Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 30, Number 44, Indianapolis, Marion County, 3 December 1884 — Page 3

THE INDIANA STATE SENTINEL WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 3, I884

3

THE HOHE.

D la let Mab ted that men besä ta Cut aiact ücre eael ono aas eataainaed Us aeutb ana '.lie kos of fe's poaacmloa and tortrrsea, warne ft win not depart u notbrng eai'a hla Bwsy, whence If He baa departed be imsi to be a wudem, and U tie manu be ceuea to w. dezOCBditlOD from Civil Law. Ttn atay at home, my Heart, and rest! i lite bird la safeet la the ne; O'er all that Hatter ifctir wlji aad Cj, A ttwk la hovering In the Ur " LoagleUaw. orp roLKS. Son j of tbe tuow-Flaae. Swift and Hirht, swL't and lifht, ratling, uiiin. tiiiiiDiti It ftems aa though 12 e Hake of snow Were cheerily, f henlj calliaic "Girls and boys, one and all, 'T:a lur yoa, to-day, wc fail. "Ou, the frolic, oh, the f an w will lute together, Yf ben the sun, lh? golden enn. (ilves on plearant wentlier! fcirls and bov, do not frown. For tae clouds sen 1 us down I "Htld'.nB down and runnlnc up lib, the fun and lauuhter! Don t you know, little folis, Thai what we re a(t-r? Irls and boy a, shoot with giee, boon the merry sport well aw. "Mere we come, here we com-?, Joy and kladnt-a Oricgin;:: Pen I j on ter the littli bods Tie arc softly UD-rlng? Girle and toys, one and all. l'ia. lor you, to-dy, we fail I" Youth's Con: pan Son, Information for Woys. M. triads Letter. J It is a queer boy who does not meet with an accident of some sort every week of his life For a sprained aukle. rub on whisky or arnica. If cold water will not Stop nowbleed, fold a piece of paper and place it beween your teeth and npper lip. A few drops of cold water on the back of the neck will Men prove a remedy. A cut finger will top bleeding if yon hoI4 it in cold water. If jon pet dirt in your ejes rub toward the temple instead of the dm?, A stone-bruise should be poulticed until oft enongh to lance. Jf you can's swim, remember to struggle as little as posjible if you fait into the water. A common chair would float you all aay, so long as yoa only rested jour Lands on it. Never carry a coin of any sort in your month. Enough greae and dirt can be washed oil a seemingly clean quarter to discolor a pint o water. Harden on the Water, f Golden Day. During the fourteenth century, the Azteca, a tribe of native Mexicans, for the want of sufficient land, invented floating gradens, or chinanupas, upon which were cultivated nearly all the flowers and vegetablesthat applied the ancient city of ileiico, for merly called Tenochtitlan. The original idea of this invention is suppesed to have been suggested to the Ait?cs by observing the floating islands of Lake Ciialco. Certain it is, their own artificial islands were constructed as nearly after the same manner as art can imitate nature. Large pi eces of turf were joined by reeds, ru.-hes, knotty and intertwining roots, and then covered with a sediment taken front the bottom cf the Jake. lhe?e rsft-rlke islands, often firm enough to hold a hut, were soon converted into rich pirdens, several of wbich were generally undt r the charge and cultivation of one Indian, who towed orpropelled them about at pleasure by means'ot a long pole. These gardens were oftn two or three hundred feet in length, about twenty in breadth, and had a depth of soil sufficient to nocrkh trees. They were separated fr ni each other by narrow dikes, and usually ornamented with a beautiful border of llowers or a hedre of rose-trees. "We can imnine that," pays one writer, "as they lav on the gleaming besom of the lake, the elTect was not unlike that of emeralds set about with jewels of pearl, ruby, sapphire and topaz." Few trace?, if any, now remain of those od re remarkable chinampaj of Mexico. Floating islands, however, are found in every zone, formed by turf masses which, being detached from the land, are held together by grasses, weedB and tangled roota, and drift hither and thitlier, the spirit of every parsing breeze, continually addin; to their accumulations. These island form into groups, and are in time covered with plant, hruhs, trees, and not ucfxequently even animal life. She Oeld the rort. There were brave girls among the early French colonists cf Canada. One striking ir stance is related of a mere child defending a fort for seven days against assaulting savages. In Edward Kggleston's recent historic series the story is told as follows: "One October morning in 1V.J2, the inhaditants of Vercheres, a settlement twenty miles below Montreal, were in the field at work. There were but two soldiers within the fort. The coxrmander and his wife were absent. Thoir daughter Madeleine, a girl of fourteen, stood on the landing with a hired man, when she hrsjd firing. "Kun. mademoiselle! run!" cried the man. ''Here comes the Iroquois!' "Looking round, the girl caw the Indiana near at baud. 8he ran for the fort, and the in dans, seeing they could net caton her, fired at her. The bulkta whistled round hr, and 'made the time seem very long,' as she afterwards raid 'As poon as ehe nearcd the fort, ehe cried out, "Toarms! to arms! hoping that the would get assistance. Bat the two soldiers were so frightened that they had hidden in the block hou?. 'When Madeleine reached the gate of the fort. Ehe found two women there rryiag for their hc6tand3, who were la the fields and bad just been killed. Madeleine forced the ru in, and abut the gate. .She intantlv went to examiD the defences of the fort,aad found that some of the palisades had fallen down, leaving boles through wnich the enemy could easily enter. "She get wbat help she could and fjetthenx -op. Then the little commander repaired to the block-bouse, where eh found the brave garrison of two, one man hiding in the corner, and the other with a lighted match fa hi hand. '"What are yon going to do with that match?' said Madeleine. 'Light the powder, and blow us all up,' anrwere.d the soldier. " 'You are a miserable cowardl' eald the Kir). 'Go cut of this place!' Teople are always likely to obey, in time f panic, the one person who shows resolution and coolness. The soldier did as Madeleine bade him. She then Hung aside her bonnet, put on a hat and took a gun. Her whole 'force' consisted of the abovementioned soldiers, her two brothers, aged ten and twelve, and an old man of eighty and some women and children, who did nothing but set mp a continual screaming, as soon as the firing commenced. 'Let na fight to the death said brave Madeleine to her little brothers, who seem to hays potteesed no small share of her own eenrage. 'We are fighting for our country and our religion. Kemember our father has taught yon that gentlemen are born to shed their blood for the service of God and the king.' "Madeleine now placed her brothers and the soldiers at the loop-holes, where they fired at the Indians larking and dodging about outside. The savages did not know how large the garrison was, and therefore hesitated to attack the fort; and numbers of them fell before the well-directed shots of the soldiers. "The girl commander succeeded, after a while, in stopping the screaming of the women and children, forjhe wai determined the enemy should perceive no sign of fear or weakness; she flew from bastion to buation to see that every tiefender was doing his futy ; she caused a cannon to be fired from time tn t'nie, parti v to Intimidate the aaveB, tad partlj ia Lope that the noUe might

i convey intelligence of the situation, and '' bring them help.

"Thus the fight went on. day after day, and night after night, the heroio girl keep ing up her vigilant eiertions so constantly that it was forty-eight hours before she caught a wink of sleep. "for a whole week Madeleine held the fort, with no favoring circumstances bet the stormy weather, which prevented the Indiass from setting fire to her wooden defences. At the end of that time reinforcement came down the river and raiaed the siege.' " LI TT LH FOLKS. A little girl who, with her parents, bad succeeded in reaching home iust before the rain came down, pai : "Well, we beat the Lord that time, didn't we, ma?" "Oh, mamma, mamma!" Baid a little girl the other day, as ehe saw a chicken without any feathers in her tail, "see the old heal She has lost the ribbons out of her polouaice." Little boy: Mamma, they call all the men in tfce oil exchange bulla or bears. Wnich is papa? ilamma: O, dear, Willie, don't ask o roaDy questions; po and ride your velocipede. Little boy: Well, I just want to know n hether I am a calf or a cub. I tion't understand what our 8unday-Ft-bool teacher was telling ua about a camel rjoiug through the eye of a netdlo. Shouldn't von think his hump would stop hiru? Small brother of the average Americas type: Mo, sis; he'd have to hump himself to get thron jh. The teacher in one of the schools was a little crocbety the other morning and made the girla stand aroind a little livelier than usual. One of the little misses, who had been upbraided, exclaimed to her companion: "Never mind, Cleveland is elected and she'll be turned out!" "Mamma," said a little girl, "do all the wicked people go to the bad place."' "Yes, dear." "And all the good people go to heaven?' "Yes." "And some people wickeder than other people?" "Yes, I suppose they are" "Well, I think that the people who are not so very, very wicked ought to go to the bad place only in the winter time. ' A North Side family recently received a visit from a well-known clergyman. In the family is an active little girl of three year:. She listened very attentively while grace was being said, and at it's conclusion she looked up in the clergyman's face and eaid: "Tain't pretty to tetlk so at the table. My papa don't." A teacher in one of the Sunday-sr.hools was lecturing a class of little girls on the n-i tiuecce of pious instructions in the for. nation of youthful character. "Ah, Miss Car line," said he to one of the class, "what do yoa think you would have been without your good father and pious mother?" "I euppoKP, sir," answered Miss Caroline, "I should have been an orphan." He Knew It hy Sight. "JohnDy, lo yoa know the tenth commandment?" "Yes'xa." "Say it," "Can't" "But you justsaid yon knew it, Johnny." "Yes'm, I know It when I see it." The Origin of the Political ltootrter, lChlca0 Nows.1 Questions as to the origin of the rooster & an emblem of Democratic succesa were asked a number of oldDemocrats, butnone soemed ab)tog!ve answer. Corumiosioner iloyne was.'inally appealed to. As an encyclopaedia of historical facta Commissioner Hoyne hss few equals. "Ihe roos-"" aid "he; "hy. I don't know, but it tttüj to me it cr-cirated with Chapman, who edited the Indianapolis Sentinel way back ia the 40's. The Indianapolis bentinel has always teen a Democratic paptr, and old Chapman wa9 a red hot Democrat 1 remember when Polk defeated CJsy in 1514, Chapman displayed at the bead of his pater a cock in the attitude of crowing. 1 ain't certain whether that was the first time he did it or not, but I know L'iat I never saw it before that time, and it was about 1S4 that I first heard the expression: 'Crow, Chapman, crow.' It became a popular phrase whenever a roodter was employed a3 emblematic of victory Democratic victory, for the Kepublicaus never used it. They never csed any emblem a great deal. Sometimes an eagle is displayed, and is now, but it is seldom. Since Chapman's day the roooter has always described Democratic triumph, being displayed by the Democratic newspapers." psetiator Voorhee. 'Huntington LVrmocraL Daniel W. Voorhees, one of the best dehaters and brilliant orators ever produced in the Uoosier State, should and we believe will again carry the fiaot Indiana Democracy to the United States Senate. For six j ears Senator Yoorheea has terved the people of Indiana in the most accepted manner. With all the abuse ef his political orfonents, yet none who assailed him could point to any betrayal of trust or corruption on the part of our distinguished Senator. His record is above reproach and this fact has had much to do with, the success of Indiana Democracy, Six years ago the party made the fight fur the Legislature, and at the same time run up the nama of Mr. Yoorheea for the Senate, We won. Again this year the selection of a Democratic Legisiatnre meant with the r?ep!e that Senator Voorhees was wanted as hi own successor. Th:s has been the situation in this locality at Itast.and to eecure the wishes of the party as expressed we shall labor and vote for the return of Mr. Voorheeä to the United States Staate, l.o-t and tiata. CH AFTER I. "1 was taken pick a yer u.o N ith bilious fever.' ' "My betör proi-ounced me cured, but I got sick strain, with terrible ixiir.s in my back and sid-si, and I xt so bud 1 Could not niove! I shrunk! From 2s lb?, to 120! 1 had been doctoring for my livt r, but it did ra no good. I did rot ix j'cct to live more than three month?. 1 teaii to ue Hop Bitter.. Directly my appetite returned, my pains left mo, my entire sjstera seemed renewed, as if by ruaijic, and after using several bottles I ani not only as sound as a sovereign, hut weigh more than I did l:'orn. To Hop Litters I owe my lite." Dublin, June C, 'M. Ii. FrrzrvrKtcK. CHAFTFtt IX. "MaMen, Mass., rob. 1. 180. Icntleraen I lOilcrei with attacks of sick headache." " "Neuralgia, female trouble, for years in the in ott terrible end excruciating manner. 'o medicine or doctor could give me relief or euro until 1 used Hon Bitters. "The first bottle Nearly cured me;" The second made rue as well and strong as w hen a child. - "And I have been so to this dar." Hy husband was an Invalid for twenty years with a serious "Kidney, liver and urinary complaint, "I'ronounccd by Boston's best physicians "Incurable!" Feven bottles of your bitters cured him, and I know of the "Lives of eight persons" In my neighborhood that have been saved by your bittere, And many more are using them with great benefit. "They almost Do miracles!' Mas. K. D. Slack. How to Get Pick. Expose yourself day and niht: eat too mach without exercise; work tbo hard without rest; doctor all the time; take all the vile nostrums advertised, and then yon will want to know how to get well, which is answered in three words Take Hop Bitters! None genuine without a bunch of green Hops on the) white label. Shun all the vile, poisonous stuff with "Hop" or "Hops" in tteif same.

THE STATE ?i Oll MAL.

Anno) Beport of lae Trustee and President, 8howlDg the Work Accomplished In the Paet Year A Prosperous Institution. The fifteenth annual report of the State Normal School for the year ending October 31, 1884, has been filed with the Governor. The receipts of the institution for tuition purposes are ?20,000 and the monthly pay of teachers reaches f 2 000. The number of pupils has increased to nearly three times as many as attended eight years a, requiring an additional teaching force. The salaries of the faculty average les than tlJAQ per year, and it is found to be impossible to retain them at the prices formerly pald.astaey are oflered more remunerative positions elsewhere. An appropriation of $5,0U0 for the especial purpose of increasing their salaries is recommended. On account of the failure of the last General Assembly to pass the Appropriation bill, the board was compelled to practice the most rigid economy and to impose tax on each student, which aSorded a revenue of $1,3 K). and yet the incidental fund was overdrawn f 1, 940.01. The Treasurer, W. R. McKeen, advanced the money beyond the receipts, trusting the Legislature to reimburse him. The title of the State to the ground upon which the school is located has been discovered to be defective, and the, Legislature is asked to pass an act legalizing the conveyance of the lot to the State by the City School Trustees of Terre Haute. A summary of the appropriations recommended includes the following: For addition to tuition revenue, $-3.000; for current expenses, $-5,000; for deficiencies in Incidental fund. $1,910.01; for library, J,0W; for apparatus. $1,000. President Brown declares that the success ot the school during the past year is unparalleled in its history. The following statistics are given in his report: Pupils enrolled during the winter term, 329; spring term, 512; fall term, 301; total of the three terms, 1.172, average enrollment per term, 391. A history of the school is given, together with the programmes of study, the vocations represented by pupils, the objects of the institution, the course of instruction, the success of graduates, etc. Seventy per cent, of the pupils were children of farmers, 10 per cent children of mechanics, 4 per cent, of merchants, 6 per cent of professional people and 10 per cent, of laborers. YICE PRESIDENT HENDRICKS. Qe Characterizes the Reported Breech Between Himself and Cleve land As False. Vice President Hendricks and wife reached home last evening from the Esst, and were looking remarkably well after their pr traded visit. To a Sentinel reporter who called last night, they expressed themselves as highly pleased with th hojpitality and cordial greetings which they had everywhere received from the Eastern people. Mr. Hendricks was busily engaged in looking over his mail, which bad accumulated during his absence, but he took time to respond to jneries concerning his visit. His attention was Palled to the sensational dispatches in the Western press regarding a disagreement between him and Cleveland, all of which he characterizes as absolutely false. He said Mr. Cleveland was exceedingly courteous,and that he received him with the greatest cordiality. They had but a brief interview, entirely informal and non-political, no questions of policy being suggested by either. He eaid that he did not think Cleveland was giving any attention whatever to ailairs connected with his approaching duties as Chief Magistrate of the Nation, and certainly nothing oi that kind was referred to. A VOICE FKOJt TOE SOUTH. A Georgia Democrat Declares That the Southern Colored Man Will be Protected in All Ills Right, lion. Austin IT. Brown, Indianapolis, Ind.: My Dxar Siii I thank you for your favor of the Sth. The triumph of the Democracy in Indiana is most signal and really remarkable in the face of the most formidable organization, backed by an ample treasury. Indiana deserves well of the Democracy, and her favorite son, Thomas A. Ilendrisks, has covered himself with glory. The election of Cleveland and Hendricks is the greatest blessing that could happen to the whole country, the South as well a9 the North. I rejoice In our victory, not from any partisan or sectional standpoint, or for the ypoii3 of office, but because it restores the South to her old place in the Union under the Constitution and the laws. The triumph of the Democracy means unification and purification and the obliteration of sectionalism and the color line in our politics. Under the conservative, honest, wise and politic administration of President Cleveland and Vice President Hendricks, the colored people of the South will be fully protected in all their personal and political rights. The Democrats in every Southern State will eee to it that the negroes art protected in the exercise of all the rights guaranteed them by the laws of the country. Our people will carry t ut their promises in good faith, and prove to the colored people that the Democrats are.b.iter all, their best friends. I can not drr l to yoa the good that will come to the ßonth. Politically, materially and socially no greater blessing could befall the Southern people than the election of a Democratic President I am confident that the National administration of our great party will be ao honest, intelligent and patriotic that under Ood's providence, our party will control the destinies of the country for an indefinite period. Y'ours very truly, Patrick Wal.u. Augusta, Ga., Not. 21. Jode Gooding and the Speakership. Hancock Democrat. J Now that the election la over and the result is before the country, with nearly twothirds of the Legislature of Indiana Democratic, the question of the Speakership of the House ef Representatives is already being agitated, and is of no small importance in its bearing on the legislation of the State. The Democratic party will be on its good behavior, and can not afford any wild, unjust or corrupt legislation, nor any legislation in the interest of the few at the expense of the many. The Speaker of the House of Representatives should not only be an honest man and in sympathy with the masses of the people, but also a parliamentarian of some considerable, experience, decision and firmness, and a Democrat whose high standing and ability is known and recognised throughout this State, and whose integrity and incorruptibility is unquestioned. Ail lair-mined man will without hesitation concede that Judge Gooding fills the above requirements, and in addition to all of which it can be truly said that next to Hendricks and Voorhees no man In this State has done more effective campaign service on the stamp for the Democratic party than David 8. Goodlag. For the last sixteen years, in every campaign, he has canvassed a considerable portion of this State and made two campaigns in Ohio, without office or pjy. If each services, tendered the party so freely and co ably, are proper to be considered in the election of the Speaker, Judge Gooding's election is assured. His labors have not been local, but general and throughout this State, and his election is not expected or desired or local, but general purposes. With General Hanson as President of the Senate,

and Judge Gooding as Speaker of the House oi Representatives, all bills detrimental to the public interest and all in iust schemes and iota to deplete the public treasury, would have a hard road to travel. KNOTTY PRORLE2L3.

Our readers are invited to lumixh erlxlnal enlf soaa, charadea, riddles, rebuses and other "knotty probiema," a4tireffi!BgalJ coram tmlceUona relative to thia department to a. B. Chadboam, Lewlston, Maina Mo. 1026. CnlldUh Woe. Once a small boy, with a one, two, Di l one hla two aa well as shoo ; Then aa he had toM what he bad done He cried, and aaid nla two waa one. It was the one his two dl 1 get That gave him pain and made him fret, A one-two in hi hand we pee, A one-two on his foot had he. NXLS05UH. No, 1037. A Ludlcrona Character. Though "rare and ludicrous" am I, A butt for scoffers made. Yet here I come, my luck to try In veral tied charade, Now just divide my name and see How odd the parts appear. My first assume the dignity, Of those who figure here. Who weave their thoughia in tnoot;"t rhyme. And make of words a toy, While second revels in thy dice, Great btate of Illinois 1 rejoice, ye poters, that my name Lots not to joa apply; And thai, aa firitt., yoa cave a claim That none will dare deny. AS IUJS0rSA No. lOtS. An Autobiography. I maintain, and, if necessary, can support by the best of proof, that I am a very peculiar character. "I give authority or power to do or forbear anything, by which the person authorized is secured or saved harmless from any loss or damage by the act." My aim in life is to secure justice and right I am a terror to law breakers. Although my intentions are good, I frequently fall into the Sheriffs bands, and often when I am executed it is somebody else who "stretches hemp." If you behead me I become infamous and vile, the associate of rogues, cowards and villains. Restore my head and senarete me into two parts, so that each part is complete in itself; and I become terrible in the extreme. My first has caused many deaths and saved many lives. Sometimes its aims are pure and holy, and at others damnable. My second is a frepuenter of theaters, public halls and churches. It flourishes particularly during political campaigns. It is not a political partisan, but is found in all parties. It makes a great deal of noise, but amounts to very little. You will do well to restore me to my original form and leave me so. d. No. 1029. Transpositions. An itsp of the pit And a drink meet for itTwo womb not seldom combined, Now turn them about Both in and out A "reward of merit" you'll find. Give them one more ihae And a bo vr rase make. Most traly the best ot Its kind. Bat No. 1030. A Thing of Woe. In the land of Sriln, 'eath the briKht b'.ue aky, Id the purple grupoa It's there am I. Where the glasses clink. Ana the laogh goet by, And the song is sang It's there aia L VTbere eyes grow dark, And voices tilth, And knives gleam outIt's there am L it November's Offer. A fine photograph album a very desirable pri7 will be presented to the Sentinel reader who forwards the best lot of answers to the "Knotty Problems" of November. Each week's solutions should be mailed WBthin six days alter the date of the Sentinel containing the puzzles answered. No. 1032. An Anacram. There is an Insect In the air That's very disagreeable there: And if the Insect be reversed A Etartling sound will on yoa burst. 1$. E. B. No. 103L A Numerical Knot Taking me over his extensive estate, my friend pointed out a magnificent 1, 2, 3, 4 standing about a 5, 0, .7, 8 from the wall ot his 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ti, 7, 8, and loaded down with luscious fruit TJsclb Clautk. Answers. 1013. Gal-vest on. 1014. 1. It is an internal transport 2. They are well read (red). 3. They are made of nothing and are very good. 10L Just-ice. 1016 A villa in Ohio. 1017. 1. Score, core, ore. 2. Start, tart art. 3. Relate, elate, late. 4. Scowl, cowl, owl. 5. Strain, train, rain. C. Trice, rice, ice. 7. She, he, e. 8. Bless, leas, ess. it. This, his, is. 1018. M on mouth, A nglesea, R ichmond, G louceetershire, A von, T ower, E peom. WIT AND FiaEADAJiTHT. Irishmen are proverbial for their intense 8 d miration ef the fair sex. This is probably because 80 many of the ladies are home rulers. A wag who thought to have a joke at the expense of an Irish provision dealer eaid: Can von supply me with a yard of pork? ' "Pat" 'aid the dealer to hia assistant "give this man three pig's feet" "Yon Americans," said an Englishman to a young lady, "have no ancestry to which yon can point with pride." "That ia very true," she assented. "Most of our ancestors came from England, yoa know." "I never shot a bird in my life," said a friend to an Irishman, who replied: "I never shot anything in the shape ot a bird but a squirrel, which I killed with a stone, when it fell into the river and got drowned." ' Papa, did mamma say yes to you right off when yoa asked her to marry you?" Certainly she did." "Wbv don t he aay yes now iust as quick when yoa ask her to do thirgs?" "Mamma's hearing 13 not as good cow, darling that's all." "You were asleep last night, weren't yon my dear, when I came in?" he asked. "Ye?, and it waa a bleseing to yoa that I wai asleep." "I hardly think," he returned mildly, 'that it was a great blessing. It waa owing to the tact that yon were asleep that I escaped a great blessing." ' Wife, I wish you could make pies that would taste as good as my mother's used to." "Well, my dear, yoa ran ont and bring in a pailful of water, and a hodful of coal and an armful of wood, just as yoa used to do for your mother, and may be yoa will like my pies as well." He concluded the pie would do iust as they were. It was growing very late, but the young man showed no signs of a disposition to take his leave. After relieving herself of several yarns, the young lady said: "Yoa have been reading about the Greelev expedition, haven't you?" "I have. Why?" "And yoa have thought- so much about it that yoa fancy yoa are now in the Arctio regions yourself?" "What makes you think so7" "Because yon seem to be under the imprea-

Ion that yon are in a region where the sights are six months long." He took his hat. Husband (reading from SoottV Not one in twenty marries the first love. How was it in your case, ray dear 7 Wife How was it in your case? Husband Yon must make the first confession don't answer like a parrot by aking me the same question. Wife Well, here's the honest truth. If you married jour first love, I married my first If yon didn't I didn't. A joke that kicied. "I played a good joke on my wife last night," said Tweezers, who isn't kept ont of jail on aooonnt of hia brightness. "What was it?" "I had our coachman stand in the dark hall and kiss her so she'd think it was me." "What did she do?" "Nothing. Ehe only came into the parlor and taid: 'Why, Tweezers, I didn't know you had got home." Chicago News. A young and very pretty "scoolmarm," who shakes the ferule over the heads of several big boys in Scriven County, noticed that the biggest boy wts very negligent about his studies, and in administering a severe scolding, atked him what he came there for. He replied very innocently : "I came here to lock at you." The young teacher blushed and smiled at the same time, and the lecture ceased. A foreigner on one occasion indulging In sceptical doobts of the existence of an overruling Providence, Sydney Brtjith, who had observed him, evidently well satisfied with his repast said: "You must admit that there is great genius and thought in that dis?" "Admirable!" he replied. "Nothing can he better." "May I then ask, are you prepared to deny the existence cf the cook?" asked Sydney. That Was Kay Enough. Salt Lake New. "How many wives has he?"

"Two." "And do they live together?" queried the tourist in astonishment. "Yes, ma'am." "And don't U'ev ever quarrel?" "Not that I know of." "What! They actually live together in the same house and don't quarrel!" ex claimed the inquisitor, "why, where is the ma of she added in breathless haste, "He's dead," meekly answered the little girl. What's In a Name. I Sifting?. "Matilda, what man was that yoa were talking to out at the gate last night," said Mrs. Yerger to her colored help. "He was my brudJer. He has jess come to Austin from Injun Creek." "What's his name?" "Peter Jones." "But your name is Snowball." "Yes, you see Pete's done been married. Dat's de rear on we hasn't got de same name no moah. Ef I had been married, I would nab some udder name, too." An Independent Preabyterlan, The Judge. A Nashville gentleman was overtaken by a pious neighbor betting on the races and using very emphatic language, in Chicago, during the past summer. "Why, J ," said he, "da you swear?" "Y'es." "And bet on horses?" Yes sir." "ADd play cards?" "I do.,r "Why, Heaven help us J . I thought yoa were a strict Presbyterian?" "Oh! no," replied J , I thought you were a strict Presbyterian?" "Ohl no," replied J ; "I am not - I'm an independent Presbyterian." "Ah?" "Oh!" A Narrow Escape. Burlington Uawkeyc "William Broker," she said to herhuabsn.l very earnestly, as they sat at the breakfast table, "look me in the eye and tell me the trath. Are yon losing all yoar money in a fruit speculation ?" He was scared to death when she began, but censcieus innocence gave him strength and courage as she concluded her question." "No," he said firmly, "I am not" "I believe you are," she said, shaking her bead, "for last night you cried in your sleep and eaid you had lost every chip you had in the world on one little pear." And then he gasped and admitted that he bad dropped a few cases in a little deal In 1 erl8bable fruits. But it was the narrowest (scape he ever had in his life. VARIETIES Over 307,000 widows have applied for pensions. There are thirty-two Catholic reera in England, The Germans have thirteen whole holidays every year. Nearly 2.000 watches are made every day in New England. A Boston firm advertises "shoes for elopements." They don't squeak. Six hundred and seven females are employed by the bureau of engraving and printing. There are 2,000 clergymen in London. There are 8,700 public houses and wine cellar?. The champion widow lives in Iowa. She sees that the graves of eleven husbands are kept green. A man who brings suit against a young woman and wins her for hia wife sometimes gets heavy damages. An English surgeon says that shaving Is a deadly practice, and if steadily indulged in shortens life by several years. According to a recent table over six millions, or 58 per cent., of the population of Germany earn less than $100 a year. The name Gazette has been in use for newspapers since 1570, when it was applied in Italy to a sheet that was sold for a small coin, gazetta. In Japan every newspaper employs a man whose sole occupation is to go to prison whenever a court orders that punishment for an editor. It ia related that husbands gamble away their wives in Siam. It would appear from this that in Siam a man's life is one grand round of constant pleasure. If any one Is fat!gued the best restorative is hot milk, a tumbler of the beverage as hot as it can be sipped. This is far more of a restorative than any alcoholic drink. The five principal cities In the United States which have Sunday night theatrical perfoimancea are Chicago, St. Louis, Cincinnati, New Orleans and San Francisco. An Ohio eidtor who attempted to suicide the other day was saved by hia "devil." The devil is cot ordinarily a means of grace.This shows the excelleat influence of a newspaper office. The cost Of ' transporting a barrel of flour from Minneapolis to Boston is one dollar. The freight on a sack of flour holding a bar rel, from Minneapolis to Glasgow, Scotland, is one dollar and twenty cents. Brewers report the sale of 43,550,826 barrels of beer In the United States in 1884. This is an increase of 1,527,401 barrels in one year. This is equal to f 11 per head for every man, woman and child in the country. Maud Oh, I think Mr. Textual is a splendid minister. Mary Why. I thought it was generally admitted that his sermons are very dull and dry. Maud Oh, I never listen to what be says. I don't care anything about that y'J know. Bat he handles his handkerchief so gracefully that I could sit and feast my eyes on him for hours. Boston Transcript. The cumber of deaf mutes in the world is roughly calculated to be from 700,000 to 900, 000, and of these 03 per cent are said to be horn deaf, the others losing their hearing by different accidents. The camber of deaf mutes in Great Britain is probably about

20.000, To neet the educational wants of these there are on the face of the globe 337 Jastitutions, containing 30,473 inmates of both sexes, and employing over 2,000 teachers. London Echo. Pressure on the ears is to be avoided by error s who wish to preserve their sense of earing.. Narrowing of the auditory canal by the pressure of a handkerchief worn c ver the head and tied underneath the chin, as it is commonly adjusted by the peasant worsen of Europe, often causes deafness; and the cornette of nuns, pressing tightly against the pavilion of the ear, frequently produces the same effect Gradual dilation by lamina ra tents is suggested aa a national means of cure. Take the open air. The more you take the better; Fellow nature's laws To the very letter. Xat the ilmplept food. Prink the pure, cold water, Then you will be well. Or at least you ought to. ' Anonymous. McDonald. IShelby Democrat. The name of ex Senator McDonald continues to be received with the warmest commendation by the Democratic press of tha country, regardless of section. His lang pubiic service, his ripe experience, his sound judgment, his great ability and unflinching Democracy challenge the respect of his countrymen. It is natural that the public eye should now turn to Mr. McDonald when the complexion of Mr. Clevelaud's CabiLet is being discussed. Hon. Joseph C McDonald is one of the purest and noblest men in the land, and has Broven his patriotism so often that none dare dispute it. In the Cabinet he would be a power, reflecting crtdit upon his country and honor upon the position he was called upon to 1L Cra't fords ville Review. Joseph E. McDonald is one of the most advanced of living statesmen. He ia preeminently a man of convictions. He waa a great power in the rece nt campaign. In the discussion of public questions, always broad and didactic, none can hear him and not be instructed. He is a great lawyer, and Mr. Cleveland could not do a better thing for his own and the Nation's welfare than call him into service as Attorney General.

A Kepublican Diary, reek's Eun. Nov. a. JCvory BepnV.iean must turn out to-morrow s. juia weamer. dui it a a cold day when, etc. 5. Our majority seems to be growing less. C. There must bo a big hita somewhere, 7. Qnitea heavy "ios" In New York. 8. Oh, we didn't couat on the South, 9. It's all go to church to-day. 10. Hiast the " Prohibitionists I " 11. They 'cooked onr goose:" 12. tfew York yet in aoubt 13. Must 'ave been frod. 14. IMn't give up yet. li. larn Dorchard ! IG. Let ub pray. 17. Heooped 1 1 M. Let; Ml A Uad Railroad Accident. MKwrnrs, Te dti., Nov. 23. Fr?icht train No. 14, going e6t, which kit here at 1:30 o'clock this morning on the heapeke, Ohio and Southwestern Hailroad, collidtd with freight train No. 9. went bound, two miles east of Honing' Station and forty-eight miles east of MempnK at 4:15 o'clock. Engineer Jack llooro acd linkerran Kotert Neely. of No. 9, were killed outright- Pt Welch, fireman of Na 9, and the fireman of No. 11 were boiled underneath the cars, and they, too. will die. Eieht freight tars and both engines were tadly wrecked. It will wrench Mr. J. R. Lowell's feelings acutely to be called away from the perfumed languors of London society; but he must come back to the land where the Biglows rule or else take pot-luck where he is without the $17,000 per annum wnich we pay to a plenipotentiary of the Al grade. His Democratic successor may not be able to write so meliiluoua a speech, but he will have more back bone. New Y'ork Star. The combination, proportion, and process in preparing Hood's Sarsaparilla, are peculiar to this medicine, and unknown toothers. GovERson Cleve:.A5o has engaged a suite of rooms at the Genesee, ButTaio, from February 4 to March 3, which would indicate that he will not go to Washington several weeks before inauguration to be bored by place-hunters 'I Love Der Better Than Lire." Well, then, why aon't yoa do something to bring back the roses to her cheeks and the light to her eyes?" Don't you see she is euifering from nervous debility, the result of female weakness? A bottle of Dr. Tierce's "Favorite Prescription" will brighten thos? pale cheeks and send new life tnmugU that wasting form. If yoa love her, take heed. lumiiiniiiiiiiiniiiiiHimiiimiimi Modern-Science sä Skepticism What has Skepticism done for the world ? Nothing but to sug-est doubts. It ha3 even sü Whted that UhruuiaiLsm cannot be cured, hk. pikiiiA 13 aa bad as l:heuinatlsm, What lias Science done for the world ? A good many things; for Instance, It hxj shown that KheumjtLsui can be cured. It has shown that Neuralgia can be got rid of. Modern science has proved t ü.U Kheumatlsm ü a blood dlsra.se, and Las provided Atuiifhokoj as Um remedy which can complt tely cure It. It has proved that although the old doctors failed toovercome Neuralgia, atulophouos can reach it, and eradicate It lrooi tho system. It has proved that thoujrh tbs tormntinar diseases were ao slownd obstinate, ttu-ycaä be overcome In a Uttlc hllc by means of JIlLIopLoro5 1 Pont be skeptical. If you have any doubts aa to what AruxornoEOS can do, write to some ot those whom it has cured. Kor Instance, Hev. 8. K. Do iinen. D. I)., Pastor Third Ccnsresatlonal Church, ;of New Iiaveo, Conn., the Kev. w. P. Corblt pastor George St. M. Ii Church, of New Uaven. the Kev. J. E. Searfcs, pastor Wiliett Rt M . E. Church, New York city, M r. BrummelL th9 weil known candy manulacturer, or New Yorkv Ex-Gov. Eigelow, of Connecticut and man others, equally weU known. If yni cannot fret ATHLorHOaoa of your dnunrint, we will send it express raid, on recvli-t of rarutar price one dollar pe bfttJ. W e prefer that you bvy it front your druinnBt, but if he Daont it, do not be prrfufeled tn try ozacUunff cl&o, but order at osoe from ua aa directed. ÄTHL0PHCR0S CO., 112 WALL ST., NW YORK. miiiiiin.iiittMiF t.niitt.ifitmtittti A Gold Watch. GOSSAMER GARMENTS. CARDS The trorriort cf tV.f Krr-HcrJ p n"fv- j tory iD Oo-i&-tirtft HhtD to ii.tr.wi"c th-ir Amb' Kami.1. ltok iulA rv h""i I w r. BMlwtb.foliowinx lttrl oHVr: Tk r " '"'-" l-H-"t YrrlthHil. U-fu: Jjiw l.i, 't ;,! m . a Solid t-old, L1t' Valh wtta fift. If l!.-f Uf ön'MOTA;l,n,wr iht4. will writ Uni.:n.lit.B .ui. rtt v ii' h; tf f kev -winding Swi A trh. Fjw-hiv-vn rrmp.-t'.rri"t tS -5 cte. with their .uwrr for whk-h th-jr ül t-Hv. S 1 jd j' V ulcrjtrvof : rarr Carmrnt, 1 p,.k IHWmi N. All l.irudnr Kew AeUU' Samrl. Hm. -! ft Pwi iiism l.it mw it) Io fit unii, C AI'ITUL C AKI M 1 li. CO., 1 1 ru' jpd. Cm CARDS "KWe4 IteaBlIp." Cl.r-iro. nh your nun on. lir. l'WT I".rd, full t cf limiPttfTTT r vrn ran of Tom iw.' f-jtl mtri-tto. fnri ym, rrrtnmm ctt j' i- .na our ,-rr.i lrl Paaclr. cnW ' W.tluilon. All Kttalsl, 1, U tlmu I. I'. . Card C'., Oowrtr.jok, Cvxm. TOJEK SALB. I7X)R SALE Matthews' Patent Renewable Hera ' orandnm Book, bend for aampla copy and price llat temples sent postpaid to any addreat OTLrecelpt of 60 cents for No. Lor 40 oonia for No t AddnaBZNTlFZL OOMTANT. IrMlhtnapollr

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THIS IS THE GENUINE? SOLD ONI.T IM BOTTlJS WTTH BOT WmArTERS. X that stbu ovxa coa a ruaaotxN. Our trade-nark around eTery bottle. In öc1dä ' Even Drop is Worth Its ffcisM ia Csldl

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i TCS? J'Trit. I f C-- tUMTED.) Itsubduoe andfteals all kinds ot Iafiammatfon CATAhKH, CXJLUS, 1IARKIIEA. KUECMAIISM, NEVRALisIA, ha cared mofi cases thari, anj thine ever picrihel. DIMlTHERl. ßOSUs; TUKOAt: Of t piomntiy, deiay is dsnjrrous. PILKS, BLIND, BLK"KD1"0 OR ITCHING, FIXERS, OLl OR NEW WOFND. BRD1SJ, BURNS, TOOTHACHE, EARACHE, BOREEYRJ, SCALDS, SPRAINS: tM protest known remedy. Controla HEMORKUAiE3, FEMALE COM PLAINTS. BLEEDING Now, Mouin, Stomach, Lunpg, or fron any cause. Ftoppel na by a charm. It Is called the WONüEK OF ILKA LING. tm xiTEKS ALLY AND 1N1FSS ALLY, We have BP S7B lanche of WHmonlala, Send for our book IMaiUsd free! It will tell yon ail about It, rr IP rssAFK to ts any it.fparatton irrrer thk (iENDLNE with ova ,dike-tion8. Prices &CC, roSro EXTBiCT CO.. 76 5th Are. Ken Tort. m Our On Eloo,! ri- r.ir. i. .f ir.tt r.f-t to all c'.asc. TrTiS t TTiailci! f r- n rvr i t "f 2 n;r aiidrrf .. TJt i;Lr. 1 m-iiic Co.."lrawc- J. Atiasu, Ca Constitutional Scrofula. A girl In ray employ has been cured of wha I believe wss ooaHitutlo-al Scrofula by the use Ewiit's Sptciu J.O. Mi Damel, Allatoona, Ga., July 25, 11. TETTER FIFTEEN YEARS! Pwlft's Ppeetficha cured rae of an obtiiiato Tetter of CUeta year' Ktan-lin?. L. Coo, Palineito. Ga., July 18, 1n4. Prescribed by Physicians. I have prescribed Swift's BpcclCe In many csf es of Bnod I'oisoa aod aa a eeneral tou'.caxid it haa made cures af er all other remedies haU failed. K. M. Stbtcklakd. M. D., Cckvetipriug, Ga., Juiy 2d, li. FEARFUL BLOOD POISON! A negro on my farm has been cured of a fearfal te of Blood Poisou ly the use of thrce bottl cl fcwiit's pecic Andrew J Howard, Forsyth, Ga., Aug. 6, Fresh and Fair Complexion. A your? lady who was troubled with Tctvnr and F-rnpiions Da been entirely relieved by a lew bonk-a of Ewiffs Ppvcific, and her completion lo fribh and ffiir a-jain. Tuos. H. Mop.oan. Greensboro, Ga., An. 17, lUr-4, Tetter For Eleven Years. Swili'B Bpocifc Lai cured mo of Teuer from wbit h I had suffered ior eleven year, and haa built up my C Jlieral ticiU'.h ao taat 1 leel l.kä a. new riaa. w. Lkk, D&7ori, Ga., Aug. ltM. Ewlft's SpetiCc is oruirely a vegetable preparation : no mercury, nopot-uh or other minerals, bend tor trvattne on Blood and fcfcUi Diseases, bvb, TUS SWIFT SPECIFIC CO, Drawer S, At'-aula, Qa. XVniptTrtfyl f3LOOD.--Utdtii LIVER aii'l KIOMTYB. Od HK-TOai T'! MKAJ-iA end VIOOH of rOTJIK. Vjrrn!. WaniofArpeUte, i nme -stion. j ack r :xr c r i-i. ad Tired tee Un? alwolutelr cured. Bönen, tuuscle ax) Ik' I I l 3 1 l.C 1 ... tniiTpn uie mini ana a 1 , nprlle lirul n 1'owtr. M " r I C C: Pnfferlnslrom complaint bifl Jf I Cm Wjmllarto tl driexwlJ Bod la DR. HARIXaS IRON TONTO a tj aa4 apdy cure. Olves a iear, licali.'iT cotnplr iloa. 1'reqaent attempt at eomiU-rtrUlrx tlyat)4 to the ii-jlarr.y of tho orient!. Do nut expert' WMPiifcV' 1 u'.n a i(iti i ja m.t.t LO.l', Pifa,I.V Or "i-'KKAM 23 BARWS'V! UUnU ftociABA, rratj CrofB w.0.rul UAjacrm ttoEk, to fr ia4laj Adrbruart. I tr traporu MI aaunk. kirk la rr baATia. tea. Avoid Uia liaaiij a tif v&Opm t'liot m) fnbfr wmma tut tburn tTMbka. OH r tr aw ter a& tritl yvlmf aa4 tMra kcrnrtao hM arfari :klsf tnatownt j. Tu a rca4r Uiat hat arai tLouaodt, aäS der Bt ia terfer. vtia mhium t. fcaaV ar aaaiw aia or taova. walfooa, IMial4 aa aaV etifia ral-l tactp Oraais la tmnr a4 mo" Voa. Vlretpl.-tMf ia aattftlMw BMratt apa ros EPZSS1T0RMÄ jam IWPOnHCY. tod rortyrerS try um ta thou et Ii?. TM tCO ill au ef tin kiEAa am In muicat. la Ut hich ka ii. taiai. B I i ' BAfrar.c. alt WJ Tba taw-J 5DCTJ ADDRESS y n. HARRIS REMEOV CO-MT Chtav KorU l(rU SU It. LotJh I, fol Vr-vnra TiiATknT. t3 1 2 MarTHaS 1 8 narnaia vattal ara (lrta aaoi. Hood Restored Kevi jt Ear t A virt in ot rout b f n 1 i m pro dtxriuint rreinatare Ik-ay, Nrroo Uftulitr, Lo. Manhood. A.-.. Laving tnetl in vin every knoma rin'dj.hadi(ixTprfd a rirnl'lfmraniof iwlf-cnra, ahioh ha mill wnd 1 KKK to bi ff.llow.-uff'n-m. AdUresa, JJLLEE V LS, 4J Chati.am &uc ora. A CARD. To all who are tulrertnt from r rors and tndl cretiona of youth, nervous weakness, early decay. l ot manhood, ew , I wUJ end a recipe fiat will cure yon,. TREE OF CH ARGS. This great remedy was alaoorexed 17 a BiaitonarY la Honvb Amcrioa, Hend aeJy . dreraod enveiope to RJV.BJcaarB fX. UnA,Eta Ken P. hem TotW

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