca Pi&tform. A Persecutor of the Criminal Classes A Society Busher Poverty aad ProCress Profit and Loss. (Copyrighted, 13S7.) 8rORT8 THAT KILL." "Football is a dangerous game," said Rollo's father, solemnly. "Young Limberlegs played only one season, and it broke him all up." "That's nothing," said Rollo. "1 beard Uncle George say that Parson Weakway played only part of a game of three-card monte and it broke the whole church up." HOME P.CLERS. "Yee, sir," shouted Mr. Badman, shaking his list aloft, "I avow it. I am au Anarchist! Down with the law! Away with the courts! Up with therei lias! I will place a iomb under Social Order! Djwn with our rulers! I have no ruler, not I! 1 am " "John Badman' shrieked a thinly clad voice from an upper wndow, "if you aren't up-stairs with that coal in just twenty seconds I'll drop a bsmb down your back when you do come! Are you coming?" Even as she spoke he was tbere, saying that be had just Stöppel a minute to tell the milkman to bring her a new Astrakhan wrap and a turkey dinner. VNDXR THE CIVIL SERTTCX BCLKS. "What is this, waiter?" asked the fearful guest, tasting his breakfast with an air of curiosity, "eome preparation of chicken?" "No, sir," said the waiter, surprised, "that is fish." "Fish? Ah, yes," said the guest, with a cheerful air of reassurance, and eating more boldly, "fish, to be sure. Delicious! Mountain trout?" "No, sir," said the waiter, "just mackerel; salt mackerel, sir. New kit just opened. Are you up here selling goods, sir?" "Oh, no " re plied the gufst. "I am the Fish Commissioner, cent here by the Government to stock jour streams with edible hsh." THE HAIR APPARENT. "Have you met the foreign represent tives of the International Arbitration ConeresB?'' asked the reporter. "Not yet," replied Sitting Ball, lifting his foot from the treadle of the grindstone while he tried the edge of his double-bitted tomahawk on his thumb-nail; "not yet, but I am expecting them. My young men inform me that our collection of curiosities in human hair is Bhockingly deficient in the foreign department, and I am anxious, for the sake of the Institute, to By the way, didn't I cbEervo a marked German accent in your vo'.ce while speaking?" But the reporter, whoEe name was Ludwig Aufscheikf r, of the Zeitung, could but barely be discerned far up the echoing canon, a disappearing speck in the far reaching perspective. THAT'S NAT EXACTLY THE P.EASON. Rev. Charles A. Berry, Mr. Beecher's successor, is highly commended, for the Plymouth pulpit, because "he organized a great work among the colliers and foundrymen." Ob, well, he will be at home then, in that is, he won't find any change in coming he will at once, you see. find himself among er er well, in the Brooklyn rolleries, you understand. Mr. Berry will find er ah well, why should his cal liery and foundry work fit him so espe cially for Plymoutn pulpit, or why Well he's all right, Let'er go Riley; Gallagher' dead. HUNTING FOR A BATTLE FIELD. "What are your politics, Mr. Hotspur?" "Well, sometimes I'm blessed if I hardly know. I am a Republican, a red hot Republican, voted for Fremont, Lincoln, Grant, Garfield and Blaine; but when I lay myself out for a red-hot discussion with my neighbor Spitfire, who is a poison Democrat, and voted for Buchanan, Breckinridge. Seymour and Tilden, I find that we are both high-tariff protection! it?, civil service reformers, Prohibitionists, and Grand Army men. I can't understand it, ard I don't like it. I'd like to be something that Spitfire isn't, so as to enjoy a little lively discussion now and then. What's the matter with politics in these days anyhow?" too ir.EEorLAn. "If men voted as they pray," said a Prohibition orator, "the Prohibitionists ould elect the next President of the United States." Oh, come off, thou reservoir. If men voted as they pray some men would spend their lives in the penitentiary for repeating, while others would never cast a vote in all their lives, aud Others again would do all their voting during babyhood. Vote a3 they p ray, indted! A PAGE OF PIOGRAPHV. Yankee Sullivan, tbe pugilist, used to drink erom fifty to eighty corkers of whiskey every day. When he was put in jail, which was, by the way. far too good a place for him, the sudden stoppage of his whisky so depressed him that he cut his throat and died, a victim of involuntary reform. The wonder is that a throat sd overworked as his wasn't worn out long before. It was just as well that he cut the weary old swallowing thing, as the vigilance committee had about deciea to 6trf tcb, ', rot necessarily with a Tl adding to Mr. Sullivan's pleasure as his dally procession of drinks went gargling down nis elongated neck, but as a guarantee of their good faith when they declared their belief that the town of Sau Francisco could along without him. A TRUE TACT. Is the willow a native of this country?'' atks Rollo. "Ob, no,"Teplied his Uncle George. "Where did all our willows come from, then?" "From Napoleon's grave in St. Heleca," replied Uncle George, with t2? positive air of an historian; "every last willow in America came from Napoleon's grave." And Rollo wondered why the Bonaparte family didn't keep out of politics and go into the nursery business. THAT'S riil WAF WK KILL TIGERS. A writer in Onllng says that grizzly bears are big, cowardly brutes, and he has killed many of them, yet not one of them tnrned on him. Huh; yes. Anybody can kill a grizzly bear in a magazine. It will be mighty rough on the grizzlies if tbe "war paper" craze gets into tb sporting papers. Tbe poor bears wont be able to tell their side of the fight. AT LA-ERBE APR. Wrathful guest, waiting for his baggage, howls from his room: "Porter! porter!" Calm landlord: "No porter here; this is a temperence house!" TO VERIFY THE PROPIIKCIE.S. "Have you never visited Washington, Mrs. eiatjue'."' "No, I have often w thed I conlii do ro, bat have never had time, ard have lived all. my days iu 111ir eis However, when 1 have finished my rew beck, a novel on 'Life and Society in WtaMrjgtpr ' a&d t it ioto ths publisher's hai.cle, I an going there for a rest aud ree what tue people do, and how they livr tLere." A 80CIETT RUDIIIR. "That's old Callboard'a daughter," said Yale, as tbe wait re rs swept by; "she's a ttuaniog dresser, but, ph. has, A (jwJal

temper. She's, a kicker." "Ah," said

Harvard, glancing at the display of shoulder-blades and dorsal vertebra, "looks like a fuU back." EAST LES605S IK PRACTICAL rXtAHCZ. "I see the papers say that Jay Gould loit fso.OOO on the street the other day." "Doesn't he know where he lost itr "Oh, yes." "Why doesn't he go there and look for it, then?" "Oh.no; when that kind of a man leses anything he always goes somewhere else and looks for iL" "And does he find it there?" "H'm! Well, he usually finds some just like it." "And as much of it?" "More." POVERTY AND PMKSBKSR. "Did you make out pretty well in Arizona, Mr. Lightweight?" "Yes, I mads my way out of the country as fast as a muie could carry me." "Ah yes, I see; walked out ?" PBOKIT AND LOSS. Mr. Isenstein My frent, I want ta soldt you dose pants because off 1 do lose money on dem, I gain a gustomer; you mindt dot. No. dose vas fife-dollah pants, bud I charch you yoost der same as dem sefen-dollah one marked eight unit a kevarter six dollah! You dook dem pants? I dought eo. Marcus, six dwentyfife out of ten. Give de chentlemaa a calendar. FINER THAN SILK. A writer says: "Servants must remember that even good housekeeping is not one of the fine arts, but merely an occupation, a trade, if you please." Then must servants rtsj&fcoioer something nobody ehe ever knew. If keeping a honse weil furnished, swept, and garnished, fires lighted and lamps trimmed and burning, liuenrooiu full and larder stocked, three meals daily, well cooked and on time, on $15 a week, isn't a fire art if it isn't a finer art than fiddling or painting, then are we ready to dreg tie unhallowed bones of Mickel Angelo from their unurned ret, and turn in tht cows to browse over the dust of Paganini. Good housekeeping is tb finest art known to modern civilizaioii next to splitting gold-leaf. it's winter stern. Kuw fades the ice-cream parlor ou tbe ear, And all the R-th the solemn oystsr hoM; While everybody sneezes, far and near. With various kinds o inllueunal colds.; Where erst the mooning maid and loverstryed. Or lingered ou the fark beach, site by sighed; Now, clad In Kan nek blankets, man and m.d. tio shrieking down tbeslick tobo.end sli ie. ROI.ERT J. Bl'EI'KTTH. HERE AND THERE. Boston Poet: The will of the peop must always be admitted to probate. ßDrliDgton Free Press: We pitv deaf persons. They have to have a great many close calls. A troupe of Persian female dancers, the beet ever seea in Teheran, are now en route to Paris. New Haven News: A righter of wrongs is, as a rule, even more poorly paid than a writer of poetry. Harper's Bazar: When a girl is little she has a doll baby ; when she grows up she has a dolman.j Lord Eversley, aged '.3, recently shot eight head of game, including a brace and a half of partridges and a brace of pheasants. The Epoch: Presence of mind is well enough in some cases, but when a man finds himself in danger of freezing to death he shouldn't try to keep too cool. Earper's Bazar: Mrs. Nouveau (to departing guest)-Gjod night, Mr. Auur. I had begun to think you had gone and that we had missed the pleasure of saying good bye to you. The first translation into English of a Hebrew novel will shortly appear. France first discovered that'there were Hebrew novels worth translating, and ha3 had them for eome years. One thousand two hundred and forty divorces were granted in France in 1SS5, the first year of the existence of the divorce law in France. It must be understood, though, that in many cases it was a transformation of decrees of separation into those of divorce. Tbe last twelve months produce Parisians divorced, the most beirg in the rich quarters. An Orange Heights, Fla., woman turned her horse out in the pasture the other atternooD, and was looking at it as it fed, when it disappeared right before her eyes. When she reached the place where the animal had stood she found that the earth had sunk eight feet from the surface. The horse was got out none the worse for tbe adventure, but why the earth, gave way has not yet been explained. A remarkable specimen of graveyard taste has just been received in Menosha, destined for the cemetery there; It is a sixteen-ton stone in the form of a tree, with birds and equirrels in its branches, ferns at its base, also a large cross, a pot of stone fioweis, an open book aud a roll of music. By semj oversight the cabinet organ was omitted. The stone was made for the gTave ot a young woman. KTeddy Wicks, a London barber, who recently bet $75 that he could shave fifty pereons in sixty minutes, succeeded in shaving seventy-three in fiity-nine minutes and fifty-seven seconds. He went over the faces of twenty -one in the first fifteen minutes, fourteen in tli9 second quarter, nineteen in the third, and twentythree in the last. Now another barber wants to bet that he can beat this record. Two well diggers in Washington township. Ia., found at a depth of fourteen fei while walnuts (hickory nuts) well preserved, and as they dug down collected about half a bushel. Then they came upon a log of wood and a pair of deer's horns, which were soft, but soon hardened. Tbe well was dag in a timbered country, bnt there is pot a hickory tree ia taa coty. A few weeks ago a WQm&o at El Ryi' Micb., sold to a ragman a rebel fla'that Lad Lted f n her garret for twenty years. 6he didnt know what it was. The peddler took it to a neighboring town and exhibited it. It was eighty feet long and bore the word Nashville," and is taought to have belonged to the blockade runner of that name, f he peddler offered to sell it lor 5, but there were no buyers. A North CaroliniaD, recently returned from Japan, Fay that in a few years the Japanese will be the greatest railroad builders in the world, lie bases his j ad?ment on the fact that the Japanese are great patrons of railroads. V.ven when they have no business to transact they ride tack and forth on the cars until their money I gone, even thbggar8 in tue large town spending their rnoney in this curious way. "Wanted Lodging by a B. A. AdVertiter wishes it clearly understood that none need apply who object on principle to f ill in with his not excessive requirements, which iiiclnde 1st, punctuality in serving meals; d, moderate quiet in house; ö J, dry toast thrice daily : 4th, joints to be rob&ted (not baked), and chops and steaks to be grilled (not fried); 5th, the free use of a latch key ; and Gih, the absence ot a cat." This advertisement appeared ia a country newspaper in England. The Dallas Times doesn't like the theology of the cowhoy evangelist who is wrestling with the Texas sinners, and takes hiui to task for sayic that ' üell is full cf Carapbellites and Methodis s." It says: "Come out of that, cowboy ! Come up out of the depths of such barbarism! Preach good will; preacn love; preach hope! Put away th .instruments of tortore; fill up your awful chasm of everburning fire!" Hash the shrieks of lost sr.u Is, and lullaby into quiet the moaas of tbe damned. Preach htaven; preach that Iheieis a place where preachers, cowboys, Csmpbellites, Methodists, Baptists," all may reach if fbe great and pleasant rrtal of justice and love and fair play to man la allowed tier Qa earth,';

emorrhages. Bleeding from thft Lnagi, Stomach Vce, Mvfjoui any cans? is speedily coo troUeuVinit stopped. , Sores, Ulcers, Wounds?' Sprains and Bruises-' It is cooling, cleansing and Healing. f,oforrV i1'- aORt rfnesriona for thU 13Wild I I lit CR6e. Cold in the Head. &c. Our "Catarrh Cure," is specify prepared to meet serious canes. Our N av al Syringe is eiuiple and incspensivJl ' Rheumatism, Neuralgia. Ko other preparation 'Una outJj mor cases of these distresnin oumpldnts than" the Extract. Our lltrr is inTluAble iu those diseases, Lumbago, i'aiua ia Hack or bide, &c i Diphtheria & Sore Throat; Lse the Extract promptly. Ueiay ia daaPiles. Blind. Deeding or Itrliln. Is f is the ereatet known remedv : rannl! mniipwiieu oilier medicines have tnueOU Our Ointutrtit is nf great K'rvii-e where, the removal of clothing is iucouvoaieat. For Broken Breast and Sore Kipples. KSfs used Th Kitra.cc will neTer be without it. Our Ointment id the best mollieui that can be applied. Female Complaints. lnÄym female diseases tbo Extract can be iwd,' as is well known, ith the greatest beuetii. Full directions aecouipaiw each boUto. J CAUTION. Pond's Extract Sä 'Äi the words " I'oml'a Extract" blown la the g'iiiss. aüd our picture trado-mark oa eurrounhur bul wr.ipjKr. None other U pemune. Always insist ou bavini; I'oad's Extract. Take 1 other preparation ii is never sold trt bulk, ur lj mmure. , Sold everpi here, Prices, 50e, 1, tl.75 Trepared only liy PODS EXTRACT CO., XZY YOi;iI AXD THE HOUSE JOURNAL, CLERK A Little Incitement Cansed by tbe Ap, pointment of an Indiana Man. Washington, December C The principal topic of conversation this morning among members on the door of the House was the change made last evening by Clerk: Clark in the office of Journal Clerk. John C. Kobert8on, who was appointed to succeed Mr. Smith as Journal Clerk, took the oath of oflice this morning, uni. after a consultation with his predecessor, began at once the discharge of his duties. He is from Indianapolis, was formerly a Judge of the Indiana Circuit Court, and held for a time the position of Journal Clerk to the State Senate. It is rumored that Mr. Smith will make a fight for re-instatement, and that a Michigan Democrat member will otler a resolution providing for au inquiry into the vague statements that have been made to the effect that the change was the result of a pronrse by the Indiana Democrats to support the Clerk of the House in his candidacy for re-election if the office cf Journal Clerk was given to an Indiana,man, and that Don M. Dickinson had demanded Smith's removal. When Mr. Clark, the clerk of the House, was spoken to on the subject this morning he declared positively that Mr. Dickinson had not communicated in any way with him in regard to the matter. He had intended to make tbe change last session, he said, but had deferred action for various reasons. No member of the Indiana delegation had been contulted upon the appointment or knew of his intention to make a charge ave Representative Matson, who bad been requested to furnish some information concerning Mr. Ii bertson's record. Mr, Clark denied in the strongest terms that there had been any understanding between himself and the Indiana delegation relative to his candidacy for the office of clerk. In all ot these statements he was corroborated by Representative Holman and other Indiana Democratic representatives. Waehiucton News Notes. Washington, December 6. The Senate 8ub-committee on Undervaluations of Imports promise to report a bill before tb holiday recess, but Bothingcan be learned of its provisions in advance. It is sail to embody quite a revolution in tbe customs machinery, and there are intimations that it will be likely to excite the foraiidtble opposition of tue lawyer clas for the reasons that it disnouras, in fact abilines, a prolific and profitable source ol litigation. The Evening Star has the following: "Mr. Micbal, Compiler of the Congressional Directory, this morning called upon Speaker Carlisle and inquired as to wben the committees would probably be ready for announcement. The Speaker replied that he now hoped to have them ready before the holiday recess. The Speaker has conferred with leading members of the House on the subject, and unless there shall be too much of a scramble for good places, the committees will be made up before holiday adjournment." The Inter state Commission to-day gav a hearing in the case of Riddle, Dean t Co., who complained that the Pittsburg and Lake Erie Railroad Company operating the Pittsburg, McKeesport aad Y'oughkgheny Railroad, had Y;olated the third sec tion of the Inter-State law in falling to furnish each coal mine on the road with an equal proportion of cars, and in giving trefeience to the coke trade. The railroad wmväZY denies that any such prefereace was given, and esjs that the trouble arose from a general shortage of car?, A Wolf in Chicago. Chicago, December 6. As John Steller'a night watchman was returning home at an early hour this morning he was met at the gate by a strange looking animal that he took to be a dog. Not being the possessor of a (canine, and not being desirous of making any such accession to his household at present, he seized a well developed club, that hapened to be convenient, and hurled it at the new comer's head. The animal dissapered and Mr. Steller entered his house, only to bs called out Ehcnly afCr by the cry of "wolf." The animal that had met Mr. Steiler at the gate had returned to bis doorstep. A iively Cii8i3 ensued, which resulted in thecaptnte of the wolf. He was a young one, dark grey with thaV hair and alert ears. Iiis appetite, which is his distlaguishiag cheTRCteristic, is BcmetMng rernsrkable. Not being satisfied with thelblood of a cow, he introduced an incision into Mr. Seller, and drtrak briefly of that gentleman's lif tu-rent, bat was finally secured with a chRin, The wolf was bound with burr to e which h2 promptly severed with his sbwp teeth. , Train Kobler Judged. a Ix. Lous, December 6. Frank Kleine, tb- chief of the gang of train robners who went through a train Dear Little Kck. four j ears ago on the Little Rjck and Toiai KailroEd, ws arrested near Muskogea, I. T., by two Indian police, and taten tt Fort Smith, where be was yesterday turne t over to Sheriff Wortnea. Kleiue'a reil name is Kounize II juiun. H esta he hat been hunted ami iiuuiit'1 f'f f 'ir ff ar of his U. and now greatly relieve J. Deput) Uniied 8 ates Mruti A. Ui -r-reated Jubepb. Wriot at El r, Tex a, yesterday, charging hhn with bem accceeory to the Arizona trin robberies This is said to be the last cf ths gang. Wright claims to be innocent ot tho crista.

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