Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 31, Number 29, Indianapolis, Marion County, 19 August 1885 — Page 7

THE INDIANA STATE SENTINEL, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19, 1835

7

THE FATE OF THE FAST YOUNG MAN. -

WriTTEK IS THE IIXINOU TiTE MHO, Tt'fc curious, isn't it Billy. Tlie rinnen that twelvemonth may bring? 1-asi yer I was at Saratoga, As tiapoy aud rich as a kiu I wna raking ia pools ou the raee. And tetin the waiters with "ten." And iiing mint juleps by twilight; And to day I'm here ia the "Teu." "What led me to do It r What always I--mls men to destruction ami erime? The ltodigAl Son, whom you've read of, Has altered somewhat in his time. He spends his substance as freely As the Uiblieal fellow of old : Hut hen it gone he fancies The huks will turn to gold. Champagne, a box at the opera. Ilih -stepiers while fortune is flush. The pnssionate kbs of women. Whose cheeks have forgotten to blush The old. old story. Hilly. Of pleasures that end in tears The froth thut foams for an hour, The dregs that are tasted for years. Lat nieht as I sat here and poudered 0 the end of my evil ways, There arose lite a phantom before me The Tision of royhood days. I thought of my old home. Billy. Of the m nool-house that stood on the Mil. Of the brook that Bowed thro' the meadow, I can e'en hear its music still. Aya in I though of my mother. Of the mother who taught me to pray, Whose love was a pre "ous treasure. That 1 heedlessly cast away. 1 haw attain in ray visions The fresh-lipped, careless boy. To whom the future was boundless, And the past but a mighty toy. I thought of all this as I sat here Of my wasted and ruined liie And the panirs'of remorse were bitter; They pie reel my heart like a knife. It takes some courage. Hilly, To laugh in the face of fate. " Wbeu the yearning ambitions of manhood Are blasted at twenty-eiht. WIT AND PLEASANTRY. "Well, Samlxj, are you over your rheumatism?" "Tank you kindly, sir. I'se convalescing rapidly but I dou't get any better." Haqer"s liazar. ''My husband is very fomi of his relatives,' remarked one Toledo lady to another the other day. "lie is constantly rnuniblinjj in Lis sleep about his 'ante.' "Mr. Jenkin's wife must be awful jealous!' said Miss tsmith. "He gave nie hissvat in the horse-car, amürhen I thanked him he beed rue not to mention it." Boston Transcript. A Georgia Judge eaid "that the maxinm that innocence was to be piesmued until iiilt was proved had one exception, and that was when an Irishman was aivunnl of ao assault and battery, for then guilt was to be re.-uined." A lawyer addressed a jury oti aiae proved by t-tronj circumstantial evidence, repeated ot'teii tliat ninety-nine jru' I ty men should cajc rather than that one innocent man fbor.Ul suffer." The jude in charging the jury, told them the ninety-nine guilty had had long since escaped." It is wonderful that fools loys are. A charming widow owns a nice loy, and a man wants to le appointed deputy father to the Iad.lt wasonly last Sunday that while the man was strolling down the street with the lad. he a-kt d: "Buh, docs your mamma bang her hair?" and that fool boy answered: '"Oh. no; but you ought to have seen her bang dad's head. ('tiess the ministerdidn't know everything when he told pap to prepare to die. Prepare! why, he was aching to die." One day a very pious clerical friend, who Jiad consume! an hour of his valuable time in small talk, said to James Harper, the 1uMi-her: "Brother Harter, I am curious to ;now how you four men distribute the duties of the establishment between you." "John." said Mr. Harrer, good huinoredly, "attends to the finance?, Wesley to the corre(ondence, Fletcher to the r?ncra' har- . gaining with authors and others, and don't you tell anybody," he said, drawing his c hair still closer and lowering the lone of his voice, "I entertain the bores." An old lawyer in Paris had instructed a very young client of his to weep every time he struck the desk with his hand. Unfortunately the barrister forgot himself and struck the d'ok at the wrong moment. The client fell to sobbing and crying, "What it the matter with you?" asked the presiding judge. "Well he told me to cry as often as he truck the tabic." Here was a nice predicament; but the astute lawyer was equal to the occasion. Addressing- the jury he Mid: "Well, gentlemen, let nie ask you how you can reconcile the idea of crime in conjunction with such candor and simplicity? I await your verdict with the most perfect confidence." Criminal Iiaw Magazine. The Innocent Woman. "What will you take, madam?" said tli; foda-water drug clerk. "A little strawberry in mine," said she. "And you, sir?"' to the husband. "he' nie .ee," scanning the row of bottto which contained syrups. "O, ye, a little ppiritus vini ('alii i, if you please." And as they went off, after drinking their soda water, she said softly: "O, t'eorge, how much better that is than drinking nasty, horrid brandy, as you used to d before you joined the Murphy men, isn't it?" And he said he "rather guessed it was." The President' Knowledge of Women. A good story is told alxmt a Kentucky ("on-rrcs-ii!an's pretty daughter who visited Washington recently. She went up to resident C leveland upon the occasion of u White House recep ion and said: "I'll bet a horse you don't know who I am." The President was eijual to the occasion. "No." said he. I don't know who you are, but I'll l-et a horse you are from Kentucky.' "."shake." said the young lady. And she has been on grxl terms with the President ever since. Washington Letter. The Cunning Wife. Wife (at the breakfast table) What time was it when you came in last night, dear? Husband (with aching head) Wcll-cr, I don't know, exactly. Wife It must have been 3 o'clock. Were you detained at the office? 1 1 nsband Kr-y es. Wife (anxiously) I'm afraid vouare workins: too hard, dear. You ought not to conline voursell so closely to business. I am not surprised that you have a headache occasionally in the morning. You really must take tetter care of yourself. By the way, dear, an you let me have Jlushand Certainly, with pleasure. The Aztec Tongue. Hartford Post." The electric light vied the moon in illumi nating the veranda, hut notwithstanding their combined etlorts Algernon and A uUta found a convenient place where the rays of light could only be icrceivcd nidi recti v. "Ai'.'V," said she, "this must be a pood deal like the delightful evenings of Mexico, when the Aztecs ruled. "1 daresay; but who were the Aztecs, my dearT' IonTt 5-0U know? Why, they were the people that said TattenaziKpiiliztu when they meant kiss." "Jid they? Well, give us a "TattcnanilUiimii : ' J'or a moment the moon and the electric lijilit were eclipsed. Without a Comp. ' I Boston Keeord.) New England stories have a racine.-s of their own smacking of the soil, and in their rusticity olten embodying the traiN which eo to make up the pnritian character. Lssex ountr abounds in these, and they deserve TCf oruin?ft3 illustrative 01 their tune and eeneralion. One of the .ons of old Ipswich, himself erav-hairc-d, was thus relating the character istic?, gf raieutaldiscipliu n'Ü'.UvbUüiSliu

his youth. '-One evening." mi 1 he. "I ha I come under my father's wrath, an J he sternly ordered me to tio to bed. Bed was in the loft of a log house, and I complained I had no light. "Go to bed in the dark," was my father's answer, and I ciimtted the ladder and made my way along the timber. 110 Mooring being laid. A bright idea struck me. and I thought I could make one more appeal from mp fate. I cried duwu : "It's so dark I can't find the bed!" H)uick as a Hash came the answer: "Get as near to it as you can and lie down." It is unnecessary to say that the bed was found and not lost again until moruinj. Agla Andy. lArkansaw Traveler. Colonel Will Beasley, who has just returned from the mountain districts of Arkansas, was determined not to be outdone by the squatters. "One day," said the Colonel, "I stopped near a cabin and asked of an unconcerned-looking man who sat on a fence: ''How far is it fiom here to Jones' ferry?' "How fur is what?" "The road." "What road?" "To Jones' ferry." "Io 3-0U want to go thar?" "Yes, or I wouldn't ask hew far it is.'' "Didn't know but you was out surveyin' the country." "He leaned over the fence, spit at semething on the ground, and, seemingly, dismissed the suhjec t from his mind. "Come, wake up," said I, "but he paid no attention to me. Then I thought it would be a pood idea to startle him. "My friend," aid I, "did you know that Andrew Jackson was dead?" "He jumped off the fence and shouted : " 'Mose, fetch me my gun here quick. Here's a blamed feller 'lecshneerin' agin old Andy.' " POOR TOM MARSHALL..

Unhappy Itetnlnirencea of the ltrilliant KentnckUn Iii Life in St. Paul and ': lllr. Chicago Herald Washington Letter. It was in the fall of 1SÖ0, after the Indian summer of the Northwest had passed and gone, and the air had become sharp and chilly, when Tom Marhall made his appearance at St. Paul. Minn. He was unseasonably, indeel, wretchedly, clad, presenting every apj-earaiue of straitened circumstances, but the good people of that city, nevertheless, made him welcome, and expressed satisfaction with his announcement that he intended to lecture upon the lives and characters of ticorjre Washington and Henry Clay. The writer made his acquaintance a't that period, and, iu common with his colleagues of the press, and thecitizensgenerally, busied himself to induce appreciative audiences to his addresses. Although unkempt, unshaven and untidy, bearing the apin-arance of a man with whom fortune had dealt neither gently nor generously, Tom Marshall held himself proudly. Straight as an arrow, he strode through the streets buttoned to the chin in a drap d' ete coat, leaving to imjertinent conjecture tne presence or absence of a shirt, yet, neverthebss. the very incarnation of dignity and assu mined sui-eriority. The St. Paul cople with their accustomed hospitality, fraternized with him in traditional Western fashion, and w a consequence the bowl flowed freely to t lie music of Mr. Marshall's superior conversational attractions. Within a brief icriod everybody came to know him, and as there were many noted characters resident at rt. Paul at that particular period, the flints of their association came together, and many Promethean sparks were thereby struck and scintillated. When the evening arived for the delivery of his lecture upon U'orge Washington. Mr. Marshall apienred sadlv under the inliueme of "the rosy." Nothing abashed, however, he orated ujon the life, character and ser vices of the later Pa true in glowing ienods and ornate rhapsodies, but interspersed with occasional commonplaces which grievously marred the etiect of an eloquence almost divine. His succeeding address upon Henry Clay was a repetition of the previous lecture in all it beauties of conception on the one hand and attendant coarseness on the other, and the audiences naturally became indignant, if not disgusted. Having reaped a plenteous harvest of dollars, the proceed of his lectures, he forthwith proceeds to roam the town night and dav in a continuous orpie. His variable moods, however caused him rather to lx? avoided than courted, for no one could divine whether his own greeting would be received or rej-lled. One moment he was the embodiment of courtliness and pentility. and the next he became qamd-onie and inultmg. Asa consequence of ineoritv. he became involved in endless broils in disreputable quarters, and, considering the rough character of hi quondam associate, it was strange he csea ?! without serious injuiy, or, indeed, with his life. Occasionally some sympathizer would rescue him from his wal low and take him home to sober up. 1 Hiring these intervals of pood behavior the writer enjoyed several interviews with Mr. Marshall, which, although sometime marred bv fierceness, were, collective! v consid ered, charming to a degTee. He displayed marvelous richness of words and a diction and phraseology which seemed as if all the choice exotic in the conservatory ot language had been culled to crown him. From out his mouth dropped carls, rubies, and diamonds, and the nobility of his feature reflected in pri-m the sparkling of these colloquial jewels. Meeting him in the street one day hestated he had jut learned a lesson in politeness. He met un Indian, he raid. lad in all the gorgeous array of paint, feathers, trinkets and blanket. Mnnk with the apparent modesty of the Indian's presence, his baud involuntary sousrht his jKH-kct and drew forth a silver half-dollar, which he protU-red as a token of j-cace and admiration. The al original took theoin, silently lwed his thanks, ami with the combined dignity of Sipio and Jugurtha, strode away. "It w;us the mo.-t magnificent specimen of tint 11 tore I couitlincss ard native grace I ever saw." quoth Mr. Marshall. He was much disturbed, however, when informed that Indians were great beggars, and their cupidity knew 110 bounds. One cold stormy evening Marshall put in an ai l-earam e at the Winslow House, evidently suffering the effects of a protracted debauch. He was the very personification of wretchedness ami sufiering, and apjroaching the stove, then sending forth its grateful heat, he held his benumbed skinny hands over it, shivering to the very marrow. All he said was "Poor Tom's cold!" and the pucsts seated in the foyer gazed tim the modern King bear with eyes of distressful sympathy. In a few minutes he thawed out Miait t ntly to jx er about in aqaaint, inquisitive manner when observing a group of persons seated near by he exclaimed ; "(Jentlemen. I do not intend tobeoffensive, but may I be hanged if I ever in my life saw so many hook-nosed men together a.t one time!" Involuntarily the guests took each other's dimensions, and sure enough it bapened that all of their noses hereof pronounced Komam architecture. Tom Marshall happily broke the significant silence by loudly exclaiming: "Landlord, what time do you have supper?'' "upcr at seven," laconically replied the ltost. the tlo k wdntinz to a ouarter to7. A dead silence felt on all around, which, as the dock struck 7, was interrupted by Mr. Marshall, who, thrustiug his hand into his jacket, extracted a set of false teeth, and, snapping them viciously into hi mouth, shouted: ".Now, brins on your supper and be d d to you!" I fow Tom Marshall managed to get away from 8t. Paul nobody ever knew, but the next time the writer met him was at Nash ville, Tcnn., durinc the spring of 1'J1. at'ter the defeat ofllood"s forces bv(ien. (ieorge H. Thomas. He was in like condition as when at St. Paul, bearing marked traces of dissipation and in distressed circumstance. He was again befriended; and the theater en gaged for him to deliver a lecture upon Charlemagne. The house wa filled from pit U Uo&ie.a; $1 a, iiwd, and, X'i tiiQ surprise. 0,

everybody, lie was duly ober. He opened his uiscourse upon the French soldier-monarch by paying glowing tribute to his virtues, and quoted his dying adjuration to bid son 1-ouis, "Love your eople as your children, choose your magistrates and covernors from those who believe in God will prerserve them from corruption, and see that your life be blameless." At this juncture he drew a comparison with Napoleon Itonaparto. and thereafer the lecture was devoted to th Uonaparte family, totheutterexclusion of Charlemagne, w hose name was heard no more. . He-enforced with several hundred dollars he abandoned the lecture rieM and returned to the wine cup. His next appearance was at a meeting of New England mn celebrating Porefathers" Tay at Nashville, upon whom he intruded his unwelcome and inebriated presence. He refused to retire, and proceeded in language more forcible than polite to denounce the Pilgrim Pathers. Plymouth

l!ock and all that thereunto apiertained. "You infernal idiots," he exclaimed, "you know nothing of the history of your countrv.

Celebrating Forefathers' Pay, are you? The fathers left Kngland in order that they mignt worship C;1 in their own way and make everybody else worship just as they did. What about your blue laws, your "Salem witches a ud persecution of Quakers? What about Itoger Williams, whom the Puritan fathers banished and who sought freedom of conscience elsewhere ?' He was finally brought to bay by a policeman who lodged him in the calaboose. Ueturnlng to his home in Kentucky shortly after this epLsode, he died near Versailles. Woodford county, September 22, 1S04, aged 04 years. RELIGIOUS INTELLIGENCE AND INCIDENT. No n an is more severely punished than he is subject to the w hip of his own renuorse. beneca. The New York Times predicts that 7,000 barreled sermons will be made useless by the change of one text in the Revised Old Testament. The life-long dream of the late Sir Moes Monteriore. the eminent Hebrew philanthropist, was to see Palestine the seat of a Jewish empire and Jerusalem its capital. It is said that on a recent Sunday in St. I-ouis KUXx) people went to church. 40.0(H) to Buffalo Pill's show. 'JO.ocO to base ball frames. -TO,Ol0 to beer gnrdens, and ."i.Ooo to hear gcrsoll blaspheme. One earnest gaze upon Christ is worth a thousand scrutinies of t!f. Tlie man who bcl:olds the croi-s, and beholding it weeps, cannot le really blind nor perilously selfignorant. Iean Vaughan. It is not stately walls nor beauteous spires that tell for Christ; nor eloquent sermons, nor artistic anthems, but lives that are clean, hearts that are glad with the light of Christ, and hands that are loaded with mercy. llcv. W. C. Merritt, president of Oahu college. Honolulu, says religions affairs in the Sandwich Islands are in a bad way, and that they will likely continue so until the islands are annexed to the Cnited States and become a home missionary held. The reason why we find ao many dark place in the Pible is. for the most iart, because there ai e so many dark places in our heart. It lelongs to the nature of this book that it was written for all men of every time, ant! for all the exjerien es of each single human heart. Tholuck. I.'ecently high pontifical mass was celebrated at Copenhagen lor the first time since the days of the Reformation, such a service having heretofore been forbidden by law. The Catholics in Penmark now number alut .".000 souls, with twenty-six priests, f whom seven are I anes. The sum of what we would say is, let Methodist be Methodists. Let them adhere to their own dictrines, ritual, usages, and method. Nothing envious is intended with relation to other Christian churches. Their systems suit them; let them stick to them, and may (Jol proser them. Ours suits us; let us stick to it, minding rather than trying to mend it. Nashville Advocate. It i reported that a crowd of saloon-keep ers in Creston, Iowa, went to the house of one of the members of the Congregational Church at that city, armed with a rope with which to hang him, but the evening was the one upon which the church menibers prayer meeting was held and the sought-for nian was there considering the words found in John xvii. 14. "The world hath hated them becaHse they are not of the world." There is a sadness in the seriousness with which Mr. Ueecher has been let alone in his expositions of evolution, the announcement of which he made w ith an air of captivating assurance. The fact that be had been delivering them has been duly chronicled, and extracts from them have appeared now and then, but for the most part the world has moved along as if to say that it did not make much difference whether he talked or what he said. United Presbyterian. The new statistics of the Southern Presbyterian Church are reganlod as very encouraging. Sixty-six new churc hes were established within the past year. There are thirteen synods, sixty-nine presbyteries, a gain of one; 10ig ministers, a los ot seven; communi cants, WV-'Ul. a gain of :.!!:;. The total eff contrbutions is $1,017. TO.'!, showing a falling off. which wa chieily, however, in congrega tional and miscellaneous cxienditure. and not so much in benevolent collections. The Independent delivers the following plain talk to the 1 wellers at Asburv Park and Ocean Grove: "What kind of people are these Asbury l ark and Ocean drove settlers? A year or two ago honored negro gmsts of the National Kducational Convention could not get dinner at the chief hotels in Ocean Grove without consenting to have it serreci in the kitchen or in a separate room, where high- aste wlr'tes could not be contaminated by them. Now Asburv Park wants to close its gates against men of color. It does not prooe to shut out gamblers, thieves prostitutes and other immoral persons but to bar out a whole race simply because they are black. We would as soon have the society of leiers as that of men who could advocatc'such outrage." 'People or Monopoly? The American. The greatest of the issues involved in this question still press for settlement. Some progress ha been made in studying the nature of the question, and the ground i thus better prepared for an adjustment of the balance between popular ami corjiorate rights, when the time for it shall come as come it certainly will yet, practically, the situation is little changed from that of ten or even twenty years ago. Meanwhile the enormous increase of capital available for corporate uses, and the development in a corresponding ratio of the skill and wer w ith which incorporated forces ae w ielded, make tne pressure on that side a growing rather than a diminishing one. It is not necessary to illustrate this by any sjxn ial examples. Many of them will naturally occur to the reader. And we doubt if any thoughtful person, whatever his relations may Ik? to the great corjxration, an! however much be may le concerned in them, can feed himself satisfied to let the drift of power and control go much further in their direction. This is not a country ruled by monopolies any more than it is one where the successors of George HI. are to be the executive element in the Government; indeed the injury to be done by the hitter would be less serious than b'y the former. What the precise terms of the adjustment may be we do not undertake to fore-shadow. It is enough ut this moment to indicate the gravity of the question, and to remark the increasing force with which it presse for attention. The time must come to sc riouIy consider it, and attempt its settlement. And meantime every step to ward increasing the control ot great corporations ami multiplying the tendency to mo nopoly ought tobe watched and checked. The decisions of tlie courts have settled pome ervat principles in the interest of the people, and uion these and upon constitutional and legal provisions that protect the puinic rignts. a tiini stand should be mad. wherever a conÜivULrcateui, . - . ,

THE VOICE OF THE RAIN.

EY KATUF.r.ISE H. GRIXKR. Jlernly fa '.Is tlv raia ! List to the silvery chime it:y tiuklir. uvoii the wlii Liw .in , Its evt, melodious rhyme. Tenderly falls the raia l'lxa the lrior'iiiif tlwer; Aid they lift tlieir lemitiful hea li agaii Deueatu the cooiing shower-. Dreamily itiUs the rain Ami tile .' teu days oioof Come trojii!i hack with tlK olden refrila, Played by th- "raiu on the rtwf." Sweetly sounded the rain. As it"lrip from ort' the eaves. When it falls upou tlie r!peniu? graia, And palters t;iou the leaves. Mournfully falls the rain I "lon the Kravc of our dead. And oh! a we list to the Foleuin Mrail How !wd are the tears we shed. Drearily falls the rain! Into each life it must fall (pain Some days must le fraught with sorrow and But Uud giveth strength lor all. In mercy the rain droppeth down, Iiotli on the just ana unjust With uiorious fjlessin our lives it doth Crown, Aud keepeth our hearts from rust. The lkvltlmorean. TABLE GOSSIP. There is not a moment without some duty. The Pocahontas story is true after all. io says John Kaston Cooke. Great bridges are made for wie men to cross and great foI to jump from. Gentian proverb: "A handsome younj woman is always an ugly old one." The Infalibility of the Pope was proclaimed by Pius IX. fifteen years ago, July Li. William I. Ilowells says that no woman can live in the same house" with a genius. A "forced com plexion" is what they call it in London now, when it is kept in a box. Our Home should be a dwelling place fosnuls rather than a mere lodging place for bodies. Miss lvra 'White, a woman's righter, wants to make divorc es easier for women and harder for men. It is not until we have pased through tlje furnace that we are made to know ho'w much dross was in our composition. Iu Cleveland there is an establishment that makes a business of lending crape lonnet?, veils, and black dresses for funeral occa-ions. Horse-radii-h scraped in sour milk or buttermilk is said to be one of the best mediums for the removal of freckles. Apply two or three times a day. On learning of the scandal in which Sir Charles I'ilkc is involved, his liance, Miss Mark Patti-on. telegraphed him from India to muke their engagement public. "With moderation or desire one could seldom feel sMr; without it one could never be content. It is indispensihle to happiness. What t'ollv to torment ourselves with artificial want?" This astute proverb comes from India: ''It must always be the women who are in the wrong, and not the men, because men have reserved to themselves the right to decide what is right and what wrong." Plaut blessings, and blessings will bloom; Plant hate, and hate will grow; You can sow to-day to-morrow will brin? The blossom that proes what sort of a thing Is the seed the ecl that you sow. A novelty in legislation is found in a bill now tending in the Georgia legislature. w inc h proposes to lew an annual tax ot js-'.oU. on all bachelors in the State and use the money in educating fatherless children. White is now worn at the neck and wrists in the deepest mourning, as it is con sidered verv unwholesome for black black crape to come in contact which the skin, on account of us dves, and because ot the small Hakes that escaje from it. "Mi Leslie spanked Miss Hubbard hard for two." savs an Knglish newspaper reitort of a cricket match between the pupils of two females seminaries. It is evident that. the language of cricket must be mended if ladies are to day the game on this side of the water. "How does it happen that there are so manv old maids among the school teachers?" asked a rejHrter of Superintendent Jasper, the other dav. "Uecause school teachers are. as a rule, women of sense, and no woman will give up a 5W josition for a $10 man," was the reply. As in the natural order, there i shadow ami sunshine, storm and calm, so in spiritual things there are seasons of quiet and un rest, pence and anxietv. lut as in nature come the erfect fruition and plentiful liarVests, so to the spirit will come the crowning and eternal rest. There are "07 institutions in the world for the education of deaf-mutes. Germany ha ninety of tl France sixty-seven. Great l'.i itain forty-six. and the Tinted States thiitv-eight. llecent careful estimates place the number of these unfortunates in existence at 8,C00,oo0There are no hod carriers in Germany. Pricks are passed by hand. The higher up the brick la vers are. the more men are re quired to toss the bricks. Two men to a storv is about the average, with enough more to lead from the front of the building to the place where the bricks are needed. VARIETIES. The favorite drink of the girl. Pop. New York State has ll.Oou lawyers. The way of the wicked The road to Canada. Glass windows were first ued in the year 11 0. Milwaukee has six million of dollars invested in been On account of the hard times coats are worn longer than usual. New York's Fifth avenue i declared the richest street in the world. A million and a quarter of cats are annually killed for their seal skin. The newspaiKTS and their outfits in the United States are valued at Si'.NvViOj.W.' The jails and the penitentiaries in the United States contain over öo.ooo criminals. A man ninety years old has just been taken to jail in Chicago. The Chicagoan never reforms. The number of children of school age enrolled in the United States is estimated at ll.ooo.too. The secretary of the Virginia base-ball Association lias gone oti" with :40,noo. Is this what the loys call "out on a foul?"' Wife "Don't bother me now; untwist your own suspender; we will surely lc late. It's now time for the first dance, and I am nowonly half undrecsed for the ball." Kuropc seems to look after its surplus females, after all, and with all its want of humanity. Over 8,000 women are employed in the railroad offices in Austria alone. Less thaw fifty years ago it cost for a single letter carried not over thirty miles, cents; less than eighty miles, 10 cents; less tLau 150 mile?, cents; 400 miles, r cents. Xow the hoy who "sn t swimming," and who wishes none to douht That he's truthful, cant imagine why his shirt is ' inside out. The North woods mosquitoes have sampled the President, and it will be interesting to note whether mugwump diet disagrees w ith a mosquito as well as with a Democratic office-seeker. A Pittsburg woman, who watched two ruLTilist. who were euitors, lik:ht sixteen round for her hand, wisely concluded to take the fellow w ho got whipped. He was easier to handle. A curious fact in connection with crema tion is the amount of asltes received from a body and the disoosition made of them. The tun hinest lioilii-s. rremated in I'hiladelvhia , Tl'vigUcvl iW pouad, vach, tUj &cj weiujn

4 -pounds 8 oumfs, and 5 pound 41-4 ounces respectively. The largest ercentage of ashes thus far received was from a body washing lso pounds, and w hose ashes weighed '5 ouuds 11 onnces. . There were. 725 deaths from cancer in New York City last year, and since 6,012 deaths from the same disease. The number is steadiiv on the increase, those of 1S75 having been "but 410. In 18S2 there were 732. The new street car rail which has come into use in Kuropean cities and is seeking to be introduced in America, is level with the roadway and has a narrow crevice in it in which the wheel with a narrowed edge runs. At a negro wedding when the minister read the words 'dove, honor and oley," the groom interrupted him and said: "Kead that again, sah; read it wunce mo, so's de lady kin ketch the full solemnity of do meanin. Ise been married befo." "I think this Sunday ball playing is very sinful." It ought to be stopped." "So it ought. Why last .Sunday two or three of us were out fishing, and the players in the next field made such a racket that wedidu't catch a single fish." Philadelphia CalL Uncle Joseph Jledill having rK)kedfiinat New Y'ork for its slowness is raising funds for its Grant monument, the World retorts: "There is little doubt that Chicago will have its monument up and mortgaged before New Y'ork gets through appointing committees." They will not. who could. They can not. who would. And, alas, many dare not Thus runneth this world's plot. From the German. "Did you ever notice how a woman takes the cork out of a lottle?" asked an exchange. No, sir. We let the woman notice bow we take the cork out of the bottle. No gentleman will stand idly by and let a woman struggle to get a cork out of a bottle. It takes her too long. Professor Herlert Smith and his arty of naturalists from IJaltimore, who have been for some years in Brazil, have made a collection of ftO.UOO specimens of insects, birds and animals in eighteen proquinces of the empire. They will explore the valley of tlie Amazon this fall. Some of the coast negroes of Africa still worship the shark and regard its stomach as the road to paradise. They oiler it poultry and goats two or three times a year, and at least once a year try to propitiate it bv offering a ten-year-old child. The little victim is k'tind to a "post in the sands at low water, and, as the tide rises, mingles its shriek and screams with those of its mother until the ravenous fishes drag it out of sight.

CURIOUS, USEFUL AND SCIENTIFIC. The American Association for the Advancement of Science begin their annual meeting at Ann Arbor Aug. 2"J. The scientific American states that plush goods, and all articles dyed with aniline colors, faded from extosure to ligbt, will look bright as ever after being sponged with chloroform. The commercial chloroform will answer the purpose very well, and is much less exiensive than the purified. The change of climate is having a dele terious influence upon the Egyptian obelisk in Central Park. Fifteen veafs, savs Professtir Kggleston of Columbia College, will decompose it beyond repair, if it is not placed under shelter, lhe climate of hgvpt is dry and here there is excess of moisture, as well as extremes of heat and cold. Four North pole expeditions are preparing to leave Germany as early as ossible next spring, very much to the disgust of those who can nit see an' Use in such undertakings and who would like to have polar ex plorations prohibited bv law. llic object is to distribute the four partiesaround the pole so that the lcst information can be ob tained. Maj. J. W. Powell, in speaking about prehistoric America, says that in his opinion there has never been presented one item of evidence that the mound-builders were a people of culture sujterior to the tribes that inhabited the Mississippi valley 10) years ago. The evidence is complete that those tribes have built mounds within the historic ericxl ; and no mounds of earthworks have A simple way to preserve the color of flowers is said to be as follows: After fastening a wire to each stem, dip the Mowers separately into a clear solution of gum arabic, suspend them on a line, and when dry they will be found covered with a glazing interfering very slightly with their beaut v, at the same time preventing the air from destroying the color. The report does not state how "long the dowers thus treated will keep. Bees in unaccustomed localities, according to observations made recently, are timid and find honey with difficulty, but they become rapidly accustomed to their surroundings. Flowers of subdued colors are selected by them instead of those of a more brilliant hue. Blue and violet seem to be tlie most attractive, and bright yellow the least so. M. Fabre has found that many bees are able to return to their nests when carried to a distance. It is suggested by the chairman of the section of statistical science of the American association that a subject of special investigation and discussion at the Ann Arbor meeting shall be "The daily ration of the food of working people in ditferent sections of the country. (1) Of what does it now consist ami what does it cost'.' (-)' What proiortion does this cost of food bear to the total cost of living? (') What constitutes a standard ration! (I) What kin! of foods contain the largest proportion of proteineat thelowost cost? (5) In what manner can a variety of daily rations be made up. of which shall contaiiithe requisite quantities of nutriment? (() Can a schedule of rations at low cost be presented, whereby much of the present waste of food, or of money exend?d in its purchase, may he saved? (7) In what way can infonnation be distributed upon this subject so as to enable working jeople to use true economy in the purchase and .reparation of food?'"' If all these questions receive attention the meeting of the section will be of great economic interest to everybody. It is well known that all plants give off moisture from their haves, even though this be invisible to tne. eye, just as our skin inspires aivays perspiring, 1 hough Lie sweat may not stand in drops. Calculations have been made as to the amount of water thus expired by plants. A sunflower, ' feet (J inc hes high, with Ö.UIG square inches exposed to the air, gives off every twelve hours from twenty to thirty ounces of water to the surrounding atmosphere. Most of the common agricultural plants, such as wheat, beans, peas and clover, exhale during the five months of growth more than 2u times their dry weight of water. The Cornelian cherry is still more remarkable. In the course of twenty-four hours it exhales water equal in weight to twice that ot the whole shrub. Naturally the degree cf light, warmth and dryness of the air effects the amount of fluid given off as well as the age and texture of tlie leaf. However, a calculation of the amount of fluid perspired by an acre of cabbages is noteworthy. If the cabbages are planted in rows of eighteen inches apart and eighteen inches from each other, it is estimated that in the course of twelve hours, more than ten tons of water will be exhaled by their fleshy leaves. Hendricks nmi Reform. ' ' St. Louis Republican. Vice f resident Hendricks' views on civil service reform and other vital topics of the day are always of interest and value. His statement to the Republican's Indianapolis correspondent that civil service reform will never cause division in the iVmocratie party is a timely assertion of a self-evident truth. The teachings of I cm6cracy are so t lcTar on this subject that it is imiossiblo to misunderstand them or to misconstrue them unless for a purjose. The reform in the civil service demanded by Icmocrats is one which will make the servants of the people directly responsible to the constitutional will of the people; which will effectually check the lurther

which will maintain this government as a

government of the people, and not of bureaus set over the ieople. Democrats will steadily maintain that the agency through which reform is to be accomplished in the future, as in the past, is the ballot in the hands of the people; that when the judgment of the people has been constitutionally declared at the polls, it must be carried out: that their right to change their servants at their pleasure must not and can not be imaired. lhere can be no reform not based on these principles, and the Democratic party can never leave these principles without ceasing to be Democratic. Mr. Hendricks prophesies well in saying that Democrats will not divide on the question of reform. Same Way Here. Bofeton Courier. Customer Have vou thesomr. "We Won't Go Home Till Morning?" Clerk of music store No, sir: it is out of print. customer v ill you be likely to Have a copy soon? C'lerk No:. we won't print anr more. There's no demand for the song. customer hy, l thought it was a very popular song. clerk It used to be, but the saloons close at 11 o'clock now. Biography of Mr. Whitney. Washington Post. Secretary Whitmy is the ideal Cabinet of ficer. He has youth with all its vigor and elan; he has experience with its wisdom; he has industry with its propelling tower. He is courteous to everybody; never peevish or prostrated by overworK. though always busy; not rendered vainglorious by his position. but approachable by all. There is a wholesome and refreshing air sifrrounding him. He is zealous without parade. He is a distinct and conspicuous success. A Wicked City. "When I cum to New Y'ork," said a countryman, "I allers go round holdin' on to my poeketbook like grim death. You can't tell what minute some feller may rob you. This city is full of thieves," '"Do you carry much money with you?'1 'I've got about SiiOO now. I told an old boss this mornin' that I slicked up for $200 that wasn't wnth $75. I see in a minute that the feller I sold him to didn't know mithin' 'bout bosses."' Oftener if Xeeessary. f Uatimore Amcrii-au. Two hundred and fifty appointments were made on Monday. If this is the result of tornadoes, the I iemocrats will want the country devastated seven times every week. There's a Man Named Tilden, Omaha Herald. 0 rover Cleveland is the onlv man now living who was ever elected to the Tresidencv. Horsford's Arid Phosphate, ONK OF THK l!KST TOXIC. Dr. A. Atkinson. Professer Materia Medica and Dermatology in College of Physicians and fcurgeons. Jul ti more. Md., ays: ' It makes a pleasant drink, and is one of our hest tonics in the shape of the phosphates iu soluble form." Men who suffer through indiscretions, re member Allen's Brain Fomi restores former vigor to brain and lody. Sd; ( for $.1, at druggists, or by mail from J. H. Allen, 315 iirst avenue, N. 1. Vital Questions! Ask the most eminent physician Of any school, what is the best thing in the w orld for quieting and allaying all irritation of the nerves, and curiug all forms of nervous com plaints, giving natural, childlike refreshing sleep always? And they will tell you unhesitatingly "Some kind of Hops!!!' CHAPTER I. Ask any or all of the most eminent physicians: "What is the best and only remedy that can be relied onto cure all diseases of the kidneys and urinary.organs: ich as Bright's disease, dialetes, retention, or inability to retain urine, and all the diseases and ailments peculiar to Women" "And they will tell you explicitly aud emphatically Buchu:!'" Ask the tame physicians "What is the most reliable and surest cure for all liver diseases or dyspepsia; coustipatiou, indigestion, biliousness, malaria, fever, etc., aud they will tell you: Mandrake! or Dandelion!!!!" Hence, when these rvnitdics are combined with others equally as valuable. And compounded into Hop Bitters, such a wonderful and mysterious curative power is developed, which is to varied in it operations that no disease or iiMicalth can possibly exist or resist ts power, and yet it is Harmless for the most frail woman, weakest invalid or smallest child to use. CHAPTKR II. "Patients "Almost dead or nearly dying" For years, and given up by physicians, of F.rlKht's and other kidney dh eases, liver cmtilx in is, severe coughs, called cou&unipüuu, have teen cured. Women gone nearly crazy!!!!! l"i m Sony of uei'ralsia. ervonvncs. wakefu'lics. und varioc. diseases peeuliar to women. Ivep'e are drawn out of tdiape from excruciating I'Hi gs of iheuiiwii.-ii). i '.''la minatory and chronic, t sneering frt-rrj scr il'ula, J.r)s!jelas: "Sidtrhemn. blxd poisoniiur. dyspepsia. Indigestion, and. in fact, a'.uiosi all diseases frail' Nature is heir to Have been -und by llnp Bitters, proof of which con be found iu every neihhoxhuud iu the known world. None genuine vitlu'iit a bunch of green II ps on the hue label. Slum nil the vile, poisonous stull with "Hop" or Hops"" iu their uacie. iiinjLizaniititTrirnt.iaikkitiiijRi a o o .0 o o o ArHLomoxos Is a novel word to most reopla who peak the Eniiah laorua?e. The Greek used ft centuries ao, meauia by it "THE PIlIZE-BEABEJi." Atiilophoros is the first and only medicine which has carried off the prize as the perfect remedy for Rheumatism and Neuralgia. like two relentless tyrants they tare for igea bold their euferiag victims ia aa iron jrrip. These poor suff erera have been Mt elave In the power of their oppressors ATHLOPHOE08 has entered the arena, enraged in conflict with the monsters, and won the Tictory. As tho com ietj tors In the Um-iaa fruuea of old could in only by tue nioKt severe trial cf Ability and endurance, bo ATHLornosos bos vxn the rriz. not alone by trirlmr temporary relief, but by brimrintr sa endiiriiw core, aa well, to thrwe who have suffered the excruciating agonic of lJieuiu. tism&nl Neuralgia. ATnixrnoncw is a novelty, not only in name, but in its elements. It is cnlike any preparation yd introduce!. O 0 0 9 ATTu.orncnofl acts on the blood, muscles and Joint, removlnir the poison arul acitl from the blood, carrua Un m out of the yjtcm. Athlophckcs Ls pat up with consummate f kill, and contains nothir.r that can iosiLbly harm the most dt&csto com&tutioa. Now, do jouwant to EuHcr oa and en! or do jrou want to be well? "Athlophoros" WILL Cure You If you cannot get Athiophokos of your rtnipglst, we wUl Bend It express paid, on receipt ot regular price one dollar per bottle. We prerer that you buy It from your druirtl'"t. but it ha hasn't It, d ) not be persuaded to try something else, but order at once from us as directed. ATKL0PH0r.CS CO.. 112 WALL ST., KEW TOF.K.

II Hi R.B.KENT-J HAIWtACTUICK LOUISVILLE .KY. KENT'S PILLS Ä Biliousness, Bii Breath, Indigestion, Csnstipitisa, Sick Htaiacha, Dyspspslt,' Stonatb Troubles, Hnrttin, Urn Difficulties, and alt disease of the Stomach A Borne. s. Fr sale by all Drucflsta, Price 25 cents a boa. DR. JOHH BULL'S Ith's Tonic Syrup FOR THE CURE OF FEVER and AGUE Or CHILLS and FEVER, AND ALL MALARIAL DISEASES. TTha rmritftT nf thi r1hrataA mad" In a jtiitly claims for it a raperiority over all rem-1 edieieTer ottered to tne pttDiio tor tne ba.ii., CEETAIK. SPEEDY and PESMANElfT curt of Artie and Fe ver.or Chill 1 and Fe ver, wheth er of short or lone standing. He refers to the ntirs Western and Southern country to bear him testimony to the truth of the assertion that in no case whatever will it fail to care if tne directions are strictly followedand carried out. Ia a threat many cases a single dose has teen lafflcient for a care, and wbole fmilies have been cured by a single bottle, with a perfect restoration of the nnenl health. It is. however, pmdent.and in every case more cer! tain to cure, if iti me is continued in imiller, doses for a week or two after the disease baa been checked, more especially in difficult and lon-MUndis cases. Usually tail neliciao will not require any aid to keep the bowels ia good order. Should the patient, however, rtvqnire acathartic medicine, afterhavinr tafcea three or four doses of the Tonic, a tingle dose of KEIfT S VEGETABLE FAMILY FILLS will be sufficient. Use no other. SR. Joxirx BULL'S SMITH'S TONIC SYRUP, BULL'S SARSAPARILLA, BULL'S WORM DESTROYER, The Popular Remedies of the Dar Prtsrlpal Offlcs. 83t Mala St., I-Orisni.LE, nT. TEE SCIENCE OF LIFE. OMY X BY BLAIL POST-PAID. KHOW THYSELF.S i Great Helical Work on Mmhool, Fxhansted Vitality. Xcrrous nd rbrs'rsl IVbility. Prematn re Decline in Man. Errors öf Yoata, and the untold miseries resulting from iudiortioas or excesses. A book for every man, young, mi JJ'eapxt and ol.l. It contains 125 rrocriptions for 11 acute and chronic drase, eath one of which is invaluable. f found by the author, whose experience for twenty-three years is such as probably never before fell to the lot of any thjk iaa. Threu hundred agcs. bound iu lcautiful French muslin. cmlxs.sed covers, full gilt, guaranteed to be a finer work in every sene mechanics!, literary ul professional than any other wmk sold i: this country for ZO. or the money will be refun lel in every instance. Price only H by mail. ot-pi i. Illustrative samples 6 cents. .-en'l now. io'.d medal awarded the author by the Nations! Medical Association, to the President of which. Hon. R. A. hisH'll, and associate otlieers of the board tüe reader is resi-ectftilly referred. This boot should le read by the young for iaht: 1 i iiuii. an.! ! v tbe afflicted, for reliet. 1. will bei clit all. London Lancet. There is im MeuiU-r of stvlctyt whom this b"c will not "oe usfful. whether youth. ia-cnt. guardian, instructor or ck-rsrvumn. Argonaut. Address the IValxMV Me-iit al Institute, or Pr. W. H. IViria'r, No. 4 Ilulfnich street, hostor.. M tss., whomav be consulted ou all disease rva,tnrit.f t-kill slid exjit-rit-iM-e. t'hronif and obstinat dincasts that have battled the skill of olb.T i-hyni-tians a n ialty. such treated v.e-vy without an iuitmce of failure. HEAL TIIY.-ELF. FREE TRIAL! BKIPGTEHT BSEH! Whether Yoanj; cr O'! LavJrg i!i:;u:rci taclr Prccrsativs Fevers Br t?- T"i!!crt!ris c Vvith or yrf cf Mvurel Year uiuy i ,tiu"ily r s;r'.! to ri.Ur rCl VTV, -SSf" and Sexual Poorer ISTER'tri'TiLT Tfioijni! cf 'sic Mrr i'ii ivni'-r.-n-nfn! ptit-su-ai eaKJCv. lo.t li.niiii'Hxl. mrw.u f-r-:r-tiun. resu'f if ir.iüscr.'tit.T.s. .r n tiT rn cured l-y Nervita. No r.-i;i 'iy '.vr o'-re.i t ttia atl'ictei lias im l vltli n h un'rTffeiiiT."! 'iits. It tssf no r.ul f . r curing- si) frn: of Nnvori Va.TR. t X Hl 91 !!. llkl'-ILITV OTT IrfAV. liS benef.cisl tffe.-tj are imisiediMtr; p- r.-er:1' ': 'a tew veeic aft?r cc-niinen.viie Its um' a fee!-B of renewed v:or snd strength is a;r-n"''i.t. It ;" et a prompt and radicrW cur-, ami I ti e on'y saf? and, effect ual n me-ijr known fr curinsr sil forfns of J"svors I'ewlity frni) any -ai?. I: ?: tr permanent. Kommtor howapzravared jour case, tow many remedied vi.u have tn-.-a. r lxw many auc:or liave filii-d. When Ihf dlwaMO has batte d t;,-.' h:'.1 of the ab it-! phTicisna. wfien ni?;anc!ij ami dfpT fcave taken the place of hope, and the world i-.Htf blank and rire.iry. Nervita 'i'l inspire ce life and permanent)-cure body and mind. 14.V.T case cr.re t by Ii use in lsKi. fctr-in faith t.'.at U ;llcure itiit cast promt'" u 10 nemi a trial pactaj'- on rece-.pt of il Cetil pos1. free at olhce. Naniettil p?-i" DR.A.G, OLINCO., 180 Ii. "SVa&binston St. P.O.Box 212. CHICAGO. ILL," H-ice per Package, $1.00. Six for $5.00. maw SHOES T have made a nerlalrT nf thl ercel.ettt MlüE for BOY. , KAU for years. rnaka I i!otinaf elv and produce ftnm ! f. I wa arm. rwnln. Ktyle, aud tue bent wearina; boot that Mnjadt. Cortnomora I jsu is generally charired fr ordiiiary hboe. and "ill aavo AO tierrviit iu wear. Nv corn, lit bunions. Atiy Anr c-r.tent with a für pmtu will eontirm what we say (.tvethen a trtsl. wlvwi ril ta prramnrni iri-nd of THK rOI..tt TIP. Itrwiin ol" liuit!ilioMca.i',.- l l:y naiw so n-arif I t.siil.r Tli, tu .1m vive. Tralts.:uark a:-i "Job IJCNnr' ' v " ui tnll. ia 00 sole ot eacl inkX, STOPPED FREE Insme Petom Raitsfl Dr.KUME S GREAT M mm -mw ntnVEnLeiUKcn Ia.VEmrM&MKVBUlsisSEi. On.y iwt , . , J ,,' ..I....... - - ' ISFkUlCLI t lken a. dire. te1. A - "i mrr f.r.lfs nrr. T,.itic n 1 f2 trill .v.-.e irrv r Fit rv.i-ut. th.-T pavms; rKpretharol-rl-tjPR KU SEX Ar I- St . -l "-t-vP. r-fi-ifC jit ll'Tir" rPi"lw A i'.lliD.-TQtn 6ren'iTer:.''?lroiJ-:e:roni and iudiM-wtiona of youth, nervous w ea kr. . eurlr ie v. ls of nianhocnl. e'e.. I will send r.t'lrtthät -illctire you, 1 REE OF iHVIiuK. Thi itHt rcce-ly v r dicovored by a raiionary i- - uth Ameri'sji. Sentl vli'-.M:vise.l envelor to Kcv. JOsU'U X. lii-O., biaUou V. .2w YotaJ

fei