Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 30, Number 50, Indianapolis, Marion County, 14 January 1885 — Page 7

THE INDIANA STATE SENTINEL WEDNESDAY. JANUARY 14 1855

WIT AKl A.HTBT,

In Washington Conmnmu Flnerty waa sated why he drank British ale, and be replied that it was a pleasure Bonietimes to bo able to swallow one's enemy. An Irish country doctor conversing with a friend about the hipo. rate of mortality then pievailiDg remarked, ''Ladad, there are people dying who never died before 1" Ecfore offering to rtrp the street car-bell fcr a lady about to get oil' look closely at her right band. If she wears a diamend ring and 70a pull the strap she will be your enemy icrlile. "YeE," said tha deacon, "our Heavenly father knows all oar inmost thoughts' Then," replied Fopg, "lie must be pos tested yf a deal of worthless information." Boston Transcript. eaid an old caid, ,lI don't miss a husband very mach. I have trained my dog to gr 31 every time I feed him, and I have jet bocght a clothing store dummy that I on scold when I feel like it." The "Sweetheart lamp" is a lamp which deserves its name. Yon can turn it down aver so low and it will not smoke and make a nasty and tell tale smell. And then you can tum it up right away. Bat what is the matter with gas? A writer who evidently sever tried it calls stating the poetry of motion. When a J retty female skater's feet slip from under iCr and she tries to stand on her head, we (Acknowledge she often get up looting tha joetry of emotion. The old cynic eat on the back seat of the dummy, watching a young couple beside him who were very tender and devoted. His hand was Loktirg hers, his face was dote to hers, his eyes looked into hers, and she waa as happy as a turkey that finds itself alive when the market clcees for Thanksgiving. ' Happy, aren't they?" said his friend. 'Happy, yea! Etirring Nature wish a 6poon." The latest invention on the ehirt bosom line is a dozen or more of them made of paper and put in pads, from which one can be torn when a clean shirt front is wanted. It Ulkes us that such a scheme could be irorktd successfully on the basement of boy's trousers. If there were thirty or forty layers of good stout cloth, and behind all of them a eheet of block tin or copper, we verily believe that the danger signal which fsadiy floats in the rear of every small boy's faiaalbons might be kept from the embarjassiEg gaze of an inquisitive public at least from ui.tt week's end to another. 1 Stickler for Kxact Weight. IK. Y. Tribune. It is said by a local paper that a market rveman in Peoria, 111., is trying to avoid paying an election bet on a technicality. Sue was to wheel a man around the public square, but declares there was nothing in the toed about wheeling his clothes, and declares that he will have to go without them or not at all. It la An 111 "Wind. (Harper j Eazar.l Divorce lawyer. -My dear, yon may have that new five-hundred dollar dress and tne three-hundred djilar cloak alter alL" Bis wife. "You dear, delicious old darling! Idiin'tknow that sewing on a few buttons for you would produce such a delightful effect." Divorce lawyer. It wasn't the buttons. This morniDg's paper contains reports of eeventeen kshion&ole wedding3." Th Difference. (London Fua.l The I,-ector.',Well, Chorbacon, I hope yon likea the broth I sent yoa on Saturday and the sermon I preached on Bunday?" Chorbacon. "Thank you kindly, zarl Boot oi'd loiae the braath better if it were more lAi't. t ha oavmnn .nil th. Dftpninn If it v.M more loiie the braath. You see, zur, the earm on moight a been a bit clearer, an' oi could a' a 00 a wi leas on it; aad the braath irere a b.t too clear, and 01 could a doom wi' .ore on it." Who Saw the Bloat. Act Columbian. Not lem ? ago two gentlemen were con verslog, one of whom had bat a a stogie eve; the Other possessed the natural number. The two-eyed man mocked and jested at his iriend, who, growing tired of tne sport. Imritiently cried: "I will lay two to one that tee mors than you do." "Doae; and you iave loet. With two eves I, of course sae xcore tnan von with only ouo to your credit," "One moment. I see two eyes, while jobm but one." He won the warf. Lover' a Oaths 3aa Francisco Chroaicle. What is that yoa aaj ? Ilarry marr'.ed! IVCell, I'll never believe in men again." WbyT "The oaths of love that man swore to me!" "Well, but you threw him over. You've 'teen married three months," "I don't cam Ha wm so devoted to me, od bn Jack prapewd to me and I accepted, Harry declared that he would be true to my memory and moura me as one dead to Um' "Well, it's of no consequence to yon." He might have been decent about it He rsit have gone into mourning for year, wayhow." Oh! the Klatry, I8an Francisco Post. Girl In Blue There's a young Mr. Dnderoa ever there; don't yoa think, he is just frpiendid?" Girl in red ''Splendid, tnat pan of mush! Why, he took me buggy riding last week And tried to ki3 me." "Well?" "Well, he put his arms around me and And, of course, I told him just to behave fcinwlf." Welir "Weil he behaved tlmneif!" Both Ugh? The average size of the America a family Is 5.01. Dexter is twenty-seven years old and can -trot as gamely as ever. Telegraphing is as cheap now aj postage was half a century ago. Queen Victoria has an allowance of ? 1,925,&00 for household expenses. Jaroe K. Toik laid the corner stone of the Washington monument. Forty cents a word is thi rate of cablegrams over the Atlantic cable. Paper is now used in Germany instead of rood in manuiacturirg lead pencils. The happiest policemen in tbe world are ihoupht to be in Mexico. Thera are never any hrw, the people go to bed early, and ladies do their shoppUg in do carriages. "He ain't no violini't, but he can just fiddle a cat off the fence' was tue way a coun try chap put it. The room in which tbe lnaosn ration ball Is to be held in Washing on is 318 feet long and 114 feet wide. Eouth Carolina, it is stated, is the only -statd in tbe Union that doeamt make pro TisioB in its law tor divorce. Jett sixteen years aco the interest on the National debt amounted to ?143,0OO,O0O a year. It is now tö9,Wj,(m. Thre Is little nourishment for an empty stomach in the statement that the country is su iTering from over-production. The c'ock in Trinity Church tower, New York, is the heaviest in America. It takes two men over an hour to wind it up. According to the Atlanta Constitution, the most popular invitation to drink is Let's go in and make an assignment.' " It is a curious fact that the skin of the na tive of tropical regions feels cool to the touch cf one from northern climes, even ia tbe rxa, cz a burning J uly or August day. It is

as much of a mystery to the visitor as the coolness which many a tropical fruit retains under the scorching rays of the saa. Mies Annie Boyer, an eccentric English lady, has just died at Middleton, DeL, at the age of eighty-two, with toe-nails three inches long. Following is from the weekly official statemen of the Lank of France: Assets, fll2, 28,450: discounts. 154 659,140; profits for the week, $J13,05ö. Twenty-five years ago Charles Foster, of Buckb&eid, Maine, invented wooden toothpicks; now three thousand millions of them are annually sold. "Just a year ago," eaid a New Hampshire man, "my brother dropped dead on this epot of apoplexy. Tom was " But at tals point he went to join his brother, dropping dead of the same ailment. If a cent be placed on the first square of a chess board and continually doubled the amount after the sixty-four squares have been covered will be more money than the inhabitants of the world possess. Nicholas Alexandrcwich, Czarowitcb. of Russia, has been betrothed to ens of the youngest daughter of the Crown Prince of Prussia, thus forming another tie between the Romanoffs and Hxenzollems. A social scientist has discovered that Joe Fmith, the founder of Mormauism, was a Vermont er. Brigham Young, too, was a Vermonter. John H. Noyles, father of the Oneida Community, was a Vermonter. Er man what wnz oncea fool bat what atrter erwhile gits ter be a smart man is wiser den de man whut wuz alius smart; for habin' been a fool 'fore he woz wife he's pot de 'sperience o de smart man an' de fool. The'receiptj at the New York custom house in the year 1331, were: Duties. $127,78.278.71; miscellaneous, $t,001,G6L&6. The amounts received in 183, were: Duties, $138,09-1 574 SG; miscellaneous, $1,372,702.05; decrease for ISM, $10,315.376. When hymn and tune books began to be Introduced into church service a fastidious person was w shocked at what he called the devil's music that he left the meeting one Eabbath and ran home. Accosting a neighbor the next day, he said: "Well, did you make the deTil dance last night?" "No," was the reply, "but we made him run." Alas, that cue is born in blight. Victim of perpetual slight i Wfu Uiou lookest on eis face Tby heart aaith, "Brother, go thy wsysl houe shall ask thee w&it thou doest, r care a rush for what thou kaowest, 1 r listen when tfcou tepUent, or remember where thou liest, tr inw tfcy iapperts soliea' And snotter is born 10 make ue sua forgot'.ea. Fraerson. KNOTTY FKOBLEXS.

Our readers are invited to lurnliti encnal eslc Baa, charades, riddles, rctusos ana other "knotty protlcm," acaresslBK all cominanlcaCons relative to this department to X. B. Chadboom, Z4Wlftoa No. 1 OCH. An Offensive Maine. I tu a person rather common, bonjetime a raaD, sotactlne a worafwa; B Mtlefi, it iteai 10 b my luck To t e a plant, elso a datlc, 4nt to a dame my name apply You'll see tne iltitcinc ot ttr eye, Kxprtwive of lnoisiiant ire That Es to say, "'Vou ere a I'.jr." TLe otter biped with my name J rt:r fcouorcd hy the shtb; As for tin plant, lot doctors vlm It, Ail healthy persons will refus it. If 1 bouid choose to make prvie Uf -what 1 &ta In a rbarKde, Then 1 raUat m j to a ono two Your two is one, and 'tvrouid be true; Or 1 might bay. what would i-eem droih . That Mvood brinca to lalni pole. 4 Bin 1061 A Kld.ll. If I leave and tkn my heal Ihe reraaica are la a hcattcrcd n'.itii" Bat if my tail 1 tae iusiea 4. 1 still aia present" sUAQ;e to relate. k, a. Nui ro. 1070. A Diamond. 1. A consonant. 2. A personal 1 ronoau. 3. Old. 4. rarts of a flower. 5. An ex tiilaratlrR liqnnr. (. A French proper name. 7. One form of tha name of an JSind 0! Greece near Athens, 8. A feminine name. A Toei, A. K. A. Ho. 1071. A Char de. A worthless fellow, I declare, Waa first bo tried to catch a haro; lie was not second, ao the chase Was nothing but a tueie race. Ttea be grew sick aad failed quite last, And. no great lorn, he died at last: Hia a'.lmeat at not whole, 'twsa said Aad no one mourned when he waa dead. il'ELS0SU5, Ko. 1073. Kternal Fltoeaft. la form I'm tall aad alender, Tboagh my feet are quite robust; M 7 movements qalck and sprightly. Though I grovel in the dual. Quite active when on duty. Yet as harmless as you ploase; When at my daily labor Alwaya kicking tip a breeze. In every house I'm found; In fact there's this about nie v herever Christian people dwell Iber will aoi do without me. By fair andgeul! handa Moet f reuenuy I'm used : Eonetlmci a weapon of defense V ben propriety 'a abused. If 70a Oecapitftie roe once. You will find lu my remains Whtt every well-built house In toe universe contains. Boon companions we have been Throun all the ages past ; And this will bo our destiny While revolving cycles luL Now ull me what we two can be Ih&t to cicely, fitly bltud; that with the end of time alone a? Jolat cotamlitfiiona end. KsAi'Stt TAsdt Jcir. Io. 1073. Conundrums. A. Wky la the letter K lika an esthete? 2. jLnd O. llko a man who la quite Incomplete! 8, Aad when Is N mach like a rrolicsoste youth T 4. Ac 1 X so like Bpirlttialisia in truth? ikOBUt, Wo. 1074. ABfrnje VUion. As on "the plsce of a rkull" I gszed, 1 witueved a tcer.e Lieh much amazed. A. hundred headless men ran before Twice fire hundred, no Una no more And nnto me they did losdly cry. "Give us succor else we must die V 1 quick 17 ofiered to be p them through Too. kind reader, roiibt keep toeut, too. ho mors shall flow tSe blood that's red ; To eacU lukief sut we'd restore his hel. Miaixiw Laak. Tb Latent I'retnlanv To the reader who furnishes the beat lot of answers to the "Knotty Prob J ems" published during Jsnnary will be given Dickens "Pickwick rapers," finely bound in cloth and illustrated. The solutions for each week should be forwarded within six days after tbe date ct the Sentinel containing tha puzzles an few red. Answers. 1054. Bixty. 1065. Cob-web. 10501. Generosity (Jennie Ross I tie). 2. rargeter (pa, pet heri. 1057. Panstereorama. 1058. Dead-point. l(i:9. Bbake-Epear. 1000. T A 1: A A It A T RATA A T A H tloraford's Acid Phosphate rOE LEMONS 0a LIKE JCICK, a superior substitute, and its use is posi is tively beneficial to health.

THE HOSE.

M la mot deubted that men fcare tan in that lace w Litre eaca one ua established hi heart snd the tun of his possession and fortunes, whence be will not depart if nothing calls him sway; whenoe If he has departed he leens to be a wanderer, and 11 he rerarns he 00a aoa to wauler. tiara iliU on from Civil Law. Then stay at home, my heart, and rest, The Bird is safest In the net; O'er all that Sutter taetr wing ana fly, A hawk is hovering la the sty." Longfellow. TOCMO FOLKS. Sleepyland. BY LA LR A K. RICHARDS. Bcfcy's been fa 8!eepyUnd. rer the hills, over Ue hilu; Baby's ocen In hleepyland, All the rainy morning. From the cradle where sh 7r y, L p ih jumped and new -. . lor Sleepylsnd is bright aad gay Every rainy morning. Wi t dirt r-m ses in Slee py land, J-ty lit'.,, t, baby prettitviT V. aat d; 1 ;.ou fee In bieepyland, AU the rainy morning T f aw the sun that shown m twinkly, Paw the gtaw that moved so crir.sly, baw the brook that flowed 0 tlnkly, AU the lovely morning. What did yoa hear In Sleerylan J. Over the bills, over the hliW Whet did you hear la 61eepyl&nd, ' All the rainy morcuigt Heard tbe wind that wooed so woo!n?ly, Sieeri the doves that cooed ao cooinely, Iitard the cows th&t mooed so mooiofiiy, All the lovely morning. What did you do in Sleepyland. Baby littlest, baby prettieatT W'Lat did you do iu Sleepyl&nd, All the rainy morning! Fang a song with a blue canary, Danctd a dance with a golden fairy, Kode about on a cinnamon brary. AU tbe lovely morning. Would I could go to Bleepylanl, Over the uills, over the hills, Would I could ro to SLoepylaad, trcry rainy morning. But Sleepiland rray never behold Any one more than two years old, to poor old mammy ataya out In the cold, very r&iuy morning. Grandpa's School. Mrs. C. E. Eamford in New York Observer., Although Grandpa Drown was nearly seventy years of cge, (still he was not old to teach a queer little school for the benefit of his grandchildren. At precisely three o'clock every Saturday alternoon, grandpa tinkled his little hacd-bell, and iu five minutes there were stated in a rcw before him vo wide-awake grandchildren, three girls and two boys. The pupils brought no baoksto study, but beicre taking their seats they deposited slij 8 of parerin grandpVs hat, un which were written certain questions that he was to answer. These questions were upon any subject the children might select, but they usually had reference to something heard, seen, or read during the week, and the children were alays on tbe alert for n puzzle queotion. Pernaps a description of the exercises upo- oue afternoon may prove interesting. As eoon as the children wer all netted, grandpa put on hid epectae'es, took hi t bat from the table, and owning the r3t paper he read as follows: "Dear Gmndpa Tbe past week 1 Lave been learting from an old sailor bow ti tie various kinda of knots, such as reef knots, loop knots, fixare eight knots, etc ; now this tailor says he can teach ine to tie all kindä of knots but the 'Gordian knot. Can yon tell me what that la aod how to tie it?" i'iank. Ab," bald grandpa, when he had finished reading. 'tLat i a hard question, indeed; I could tell you better how tbe Gordian knot' WH3 severed than how it was male." That will do just as well," repliaJ Frank. "Well," Baid grandpa, "the 'Gordian knot' was made by a rustic king ot Phrygia, named Gordics. The cord was made from tbe fibrous bark of the cornel-tree, and tbe knot fastened the ox yoke to the pole of a wagon which King Gordius had used. The knot nroved so intricate that no one could untie it, or even find where it began or ended." "Tbe oracle had declared that h9 who should untie tbe knot should be master of Asia. Alexander tbe Great was resting his army aittr a battle in the city of Gordium, about the year 333 before Christ, and he de tennined to untie this celebrated knot, bnt not being successful, he became impatient, and striking with his sword he severed the knot with one blow." "That is a good Btory, grandpa," replied Frank; "the next time 1 see the sailor I most tell him all about it." The second slip was then taken from the hat, and the question was this: 'Grandpa is it right to thro stones at frogs. Julia." When this question was read, Willie and Frank looked troubled, as thongh guilty of such conduct. Grandpa did not appeir to notice thia, but remarked that frogs were quite sensitive to pain, and he thought that no pupil of his would be guilty of pelting frogä. Then turning tc Frank he said, "I wish you would bring a frog to school next Saturday, for 1 want you to see what a pscaliartoDguettbaa." "La it forked like a snake's tongue?" Inquired frank. "Ko, my son, hat yoa know that the tongue of most animals lies with the tip pointing towards tbe lips; now the base or large portion ot the fros's tongue is joined to the point of the lower jaw, and the tip points down tbe throat. 80, whenever the frog catches an insect, it is quickly thrust bacs into the throat by the tongue, and its fata is sealed." The third question was from Emily, It was this: "Grandpa, can the people on the moon see the earth?" "It is not known," replied grandpa, "whether the moon is inhabited; bat if so, the earth must present to them all the phases that the moon presents to us, only In a reverse order. For instance, when we have a new moon they have a fall moon. Only one side of the moon is turned toward us, therefore the moon inhabitants upon the opposite side might have to take Ions louraeys to take a pee at our planet, but it would doubtless well repay them, for the earth would look when fall fourteen times as lare as our full moon." "Wouldn't it be a grand sight! I wish I could see such a lare moon a that," eaid Emily. MaooV- question was In regard to the echot- N.vt bad been in the woods with sor' of her 1-iends the day before, aad when thej ebcuted the sound was repeated, sometlmts in one syllable, tt other times in two. 11 er question was this: "Can more than two syllables ever be heard as an echo?" Grandpa replied that "when sevf ral parallel surfaces are properly situated the echo may repeat backward and forward many times. For instance, in Virginia there is an echo which is said to return twenty notes played upon a flute, and at Woodstock, England, there is one which repeats seventeen syllables by day and twenty by night. When the exclamation 'ha!' is quickly and sharply spoken, there returns back a h, ha, ha!'v' Tbe last question was from Willie. He was a growing, hungry boy, and could not bedeve that persons might suffer more thirst than lrom hunger. He writes: "Grandpa, 13 water more Iraport el t to life than food? I have eaten tive meals ince yesterday morning, mid I haven't drinked a drop of water; now, I am not thiniy one bit, but 1 feel as Uiouga I could et two meals at once.' "Yen i: sy not have drinked clear water," replied arm. dpa, "for two days, but do yoa not tak uiik with every meal, and haven't j on eaUn apples, melons, potatoes aud turnip since yesterday morning?" "Yes, sir," replied Willie. . "Well," said grandpa, "all of these thinzs ccfttain a great aruouot of water, aud that accounts for your not being thirsty. Oar

bodies are composed mostly of water, and will sutler extremely if it is not supplied in seme manner. Water is 3 nlenty that we do not realize its worth. Eliza Cook well says: Traverte the desert and then yoa ca tell What treasures exkt in tbe cola, ocp well; Hnk to .epair on the red parched emrth. And then ye may reckon waat water is worth. Florida Robinson Crusoes. I Harper's Magazine. 1 We made a tnp to Pine Island, which lies wedge-like parallel with the outer k6j. Here we found the cocoa-nut aud lemon trees, the branches laden down with magnificent frnit Here we came acro?i certain diminutive Robinson Cmwi a-v-a excited our rympethies. On""-, - nc, witli a sadlooking and dilr' ' .u. father, lived four children. Yoa , . .u&ched tbe place through shallows barely ravigable with a lUhtdracght boat at high tide. A ramshackle structure on rotten piles was the landing. This eettlement was twenty miles from anywhere. The house, the size of a smill stable, looked as if built years before, and was open to all the winds of heaven. As the winds, however, are never cold here, that perhaps was not important, but from April, as the very flood-gates cf heaven are open, that family must have been drowned out for months. Sometime before, so we learned, while the father was absent, the mother died, and these poor bairns with their own bands dug a grave and buried their mother. How that family managed to eke out an exItter ce God only knows. Shells of the gopher, the Jand tortoise, were strewn around, snpgestive of miserable food. Fith, though, might have been plenty. Two gr;m degs, lean and lank, slunk around the hoase. The master of these surroundings told us tha dogs were only in trood condition when alligators were plentiful. The house contained scarcely anything. There was a grimy table, and a few boxes serving as chairs. We saw not a cup or sancer: there were no beds. A tame crane, tnat did hot seem to heed our presence, Hopped around. That bird was a convincing proof that those litt'e cirlsbal bestowed their love on something, and this wss their pet. Fancy a lad of twelve having for a toy a squirming alligator some three feet long! 'ct ft very lovable companion, nor one to bo on intimate terms with. Bat it was the only thing the boy could find. Evidently it was something not to befooled with, for the 'gator's jaws were bound with a bit of rag. At our request .this ligature was looted, when this ugly brute at once made for the boot of one of the party, and fastened bis teeth in It. i.nd would not let go until his mouth was forced open. The children could read a little, and strange to say, the Vicar of Wakefield had been their hornbook. It was the only bound volume the father possesied. There were, thousüi ai additions to the library, a few tattered numbers of children's mags nines of years long gone past. There was a slate, ana at once the artistic young fellow stacked his gun, dropped his Abrczzi manner, and drew fjr tbe children pretty and funny pictures, until that poor miserable house echoed again with laughter and cries of delight. Tha lao". instead of marbles, played with the ugly fangs of the 'fa tor, and wss himself the stayer of Bambms. To judge from a mipfrab'.e firearm we taw.belorjging to the father, I shoald thick tbe risk the hoy ran was greater than that cf the alligator. Then tbe rmsiathropitt of the party, who often wondared why pfopl ever wrote books or magazine storie, ac d was always smszpd why people resd them, mnde up his mind that that library

cn Fine Island should bo increased, and if tee mail facilities have not quite gone wroni, it Is eupposabJe that before this these children have a supply of iuvenile literature sufficient to last them for some time to cem. Tbo Ivan d nil Scheme. Indianapolis News.j Some "Washington speculation is bnsying itself with what IUndnll would do should he become Secretary of ths Treasury. The great question in such an event would rather be, Wh&t would the people do? S3 far as liAndall is concrned, ce would rivet still .tighter the chains of the tariff which even now is choking the life-blood of the countrv. In the face of tens and hundreds of tboütends of idle working men, idle simply be cause we have more proiocts than we ran consume, and are shut m bv tlie tariff ttom selling tne surplus abroad; in tbe fac8 of this suicidal condition, Ilandall is crying tbe remission of everv cent of internal revenue tax. That bounds like a great alleviation, doesn't it? But what does it mean ? It means simply the taking of the tax off whisky and tobacco. Now, whom win free whisky and tobacco benefit? Kit the consumer, any more than the remission of the tax on patent medicines has reduced tbe price thereof. It will simply put colossal foitunes within easy reach of tbe whisky and tobacco men. and to whatever imall de gree it might reduce the "price to the con sumer would be no savins;; for botn are articles to th purchase of which price never was a bar. Eut this is llandsU's scheme, in order to raise all tbe Government revenue by a tar ill", as be has specifically announced, and eo still farther fleece the country for the benefit of Pennsylvania's monopolist chiefly. If the workinemen of this country snbznittosnchapro?ramme asthi3 they will deserve all the hardEhip that will come upon tbem from low waces, hisch living, little work rr none at all. Jludll and his ach'xd are tbe most dangerous eneraiea that this country has just now. For iu him ana thtxn is the cause of high protection which. was t'efaaied at the poiis, makics its way ta rower and attaining all under the nima of Democracy and reform which it boldly claimed for Itself, Will the popi of this country sit qu'etly by and be tabbed of their victory T The Revolution In medical practice, which bas taken piat'o vri'.V.a the past thirty ye&r?, lias been very marked. When EoEtctter'i Stotaach Bitters first niado their appearance, violent purgation, tho lancet and narcotics were measures retorted to with little regard to the idlosyncraclcs of the sick. Now laflcitely no re satisfactory rosolts are accomplished with the Bitters. The constipated aro no longer doted and drenched, the fever stricken are not weakened by bleeding, and sedative have taken tte place oi opiates. Dyspepsia, nervousness. Insomanla. Irregularity of the bowels, rheumatism, and chills and fever, are succcvf ally treated with this pcpul&r tonic and regulator. As a medicated stimulant, it is professionally cemmeadod, and is preferable, as a means of renewing exhausted energy, to the average tonic. These statements rest upon ample evidence. It is maintained by certain astronomers that tte apparent diameter of the sun varies periodically, and Dr. J. HUfiker.of Neufchatel, contends that tbe periodicity coincides with that of the sun-spot minimum, and vice verfa. It's no secret that Dr. Pierce's Compound Extract fef Smart Weed is composed of best gennipe French Brandy, distilled Extract of 8mart-Wd and Jamaica Ginger ltiot, with Camphor Essence, and constitutes, therefore, tbe beat remedy yet known for cilicor cramps, cholera morbus, diarrhoea, dysentery or bloodr flux, or to break up colds, fevers and iuflammatory attacks. Fifty cents. By druggists. riTi All na slapped ty Dr. xraio's tret Ferve Kesiorcr. Ntualtfrrst day's use. liirvelons cnn. Treatise aodfi trial bottle free to Fit casta. Head to Dr. Kline. 021 Arch at., foil I'a Tonus MentKead This. Tbe Voltaic Belt Company, of Marshall, 11 ich., otltt to send their celebrated E'lectroVoitaic Belt and other Eiectrio Appliances on trial tor thirty dars,to rt.en-(young or old) ahiicted with nervous debility, loss of vitality and manhood, and ail kindred troubles. Alo for rheumatism, neuralgia, paralysis and many other diseases. ComElete restoration to health, rigor and manocd guaranteed. bo risk Is incurred as thirty days' trial is allowed. Writ ttora at ones for illutxtted rPkl free

SOCIAL G03SIP.

In character, in manners, in style, iu all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity. To dUcuts aa opinion with a fool is like carrying a laaiem before a blind ciaa. De Geston. The heart of a woman never grows old; when it has ce.d to love, it has ceased to live. Eochepedre. Ten ona who are of good birth and breeding and have a weil established society politico, rarely, if ever, allude to it, An eminent preacher says that funeral eulogies are injurious because the people often know the lamented dead better than the preacher. Tbe best advertisement of a work -shop is f rat class work. Tbe strongest attraction to Christianity is a well-made Christian character. T. L. Ctiyler. In all these cases where fools elope it is the woman who is the chief foL ehe has everything to )03e and in ninety-nine eases in a hundred she loses. The short sleeves of the ladies' dresses In tbe re?gn of Chsrles II. introduced the long kid glove, which has now. after an interval, again become fashionable. A man endowed with great perfections, without gcod breeding, is like one who has his pockets full of gold, but always wants charge for ordinary occasions Steele. Think of your own faults the first part of the night (when you are awake) and of the faults of others tbe latter part cf the n'ght (when you are asleep). Chinese Vtoxtta, The friends thou hast, and tbetr adoption tried. Grapple them 10 the soul wit a books o; steel; l;ut do not dull thy pairs with cntcrtaluuieat Uf each ncw-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Shakespeare. The latest dodge in reend dancing is to change partners at every circuit of the roam. This effectually narrows down the opportunities for flirtation and is a great relief to chaperones. 'I never allowed business of any kind t5 enter my chamber door," said Mr. Gladstone recently. ''In all my political life I have never been kept awake five min ties by any debate in Parliament." The man who prayed for those who sit under the "drippings of the sanctuary" was a near relative of another who besought the Lord to "prop up de brudderaua eisür with the properations cf the gospel." I always told you that not having enough sunshine was west ailed tne world. Mace the people happy acd there wilt not be hilf the quarreling or a tenth part of the wickednets there is. Lydia Maria Chila. Don't foTget three little words "If you plCBEe." Life is made up not of great sacrifices and dDties.ibnt of little things, of which smiles and kindness and small obligatioas, given habitually, are wbatwin aod preserve the heart, and secure comfort. AH tbongbts ot ill; all evil deed. That have their root In thoughts of ill, AH these muet nt be trampled down Pcneoth onr feet, if we would gam In 1 be triebt fields of fair renown The right of eminent douaia. Lousfellow, Tbe ladies of Marie Antoinette's time made the racribce to tbeir beauty of sleeping in a eittiDg posture, with their backs propped up with pillows. The dreBaes of Marie Antoinette were often freshened up and turned, her ribbons dyed and her kerchief aud gloves cleaned. The Room Beneath thefRafters" is the tili of Ella WheaVr'a latest poem. In it the ?ays she 'taw the hornet come forth from it3 inud-walJed house." Ella has bsen married recently, and if tbe above is lntendedfor an allusion to her husband, Mr. Wilcox must be a bad man. A good example ot Ckineee high life is shown by tbe fact that if any one asks what kind of a woman bo rue crest Mandarin has married the answer is always given, with an eir cf checked surprise: ''Ob, a woman with little feet, of course." That is to say, he has net married beneath birn. Dr. B. Y. Richardson, an English physician of eminence, declares that the mental phenomena of typhoid fever are full of suggestions, and that typhus is marked by short, delirious dreams, lemitiect fevers by long, dolorous acd painful dreams, and scarlet fever by realistic dreams. The world is of such power, erpa la its ripLt things there are bo many of them that touch the imagination, the feelings, the eeutimente of men on eo many sidea, that it is only now and then there is a man of sufficient stamina and Independence to stand np and maintain an active, sturdy piety whife standing alone in the world. Betcher. Cards are ont announcing the engagement of Master WiJlie Scott, aged four years, of GcrdonsYille, Va., and &w Jennia Perry, aged six years, of Charleetown, West Va. It will be interesting to note in future years how mncheight this parental contract will have with the youngsters. Cupid is an erratic fellow and Laakes aad havoc with the plens of men. Tbe convemtian at t3:e bi miner hotels next season will u?nally begin with soma such remarks as: ''When I was in New OrJean last winter," or "during my visit to tbe Exposition,1' or something abont those chsnnino; Creoles or the romantic pictureaqueness of the Crescent City. Teople whofihall die between this and spring will have a good deal to be thankful for. The latest fashionable garment in Paris is what are Cilled Teste?. They are sbsrt zouave or Spanish jackets, made of the richest materials, fastening across the chst or at the ntck, and reaching jo?t below the arm-pit in length. For indoor or evening wear they are acoompauied generally by a chemisette of lace, silk or India muslin, confined at the ait by a very broad aosli or a point! -La belt. Instincts are implacable. It we disobey them we Rre punUued There is one in particular which the animal obeys unhesitatingly ; it is the one which enmroandj na to avoid the penoa who has once injured 11s, whether the Injury was intentional or accidental. The creature that has harme-1 us once will bo always harmful; whatever hia rank may be, however nearly he may be related to you. Band In hand with anrehr. Throngs thaw orld we go ; ( IMghtcr eves are on ns Tban we blind one know; , Tenderer voices cieer us Tban we deaf will own : Uevor, walking heavenward. Can we walk; alone. Lucy Larcixa. Br Olrl. 1 know th at lbs isn't a beauty ; To that Bhe makes no pretense; But she has a high notion of duty. And plenty ot common aense. And 1 never wul marry another. Though she's worthier a nobler msn ; Che's a girl that is kind to her mother, Aud helps her all she can. Geo. isassellJuckson, 'A Chance Acquaintance." Frequently some of the dearest friendships of life date from chance traveling acquaintanctihip. Do you remember what Dickens makes that odd piecs cf human nature. Miss Wade, say, when the English traders, who hare been quarantined in that pokey little inn at Marseilles, are bidding one another good-bye, as they suppoee for ever? Let me quote it: "In our course through life we shall meet the people who are coming to meet us, from many strange places and by many strange roads; and wbat it is eet ns to do to them, and wbat it is set them to 00 to ns, will all br done." To young people etpeclally these traveling acquaintcceehips otarn have aa importaat eirniiicauce. Just thiuk over the number of marriages among , your acquaintances which resulted from a chance masting on a railroad train or en a eleamboat. Novelisis make free ute of such incident?, but do they not occur in real life hundreds of timfls every season? A young man sits opposite a young lady in a railway car and pajsber some trifling attention, or brings her a chair on tbe crowded deck of a steatnbca They get into ccmereatloa, aad la

Catarrh Can be Cured.

EThst exceedingly disagreeable and very prevalent disease, catarrh, is caused by scrofulous taint in tbe blood. Hood's BarsparlUa, by Its powerful purifying and vitalizing action upon the blood, speedily removes the cause, and thus effects a radical and permanent cure of catarrh. Those wbo suffer from Its varied symptoms uncomfortable flow frcra the nose, offenere breath, riaging and burstin? noises la tbe ears, swelling of the soft p&rta of tbe throat, nervous prostration, etc -ahould take Hood's Sarsparilla and be cured, The Best Medioino. "Ihsve suffered with catarrh In my head for years, acd paid out hundreds ot dollars for medicines, but have heretofore received only temporary relief. I began to Uke Hood's Sars&parilla and cow my catarrh is nearly cured, the weakness of my body Is all pone, ray appetite is good in fact, I feel like another person. Hood's Barsa psrilia is the best medicine I have ever takes." Uss, A. CrKKiNGHax, Providence, K. L

Hood's Sarsaparilla

old ty all druggists. II :1 atx for ftlTXade only by C L HOOD dt CO., Lowell, Mass. 100 Dcaes One Dollar. three cases out of five, unless his arrangements are as fixed as the laws of the Medes and Persians, he alters them and sees her very frequently during that trip. The first link has been forged in an indissoluble chain, which will eventually draw them within the circles of a common house and bind them in mutual love. Of course love allairs that make pleasant experiences of a journey do not always end at the altar. A siern father, or an awkward blunder misconstrued, mav divert abrief but ardent courtship which promised to "C3me to something" intia fleeting romance of a fast fading youth. Bat I think these are exceptions to the role. New York Mail. A Washington special eays: The rumor tbat Senator Bayard would not sccept a Cabinet position, but was pushing Senator Tendleton for the place, Is comire to be beiifrved by a good many members of CoDprebp, and the expressions cf ome of the Delaware Senator's close friends tend to cod firm it. A frierd rf Mr. Bsyard's expressed the piDiintOH 6 ar report to-day that tbe btrator would not go inta the Cabinet. "As the leader of the Democrats in the Senate," he said, "Mr. Kayard has a power he would be loth to snrrender for the unsubstantial bonor of a Cabinet place. I think he prefers to remain in tbe Senate." "It has been said," suggested the Star. "lhat he was pushing the claims of another?" . i 'You mean Pendleton?" j 'Vt- iu it HnnV I "Wfll well, I don't know that I ou?bt to eay wbat I think. It is likely, think you cot, that Mr. Bayard would do that for a friend? I think he would. Mr. Pendleton is going out cf the Senate, and has nothing to expect from hs own State. He would like to po into the Cabice, aad I faocy Mr. Bsjaid would like him to." Dar's some little ßeißshoesa in pray'r, de fust thing yer know. I ain't got much 'speck fur de 'iigicn o' do man whut gits dawn on his knepe an' axes ?a Lsvrd ter gin him dis an gin him dat Du kinder 'ligion 1 like3 is ter f?ee er rcan tnrn looee sathin' 'stead o' axin' for suthin' aU de time. I h&b knored men whut thought dat da had d?ne er mishty prert duty when da west trr church a' axed üe Lad terbif3 DeP-biaar v a'n't dat pcrter man, it etrlkes n;. Lie wis ail detirafopeniu' Uisha'i' 'stead, o' all da time fil:ettio it Arfcaav Traveler. x:iiti;!:ii;i::r:,iiuii::imiia D Think, just tecanse you have been buffering terribly . ON T 11111 Rheumatism or N-j j ' ralgta. that you must always j continue to suffer. Nor think just because nobody has been able to cure you or your friends, that Kcuralla and Tiheumat-Ljra are incurable. Dj Think that a cure is imfl M T PislW3 because the yJ pi I physicians have been unable I to accomplish it. ISor think that because ATiihornor.os has not boon known ever since tho foundation ot tho world. It will not cure liaeumatlsm and Neuralgia. 0 , Neglect the Ifftimcny cf T lue hunuivUsot sufferers Tio have tried ATntx)rnoK03 and are now bound and hearty. Nor think that because you have tri! City otl T tblBga that failed," that AxuuiruoJiOS 13 II! C thcuu Don't be discouraged I The very thing that zill cure Rheumatism end Neuralgia is ATHLQPH0R0S. Don'tbrSkeptiCQll ATHLOPHOROS has cured others. It sc Cure YOU. If you cannot get ATHioPHOnosof your (turei't, we will eond it eunfiw paid, on rwipt of rurui'.r Jrice one dollar i-r Mho. We freft-r that yon bny t from ynar dnumxt, but 'f lie hnxnt it, do not b pereiUMled t try notaethuitf timu, but order aX oooa lrom us as directed. ATHLOPHOROS CO., 112 WALL ST.. KEW YORK. IHMMtf IIMMIMlH mMIMMtMinilll M ache all over!" What a common expression,; and how much it m.can.$ to rrtany a poor sufferer! These aches htave cause, and m.cra frequently than, is generally suspected, tha cause is th.e Live? cr Kidneys. No disease is mere pairful cr serious thai trese, end no rerrjedy is prorr;pt aqd effective as H LEU'S No remedy has yet beeq discovered th.at is so effective in. aü KiDNEY AND LIVER COMPLAINTS, MALARIA, DYSPEPSIA, etc., end y2t it is simple end h,arm,less. Scien.ce an.d m,cdical skill have com.bined with wonderful success th.ote h.erbs which, natura htas provided for thte cure cf disease. It strengthens ar,d invigorates th.e whole system. Eun. Thtddens Bierens, the dlptinanilshej ConSTenaman, once wrote to ft fellow member ho was uffcrinir from lndiKtion fcni kidney dieae: Try Mishlers Herb Bitters, I believe it will cure yoa. I hve used It for both Indiprotion and iTtlon of the kidneys, and it is tho mewt wonderful combination of medicinal herbs I ever mw. MISHLE3 HEBE BITTEES CO, 525 Commerce St., Philadelphia. wrr. I Faiker's Pleasant Worn Eytca Hercr Tsils

Serious coniequenoet are liable to ensue if ca tarrh Is not attended to in season. The disease frequently destroys the sense of smell aal ortoa developes into broncnit! or pulmonary consumption. Undoubtedly oauy cases of consumption originate lu catarrh. Hood's Parsaparilla curve catarrh, and has even e?ectdd remarkable cort of coasucpi'.oa lseif, lu tc tf y etije. a bock contsiuias 6t&ten:c2ts of many cures ty Hood's Sarsap&rilla will be sect free to all wbe send tddrtu to C I. Hoed it Co., Lowed, llut. Catarrh and Impure Blood. "Hood's Sarsap&rllla bas hi- r.d me core rot catarrh and impure blood th&u ay thing eise I eTer used." A. Bill, Syracuse, N. Y. "I suffered three years wlta catarrh, aad my general health was poor in consequence. When I took Hood'ESarsaparilla I found I had the rigb t remedy, The catarrh is yielding, as Hood's Barsa pariUa Is Cien6lcg my biood, and the general tone c-f my system is improving." FaaiiaWASiiscax, Rochester, K. T.

Bold ty aa druggists. II; six for 1 fadaeaZ by C. X. HOOD dt CO., LowelL K&as. 100 Donea One Dollar. crj BITTERS1; CUR 3 Ii i : Fi rir.cfie.r'.rr?r, Ü STOMA ft Ü KALLDrlUGsSSE?; Drpr Gca.'ßl Delility-i Janadic.A. 2IaT:taal Constipsvtiou, L,i v- r Gvxa plnint, Rica KeM,..T.clitüiooaifld Kidjij i., r. Etc IteoBtKfst cvl- t: t- ra-vvt Jr:-, trrxc9 Which marSj n.i.t.if.t-.irO. ZT.ZZZ'JV 13 2 1XJ AK3 rrrv.:. t :r7, rirsi It Cltwi.-f'j ti D,r-. ':J tU .ri .i:;y, t v" U rcRiriruop Tin: r.s,t3) It ho uv-d n.s -a. a. .y rxua'ts 01 1;-! C iitarxs" Prori;!e t. u mm rarsi j Finished isSi. 250 Tsui Sor.sr I t Ciaciiaati, Otio. Vine Str. ThertfftiliroIdestibLUhsd M'-j rhyl-in and Knrfton UK, 4ciA.IiHa at the cid number J I 2crea skill all orirste, 'chronic, nervous ani special . t. .. ... ... ... .. .M ii lcs of 1'jrers sIiott and all r.u itest.icau ki.ow. Agt acil cjiricnco LaXsi" Hmrrojtw diseases (wivh or wifhont c!rcir.s,) or debility aad loss of nervo power 'rented sdrrtiticallT by new mc'Jios wi'Ji r.fvcr i ailir-u soccpsa. JT" It milwt no clißvTcnce vrhaSJ you hare Uiken cr who has failed to cure you. 2"" Yonnjj raea and mWdJe-ajed men srl s!i who fufkr s'.iculii consult the celebrate 1 lLr.ClrrVe at once. Cl'Ä'The terrible poisons of tül Lid Ulttotl and skin tlisaaes of tverr kind. uamR an I -atare cotnr;-t'T r-radicatrd. Bcmoia?)tT that oash.riUle disease, it c?piectrd nr iraprori-rlv tr?tf . rnrufi t'.: f-c (r.t r.ndfoinr (imrnitiottä. f JwLimxm& cliKCliaT-g-es ctm-J poii)itlV wU.ii-at MaJ.iice to business. KoUa stxts consult ok. kte-.ttUlly. If in troobla, crsll or write Debvsar?cbnrous. 'l'rocr cuatlun ia ti thief of timo. writt warrantf of eis lvaa 1 ery cs cadsrtaken. C?5 Ren-!twort!vnr eelbtatedtrorJai ca Cktoatc ius and Oelxra- rHseasem. Vo hare im cxtiavwsttT lymptommolasy by Vilich to staciy rour own cases, Consuiuüoo. personally cr bv" Jener, fret. Consult the old trtor. Tlwninada cuMd. OfilceS and "lirlira T"rl Yoa kc do one bnt ih iartot. i.f?rcc.)iiiviii!K your case consult Lr.CiAHlE. A Iricnd'iy letf r or call ruy save f 'are sufffriof; Hzi i iuine. tin i zi' l roü'ica ycara to iifc. &icdiciae4 Bt nt evctT'Vii rc t-ccure troo ciponr 1 lours, tj to 6; tuD'iur, 'j to V, Adress letters: IK CLAHKi; M. KTo. SC VIMi iTn THE SCIENCE OF LIFE. Only $1. 1X KAIL FOST-rAlU csEii mien noRt si nincos. Et.fttisto.1 Vitality, rrvcn r.ysirjcJ PobClty. Prrjtiata Devllnd In u:an, Irrcrs ol YoatU, ftci tbenntold mlxeritrs r'vniUiK tnm Indiscretion rexue3. A hok. lor every man. Tonne, tnldicKed anl old. It ooatKüj Ii pre nptioai lot all acute and chron.'o dt-er, eai ft ouc tt wbica hi invsdUHhle, ho lourd by the author, vrueto cxperlnce tor twerity-thre yer Is soch v probably never tciore feilto the lot of any physics v. 30 p?c bound In bcAiitiful I'ttiicS rcuslin, emboated corei, fall RnUt pnaraateed to iv a Cnor work In every sense n3rhsjiicl, l.ürsry and proleio:isl thtn any other wors sold la titscountry for 52.5a or tbe money will be refunded In everr lii'tanc. Price nly tl by liMiil, postpaid. lloHtra,tiv8 s-iple 6 cjnt. Bend new. told MPial awarl(-l the author by tbe Natiensi y.cdical Assoclntlon, to Xht oScci of which h refers. Tbe Eelence of Life shonld be resd ty the yoosti for InstnicUon, and by tho afflicted foe relict It will benefit alL London Lancet. There Is no member oi society to whnm Th Science of Life will not be useful, whether youth, rorent, guardian. Instructor or clergyman.--ArvtinsuL addrets thu Peabody Mclirtl Intltato, or In. H. Parker, No. 4 Bnlfinch reet, 1m to Q. M., wbo Biny be consulted on all ctsoapos requirira s)iül and experience. Chronic and obttinate a:-, eawstb&t have bfltfied the skill of other pbr. c.Bndaf,reolaUy. Such treated moocas'uHy w'ti.ont au Ir-Msnee Ol failure Ut-uuua ttxts paper. ILKJL TH1HELF. ßlSHFJIPTIQE. 1 tm iff a sjas mwr aar w w - th.iiHn.i of twv of ti e ---l .. ard ? .: ""-T l., i,l,nrM. !i it .. .! c intrif'.-.' '.'"'f,' V AILK " i" ATlf fcn tt.h' "-vf.l' &a:s F.o.iufc iiix.A.iv:va.iai'i''Sk

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