Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 31, Number 36, Indianapolis, Marion County, 7 October 1885 — Page 3

THE INDIANA STATE SENTINEL, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7 I8S3.V

3

AN INDIAN IN INDIANA.

BY J. F. MII.LER. 'Tis fustian all, 'tis execrably b.i 1: lut if they will be lools must you be mad?" Prydea. I was just entering the postoftiee at Solon yesterday when the mail wagon from Charleston rattled up to the door, carrying a single passenger. He was a well dressed, finely appearing man, and as he came near to me with his quick, nervous, springing step, I rwognizetl that prince ot goo l fellows, General John McIonalil. "What brings you here to tins quiet neighborhood," I eiclaimed. "You are invading my jurisdiction." ' I came here," Le replied, "upon the express invitation of the great Hindoo, who is holding the fort on the blurts yonder. Here is the note lie x-nt me in which he s-avs that lie wishes to examine and purchase for his university a dozen copies of the bock written by my great commander, called the Ttr-onal Memors of V. s. Grant,' and also to see a live book agent. He adds in the postscript 1 hat in Persia, noblemen oniy or those of tie b lood royal are permitted to soil books by subscription, and it is a strict law of the country that a book agent there can only solit it a citizen or citizenes in the following manner: The agent hands the party the sample and the subscription list, with price attixed. without uttering a word. If the party desires to subscribe, he records his name on the list and pays the money. If he does not, he returns the book and "the list without comment. Three minuteä only are allowed by law at each interview. If the agent opens his mouth or stays beyond the three minutes, lie sutlers death by a process similar to the Japanese harikari. 1'rofessor (. hum has heard of my wonderful success in so delighting and entertaining those whom I 'solicit that they take no note of time, and he wants me to" become general agent for Grant's book in Persia and India also, promising to get a special dispensation for me, to enable me to exemplify the groat American soliciting plan whereby a man has to bin' a book to get rid of an agent, and mv plan, the very opposite of that, of so pleasing the man or woman that he or she will invariably bu the book in order to keep me longer in conversation with them." Hy this time we had reached the villa, and Professor Chum, after saluting the General in the Oriental style, exclaimed: "I welcome to the Stone K'-rt, the groat McDonald, the book agent of "xxk agents, who is renowned in Persia as the-silver tongued, magnetic, subscription seducing and irrcsitible talker. Jn my Persian 'Child's Fourth .Reader,' now in its loOlst edition, under the title of 'hiving Notables of Americi,' I have recorded, 'tieneral John McDonald, expose of the whisky ring. He recruited, uniformed snd equipped the first loyal regiment raised in a rebel State. He is the only book agent io America to whom one can n"t say no.' " I thought the General would never get through blushing, but lie looked down at his subscription sample and regained courage and soon rallied. He waved Iiis right hand eloquently and said. "This Grant book of I rant's was written wholly by himself. Padean did not write a line of it and Parson Newman wasn't even allowed to see it. The style tells the tale." "How do you knw?,' I asked. "Why you can easily tell," he answered, "by comparing the words and phrases of this book with Grant's letters and disjatches. They are all written in the clear, compact, terse, West Point style." "Yes," said the Professor, "and that is the very first test we were going to apply to Shakespeare to-day. The chief trouble however is that the son of John Shakspeare never wrote enough to furnish much of a standard of comjarison. However taking what his admirers claim to be his, as an example, we will try McDonald's suggestion. Here is one of Shakespeare's rhymes on the authority oi John Jordan. " WHOM HAVE I DKfNKF.N WITH. "Fipirig Pehworth, dancing Marston, Haunted Hillsborough and hungry Grafton; With dancing Exhall, Papist Wixtord, 'Beggarly Bloom and drunken Bidford." That poetry will hardly come up to the effusion of "Tittlebat Titmouse," which appears in "Ten Thousand a Year." -Titlebat Titmouse is my name,' England is my nation, London is my dwelling place "And Christ is my salvation." Here is another specimen of real Shakespeare poetry on the authority of Stratford local tradition, "DAVID ASO GOLIATH." "Goliath comes with sword and spear," And David with a sling; Although Goliath rage and swear lxwn David doth aim bring." . If there is anything in, your English or American MothenGoose's Melodies to excel that, I have not seen it. Then here is an epitaph on John C'omb; taken from the Ashmolean M. S. "Ten Jn the hnndred lies here engraved ; Tis a hundred to ten his soul is not saved; If any one asks, Who lives in this tomb? JIo, lioitioth the devil, tis my John A. Combe." And I have found another epitaph on Toni-A-Combe, quoted on the authority of Peck in his "Memoirs of Milton." "Thin in beard and thick in purse, Never man beloved worse; Me went to the grave with many a curse. The devil and lie had both one nurse." I will quote one mere epitaph, on Sir Thomas Stanley, taken from Dugdale's Visitation bo:k. "Ask who lies here, but do not weep;" He is not dead, he doth but sleep; This stony register is for his bones His tame is more perpetual than these stones." "Yon recol.ee t,Oeneral McDonald. those famous lines of Pollin M. Squire, in honor of General Grant, which were posted before an admiring but critical pnb'c in a conspicuous place at the City Hall, in New York City which public outcry compelled the Mayor to have taken down before Grant's funeral. Kverybody said that there wasn't any poetry in oor Squire's lines, and yet that same everybody and all the New York newspapers would have called that poetry excellent, sublime, magnificent, and very appropriate, if Squire's had only pretended that it was the work of Shakspeare. The truth is that Squire'd ridiculous stuff was infinitely superior to the Shakspearian fragments, which I Lave quoted. What can any roan bring in all the realm of English literature of undisputed Shakspearean production that can stand the test of confusion with Hamlet or Othello? Are there no scraps no letters, no fragments, no books with his name written in them, no manuscripts of this so called child of nature? How does it happen that Shakspeare. the son of an ignoramus and the father of an ignoramus, a man without learning or habit. of study, could be credited with the authorship of these great plays, unless the people like to be deieivel arid to believe in lies?" Well," said the General, as we rose to go, "I think that your education theory is Correct. Facts are very stubborn things. In all my life I have never yet seen a man who, without any education and training in the ancient languages, can quote Latin and Greek, as pat as a college Professor, and as you say Fhakspeare had little or no education, he Las obtained a reputation which he is not entitled to and the ieople for several centuries have been pretty well fooled by the publishers and the commentators. It is strange to me that Englishmen of learning do not investigate the matter more closely and in a painstaking critical manner." "If Shakespeare was not the author of the great'plays which bear his name, why don't they iina ont the genuine poet? The real author mu3t have written other books and if they can be found end pnblished by .übsription, I could sell them like hot cakes. Ity the way while I am here, I shall go down S C'Lajlcsivwa lading qn-j huat up the

MePonalda or M-T"anie! wir." eü.M thr-

1 in early times. T.'.ey in ly . be the o I stock." i .1 tLrn 1 a nr.."! T t. '.- t n r !v ave th? rrcicssor. SENTINELS. Kotesand Items Captured on the Skirmish Line. I injurious Jumbo dead and stuffed for show, Might still suffice to make a ciren go. Lite. It will take three months and $2,0'0 to mount Jumbo. His I-ist I:is:ruct!on. A wine merchant at death's door said to his son : -'Jtemember that you can make wine out of almost anythingeven out of grapes!" Charivari. A Keripe for an. Aristocratic Stew. Take an American girl, one part; imj-ecunious nobleman, one part; desire for title, f artynine parts; desire for wealth, forty-nine parts. Mix. Jkston Beacon. In a procession at New Strclitz, Gorniny, a few days ago the tradesmen of the guilds wore caps of bright tin,- some shared like tincups. some like kettle, others like saucepans, and still others like bathtubs, each grotesque helmet glittering in the sua so gayly as to present a glorious sight. Sockabesin Swassin is said to he the richest Indian in Maine. He is the handsomest man on the island of Oidtown, and one of the most intelligent. He is a lineal descendant of the P.aron de Chastine. There are many educated Indians on that island, and they live very like their white neighbors. "Why the engagement was broben. "And, dearest Augutu-, when we are married you will give me all the pin money I want, won't you, darling?" "Yes, duckie. you shall buy äll the pins you can use." "Oh, deary, that's so nice of yo'u. There's a beautiful diamond ? in down at the jeweler's that I've wanted or ever v long.' Troy Times. Practicing medicine in New Jersey. "What are those peculiardooklng animals you have in that glass case, Ooctor?'' a gentleman asked aXew Jersey physician. '"Those are Pahway mosquitoes." "Is it possible! I never saw mosquitoes so large before. Bat what do you keep them for?" "As a substitute for leeches. They cost less." Life. The over-fihin? of the last fifteen or twenty vertifJ'earls what it long ago did for oy-tor. 1 ushion also bears its part in raising prices, and a good set of three black pearl shirt stiuls can not now be got wholesale much under $2). Pour years ago they could be had for less than a third of 'the price. "The traveler who would obtain a correct impression of the United States," writes Alexander Pel Mar in the Pall Mall Gazette, "should not stop in New York, which is no more an American city than St. Petersburg is a Russian one. He should push on at once to the great West. The United States is essentially an agricultural country." There is a negro boy in Marietta who can catch bees, yellow-jackets and bumblebees the same as any one else would catch Hies, and they no not sting him. He often catches a bee and puts it in his mouth and keeps it there for some time. When lie spits it out it rliesofl". Live yellow-jackets put under his clothes crawl around and out at other places without stinging him. Another of those famous old persons who eppear every now and then stepped into the Pension Office at Philadelphia the other day and astonished General Davis. Her name was Mrs. Pierce, and she resides at Purlington, N. J. Her ige is ninety-eight. She walked up stairs into the second floor of the new J'ostoftice building and signed her name to the receipt without the aid of eyeglasses. A kind-hearted man in Atlanta, noticing a curious attachment between a child and a toad, thought to amuse the child by getting him some intelligent toads. His advertisement in the morning paper for two dozen toads brought to his door a continual stream of toad merchants lasting for two whole days, and offering him toads by the hundred, in bags, sackSj baskets, buckets arid pails. His kindness in the toad line is now ternjered by discretion. Fragrant clover grows on the grave of Thomas Carlyle, at Pcclefechan, and on the plain sandstone slab is this inscription: H C.MIl.t ATF. iCoat of Arm. i Here rests Thomas Carlyle. who was born at tiefet an. 4th December. 17'.", and died at 21 Cheyue Koad. rhelsea, London, on Saturday, Oth February, Ml. Father Ponomi describes the "False Trophet" as a man of towering stature, with a fat, round face, and hard, unquailing eyes unquestionably a fanatic, honestly behevin his misrion to restore the pure Islam. He prohibited sinping, except in honor of the Prophet, and also smoking, and transgressors of these edicts were punished with 100 stripes from a whip of hippopotamus hide. A first thief was punished with the loss of the right hand and the second with that of the left foot. Father Bonomi says that he saw several of those cruel amputations for petty offenses. The Tall Mall Gazette says that a young gentleman of Leicester decided to go to California and learn fruit farming. He fell in with a circular of a seemingly respectable London firm, offering to place gentlemen's sons a pupils on farms round Los Angeles. The terms were $100, Jn consideration of which the pupil was to be taken to a farm, boarded, and taught fruit-growing in all its branches, and receive $0 a month for three or six months. The $100 was paid, but there was no agent to met the young man at Los Angeles. The latter, having fortunately found the agent's address, applied to him for the fulfilment of the contract, but wa? derisively dismissed. The Yonng Men's Christian Association took the case up and compelled the agent to fulfil the contract. "A jewel in a swine's snout" is a traveler's term descriptive of the town of Albany, in Australia. It is; an oasis in a big desert. Indeed, it owes its very existence to the fact that it is the southwestern corner of Australia, having no neighbor nearer across the sea than Brazil in one direction and in the other the South oIe. Vessels passing to and fro between Knglandand the other Australian colonies must sight the the entrance of King Goorge's Sound, and every year an increasing number find their way through the sound into the land-locked waters of Princess Iloyal Harbor and cast anchor before

Albany. Hie harbor is lined with luxuriant preen, the crass are of white granite, the bouses look like angel's cabins, and the sea is of turquoise. The owls in Xew Zealand used to be as harmless as doves; indeed, they once were "mousing owls," and, therefore, useful. Bat one night a settler left a sheepskin nailed to hi3 roof, and an owl came along and tasted of the fat mutton there on. That owl became a sheep-killer, alighthing on a lamb's back three nights latter. Still more strange, all the other owls began to like mutton, and now the New Zealand bird of that speeu-s slays thousands upon thotliaiids of thety, their appetites growing by what they feed on, and their numbers increasing in proportion to their prosperity. They light on the backs of the sheep and tear thepoor beasts with their beaks, going at once down through the carcass to the kidney fat, which to the owls tongue is the daintiest of jnorsds. c

A GIRL'S RETROSPECT.

'1 ho Pniiimer is over. The eason w,i f., i,t at the seaside, yo-i know; Thi imher. ivrlinp, v. a the reason TLut uor.e of u captured a beim. For the men found it cool in the city. And the brokers w ere blue, it was thought. So we lo&t every chance, (what a pity:) And no dashing fc!i"v wus caught. S Maud p.nd Madola and Lillie, Viola. Narcis'-a. and 1, Were left in the shade (diu X silly ? To wait till nest year and to sivh. Kr noiliinp i lonc in the Winter In,t'uu, with pay talk and tine clothes; No Ua i : "My dcir Arv.minta,'' And none is betrayed to propose. but when yen walk out by the water. And nioöiiliirht falls soft on the .höre, Thi primmc-? mamma's pliin.! daughter some uihszuline heart will adore. I hope if we go there nest season, We rirls, hy hr.lf dozens and twelves, Will it iifrniu netd. iu all reason. To jtit simply wait v ith ourselves. Of sir's who were blushing and twenty. W ith j-nine who were near twenty-:ive, Tlier- always were more than plenty, And yet liot a man would arrive. Iow wearily all the bins? Summer We wandered by seashore and tide. And found no available comer A bridegroom, perhaps, with his bride! We would stroll to the depot and sttauier To .e w hat was rarer than pjarls, Lach one a deliberate schemer, Abd lo, a new bevy of girls : The roat and the bats were all wanting, N varment bi fun-ate was seen. Arl some irray-lieaded oM mails were tauutitig I s of it, ( ' ihought It was mean.) Another su-h year would ha awful, For w hat are tine feathers and ulothes, If fate is to make it unlaw ful l or yirls to be furnished with V-aus? The rummer has vanished and faded; The forests are withered anl sere; No lover our hearts has invadel "lis horrid to wait a whole year! HariK-r's Miigrvine. SOCIAL. GOSSIP. So long as it terrifies, hell is needed. After that, it is useless. Persecution has made more hypocrites than it has cured heretics. How feeble is the tie of blood in the veins by the side of love in the heart. Helen Hunt Jackson, The awful elfeets of blue stoekingism is manifest in Boston, whose opulation contains ltS.OOO mora women than men. There is nothing so sweet as duty, an 1 all the best pleasures of life come in the wake ol duties done. Jean lngelow. Knglish ladies now use the Mahdi note paiier and envelope, which is tiery rod m color and is nothing, if not signiticantly able. A religious family of evangelical cics recently advertised in ai teinlenKnglidi religious paper for "a parlor maid who knew her place and feared th? Lord." The old superstion about the pearl, that it brings bad luck as a wedding gilt, seems to have gone over entirely, and now it is said that emeralds and sapphires are the "unfortunate stones to give for bridle presents. The increasing masculinity of Kngll.-h girls is a topic for many Indon essayists. In dress, talk and manner it is the fashion with daughters of wealth and refinement to be as much like their brotheis as decorum will allow. M. Daudet now comes nobly to the front to assist in snashing the antique nonsense about the harmful erl'ects of late suppers, by declaring that he does his best work at night, and is greatly assisted in Iiis literary labors by the best and biggest supers he i-an eat. Dr. Talmage says that no man can be a Christian if his stomach is out of order. "Iteligion itself," he says, "will not keep a man cheerful if he has dyspepsia. A cup of coftee and an egg is no kind of equipment for a day's work. I take three good meals aud eat more on Sunday t han any other day of the week. A curiosity in the way of funeral notices is one latel'"printed in Brooklyn papers. It is published in the columns of notices of deaths, and is in the usual form in every rei?Iect except that it ends with the suggestive sentence: "He has bequeathed to his young Widow 5,000." A kindly worl and a tender tone To only Hod is our virtue known ! They can lift from the dust the abject head, The heart close barred with passion and pride, Will Ming at their knoek iu portal wide, And the hate that bites and the s-'orn that sears Will melt iu the fountain of childliie tears. : What ice-bound beliefs have been broken, What rivers of love have been stirred, By a word iu kindness spoken, 15y only a gentle word. The London World say; ths cost of obtaining the poje's dispensation to the marriage between I'rince "Waldemar of lien mark and Princess Marie of Orleans was 5,0U. Its most important conditions are that the daughters who may be born of the marriage are to be brought up in the Catholic faith, but the sons as Protestants. It is now said that Brighfs disease and other affections of the kidneys are due to the immoderate use of ice water. A physician says when people slaked their thirst with fresh water from a well or pump, kidney disease was virtually unknown. Now, however, the general use of ice-water and the multiplication of soda fountains cause thousands of persons to abruptly shock their internal organs with freezing draughts. A professional bouquet builder gives this instruction: Having collected the llowers to be used on a tray, all the superfluous leaves should be stripped from the stems; and by )lacing the Mowers side by side, yott can easily see the order in which they will be most advantageously displayed in the bouquet. A very pretty style of hand bouquet can be made by taking a small straight stick, not over a quarter of an inch in diameter, tie a string (or a very line wire is better) to the top, and begin by fastening on a few delicate flowers, or one handsome one for the centrepiece, winding the wire about each stem as you add the flowers and leaves to the bouquet. Always place the Mowers with the shortest stems at the top, all those with longer stems being reserved for the base; then finish ofi' the bouquet with a fringe of finely cut foliage. Then cut all the stems evenly, wrap damp cotton wool about them, and cover the steins with paper cut out in pretty lace designs. According to an exchange, "Goaded by jealousy a husband out in Ohio shot a professor of roller skating in the head. The physicians left the bullet where it was imbed Jed, plugged the hole up with a cork, and the professor skates as well and knows as much as ever he did." The physicians tertainly did not understand their business or they would never have plugged the hole. In the British Medical Journal, Dr. Fothergill says that a patient dying of exhaustion is generally dying of starvation. "We sive him beef tea, calf's-foot jelly, alcohols -ltzer, and milk: that is, a small 'quanty of suiar or milk and some fat. But the jelly is the poorest sort of food, and the beef tea a mere stimulant. The lopular belief that beef tea contains 'the very strength of the meat' is a terrible error; it has no food value." A missionary among the Hawaiian islanders, in replying recently to a charge of heathen practices'iirgcd against a numher of native converts, says: "Going back to ancient heathenism is not the danger to which the Hawaiian of to-day are exposed ; the danger to which they are exposed rather being that they will drop down into modern heathenism, and become what the slums of our cities are permanently sensual, vicious and criminal., It seepis that-from the scientific point of view, perfectly clean hands are an impossibility. In the Ciazetta Medica Italian, Dr. 1'orster says that fter the most diligent washings and brushings with soap and water and rinsing with carbolic acid and other disinfectants, the hands remained so impure that npoa touching the. fingen V? StUM

fflatine, micro-organisms were rapidly developed. The doctor found, indeed, that on rinsing the hands with a solution of 1 to V of corrosive sublimate they became scientifically cleansed" for the time, but tLat upon wiping them upon a towel not previously disinfected, they return to their sad condition of uncleanliness. The Message of the Rose. Since on my suit, alas! My lady sweet doth frown, 1 lay where fchc miy psss, A wiid rose down. iet first, lest it shov.id trieve, Thus to be place! so low, Into its heart I breathe AH my heart's woe. Iter nature is so sweet, Save ouly unto me, Even her little feet Will not wound thee. Where thine own color glinvs Warm on her dainty cheek, She'll lift thee, hnppy roe! Then dear rose, tpe&k! 'My intercessor be, And in her tiny ear Whisper, "lie loveth thee. Who !ent me, dear!' " Child and Mother. Children are w'hat the mothers are. No fondev fatlr's fondest eare Can fashion so the infant heart As thoe creative beams that lart, W ith ail their hopes and fears, upon 1 he cradle of a sleeping son. His startled eyes with wonder see A father near him on his knee, Who wishes all the while to trace The mother iu the future face; but 'tis to her alone uprise Iii wakening arms; to her those eyes Open with joy and not surprise. Walter Savage Landor.

Little Sermons. I-et frieiulship gently creep to a height; if it rush to it, it may soon run itself out of breath. It is no help to a sailor to see a flash of lifrht across a daVknoss, if he does not instantlv steer accordingly. In studying character, do nt be blinl to the shoitonnings of a warm friend or the virtues of a bitter enemy. The seeds of love can never grow but under the warm and genial influence of kind feelings ami afVcctionate manners. Keep your conduct abreast ot your conscience, and very won your conscience will be illuminated In the radiance of God. It is always good to know, if only in parsing, a charming human being; it refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brjks. lie pleasant and kind to those around you. The man who stirs bis c.ip with an icicle sjoils the tea a?il chills h:s own lingers. It is good for us to think no grace or blessing is trulv ours till we are aware that GoJ has blessc! some one else with it through us. Old age is the night of life, as night is the old age of the day. Still night is fujl of. magnificence, and for many it is more brilliant than day. Stories heard at mother's knee are never wholly forgotten. They form a little spring that never quite dries lip in our journey through scorching years. The man who is jealous ami envious of his neighbor's success has foes in his heart who can bring more bitterness into his life than can any outside enemy. Kven in the fiercest uproar of our stormy passions, conscience, though in her softest whispers, gives to the supremacy of rectitude the voice of an undying testimony. WIT AND PLEASANTRY. Some malignant slanderer now states that 'a woman needs no eulogist, for she speaks for herself." A fashion paper announces that lownecked dresses are to be dropped at the opera next winter. The int.'llrgeuce is somewhat alarming. A Jersey City man was arrested as he was about to mar ry a widow. The arm of the law inusl be very strong in Jersey, or else it knows very little about widows. "How does the new pastor impress you, Miss Spinster?" "Lawsakes, how do you know he impressed me at all? I didn't s'pose anybody saw us." Chicago News. She "I don't like my bonnet, now that I've got it. It doesn't match my hair at all." He "Yo'u ought to have thought of that before you bought it." isdie ".My bonnet?"' He "'o, your hair" First Young Man (reputed to be a suitor of Miss X.) A very well-dressed lot of girls, Horatio. .Second Young Man (suitor)- Admirably; and none better than Miss X. First oung Man Oh, MissX. always distances them all. They sa', Horatio, that she has forty gowns hanging in her closet. Second Young Man Forty? Oosh! No room for trousers there. New York Sun. "What smell is that, my dear?"' "Cloves, my love." "Hut the other odor?" Cinnamon, darlimr." "But I smell something else." "O, that's allspice." "But I'm certain that 1 smell something that isn't spiced at all." "That's an apple 1 ate just before I came in." "Well," said Mrs. B., "if you'd only swallowe! a ham samlwich and a drink of brandy you'd have all the ingredients for a mince pie." Mose Case was an albino, whiter than a Caucasian, though his Parents were qure blacks. He went to the Mexican war as a musician in a Kentucky regiment. He was mpposed to have made a precipitate retreat on one occasion, and on being asked if he did not run, replied, "Not exactly; but if I had been goin for a doctor you would a thought the man was very sick." A Oueer Girl. LVcw York Sun 1 Horatio (thought to have proposed to Mifs Lucy) "Do you like ginger ale, Miss Lucy?" Miss Lucy "No, I don't like any that I ops, except champagne." All present (in chorus) "We thought so!" Too Mucli Prayer. Arkansaw Traveler. "Well, Coleman," said an Arkansas planter, addressing one of his tenants, "how is your crop this year?" " 'Tani't so mighty good, boss; 'tain't so mighty good." "Suflercd from drougf, I suppose?" "No, sah, we've had rain er plenty." "The boll-worm, I suppose, has injured your cotton ?" "No sah, I ain't seed no 1oll-worms dis yeah." "Kust, then, eh?" "No, sab, no rust." "What, then, is the cause of your poor crop?" "Too much trust in de Lawd, sah." "What?" "Too much pra'r, boss, and not emuff work, Ycr see dat I thought dat I'd try whut de preacher said I must do watch an' pray. Wall, de whole fambly woul watch an'Iwonl' pray ebery now an' den, 'specially when de weder wuz hot, but somehow it dldn" 'peer ter do no good. Boss, doesyer know uhutlb'lehes?" "What do you believe, Coleman?'' "W'y sah, I b'lebes dat when de cotton is in de g'rass elbow grecse is wuth er daim sight mor'n pra'r. J'ra'r is all right fur Sunday, but endurin' de week days er pusson haster sorter woik his j'nts," A Sulrinn Vow. Texas Siftiugs.1 Mrs. Colonel Fercy Yergcrwent into Mose Schaumburg'H dry-gools emporium recently to buy some dress-goods. "I'll give you SOecnts a yard for this stuff." said Mrs. Y'erger, examining some goods. Mose shook his head and said: "I never sells dose goods under 40 rents. When my diseased vater vas on his deathped on Le made me schwear it I vould never sell dot qwality cf goojs for less den 40 cents." "I'm sorry, but I can't pay that price," faid Mr?, Yeiger, moving towards tli9 doi

Mose saw that he was about to lose a customer. He motioned frantically to his svj Solomon, who was in the back part of the store to come to the front. Sjlomoa dtd to. "Solomon," said Mose, "you tid not yet schwtar to your dying vater on his deathtied on dot you Tould not sell dose goots far Jess den 40 cents a yard. Mrs. Y'erger, O Mrs. Yerge, cboostcome pack a leedie; dot young man will give j'ouavay dose goods at ?.ö cents a yard, choost pecause I was a goot friend by your huspand." Mrs. Verger bought twenty yards ai .",5 cents, and Mose made a clear profit of only 100 per cent. The Value of an Oath. Judge (to darkey witness) Do you know the nature of an oath? AVitness Sah! Judge Do you understand what you are to swear to? Witness Yes, sah. I'm to swar to tell de truf. Judge And what will happen if vou do not Uli it? Witness I "sjH'cts our si.le '11 win de cae.

Ha, Kr, Se, Ie, Hef, (If, Sticol. Fxebauge. Scene Knglish primary school. Mistress (teaching her class the alphabet) to Johnny (aged live) Now, Johnny, let's hear how well you can say your letters right through, Johnny Ha, be, sc, do, hef, go, haitch. Schoolma'um Can't .you say "aitcb," Johnny? Johnny Y'essem haitch, hi, ja, ka, shcol Schoolma'ani What! There's no such letter as that. You mean L. Johnny Yesscm, hi know; but ma saj-s yout mustn't say hell any more, coz they c dls it shcol. Not Quite Certain. "Hubby, who is John L. Sullivan?"' "He is "a Boston pugilist, my dear." "And who is the Puritan?" "Why, the ruritan is a Boston yacht." "Wellt I thought so; hut this paper-says the I'nritan struck a swell, ami I didn't know but I had them mixed." Idol for Hi it tivine. "Well, how is business?" was asked of a prominent socialistic agitator. "Business is very bad. Getting wore and worse every day." "Why, everybody else seems to think it is hi coming better. The factories are all starting up and " "Yes, that's it. It's getting so there's plenty for the workingman to do. That's the reason my business is bad." V by Marriage .4re l'enr. Providence Journal. Since the advent of women into circles ol business where once only men were to be found, there has been complaint of a tier-line in the marriage rate. The philosophers have not decided whether the two facts are coinci dences, or stand to ea h other in the relation of cause and effect; but a "lady clerk" in the Trcasurv Oepartment at Washington throws a great light upon the discussion. Mie savs that when a girl is kept at home, surrounded bv gills, and hears of the greatness of the masculine part of the genus homo, only meeting him at picnics ami in the parlor, she conceives a rather exalted idea of what be reallv is. But when she conies out and meets men as thev reallv are. awav from the gaslight's uncertain glitter, her idol is nulely scattered. Ihev know the sex better than thev Qil, and so the right man is harder to lind. This is important testimony. It bears directly on two or three social questions of the day which pertain to the elevation of women, her "emancipation," her rights and her duties. A WIFE LOCKED UP. Iter I'Mther is the .lailor and Swears Mer II s band slut II ot Have Her. Philadelphia. Pa.. October 3. David C. Whitworth is the wealthy miller of Areola, ontgomcry County, In the suburks of Philadelphia. II 1ms a pretty daughter, Mary, sixteen years old, and had until yesterday a clerk in his employ nanied George ITiman. Wednesday, the day lefore the new marriage license went into effect, George and Mary eIoied and ut married. George was not absent from his desk more than t.vo hours, and after she was made a wife ly the old Mennouite preacher of Areola, Mary wont to I'sinus College, where she is coniplciiuj; her education, and recited her leshons us usual. The lovvra dil nut meet again until to-night. when they announced their union. old Mr. Whitwortli promptly discharged his clerk and aeeuseil him f abluctin Mary for the fortune she is reported to josos. Marv wont weeping to bed on her wedding night, and Ullmau went away saying to his aiiopted father-in-law: "You can be as haid on me as you like, but I warn you not to be harsh to my wife." Mr. Whiteworth applied to a lawyer to-day to obtain a divorce. The only ditticult'y in the way is that the young wife declares that she will not hear to a separation and wants to go to her husband, fsbe cried all day anil would not Rive in. sbe is kept closely at home anl is watched, l llman says the Kirl believes she is eighteen years old, and that he (lid not use any undue influence over her. sihe wanted to marrv him. He proioses to have his wife, ami has already bought a little cottage fr her to live in. Japanese china is displayed in sets one cup and saucer comprising the set to hang in my lady's drawing-room. It's not quite so oll as a great-great-grandmother's, but it answers the purpose just as well. One of the smallest churches in the world, if not the smallest, is the Presbyterian church in Jordan Springs, Kan., which has only one member. He is an elder, and the church is reported as giving 1 to the relief fund for aged ministers and" fifty-live cents to the expenses of the assembly. Victims of youthful indiscretions, suffering from nervous debility, lack of self-confidence, impaired memory, ami kindred symIdoms, should send 10 cents in stamps for arge illustrated treatise, giving means of certain cure, with numerous testimonials. Address World's Dispensary Medical Association, GOo" Main Street, Buffalo, . Y. A Buddhist temple which will cost $:,00o,0oo is being built in Kudo, Japan. It is said that more than a ton of large ropes, made o their own hair, contributed by the women of Japan, will be used to- haul the timbers for the temple to their places. This temple is to be a Mecca for the faithful all over the Kmpire. The Blood Would Kim. I was a great sufferer from catarrh. Mynottrils were sensitive to dust; at times the blood would run, and at niyrht 1 could hardly breathe. 1 used Klv's Cream balm. To-day 1 am a living witness of 'its tfheacy. Peter Uruee, Farmer, Ithaca, X. YKnow thyself, by reading the "Science of Life," the best medical work ever published, for young and middle-aged men. FITS. All Fits stopped free by Pr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. No Fits after first day's nse. Marvelous cure. Treatise and 1 trial bottle free tc Fit cases, fsend to Dr. Kline, 931 Arch street, Phil adelpMa, Fa. Nervous Debilitated Men, You are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the u.e of Dr. Dyes Celebrated Voltaic Belt, with Select ric Suspensory Appliances, for the fpeedy relief and permanent cure of Nervous Debility, loss of Vitality and Manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also, for many other diseases. Complete restoration to health, Tigor and manhood guaranteed. No risk is incurred. Illustrated phamphlet, with full information, terms, etc., mailed Tree by addressing Voltaic Belt Company, Marshall, Mich. Rheumatism Quickly Cured. There never has been a medicine for rheumatism introduced in this i?tate that has given gueh universal natisfaetlon as lurang'8 Kheumatio Itemedy. It stands out alone s the one great remedv that actually cures this dread disease. It is taken internally, and never has and never can fail to cure the w orst case in the shortest time. H has the indorsement and recommendation of ninny leading physicians in this Siate and elsewhere. It is sold bv every drupuist atfl. Write for'free forty-psfre pamhplet to K. K. lIKLPlllvNfclJNi:, fruggist, Washington, V, V.

THE GRKAT

fflimUnfailmgr Specific FOB SYMPTOMS; ith a bruwa fur; p&m in Bitter or tad t la mmrb i tonrce coated white or Co. um in tlie back. idc. or tointe of'e. ni.trn iur KtieumatiMii ; Mar atomx-a lote er petite t tomrtimrs nausea and water! .rash, or ir.diestii.41 fUtulencT and acid eriKtabon; bomels alternately cosiw and lax : headaebe; U of memory, with a painful sei sation of having failed to do something which oufht hare teo done ; debility, low spirits; a thick, jtUv appearance of the skin ana eyes ; a dry cough ; h"ct; rrs'.Icsnev,: the urine is scanty and higb-coliKcJ, and. ii allowed to stand, deposits a sediment. SIMMONS LIVER REGULATOR Is gf neratly used tn the South to rouse tlie Torpid Lirer to a healthy action. Being entirely vegetable, no particular care U required hii"e using this medicine. The Itegulator acts without disturbance to t. system, diet or occupation. It refrulatea the tiTer, and Nature relieving herself, causes the bile to act as the puree. The excess of bile being removed, a tonic effect is produced, aad healu is perfectly restored. It Senates the ScTels tzi Sesiores AAWtt 1 MWAftW rsnpATiciT. It Is ft CEETALT C TOE FC3 DTSPSPSIi. The Regulator contains no quinine, mineral, or anything that will injure the mot delicate patient, and is given with safety and the happiest results to the most delicate infant. For all diseases in which laxative, alterative or pnreative is needed it will give the most perfect satisfaction. The Cheapest, Purest aad Best Family Medicine in the World ! S THERE IS BUT ONE SIO0NS I LIVER REGULATOR ! See tfiat vou t the genuine, wan Cut red P frei af Wrapper, prepared only by J. H. ZEILIN & CO., ot. raormisToas. 1 PHILADELPHIA, PA. TA tnajoritjf cfthm iU cfthe hunun hoiy arl$ from a derangement of tht Liver, effecting both the itomach end toMref. Jn order to effect a eure, f ute$$ary to remove the easts. Irregular and ßluggUh actio of the Boteelt, Seadaehe,SUJcneeo at the Stomach, Paim in the Bach and Loin ff etc., indicate that the Liter it at fault, and that nature require attietance to onablo this organ to throw off impurities. Prickly Ash tmteraare$pectaUu compounded for this purpope. They art onild fAeir action and effective a a cure; arepfeatantto thetatteand taken aatily by both children and adults Toy Uon according to directions, they are at safe and pleasant cure for Dyspepsia. General Debility. Habitual Constipation, Diseased Kidneys, etc., etc. A.s a Blood Partner they mro superior to any ather tticdlcinst cleansing tho system thoroughly, and imparting new life and energy to the tn ralid. It to a medicine ani not an Intoxicating: beverage, ASE T8BI lIBBQtST fll HlttlY ASI ItTTtlS, and take as otbsr. PBXCX,1.00pwBottla ttiCKLT ASH BITTERS CO..S0LE PROPRIETORS St. aVouia aa4 aTsnaaa Oxtj-. Ma, Notice of Guardian's Sale ot Estate . Heal Xotii is heri'lij' given that the undersigned as guardian of the person and estate of Harriet Jones, under and pursuant to an order of the Marion Circuit Court will, on the 9'h day of November, Iksö, at the law office of Van orhis fe Spencer, rooms 11, 1. and VI Jioston Block, iu the city of Indianapolis, Marion (Vinn ty. State of Indiana, between the hours of 10 o'clock a. in. and :i o'clock p. m. of said day ofler at private sale the following real estate sii'uated in haid county, to wit: Coinnieneiup on the cast line of the northeast quarter of section elven (11), Township Mxteen (lüi north. ranj;e th,ree (:!) cart at a point sixteen and fifty-six hundredths (10,r)t'-H)0) chains north of the southeast corner of said .quarter; theuee west thirty and thirty hundredths (:U):JO-100) chains: Uienee north thirty-seven anl one half deprccs t;7j ) cast, fourteen (HI chains; thence north forty-six and one-quarter degrees (ii ) cast, eipht M chains: thence west seven and forty-two hundredth (7 4'J-100) chains: thence north ciglitv-three detrrces (Ki i eafct, three and fifteen hundredths (3 l.vitX)) chains; thence north sixty-three ami one-half degrees o'kl'j cast, three iS'i chains; thence north tweuty-six aud onehalf degrees c.v.' ) east, seven and iiine-huu-dredths (7 MOni chains; thence north seventeen ami three-quarters decrees U"'4' ) east, sev.Mi and thirty-six hundredths (7 ruvioii) chains; thence north six aud one-fUarter degrees (G!v eat. eleven anl sevcuty-hundredths (U 70 100 chain; thence north three and a quarter decrees :;'4' ) east, seven ami rifty-cidht hundredths (7."x-10ji chains; thence north six (t') chains; thence north eij:ht and three-quarter degrees (k; ) east, five (") chains; thence north fifteen and one half degrees (l."'a , caM, thirteen (l:Si chains; thence north six and a quarter degrees tC'v) cast, eight anl sixty hundredths i J0 100; chains; thence north thirteen and a quarter degrees il.;1 ) east, seven and sixtythree hundredths ("ttt-lOO) chains, thence north seventeen and three-quarters degrees U "'4 ) east, six aul sixty hundredths tötjO-lOU) chains; thence north twenty-six and a quarter decrees (lii.1 east, two and nincty-scveu hundredths (J .7-loa chain"; thence south thirty-eight and eighty hundredths (: .vO-100) chains; thciicc ea-t fifteen and eight hundredths (15 H-Ka) chains; thence south twenty-nine anl oue-niarter degrees C-.'S west, thirty aud eighty-six hundredths c 'nVIiKi; thence south thirtythree and tiity-five hundrcUhs cs wiooi chains t the place of beginning, containing one hunilred and thirty-three aud twelve hundredths (l:S! 1J-1001 acres. fc'aid sale to be at not less than the full appraised value of sail real estate, the entire purchase price to be paid cash in hand. Jane W. Jones, liuardian. Vax Vokhis A Spencer, Attorneys lor Guardian. Sept J.. , . m i m , V .i.l;l. -!., '.Wfliifir fill' M H fJSti at u-a.itlw.a, MinaJ for ths. alwiva Als : DT H attf IhoQiindi of cmh of tho wort kiwi and of Ion odlu lb at I will od TWO BOTTLBS FHKI. toret htr w'.Üi V air rjABLS TKSAT18ob thtaJlaaa. Jo any (offeror. Ol axirMr.tXa44rMa, Cä- X. A. ÖU)C I M. 1W faarl 64. M. Y TO WMÜ HEN! I n (ferine from the efI fct of To'ittiiui er i ...f.J.,. Inat manhood, elo. I wilt aooil you a lnb!f lral i npoa theabOTt d,earw aluo direct in for m'f-cu re. frreof charge. Address Prot. F. a FO.rLtR.Moodua.Conx 170R SALE Matthew Tatent Renewable Momorandura Book. Send for sample copy and price list. Samples sent postpaid to any a Jdresj on receipt of M cents for No. 1. or 40 cents for No. 2. Addicss EQillSEL C0ÜFAHY, Indianapolis.

.

BITTI

Snnv a n ct. JoM, Attorneys for rif.:nt:ff.

SHERIFFS SALE Ey virtue of a certify! copr of a decree to me directed, from the t'lerk f f the Superior Court of Marion untv, Indiana, iu a cause wherein The Connecticut Mutual Life Insurance Company is plaintiff, and John D. con Jit ct al. are d.-ftDiiant.icae No. :t:.y::;) re(uiriiia nm to make the sum of eleven thousaud.cipht hunirt and sixty dollars anl thirty-nine cent. isit,s4).:r.'j with interest on said decree aud cts. I will cxpofce at public sale, to the highest bidder, on SATURDAY, THE 2!ih PAY A. D. lSsö. of ocT)rrn, between the hours of 10 o'clock a. m. and i o'e!.; k p. m., of said day. at tlie door of the Court-hiv,-. of Marion County. Indiana, the nuts and prot.n. for a term not exe'iling seven years, of thcfol-" lowing real cmhu-. t- it: Thirty-live (:') feet off of the south side of hi number two o in Mock number twenty i.m in lrake's addition to th eity of India qi)hH, Indiana. de"rilK-d a- follow, to-wif .: Cui!iic:i'in at the southwest corner of said lot numer two (2 in Mock umnkT twenty C.Vi in sai I aüiini, running thence north thirty-live ( -n feet, thonw m-l otK' limnlnil ml nine" tact ami fix im-ln-s 0(J"0i to the eo-t line of-said lot, ih?na' south oa said cast line tliirty-fue cv'ii feet to the soutä lino of said lot. thence ve-t on said south Hue one hundred and nine H-ri ami six ruchvs iltrj-ti) tthe place of Krinning. Also. A jxirtion o, lot nunUT twelve ill), in St. Clair's addition tothe city of Indianapolis,' Indiana, dewri)ed as follows, to-wit: Commcm-inr; ata iut in the west line 01" sai 1 lot number twelve il.'V at its intersection with the south line of lot number two (.'). in l.lo' k num'ier twenty CM), in Drake s addition to the city of Iiidi;tnalis, Indiana, running theuee cast forty-one (Hi f et aud eight (.) indies to an alley, thence north thirty live c;."i feet, thence west forty-one Hi feet and "eight inches, thence totith" thirty-iive CJjifect to tie place of leginnii!g. Also, . ' Tiirt of lots number fourteen (1 0 andfifteon il") in Isaac Llaekfopl's subdivision of ou(Io!n'irn1 cred one hundred and tlfty-two (l.VJi. one heuere 1 and tiny-three d-Vb'and one hundred and f ft four 1 151 1 in thcl'iiy of Indianapolis, Indiana, ce-cribed as lollows. vhz. : Commencing at a point forty (KM fret north of the southca-t corner of said lot number fifteen H o, 0:1 tlie cast line of said lot. Thence nr;h forty 1 10 1 feet, thcu-.-e west en a line parallel with the soinh 1'iicof kiM lot number fourteen, tMione hundred und cigh'yseven 17) and lour and one half iL'...) inches to "ti alley, thence s..;ith on a line with said alley forty ( 10) feet, th n c l ast 011 a line i.imillei wi'tli the south line of said lot number fourteen II' 0110 hundred and eighty seven '1Ti feet and mmt and one-hall (l'..i inehes to the place of lieiuiiitiu. Also, Lot number eighty-six (No in Iaae Kinck ford's subdivision of otillots number one hundrel and tifty-t il"2'. one hundred and lifly-tlrree li;:i and one hundred ami fn'tv-four , 1 - I , iu tlie eity of Indianapolis. Indiana. Also, 'i he south half i'o of lot numlcr ten (ini in Mifflin's subdivision of s-juare number fourteen ( 11 in the city of Indianapolis. Indiana. Kach and all" of said alxjve desc ribed piece of rval estate King situated in tlie city of Indianapolis Marion county, ami ato of Indiana. If Mieb rents p.u1 iofits will 110t sell for a sufficient sum to satisfy said decree, iuterest and costs, I will, at tiie same time and place, expose to public sale the fee simple of said real estate, or so much thereof as nmy be suttieient to lisohurpe aid decr.e, interest anl costs. sttj,j iil bo made without any relief whatever from valuation or appraisement law s. GEORGE II. CARTER. Sheriff of Marion County, fccpttniber 2s A. D. l-j. FiNtu t Finii, Attoruevs for riaiiitiff. SITERIFFS SALE. By virtue of a certified copv of a decree tome dfrected, from the Clerk of the Superior Court of Marion County, Indiana, in a cause wherein Samuel Kinghara is 1'laintid, and John F. Sterrett ct al. arc defendants, (case No. Sl,l yl requiring me to make the sum of one thousand two hundred and thirtv dollars and eighty-six cents M.ia'.Nii with interest ou sil decree and costs 1 will expose at public sale, to the highest bidder, on IATUKDAY, THE2lth PAY OF OCTOBER, A. D., lvsj, Beween the honr? of ten o'clock a. m. and four o'clock p. tn., of sail day, at the door of the Court House of Marion County, Indiana, the rents and Jrofits for a term not exceeding seven years, of the ol lowing real estate, to-wit: The east half of the north half of the southeast quarter of Section twenty-six (Jili, township seventeen (1T north at range" four ( I) cast, containing forty (40,i acres, situate in Marion County Iudiana. If such rents aud profits will not sell for a sufficient sum to satisfy sai'l decree, interest ami costs. 1 will, at the same time and place. expoe to public sale the fee simple of said real estate, or so much thereof as may be. sufficient to disclmrgo said decree, interest ami costs. Said sale Willi made without any relief whatever from valuation or appraisement" laws. GEORGE H. CARTER, sheriff of Marion County. D. lsio. September A . A. Vax .J'.rp.r., Attorney lor riaiuliff. SHERIFF'S SALE. By virtue of an execution to me directed from the Clerk of the superior Court of Marion County, Indiana, I will expose at public bale, to the highest bidder, on SATURDAY, THE 21th A.D. PAY 1S65, OF OCTOBER, between the hours of 10 o'clock a. in. and 4 o'clock p. m. of saii day, at the loor of the Court House of Marion Countr.Idiaua, the rents and profits for a term not exceeding seven years, ol all the right, title, interest and estate of Eugene Knighton, the same !cing an undivided one-fifth interest in and to the follow ing described real estate, to-wit: lxt numlercl three c'.'iand two (2) feet off of the south side of lot numlered two (Ji in Mitchell's addition to the city of Indianapolis, Marion County, Indiana. And"on failure to realize the full amount of Judgment, iuterest aud costs, I w ill, at the soxne time and place, c xpose at public sale the fee simple of said real estate. Taken as the property of Eugene Knighton at the suit of tiertrude K. Hear. Said sale to be made without any relief from valuation 01 appraisement laws. (Case No. S3 210.) UEORciE IL CARTER, Hn-riff ol Marion County. Skptember 2S A. P. lsx',. C.EOROE v. Poi:tkb, Attorney lor riaiuti:T. SHERIFF". AI.E.-Py virtne of a certificl copy of a decree to me directed, from the Clerk of the Superior Court of Marion County, Indiana, in a cause wherein Albert . 1'orter is plaintiff and John D. Condit ct al. are defendants (Case No. X5.M"). requiring me to make the sum of S'.t77.21 , with interest on sail dceree and costs, I will expose at public sale, to the highest bidder, on SATURDAY, THE 21th PAY OF OCTOBER, A. D. 1NS.1, between the hours of 10 o'clock a. m. and 1 o'clock p. m.. of said day. at the door of the Court House of Marion 'County, Indiana, the rents and profits for a" term not exceeding seven vears of the following real estate, to-v. it: The west one-third i1 ;.) of lot No. 3 U. iu square No. sixty-eight in the city of Indianap dis, county öf Marion, ami State of Indiana, described as follows: Beginning at a point on the south side of Washington street, at the northwest corner of said lot No. three :'.). thence south one hundred and nine-tv-tive il'.s'i ieet, thence east twenty-two and onei'alf ci'i) feet, thence north one hundred and ninety rive (li-" feet, thence west along the south side of Washington street twenty-two aud onc-hall l2JV; feet,' to the place of beginning. If such rents anl profits v ill not sell for a 11 (flCieut sum to satisfy said decree, interest anl: costs, I will, at the same time and place, expose to public sale the fecVimpl of said real estate, or so much thereof as niay le sufheient to discharge said Iiecree, iuterest and costs, haid sale will bemade without any relief whatever from valuation or appraisement laws. 1 1 C.EOrtf;E H. CARTER, Sheriff of Maiion Couuiy. September 2s A. D.lss.". Van Yokiii JL "ienxek Attornevs lot Tir r.tiff. SfATE OF 1NPIANA, MARION tOt'NTY, s: Inthcstii'orior Couit c( Marion Cuumr, iu the Stateof Iudiana. PewiaCool vs. Theodore Col. No. o4,4s7, rom 2, coiuj-laint for divorce. lie it known Hint on tne 'Ji'.th day of September, lr,, the above-named tlaintiff. by her attorneys, tilel intbeofliccof the Clerk of the superior Court of Marion County, in the state of Indiana, bcreouiplaint against the aliove naniil dtfeinlant, ll.eotor Col. and the said ilintiff having alo f.lcl in said I lerk'c office the affidavit of a enipctein; lK-ron, showing that fftid defendaut, Theodore tool, is not a resi-lent of the suitcof ln.liauf.; that said action is brought for the purpose ol picuring a di one. Now therefore, said defendant last clx.ve naml ish.-tebv notified of the lilins and tendency of aid complaint af a'nst him. and that unless be apjK'ar and answer or demur thereto, at the calling of said cause, 011 the 7th day of Icecmber, INC), the same K ing the first judicial day 01 tho term of said court to Ik begun anil hcldatcio Cotirt house in tho eit v of 1 ndianajoh'. on the first Mondav in liecember. isv.. sai-l complaint and the matters and things therein contained and alleged, will be heard and determined in lus abseuce. Mots McUUN, CWrk,