Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 31, Number 42, Indianapolis, Marion County, 9 September 1885 — Page 7

THE INDIANA STATE SENTINEL, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 18S5.

7

A MORAL FOR THE MARRIED.

tm Reply te a Poem Entitled, "A Woman's yuestion. X you know what you a.sk In your verses? For an angel from woman not born; For blessings without any curses, or the rose with never a thorn. In a husband yon long for an angel, As lierfectas spirits above; But your own life should be an evangel Or duty, devotion and love. Eemerofler this great truth is provable, As a sura in arithmetic's proved: We must first make our natures lovable If we wish, in return, to be loved. Through long, weary hours ol the day-time, While others for pleasure may roam, Nt a moment for res t or for play-time, J toil lor the loved ones at home. And after I have toiled and have striven, I tiutl to my wirrow and rain, Thut the home 1 hud painted as Heaven Was a dieam of my own foolish brain ! The cooking is bad beyond question. Kor Christian, for Jew or fur Turk; And the pangs of a wretched digestion I receive in return for my work. In conrtship. to have Ixwe for a neighbor Is a Very prent blessing, but later, W hen, wearied and worn from your labor A nieely cooked dinner's a greater. If I join en old 'chum" in the nis'ht-time For a drink or a fine oyster stew, And fail to return at the riebt time, 1 catch the very d 1 from you. MORAL. J car wife, have the "soul of a Roman !' An. I bravely face things as they be; hi rrn uiijcr you're oiily a ivuman, I hen why seek, an angel in me? Baltimorcau. WIT AND PLEASANTRY. A man said to his asred mother, speaking of his wife, "I do wish I could keep Mary from exaggerating so!" "Get her to talk of her own age," responded the threwJ old lady. "Do you have good drinking water here?" asked a traveler in a Kentucky town. 4,Gootl what?" "t'ood drinking water." "Oh, yes. Jly'er Xeb, take the strangeWs horse and water him." "Now, then," said a busy lawyer to one of a number of waiting clients, "vou are next, sir." "I'm what?" -Next," "No you don't," said the client, moving toward the door. I didn't come in here to get shaved." "Your wife died while you were in Kurope last summer I hear." "es, she's in heaven, the good old sonl." "That ought to I a great source of worrinient to you." "Why to?" localise it's not likely that you'll ever isee her again." A lady writer relates an instance of the extravagance of New England humor, that when a young farmer's wife made her first boy's pants precisely as simple before as behind, the farmer exclaimed: "Goodness: lie won't know whether he's going to school or coming home." Gentleman "You look tired and worn out, Uncle llastus." Uncle llastus "Yes sah, I is. 1 doan git no sleep," "No tleep?" "No sah. Dis darkey can't git no sleep in de watermilliou season. A gentleman whose family consists of a wife ami twin girl babies came in very late one night and went to bed. His sleep was brohen, and he.tossedand tumbled and muttered something about "two of a kind" and "a small pair." "Poor John," murmured Iiis wife; "he is tired and is dreaming of the children." Miss IJessie "Tell me, Auntie, am I twenty-live or twenty-six to-day? It is funny enough, but I never can rememler." .Auntie "Why, Bessie, vou oughn't to forget when you were born you are twentysix." Uncle Joe (who is a little deaf) ".Bessie born in twenty-six! Why, Jane, you are crazy; .she wa-n't born 'till fifty; the is only thirty-live." He was in the habit of coming ho.ue night after night at '2 o'clock in the morning. Mie grew weary of this and rendered his latchkey useless by locking the front door. He was obliged to ring the bell, and was horrorstricken when his wile appeared at the window and murmured: "Go away, George, I expect my husband home every moment." He has become very domesticated since. A story- Is told of a shrewish Scot bwoman who tried to wean her husband from the dram shop by employing her brother to act the part of a ghost and frighten John on his way home. "Who are you?" asked the gude man as the apparation roe before hint from behind a bush. "I am Auld Nick," was the replj-. "Conic awa", man." said John, nothing daunw-d. "ie's a shake o' your band; I am married ,tae a sister o' yours!" Town to Truth. Kentucky Goroner (holding inquest) You think the lody is that of Colonel Jllood? Witness I am qcitc sure it sir. Coroner In what pocket was the bottle found? Witness Hip pocket. Coroner H'm. Likely Colouel Uiood. Any whisky? Witness No, sir; it was empty. Coroner Evidently Colonel Blood. Tint or quart lottle? Witness Quart bottle, sir. Coroner Gentlemen, there lies all that remains of our lamented friend. Colonel Blood. A Suggestion. Bo ion .Sunday Times. Young Featherly (at a late .hour) Ileally, Miss Clara, it's very annoying, but I had it on the tip of my tongue but a moment ago. 1 was about to say to s:iycr singular, but it seems to have escaied me. Miss Clara (coming to Iiis assistance) Pos- ? ib I y you were about to say "rood night," Mr. Featherly? A Case Where Two Wrongs Made a Right. "Does your husband go to the lodge. Mrs. Giblriek?" "Well, he just don't. I broke that little game up quite a while ago." "Why, Low in the world did you do it?" "Whenever he started for the lodge I went with him as far as the skating rink, and told him to call for me on the way home. It only took a few doses to cure him." Not Mtieh to Spare. fXew York Tiine.l Girl I will look at your hammocks, please. Dealer Yc. inis. Now, -there is something nice. Not expensive, but at the same time pretty and strung. Girl It doesn't look very strong. Dealer I will guarantee it to sustain a weight of 300 jounds, miss. Girl Let lue see; V20 and 10. would be just USo very well. I will take that one. A Stern Soldier. (New York Sun. Mrs. Hendricks (calling on Mrs. Colonel Towser) I noticed your husband at the head of his regiment in the parade yesterday, Mrs. Tow ser. What stern and commanding presence be has. Mrs. Towser Very (to the Colcnel just entering the door J Did you bring the meat for dinner, Towser? Colonel Towser Ah er. By jove, my dear, I er Mrs. Towser You needn't "Ali" and "er" about it. You forgot that meat, and you can just tramp back and get it. (To Mrs. Hendricks) Exeu- me, Mrs. Hendricks, but you were saying An I'aher'a Iark of Tart. New YorkTimcs.J A young man who bad Wen an usher in a theatre obtained a similar situation in a church, but he only kept it over one Sunday. Deacon Dewgood. a be ld-headed old fellow, entered the church and took his own I-ew while the new usher was engaged elsewhere. Presently the nsher spied him. "Deacon," he whispered audibly, "I can

piye you your usnal place uj in front if you !! wish it."

The next Sunday at. other usher was on duty. SOCIAL GOSSIP. Water in which borax is dissolved is good for the hair, and also to whiten the face and hands. Beautv and ugliness disappear equally under the wrinkles of age. one is lost in them, the other hidden. J. l'etit-Senn. Because Queen Victoria is said to have much smaller feet than any of her daughters, the Chicago girls are imagining themselves Frin cesses. Happiness is a stale of constant occupation upon some desirable object, with a continental sense of progress toward its attainment. Madame de fcuel. The Prince of Wales' limp, recently affected by the dudes, is the combination of the walks of a man who has been kicked and a man who ought to be. Experience discloses all too late the snares set for the young. It is like the cold mist that shows the spider's web when the flies are no longer there to be caught. In New York it is proposed to org-jiize a new ballet composed exclusively of handsome young women. An organization of that sort would be a great novelty. Curiosity about trifles and laborious attention to little objects which neither require nor deserve a moment's thought, lower a man and make him incapable of greater matters. It is strange that when anything happens to a young woman she is always said to be superlatively beautiful and richly dressed. This ought to make plain and poorly dressed girls feel happy. Nothing will happen to them. The recent little diplomatic love passage between tjueen Yietoria and the Sultan was very delicate and touching, but Yic is too old; it won't work. iSlie may be powerfully fond of Turkey, but it takes a young set of teeth to masticate as tough a bird as she has tackled. The belles of Saratoga have a substitute for kissing, and it consists in rubbing cheeks. The maidens meet. The nose of cue is slid back about to the ear of the other, and the conjunctive cheeks, held hard, are slowly rubbed together until they part at the corners of the mouths. Small Boy Ma, what does a minister mean when he says he has a "call?" Ma He means that he feels prompted to preach the gospel in some particular locality, where he thinks he can do a great deal of good. Pa And when he's offered 10,000 a year and slippers and dressing gowns free, that's a "shout." Ma You shouldn't put such worldly thoughts in Willie's head, my dear. In F.arbadoes one Sunday the captain of a vessel from New York saw a very important colored lady, gloved and jara.sjoled, walking to church with a barefooted colored servant, carrying her bag and prayer book. He was astonished at the lady of eolor being able to keep up so much state, but was told that the couple were sisters, and if he would only wait until next Sunday he would see the situations reversed. SAN FRANCISCO'S FIRE QUEEN. One of the Strange Characters that Drifted To California in the Old Days. fsan Franci-co Alta.l Alout three weeks ago a despatch was received in this city announcing the death at Kein, New, of Mrs. Casement, a colored woman about sixty-three years of age, who bequeathed sums of money of more or less magnitude to several companies of this department, as well as to a few of the old members of the volunteer companies of early da vs. That old lady was the "Firetjueen." Emily Casement came here overland from NewYork city in the early part of 1S.V, and opened a saloon and dance hall on the old Mission road, in the neighlorhood now marked by Tenth and Mission streets. She was a freeboni quadroon girl. alout twentyeight years of age, and possessed a face and figure of striking beauty. Her eccentric character and odd, reckless ways soon brought her into prominence among the men about town, but her generosity and happy-go-lucky diss.sition gained her many friends. Emily had few bad traits and many good ones in her odd character. She was honestv itself, and would ermit no underhanded dealings among those in her establishment. As for charity, she was the personification of it. No one ever asked for assistance from her ami met with a refusal. She made a great ileal of money, but was always free with It, and many a oor devil has been cheeked on Iiis downward career and given a new lease of life tlirough her generosity and kindness. It was sometime during the summer of '.", if I remember correctly, that the old distillery of James Dows A Co., ou Mission Creek, was burned. It was a large, rambling brjck structure three stories in height, with several additions of lesser size adjoining. It was late in the afternoon one day in the early part of the summer that the 'boiler of the distillery exploded, the spirit tanks ignited, and in a very few minutes the whole building was in Uanies. The deep, heavy sand this side of the distillery hindered the progress of the lire engines very materially, and by the time we arrived the fire was beyond control. All that could be done then was to save the small buildings adjoining, and a portion of the moveable property. A great crowd of spectators had gathered by this time, and nmor.jr them was Emily Casement shouting words of encouragement to the weary firemen. The fire raged fiercely. ami the tlaines i-rppt stealil v on and licked every beam and ratter in the old building, in spite of our almost superhuman efi'orts. The walls wer wavering and the roof beginning to show signs of caving in, when a sudden cry rang out that several tiremen were still in the building, and so overcome by the heat and smoke that they were unable to lind tiicir way out. A call for volunteers to go to the rescue, remained unanswered. A second call, and still no resionse. At last Emily Casement sprang forward, and, tn rowing the skirts of her dress over her head, rushed into the burning building. A few seconds elapsed, during which the spectators almost held their breath in susiense, when they saw Emily returning, dragging the form of a half suffocated fireman. Again she disapjeared into the burning building, returning almost immediately with another rescued fireman, Five or six times was this heroic deed n.-jjcated, but at last human endurance could accomplish no more, and the noble woman fell fainting in the doorway by the side of the last unconscious fireman she had saved from a horrible death. Keady hands removed the heroic woman to a place of safety, where it was discovered that she had been horribly burned about the face and bands. Her hair had been entirely burned, and the skin and scalp were scorched and bl stored in a frightful manner. She soon regained consciousness, however, and, instea I of giving way to her agony and suffering, she commenced giving orders for the projxr care and treatment of the injured firemen. She tore her clothing into strips to make bandages for their relief, and then ordered them removed to her house, not far distant, w here they were given every attention. It was not until the others were all cared for that she submitted to having her own injuries attended to. From that day she was know n as the "Fire Queen," and became tlu idol of the lireboys and all who knew her. It was many weeks before she recovered from the effects of her injuries, and to her dying day she bore the honorable scars receivcu on that memorable occasion. During the succeeding five years her life was one of uneventful monotonyj but in the latter part of l"jO her increasing business induced her to remove her establishment to California Street, just above Kearny. The change was an unfortunate one, however, and ill-success clung to her until she was finally compelled to give up her place and open a small place on Morton street. After a year passed in this place she sold out and left or the East. Since thca very little is

known of her, and of late years nothing has teen beard of her until the receipt of the despatch with the news of her death. There is one thing I bad almost forgotten; she aiways took a very active part in saving young girls from a lie of shame, and In case where some had fallen she did all in her K)wer to turn them from the sad fate that awaited them. Her Keepsake. 'You shan't have it! I won't give it up." A very old and forlorn-looking woman bad been arrested for vagrancy in the streets of a great city, fc'he was dirty, ragged, and miserable. Her brown and wrinkled face wore a distressed and weary look. Her bony fingers closed tightly over something held in her right hand, thrust under her ragged apron. "You shan't have it!" she said, angrily, to the officer whose duty it was to search prisoners before confining them in their cells. "Let me see what it is, anyhow," he said, half coaxingly. 4,It aint anything you'll want," she said, drawing back, with her hand still hidden in the folds of her apron. "It aint anything I can do any harm with. It's jest a little kind of a a keepsake." The old woman began to cry, with her arm held over her eyes. "You'll have to let me look at it," said the officer, kindly but firmly. "It's the rule of the prison. You may keep it, perhaps, after I've seen it." The wrinkled hand came slowly out from under the apron, the bony lingers were unclasjed. and there in the shrivelled palm lay a ragjied little shoe. "Fshaw! I don't care for that," said the officer, a little huskily. "1 kiiowed,you wouldn't," sobbed ont the woman. "But I keer a good deal fer it. It's a keepsake, you know." A keepsake the orfe little bond between the life that was and the life she now knew, a tiny remnant of the happy past clung fondiy to her in the sorrowful present. It was my baby's shoe, his hrst and only one," she said. "I've carried it for thirtyfive years, an' I'd have been a worse woman 'n I am now if it hadn't been for that little shoe." There was no proof that she was a bad woman now. Unfortunate she surely was, and the world had not been kind to her. Vagrants have hearts and souls. That ragged little shoe had for all those years been the treasure and the comfort of that one; it may have been the salvation of the the other. It may have been her shield against temptation, her strength in hours of weakness, ber consolation amid all the sorrows of her hard life; and, in the end, it might lead the helpless old soul to the cross of the Christ who had carried her babe in His bosom, and whose arms were outstretch towards herself. Why He Feared for the Voting Lawyer. Boston Record. Old Squire K , now dead for many years, noted at the Suffolk bar for sturdy principle and for sound common law learning, and possessing something of a contempt for the manv and artificial modifications of the old law by legislative enactment, was one day examining a rather bumptious student, w ho evidently had original notions as to the proper course of legal study. "Well, young man," said the 'Sjuire, "how long have you studied?'' "Two years." was the reply. "Urn! two years. Ought to be half a dozen. I suppose you've read most of the text tooks?" "Not a great many, sir. My reading has been general ami varied." "You've read Blackstone and Kent, of course?" asked the examiner. .'Not entirely. 1 read the first volume of Blackstone. and it seemed to me rather out of date, so I postponed it for historical reading. I have glanced through a volume or two of Kent." Oh! have vou? Read 'Washburn on Real Projerty?' " "In parts, sir." "Well, how about '"(ireenleaf on Evidence,' 'Metcalf ok Contracts,' and 'Chitty on Pleading?' Have you read any of them?" asked the 'Squire, rather impatiently. "Well, sir, I have looked at some of them, but I thought I had better leave the theoretical books until I was better grounded in the practical part of the law," confidently explained the youth. "Perhaps, on the whole, it would be shorter if you would tell me what books you have read,"

growled out the now indignant lawyer. "Certainly, sir. I have made a very careful study of the Massachusetts GenerV.l Statutes." "Young gentleman," said the old lawyer, his indignation changing to a quiet humor, "I would like to recommend vou to the court for admission to the bar, anil then watch your course, but the fact is, I don't dare to." "Why not. sir?" asked the youth, somewhat abashed. WeIl, you don't seem to have wasted much time on the common law, but have devoted yourself to the statutes. Now, if you wre admitted I should be terribly afraid the Legislature might come together next winter and repeal all you know !" Mr. Adams and Ills Mule. l'itt"urg t)isat li.) Mr. Archibald Adams, a teamster, who resides out the Brownsville road, had an interesting and exhileratiug experience yesterday morning. A week ago Mr. Adams bought a pair of plain, ordinary, every-day mules at the horse market. Now, Mr. Adams is a care, ful man and has a kind heart for animals. So when he noticed in the farmers' column of a newspaper a day or so ago that it was an excellent thing to wash the hoofs of horses occasionally in hot water, he came to the conclusion that he would try its beneficial effects on those mules. He got a pail of hot water yesterday morning and hied himself away to the stable. The mules blinked at him with a mild, languid air, flirted their "little tails about pleasantly, and awaited their master's will. Mr. Adams set the pail of water down at the rear feet of one of the mules. The mule kept on looking pleasant. Then Mr Adams lifted up one of the hoofs and carefully put it in the bucket. t t t Miss McCosh" Walking Powers. Philadelphia Press. The distinguished President of Princeton College, Dr. McC'osh. has two daughters who are great walkers. They are in the habit of walking to Trenton and back, a distance of about twenty miles, where they do their shopping. One day a dude accosted Miss Bridget McCosh on the road and said, in the usual manner: "Bog pardon, but may I walk with you?" She replied: "Certainly," and let herself out a little. After the first half mile the masher began to gasp, and then, as she passed on with a smile, he sat down panting on a mile-stone and mopped the perspiration from his brow. Hay Fever nml Cream Halm. I have used Ely's Cream Calm for Hay Fever, and exierienced great relief. I cordially recommend it as the best of all the many remedies I have tried. T. 15. Jenks, Lawyer, Grand Kapids, Mich. Watches were formerly made with 11,40) beats to the hour, or four to the second. This is called slow train, and is obsolete except for quarter second watches. English standard is lG,i.10 beats to the hour, while the American standard is 1,000, or five to the se cond, called quick train. Nervous Debilitated Men, Yon are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the use of Dr. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt, with Electric Suspensory Appliances, for the ppeedy relief and permanent cure of Nervous Debility, loss of itality and Manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also, for many other diseases. Complete restoration to health, vigor and manhood guaranteed. No risk is Incurred. Illustrated phamphlet, with full Information, terms, etc., mailed free by addressing Voltaic Belt Company, Marshall, Mich. Know thyself, by reading the "Science of Life," the best medical work ever jablished, for young and middle-aged men. FITS. All Fits stopped free by Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. No Fits after first day's use. Marvelous eure. Treatise and U trial bottle free tc Fit nes. Send to Dr. Kline, V31 Arch street, 1'hil adelpbia, Fa.

EVENING SOLACE.

BT CHARLOTTE EHOXTE. The human heart has hidden treasures, In secret kept, in silence sealed The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, Whose charms were broken if revealed. And days may pass in gay confusion, And nights in rosy riot fly. While, lost in fame's or wealth's illusion, The memory of the past may die. But there are hours of lonely musing, Such as In evening silence come. When, soft as birds their pinions erosing, The heart's best feelings gather home. Then in our souls there seems to languish A tender grief that is not woe; Aud thoughts that once wrung groans ol anguish Now cause but some mild tears to flow. And feelings, once as strong as passions, Float softly back a faded dream ; Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations The tale of others' suffering seem. Ob! when the heart Is freshly bleeding. How longs it for that time to be. When, through the mist of years receding, its woes but live in revery! And it can dwell on mooulight glimmer, On evening shade and loneliness. And while the sky grows dim aud dimmer, Feel no untold and strange distressOnly a dccer impulse given By a lonely hour and darkened room, T solemn thoughts that soar to Heaven, Seeking a life and a world to eouic. VARIETIES. There are UK) life prisoners in the New York penitentiaries. The Mormons have affected a settlement in Mexico, close on the borders of Arizona. Twenty-eight states have adopted laws restricting the practice of medicine to educate persons. A polite way of dunning a delinquent debtor ii to send him a bouquet of forget-me-nots. A boy with no brains has been born in Nebraska." It will not be necessary for this boy to learn to be a dude. Swearing is wholly unknown in Japan. The worst word a Japanese ever applies to a man he dislikes is "beast." The newspaiersof the world have just been reckoned up at 3ö,000, thus giving one to every 8,000 inhabitants. I-ast year Iowa produced 2,501, 1"4 gallons of whis'ky and 7,317,148 gallons of beer ujvon which there was a revenue of 2,ö4 J,02.5Maple sugar has at last been patented and there remains no longer any excuse for keeping up the hypocrisy of groves of maple trees. Lowell Citizen. A Detroit baby escaped premature burial by crying in its corlin, to the great alarm of the mourning relatives, and is now in better health than for some time past. A young lady who read that hops were being seriously injured by wet weather, declared that no amount of wet weather would prevent her from going to a good hop. London dealers in birds received, when the fashion was at its height, a single consignment of 32,00O humming birds, and at one time received Ö0.o0 aquatic birds and ."01OUO wings. "Is my husband happy in the spirit land?" "Yes, perfectly so, madam. He has everything his soul desires." "Then, thank heaven, he's got it at last!" "tiot what, madam?" "A postolhce." English laws, like our own. need revision. A few weeks ago a man was sentenced at Y'ork, England, to three month imprisonment for manslaughter. He bad previously done seven years ienal servitude for stealing a shirt. A man became bankrupt with liabilities of $20,000. and in the settlement of the etate, which yielded 78 per cent, to the creditors, the cost of the administration amounted to less than js'JO. This happened away ofT in Sweden, however. Insanity is increasing in Massachusetts at the rate of about 200 cases a year. The hospitals are overcrowded, and efferts are making to lind places for harmless patients, cseclally women, iu families in the State, a plan which has proved very successful in Scotland. Between 1870 and 180 the white population of the United States increased from 33,5D2,liJ5 to 43,402,970, or 20 20 per cent., and the colored population from 4,8S,C87 to b5.sO,7!:i, or 34 C7 per cent. Yet the colored people gained nothing from immigration, while something like three millions were added to the white jopulation from that pource. A French chemist has invented a method of preserving boJies at a much less cost than embalming, by rubbing them over with t'lumbagine aud then exposing them to a uith of zinc, copper, or even silver and gold. If desired, the bath can be prolonged until the corpse is as hard as granite. It w ill save the expense of wakes and fuutrals, aud every man will be his own statue! A talFman sat with his w ide-brimmed hat on at a Texas concert, and when commanded to remove it he said: "It'll be worse if I do;" but those behind him insisted that he should uncover. He did so, and a mass of bristling hair stood stiflly out from his head in all directions like the starched locks of imitation Circassian girls in museums. "I told you it'd be worse if I did," he remarked. Professional beauty ou the Pacific coa?t finds lucrative employment as a treteuded illustration of the merit" of a patent medicine. A wonderfully lovely young woman travels in the chariot of a vender of medicine which be declares caused the perfection of her complexion. He noil a tonic, too, to which be attributes t he abundance of her hair nnd drugs for the iucrease or reduction of llesh to her standard. My Sally .Ann. When de 'possum Is a sittin' up hi do tree, An' de red bird's a holleriu' mighty high. Ad' do coru am a-wavin' In lc hot summer air, An' de clouds go a-sailin 'long by, Oh. den I link of my Hnlly Ann, Ik? yaller gal up bv do creek, A n s"ip my hoe on de bright red san", Fo' I'll Me her de en' oh do week! O Sally Ann 1 SallyAnuI llusv as de bee: Sally Aim! Sally Ann 1 She's de gal fo' me! vi hen de ole sweet tater's a gmwin' mighty fas'. An' de squash an do pumpkin very tin', Win n de ole turkey-gubl.lah goes a sirnttiu'pas'. An' de w ater-inellion' rip' to de rin', Oh. den I link ob my Sully Aim, Je yaller gal up de creek, An' I work mighty fas' on' hoe up de Ian Fo' I'll see her de en ol de week ! O, Sally Anu! Sally Aim! Flu as you kiu see: Sally Ann! Sally Ann! .she's de gal fo' me! Norrlstowu Herald. Bismarck Clves Them Hack. PIttKburg Chroniele.l "Sockfussendembach?" cried Bismarck. Rocks came in and looked inquiringly at the Chancellor. "Dit you blace dem liaroliua Hants in de ize chest mit dem utter dings vot I hef cot mit Africa?" "Schure?" "Veil, den dake em ouet and send um pack. Dem Spoonyards say dev will come ofer, und den ve git dot koolcra.' A Story About 'Verter. Ex-Governor Reuben E. Fenton, of New York, who died at his home in Jamestown on Tuesday last, was an excellent story teller. He had a droll, inimitable style which, added to his general and iersonal acquaintance with the great men of the country, made him an entertaining conversationalist. Rome months ago the writer heard the ex-Governor relate an anecdote never before published, in which Daniel Webster was the central figure. In lS.0Mr. Webster visited South Carolina, ostensibly to see the country, but in reality to become better acquainted w ith the leading Whigs and set up his fences for the Presidential nomination. The great utatesman was cordially received and a dinner was given in his honoi in Charleston, at which twenty-five of the i influential men of (South Carolina were in

vited. During the progress of the feast, and when everybody bad Deeome merry from wine, the subject of the Presidency was brought up. There was a wide diversity of opinion as to who would prove the most available candidate. At last Mr. Webster, in all seriousness, asked: "Why not take me?" "We all admire j-ou very much, Mr. Webster," said the Chairman; "we recognize you as a splendid orator and worthy man, fcut you come from Massachusetts, sir, and represent a section inimical to our own, sir. and the people would never support any one from that State, sir." The brilliant Yankee lost his temper at once, and broke up the party by his retort: "There are two things in my character which ought to recommend me to Southern gentlemen: 1 get drunk, and don't pay my debts." CURIOUS, USEFUL AND SCIENTIFIC.

M. Witz states, as the result of observations lie has been making for some time on atmospheric ozone, that the proportion of ozone in the air of Paris last year was inverse to the mortality from cholera. The lowest recorded temperature, 303 below zero F., has been produced by Olszewski, by producing liquid nitrogen under low pressure. Liquid carbon monoxide gave UG5 below zero and liquid oxogen 24iJ 1-4. M. Jarain attributes the cold nights usual in April and May to the fact, which he declares from the experiments of M. Glaisher and others, that the mimimum of vapor in the atmosphere prevails then, thc.maximnm being in August. The Michigan Agricultural College jieople are testing the vitality of seeds buried in scaled bottles six vears ago. The seeds which thus far prove to have most vitality are those of common weeds, their percentages being from JJO to 100, while plant see I did not germinate freclv. Electricity has Wen brought to the aid of the sportsman by the use of a small lamp for the front sight of a ritle, to render it visible in the dusk or when from any cause watever there is insufficient light. The minute electric lamp is fix eil near the muzzle of the gun and shielded by a metalic screen. The current is supplied by a small battery in the stock. A new "everlasting" wood pavement has been brought into France. The wood blocks are boiled in a solution of sulphate of copper, sulphate of zinc and chloride of sodium, mixed with heavy mineral oil, linseed oil and taliow. The blocks are afterward compressed to about one-tenth their original volume. In this state they are said to be practically unwcarable. The Detroit Iancet describes the four plans for reducing obsesity: The eating of nothmgconiaining starch, sugar or fat, called the Banting system; the eating of fat. but not sugar or starch, called the German Banting; the wearing of wool and sleeping in flanhel blankets, instead of sheets, or the Munich system ; not eating at.d drinking at the same "time, or rather the allowing of a couple of hours to intervene between eating and drinking, the Schweninger system. A thin coat of pure glycerine applied to both sides of glass will prevent any moisture forming thereon, and will stay until it collects so much dust that it can not be seen through. Surveyors can use it to advantage on their instruments in foggy weather. In fact, it can be used anywhere to prevent moisture from forming on anything; and engineers will find it particularly useful in preventing the accumulation of steam a.s well as frost on their windows during the cold weather. . Paper, it is said, is taking the place of cedar in the making of lead jcncils, A novel use for paper has been found in the aianufacture of ;jas-pipes. In addition to being absolutely tight and smooth and much cheaper than iron, these pipes are of great strength, for when the sides are scarcclj-three-lifths of an inch thick they will stand a pressure of more than fifteen atmospheres. If buried under ground they will not be broken by settlement, nor when violently shaken or jarred. The material being a bad conductor of heat, the pipes do not readily freeze. Capt. G. B. Phillips, who is constructing the new wharf for the Lighthouse Department, says the Key West Democrat, thinks that be has at last solved a problem, the solution of which has puzzled civil engineers for some time; that is, he has found the reason why some parts of concrete work will remain intact and others will disintegrate a short while after being built in the water. While examining a concrete pillar last weck he noticed a peculiar color to the water, and he broke off a piece of the concrete just about to crumble away. U was placed on a piece of white paper and dried, which process took about a week, when, to his astonishment, he noticed that the paper was full ofanimacnle and the concrete perforated with small holes not larger than the jK)int of a cambric needle. A TOUCHING STORY. At a recent political gathering in Tnscumbia, Ala., General Cullen A. Uattle rela ted the following touching story in the course of his speech: During the winter of 1SG3-C4 it was my fortnne to be president of one of the courts-martial of the army of northern Virginia. One bleak December morning, w hile the snow covered the ground and the.wind howled around our camp, I left my bivouac lire to attend the session of court. Winding, for mites along uncertain paths, I at length arrived at the courtground, at Itound Oak church. Day after day i t had been our duty to try the soldiers of that army, charged with violation of military laws; but never bad I on any previous occasion b jon greeted by such anxious spectators as on that morning awaited the opening of court. 'use after case wes disKsed of, and at length the case of "The Confederate States vs. Edward Cooper" was called charge, desertion. A low murmur rose spontaneously from the battle-scarred sectators, as a young artilleryman arose from the prisoners' bench, aud. m response to the question, "Guilty or not guilty?" auswered, "Not guilty." The judge-advocate was proceeding to open the prosecution when the court, observing that the prisoner w as unattended by counsel, interposed and inquired of the accused, "Who is your counsel?" He replied: "I have no counsel." Supposing that it was his purpose to represent himself before the court, the judge-advocate was instructed to proceed. Every charge and sjecification against the prisoner was sustained. The prisoner was then told to iniroduce his witnesses. He replied: "I have no witnesses." Astonished at the calmness with which he seemed to be submitting to what be regarded as inevitable fate, I said to him, "Have you no defense? Is it possible that you abandoned .your comrades and deserted your colors in the presence of the enemy without any reason?" He replied: "There was a reason, but it will not avail me before a military court." I said: "Perhaps you are mistaken; ou are charged with the highest crime known to military law, and it is your duty to make known the causes that influenced your actions." For the first time his manly form trembled and his blue eyes swam in tears. Approaching the president of the court he presented a letter, saying as be did so, "There, general, is what did it." I opened the letter and in a moment my eyes filled with team. It was passed from one to another of the court until all had seen it, and those stern warriors who had passed with Stonewall Jackson through a hundred battles wept like little children. Soon as I sufficiently recovered my self-possession, I read the letter as the dtfense of the prisoner. It was in the words: Dkar Edward: I have always been proud of you, since your connection with the confederate army I have been prouder of

you than ever before. I would not have you 4o anything wrong for the world; butbefore God, "Edward, unless you come home, we must die! Last night I was aroused by liMJe Eddie's crying. I called and said: "What is the matter, Eddie?" and he said: "Oh. mamma, I'm so hungry!" And Lucy, Edward, your darling Lucy, she never complains, but she grows thinner and thinner every day. And, before God, Edward unless ! you come home, we must die. I Yont Mart. Turning to the prisoner, I asked: "What did you do when j-ou received this letter?" He replied: "I made application for a furlough and it was rejected; again I made application and it was rejected; a thinl time I made application and it was rejected; and that night as I wandered backward and forward in the camp thinking of my home, with the mihi eyes of Lucy looking up to me, and the burning words of Mary sinking in my brain, I w as no longer the confederate soldier, but I was the father of Lucy and the husband of Mary, and I would have passed those lines if every gun in the batter)' had been fired upon me. Mary ran out to meat me, her angel arms embraced me; and she whispered: "Oh! Fid ward, I am so happy; I am so glad you got your furlough !" She must have felt me shudder, for she turned as pale as death, and catching her breath at every word, she said: "Have you come without your furlough? Oh! Edward, go back! go back! Let me and the children go down together to the grave; but, oh, for heaven's sake, save the honor of our name;" And here I am, gentleman, not brought here b' military power: but in obedience to the command of Mary, to abide the sentence of your court." Every officer of that court-martial felt the force of the prisoner's words. Before them stood, in beatific vision, the eloquent pleader for a husband's and father's wrongs; but they had Jeen trained by the great leader, Ilobert K. Ie, to tread the path of duty though the lightning's flash scorched the ground beneath their feet and each in his turn pronounced the verdict guilty. Fortunately for humanity, fortunately for the confederacy, the proceedings of the court were reviewed by the commanding general, and upon the record was written: He A PQl" ARTERS, A. N. V. The finding of the court approved. The prisoner is pardoned and will report to his company. 11. E. Lek, General. An Alabama Kdi tor's Peril. I ln ion town Cauebrake News.l One night last week while riding quietly alonn the street lvetween Bush's store and the livery stable two dogs ran out and for a while it seemed as if both horse and rider would fall a prey to their viciousness. Fortunately our palfrey was too old and sedate to permit barking dogs to disturb her equanimity, consequently she jogged along quietly and ho harm was done. Had we been on our thoroughbred there might have been a first-class funeral in town next day. Tuesday night, while going home from church without horse, stick or weapon, a little fice disputed our passage and it required a Considerable amount Of sweet baby talk to induce him to allow us to go on in the even tenor of our way. The dog fraternity must by some means have gotten hold of the persistency with which we advocated a dog law before the Committee on Irdinance the other night. We are now more jersiiaded than ever that the whole lay out are nuisances and should be abated entirely.

Why Dickens Left Hi Wife. James A. Sühlens in the Chicago Tribuncl The real cause of Dickens' separation trom bis wife has never been made public, but it was pretty well known to his intimates, Buckstone of the Haymarket Theater, said : "It w as all the fault of Mrs. Dickens." Chapman (the publisher, of Chapman it Hall) simply observed in reply to my inquiry: "They were unfitted for each other." But Mark" Lemon was infuriate; he, the closest intimate, said: "Dickens was a scoundrel, and Mrs. D. has been taken under Mrs. Lemon's protection." The secret was revealed on the publication of Dicken's will. J he hrst bequest is SLOW to Miss T (Ternan), the daughter of a worthy woman and distinguished actress. It seems that Dickens, who had sent her to Italy for mussical education, became enamored of the girl, and she bore him three children. Nothing more need be said. It is estimated that the opposing candidates for District Attorney of Luzerne County, Pennsylvania, have promised 1,500 Postoffices to xtliticians, though there are only lo) to le tilled bv anybody. The "Favorite Prescription" of "female weakness ' and kin Dr. Pierce cures dred afl'ections. By druggists. NO FEE II I ESTiBusstn issu 1 1SS fi:iti UNTIL BETi tR I CniCAGO, ILL.CU2X 1. Tho Kegolar, Old-EsUTjUsaad rilTSICIAX & SURGEON 1 tili trcitiaj ritfc til emtMt SKILL AND SUCCESS 'Private, YOUNG5 mGED MEN and all persons who by their own acts of Imprudence or r oily at any period of life have brought upon themselves, the evil effects following closely upon the heels of transgression of the laws ol nature, should consult the celebrated Dr.Clarke at once. Remrmbert Ncrroni dtaeaM(with or without dreams) or debility and. loss of nvrr power treated scientifically by new methods with never failing- success. Jtjrlt makes no difference What you have taken or wtao has failed to cure you, Jt3-The terrlMe poisons of Syphilis and all bad blood and skin diseases, completely eradicated without mercury, ltenieinber that this on horrible disease, if neglected or improperly treatcd.curses the present and coming generations Ai-All unnatural discharges cured promptly without hindrance to business. No experiments. Uoth sexes consult confidentially. Age and experience Important. A written guarante of cur given in every caae undertaken. ySend t.vo stamps for celebrated works on Chronic, Nenoun, and Delicate Diseases. You have an exhaustive symptomatology by which to stud v your own ratf. Consultation, personally or by letter, free. OfUres and parlor private. Medicines sent everywhere secure fro.n exposure. Hours, S. to S; sum'.av, a to it. Address: F. D. CLARKE, M. D. 136 So. Clark St.. CHIC AGO. I'-U: Kifc.T i " & 1 " l.;il: - I. i ..i "MviÜU! W'' eONSUMPTIOfü-. I bT. positiv rvmody forth abo.. 41fsm; b iu Ml tboanaads ( cae ot ihm worst ktai nd of Inn . ndl haw tMD(ini). Inrixcd. m ttrone I n; fUn tn tifl)rc Iba I will im- TWO BOTTLK9 FK.EI, tor.thi with a U fjABLB TBEAT1S nm. thlidiNIM. tonn . Gl TO ÜEtli n Iferln s f ram t n a affect of youthful oe.i. T will .un,4 c.ii . v.ln.KItr.tiM n rvnll tba above diMss.aU direction for lf-eur, f T 01 chare. AddrvM Prof. F. O. FOWLK&.Moodua,Üona. FOR SALE Matthewg ratent Renewable Momorandura Book. Send for sample copy and price list. Samples sent postpaid to any addresa on receipt of M cents for So. l, or 40 cents for No. 2. Address 6NILNL COMPANY, lndi&napolii.

THE GREAT Unfailing Specif d 0 YUDTfl MC t Bitter ee bad taxte la Mirtk 01 M I UlilOp tongue coatpd whit itmttmS itn a brown fur ; mid la the back, sides, or joints often mistaken for Rheumatism ; aaar steasaea leaa mt anBvrtJt) sometimes natnea and waterteavh. or 'ad.ttsuiams aatulency and acid eructation ; bowels alternately costive and laa : bes4abet loss of memory, with a painful sensation of baring tailed to do something whih ourlt f have been done ; debility! low spirit; a thuk, yeilevr appearance of tlie skin ana eyes ; a dry cough ; f-ntt : test, lessness ; the unne is scanty and bih-culvrcd, and. if allowed to sand, deposits a sediment. SIMMONS LIVER REGULATOR Is reneraüy used in the South to arouse the Torpid Liver to a healthy action. Beiag entirely vegetable, no particular care is required while, using this medicine. I The Kesrulator acts without disturbance to the system, diet or occupation. It retaliate ther "ÜTer, and Nature relieving herself, causes thebile to act as the puree. The excess of bile bein jremoved, a tonic effect is produced, and kcalta is perfectly restored. It Begl&tes the Soleis ezi BercTesCCSSTIPATIOIT. It Is a CESTAET ZZ2Z FCS -5Y:rE?S2JU The Rejrnlator contains no quinine, mineral, or anything that will injure the most delicate patient, and is given with aafety and the happiest results to the most delicate infant. For ail dis. eases in which s laxative, alterative or purgative is needed it will give the most perfect satistaction. The Cheapest, Purest and Best Family Medicine in the World I f THERE IS BUT ONE SIH1KQNS " LIVER REGULATOR 1 See that you get the genuin, with tba red f3 Mfrvat it Wrapper, prepared o&ly by J. H. ZEILIN & CO., soli raopRiEroas, PHILADELPHIA, FA. A S H '" -v 5 m mm (BITTERS! CURES I AUDlStASLSCFIHC LI-VER KIDNEYS STOMACH AND BOWELS. ALL DRUGGISTS rF.ICElC3ULA3.fjj wäääasSSswv' Dyepepelav, General DeLilltn a7amdice, Habitual Constipation Liver Complaint. Sick Heavdacho.DUea.aed Kid nejB, Eto.t Etc. It contains only the Purest Drugs, among which may be enumerated FilCCT A 53 S Alt UD 122113, XLZZ2LZZ, 17ZS7. CCTA, t'.t, It elesnsej the system thoroughly, md t PURIFIER OP THE BLOOD I Unequal ed. It is not an intoxicating beTcrage, nor car It be used as such, by reason of its Cathartic Properties. PRICKLY ASH BITTERS CO. Sole Proprietors, ST. LOUIS AND KANSAS CITY William F. Heixek h. Attorney lor Plaintiff. SHERIFF'S SALE. By virtue of a certified copy of a decree to me directed, from thef'lcrkof the Superior Court of Marion County. Indiana, in a cause wherein Horace II. Fletcher is plaintiff, and William J. Itavis et a I. are defendants iC No. Sl.&so), requiring me tu make the sum of two hundred dollars it-Hoi, in manner as provided, for in said decree, with interest on aid decree and com.. I will expose at public sale, to tho highot bidder, ou SATURDAY THE 12th DAY OF i-KITEMELR, A. D. INN"., between the hours of 10 o'clock a. m. and 4 o'clock p.m., of Midday, at the door of the court-house of Marion County, Indiana, the rents and profits for a term not exceeding kevcu years, of the following real estate, to-wit: Lots number twenty-oue (21) and twenty-two (2-J) in Mock eipht in Maywood. a suburb to the city of India naoli;. Ik-in a part of tbe southeast quarter of se tiou twenty township fifteen (l.) north. rt!j:e ihre (Z) cat, being in Marion County, Indinn. If such rents and profit will not fell for a sufficient sum to NttiM'y aid decree, interest and costs I will, at the same time ami place, expose to publie sale the fee simple of suM real eswte, or so much thereof as may te sufliciotit to discharge said decree, interest and cost. Said sale will be made without anv rvlkf whatever from valuatioa or appraisement laws. GEORGE II. CARTER. Sheriff of Mariou County. August 17, A. D. ISSi. Feank H. LirsKiNO, Attorney for Plaintiff". SHERIFF'S SALE By virtue of a certified copy of a decree to me directed, from the Clerk of the Superior Court of Marion County, Indiana, in a cause wherein The Travelers Insurance Company is plaintiff, and Andrew J. chr.mbc n and others are defendants, (Case No. aI.'.'.M). requiring me to make the sum of four thousand seven hundred and fiity doilars, iM.7.".u. witti interest on said decree and costs. I will txiose at public sale, to the highest bidder, on SATURDAY, THE 2iTII DAY OF SEPTEMBER, A. ls between the honrsof 10 o'clock a. m. and 4 o'clork p. m., of aaid day, at the door of the Court House of Marion County. Indiana, the rents and profits for a term not exceeding seven years, of the following real estate, situate iu Marion Couuty, la the state of Indiana, to-wit : Lot numbered ninety CO), iu Julian, Johnson, Rawlcs and Hood's subdivision and addition to Irvington, & suburb of Indianapolis. If such rents and profits will not sell for a unfliCient sum to satisfy said decree, interest and cost, I will, at the same'timc and place, expose to public sale the fee simple of said real estate, or so much thereof as may le Mithclent to discharge said decree, interest and costs. Said sale will be made without anv relief whatever from valuatioa or-rpraiscmentlaws. sherilf of Marion Coun August 51st. A. D..1SSÖ. Commissioners Sale of Real Estate. Notice is hercv plveu that I will sell at pnblio auction, at the door of the Court House of Marion Countv. Indians, on the tirst day of October. the following dcscried real estate in the city of Indianapolis, Marion Coumr, Indiana, to-wit: Beginning at the northeast comer of the lot of two acres, marked "H" ou the approved v&t of the Town of Indianapolis, on tile in the Recorder S oni-eof Marlon Countv, indiaua; thence running south on the line of said lot seventy (7U) feet, thence w est parallel itU the north line of said lot ri'.tv :0) feet, thence north jarllel with the east line of said lot seventy 70 tcet to the northline of said lot, thence east tifty feet to the place of beginning. . , . . Tekvs or sale: One third cash, remaindc-in three equal installments of hix. twelve and eiRbUeu mouths, the purchaser t give his notes for the deferred payments, learing interest at the rate of 6 per cent., pa v hie In bank, with security. CHARl-ts R. MVKKS, Commixsioner. j East Washington buect

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