Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 29, Number 43, Indianapolis, Marion County, 28 November 1883 — Page 3

THE INDIANA STAjlJ SENTINEL. WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 28, ?883.

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'THE BELtS OF CIIKISTILEE.

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nest w. surETLzrr. The snnset banners of the day Shone o'er me e range-colored sea; A mi o'er VJi wndT beaches gray Low rant the bella ol Cbrhttilee. With sai'.f as white as tea-Kail's wins, onfsrread to catch the sweet salt air, The ba.-quea lay like enchanted things I'ptfu tome mystic ocean fair. y VW.m ikies beyond the cryital flood, 1 he crimron beam of glowing ÜR'it It ured on the calm the peace oi -ov A nd melted in a jtlory bright. And tlowly. softly died the df.y, .Across the sleeping, twilight sea; And sweetly o'er the beaches pray Kang out the bella of Cbrisliiee. Half sad, upon the shore reclined, 1 listened to the rippling tide, TiU peace stole through my troubled mind, And rare and thought in slumber died. - 1 aiept. yet in my sleep 1 heard The tea's sweet bymu in minor key. The low cry of the ocean -bird. The ringing bells of Christilee. When lo, I dreamed a sudden storm broke o'er the ancient ocean grim, The tempest clad in cloudy form With darkness veiled the zenith dim? The stars died out, the night grew wild. And yet no terror came to me For still, by music's charm beguiled, i ' 1 heard the bells of Christi lee. Cold darkness chilled the ebon sky. The sea in frothing fury dashed ; 1 heard the winds around me cry bile lorid lightnings flamed and Hashed. The thunders shook the troubled shore, O'erhead the storm swept wild and free; Vet wi::d nor storm, nor tnunder's roar Coulu j-tili the bells of Chrisiiiee. I woke. The nlsht was p'al with stirs, The moon's bright smiles maoc calm the sties, The ripples on the sandy bars Shone lilie a thousand sparkling eyes. Ah, never in the life I ho d Hiall I forget that summer sea. The pcaco the holy lesson old Ey those sweet bells of CI nstilee. WIT AM) PLEAsANTKY. There are 1,40.000,000 people upon the earth at present, according to the latest statistics." aidaXorth Side lady looking up from the paper.- Only think of it; and we haven't Lad a caller for two days. Small boy: 'Ta, did you know ma long before youruarrietl her?'' I'a: "I didn't I didn't know her until long after I married l.er." An Exchange asks was there a man f0 utterly vile and degraded whom so rue woman could not be found to pity and forgive? We . guess not but dear fneud what on earth have jou been doing. Married men hare nothing to say in disapproval of the "shingled ban;?." As a rule, a married man doesn't care what his wife does to her own hair so long as she keeps bar Lands oat of his. -A. conversation that ma did not hear: "I'a, . I was reading to-day where it say that a. woman's tongue is her sword." "Yes, my con; and just think of all the nations that have been put to the sword!" "Never mind, you young kid, I'm poing np to see your mother about this "That's . all rij.'bt," jelled Lack the small boy, "you just go right along up there. I'a rilled a man full of buckshot the other day for going to see my ma." "Man and wife are one, are they?" said she. "Yes; what of itT' said he suspiciously. "Why, in that case," said his wife, "I came home awfully tipsy last night and I feel terribly ashamed of myself this moruing." lie never said a w ord. A Texas debating society debated the question: "When a watermelon vine runs into another man's land, who owns the melons'.'" The referee decided that the colored man who lived about a mile and a half from the two fjrms owned the melons. "Why, dear, what has become of the morning jwpcr'.'" ssked a gentleman of his wife. "I thought you had finished reading it," she replied. "'I haven't read a word of it yet." A little later she ave it to him, but it "took five niinuu-s to smooth it into proper shape forpfru;al. Together thev were looking over the paper. "O my. Low funny," said she. "What is it?" he asked. "Why, hcie's an advertisement that says. 'No reasonable ofl'er refused.' " "What's so odd about that"' Nothing, nothing." she replied, trying to blush, "only these aie my sentiments." An exchange tells of a Chicago youns man who in a rah moment, told his girl that i ' she would hang up her stocking on Hallow fen he would fill it to the brim with something nice. When he saw her stocking he was undecided whether to get into it himself or buy her a sewing machine. The New York Journal is asked: "If a youth is engaged to a young lady whose father 'shnffles oil',' what is the youth's place at the funeral?" This is a somewhat dillicult question to answer; but if the youth were to "shuttle oft"' there would be no trouble to determine bis position at the fnneral. He would fall in immediately behind the clergyman. Montaigne who is now deceased, we believe said: "There is uo torture that a woman would not suffer to enhance her beauty." Hut we don't believe a woman would suffer the torture of seeing her husband come to the opera with a strange lady, when he told her, as he left the house in the evening, that he would be down at the office until midnight and she need not wait up for him. Not more than once. Professor Flower has been discussing the nature and value of whalebone in two very lengthy lectures. He is of course a bachek r. In the course of time, or whenever he arrives At that period of discretion at which a man warne, bis wife will be able to tell him more about the value and use of whalebone than he can find out in a month by meditating on a whale's mouth. Der next man corces iu und softly says: "Carl, voold you like to see der sbtreets of Detroit knee-deep mit plood?" "Vhell, no, Jot makes the sleighing pooty badt." "Do you vhantto see all der workir.gmen sitting on der sidewalf mit grief in der hearts?" "I guess not. Dot makes us all walk in der middle of Jer street." "Vhell, if you don't like to a all dis yon must vote for der Dembratic gandiate. He vhas der man dot pulls ua through. Detroit Free Press. "I wihh," remarked Mr. Blinks, in a emer sions tone, ''that you would learn to do things the way my mother did. Now. these tea cakes are not sweet enough, they have a little too much spice, and besides are a little mite tea'y. Now. my mother always" "Mr. Blinks." asked Mr.. C , with a dangerous light in her eye, "what did your mother do when you used to come home from school and grumble at everything after she had slaved herrelf nearly to death all day trying

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to get tnings in some sort oi shape lor auplr?" She sbe boxed my earn," murmured Mr. B. "I stall endeaver to do things as your mother did," sai l Mrs. B., quiet'y. Mr B. concluded that the cakes were pretty good. Written In 1540. Truly some men there te That live always ia great horror. And fay it goeth by desiiny To hang or wed. Both hath one hoar And whether it be, I am well sure, Hangln. Is better of the twain, bconer done, and shorter paia, Beadlly Zxenaed. Texas Blftings. He was quite late in arriving at the soiree fiven recently by a prominent Austin bell, and he immediately sought her presence to apologize, and said: "I beg a thousand pardons' for coming so lat." "My dear sir," replied the lady graciously, "no pardons are needed. You can never ccme too late." Another Outspoken Benedict. Archibald Forbes, the press correpondent, 'has been through seven wars and taken part in 150 battles, but yet is nor satisfied. We see I J tie papers ttat he is going t be mar

ried. Philadelphia Call. That is easily explained, lit has ben a non-combatant heretofore and wants to know what active service really is. Such ambition is commendable. An Accomplished Wife. "Ah, old fellow." said an Austin gentleman, meeting another on the Avenue, "so yon are married at last. Allow me to con gTatulate you, for I hear you have an excellent and accomplished wife." "I have, indeed;" was the reply, "she is so accomplished. Why, sir, she is perfectly at home in literature: at home in music; at home in art; at home in science in short, at home everywhere, except" "Lxcept what?" "Kxcept at home" Thsrs Wa Ost I Merchant Traveler. The census-taker was doing one of the interior towns, as in the case of these places about once a year, and at one place he interviewed the proprietor. After certain inquiries he said: "Have you a wife?" "Yes." "First oner' "No, the last one out of four." "Anv children?" "A few." "How manv?" "Thirteen." "Any idiots?" "Well, let me see" scratching his head, in a thoughtful attitude "I guess there's one. That's me. Put it down in the book that way, anyhow, on general principles." KNOTTY PROBLEMS.

Our readers are invited to furnish original enhj ma., charades, riddles, rebuses and other "knotty problems," addressing all communications relative to this department to E. B. Chad bourn, Lewiston, Maine. No. fi.V. Numeral Poszle. i As I was about leaving home for an extended trip through the Western States, my w ife cautioned me not to 1, 2, .'J, 4, ", 6 to bring with 7, 8, on my return, 0, 10, It a few specimens, but a large collection of dried 1. '2, 3, 4, 5, !, 7, J, I, lo, 11 blossoms. I entered the item on my note-book. I'ncle Claude. o. tWSG. Enigma. 1 was born in the Indian sunshine, A clnl'i of ttie tropic, .air; I luunhed in the breath of the ocean, 1 grew in the summer air. l:ut with the golden autumn 1 sailed across the foam: I went to the land of the stranger, I left my beantiiul home. Ey somebody's gay young sweetheart I was lovingly touched and caressed; Anl 1 tilled, by my subtle power. With a tranquil dream his breast Then 1 glowed like a Mar in the evening, My iieurt was consumed witn tire; And, like a moth of ll.e summer, 1 lelt myself expire. IMo, 57. Addition. 1. If one-ninth of Liverpool, one-fourth of Ohio, one-sixth of Naples, one-seventh of Denmark, one-tenth of California, and oneseventh of New York be conjoined, the result is a great city. 2. If we place to-pether one-sixth of Sweden, one-fourth of Iowa, one-seventh of Ipswich,one fourth of Asia, one-sixth of Africa, and one eighth of Oeeanica, we get a desert. 3. If we join one seventh of Sumatra, one sixth cf Kurope. one-fifth of Maine, one ninth of Australia, one-sixth of Borneo, and one-fourth of Peru, we get a fort. I'ncle Claude. No. G." 8. Charade. . To prcct my first the walN wtra gav it h holly garlands Lrulil; The yule-lo bi .z-d tie wiue was poured I ion thut winter uict. Eut all the world without w is white. And on the seconds ul- a:nei Lonjj icicies they c iu.:hi the j:low Tl:at fioui the C .inemeul sticaiucd. Within, a crimson curtain rose, Ai.d vHe my wi.oio io view. The laucKin;; children dust- red round lo tritt mis beauty new. 11. No. C.V.). lllddle. I am always in love, hut never enter into matrimony. I am always ia trouble always in a quarrel. I am lift; . 1 stay in the? world will never be in heaven. Indeed, I don't deserve to be, for I hare been caught in a lie more than once. I am never in a hurry. 1 have been in England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales, never in America loubtless you are shocked at my description of myself, but there h one go' d thing about me, I never get in a passion. I am an old acquaintance of the reader. iL. No. COO, Palindromic fqoare. 1. 4. A certain kind of nobe Is tnis; 'Tis not a shout, 'tis not a hiss. 1 be oil of roses, tili s we state; u. And this we call its duplicate. Hut two letters in this Hjuaie are used; Thus it ii hard to vet couiUMid. Ej.uk. Kn. 61. A Confirmed Bachelor. Tray tell us, ladies, if you can. Who is that highly lavored man v.'i.o, though he's married nuuy a wi'o, j:y be a bachelor all his life? liKRttKT IkEL1.NI. The November Prize The ender of the best lot of answers to the "Knotty Problems" published during the month of November will receive a line gold )n. Each week's solutions should be mailed within six days after the date of the Sentinel containing tie puzzles. Ana era. C43.- Everest. ('Ah Eland, seal, bat, chati, jackal, mandrill, bear, ape, gibbon, cat. b'45. Inertia. rJ4G.-1. Wood cock. 2. Car few. 3. Tip pe canoe. 47. Ida ho (e) C4S. Horse man. Adv.ee to a lonng Has, (Eurdette. And then remember, mv son, you have to work. Whether you handle a pick or a pen, a wheelbarrow or a set of book, digging ditchts or editing a paper, wringing an auction bell or writing funny things, 3'0'd mut work. If you lo.k around, aon, you will see the men who are most able to Jive the rest of their days without work are the men who work tue hardest. Don't be afraid of killing yourself w.th overwork, wo. It is beyond your power to do that, on the sunny side of thirty. They die sometimes, but it's because they quit work at 0 p. in. and don't go home uMil 1! a. m. It's the interval that kills, my son. The work gives you an appetite for 3our meals, it lends solidity to your slumbers, it gives you a perfect and grateful appreciation of a holiday. There are young men who do not work, my son; but the world is not proud of them. It does not know their Dames, even; it simply speaks of them as old so-and so'a boys Nobody likes them; the great busy world doesn't know that they are there. So find out what you want to be and do, my son, and take off you coat and make a dust in the world. The busier you are the less deviltry you will be apt to get into, the sweeter will be your sleep, the brighter and happier your holidays, and the better satisfied will the world be with you. . He was a visitor to the schoolroom, and wished to impress upon young minds that they should remember the Sabbath day; and here he quoted the remainder of the Commandment; after which be asked one little fellow if he always kept the Sabbath in view? "Yes sir," answered the urchin, "for I dinna get porritch on Sunday mornin's." A Baptist paper thinks some of the American Deacons might do well to emulate the politeness of their brethren of Pere Hyacintbe's Church in Paris, who say "Thank you to all those who contribute as they pass the plate. "We have seen Deacons," says the paper referred to. "present the plate as (hough it iv ere a jevolier."

TABLE COSSir.

" Cheerfulness is a spark from heaven. A handsome woman pleases the eye, but a good woman charms the heart. rriDters' ToasL-"The rress!" It expresses truth, re presses errors, im-presses knowledge, op-presses none. Thare iz pleanty ov pholks in this world whoze hartes bleed for the poor, but whoze pocket-books never do. Billings. ' Don't go too much on show. The drum major of a band, to be sure, is very attractive, but he doesn't furnish any of the music. Most men in our modern days are in the conditions described bv Bvron: Half dust, half deity, alike unfit To sink or soar. One of the inconsistencies of human nature is that a man may be disgusted with all the world and yet consider himself a pretty nice sort of-a fellow. A cheerful smile, a pleasant word. Which we can always si ye, Ferchance some drooping soul hath stirred With strength to love and live. . Soft words may appease an angry man bitter words never will. Would you throw fuel on a house in flames in order to extinguish the fire? The grindstone is the one piece of mechanism in use by all nations, and with all it is identical in form and principle. Everybody has some axe to grind. It is said that life at an elevation of 20,000 feet is impossible. Citizens who are in the habit of getting elevated every night must take care not to reach this limit. Let any man once show the world that he feels Afraid'of its bark, and 'twill tlv at bis heels; Let hnn fearlessly face it. 'twill let him alone; but 't will fawn at his feet if he times it a bone. Owen Mr.Rnbmr. A man's mind must be pretty well wraped when he takes a wrong for a right, and he must also be strangely ''prepedist" when he eats tar on hi3 buckwheat cakes and calls it molastes. Martin I. uther compared original sin to the beard of a man.' "We are shaved to-day and Icok clean ind have a smoother chin; tomorrow our beard has grown again, nor does it cease growing while we remain on earth." All the women smoke in Spain. In Italy the like habit is general. In Turkey every woman has her hookah, narghileh and chibouque. There is less luugdiseasein Turkey than in any other country and the women retain their teeth longer. As a personal ornament the spider has pone. His jopnlarity was brief briefer than bis legs, which were seen sprawling over the lett shoulder of many a fair dame and damsel armed for the conquest the last year. No use talking, the whole world is "mashed" on America. Lord Coleridge says "American women are the most beautiful in the world." Fred Gebhardt and the rest of us know what Mrs. Langtry thinks of the men. Fifty years ago Goethe predicted the building of the Suez canal, and stated that England would take possession of it when it was tinisbed. In one of his novel?, Alexander Dumas predicted the constructiotf of the 1'anama canal. There is true philosophy in the following lines: "There's many a trouble Would breaa flke a bubble. And into the waters of Lethe depart. Did we not reherase it. And tenderly nurse it. And give it a permanent place in the heart.' Flattery is the most delightful thing on earth. It is perfect bliss to be told that you aie great and good even when your crimes stare you in the face. There is an old English proverb, "None ever gives the lie to hiui that praiseth him." There are more wicked things told about mothers-in-law than about any other beings who ever lived. Mr. Walter Parke, in his "Songs of Singularity," puts the naughty feeling of universal mankind into verse ia tiiis vie : lie stood on his head on the wll 1 sea shore, And joy wd" tile cause of the nc', For he felt an iie never felt be.ore Instantly giud, in iaet. And why? In that vessel that left the bay His uiothcr-iii-law hud sailed To a troj'ical country far away, . W here tijers and knakes prevailed. A fact was recently stated by Professor Bell which is well worth thinking about a second time. The deaf mutes who have been philanthropicaliy cared for come into such relations with each other, being shutout from the rest of the world, that they intermarry and are rapidly producing a class of persons who are all deaf mutes. We have often wished that our barber, w ho prattles in our car while playing with the razor, were a deaf mute, there are people in the world who are capable of wishing that their wives, who speak to them frequently of their personal failings and in tones w hich imply that they have no personal tailing themselves, were either deaf or mute, or both; but it sceuis a little curious to deliberately produce a classof this kind, not for barbers or wives, but lor the ordinary purpose of life. There is a certain class of dreamer? who are always averring that Christianitv is either dying or dead, ir'uch things as iacts never, of course, enter into their head?. They Lave emancipated thenvselves from all restraint, and, like the fox who lost his tail and who went round wapgin a mere stub and declaring that tails had j;one out of fashion, these deluded people think that religion is dead because they haven't any themselves. A few figures, however, put the matter on an arithmetical basis from which there is no appeal. In the United States there are nearly fifty million persons We bave 115.01O churcnes more than we ever had before and they are being built at the rate of more than one per day. This gives a gloomy outlook to atheism and to those extremely advanoed folk who bave outgrown the Bible. We bave 81,717 clergymen, with our theological schools well filled with recruits. We have, including the Roman Catholics, 17,207,878 actual communicants of churches; or. in other words, one person in four throughout the Union is a member of the church, and not simply an attendant upon its services. Some of our blatant agnostics will bave to go into deep mourning, indicative of unmitigated sorrow, if this state of things continues. CCftlOlS CONliEMS tllONS. The Cream of Interesting Incidents Condeused. New Hampshire boasts of a pander which is known to be lifty-flve years old. A boom has set in for North Carolina marriages licenses. They have gone up to ' apiece. Strawberries were first introduced into England in 1530, when they were imporied from Flanders. Five women are candidates for the office of Superintendent of Public Schools in as many Nebraska counties, and all are regular party nominees. The Connecticut boy who has a third arm growiDgont of the back will b able to scratch himself between the shoulder blades without resorting to the corner of a building. General Washington and General Sherman, Dy a curious historical coincidence, issued their farewell orders to the army on the same day a century apart Nov. 1, 17831883. A man in Kingston, Ont. who feared that the body of his wife would be stolen, erected a ten t over her grave on the day of her burial six weeks ago, and has slept there nightly ever since. Blankets took their name from Sir Thomas Blanket of Bristol, England, who made them during the fourteenth century; while worsted is so called because it was first manufactured in the town of Worsted. A farmer in Stokes County, North Carolina, was paralyzed recently under ratberstartling circumstances. The weather had been unfavorable and his crop fell far beneath what be anticipated. In his disappointment he cursed heaven and carta &ad was fearfully

profane. While rioting in his blasphemy he was paralyzed. The Eads jetties must be ail richt. The larcest merchant steamer al'.oat except the Great Eastern, went through the jetties a couple of davs ago, with 10,018 bales of cotton, 24.000 bushels of corn, and 13,000 staves on her freight list. Of the European pewers having the largest colonial possessions, England has colonies whose populations number 2h7,lH9,879; Holland, 24,545.9J1; Spain, 0,399,317; France, 2,330,000, not including Gaboon, whose population is unknown. There are two cats at the London Crystal Palace show that are priced at 30,000 each. We shall expect some mute, inglorious American millionaire to become suddenly renowned as the owner of a hundred thousand dollar cat team before long. Shad, which were planted in the waters of California a few years ago, are naturalizing themselves along the whole Pacific Coast. They are now caught in Puget Sound, and, the'Alta believes, will soon frequent every river and harbor between San Francisco and Alaska. Dubuque, Iowa, has a boy's fraternity which is divided into four classes. The first is pledged against intoxicating drink, tbe second adds tobacco to its pledge, the third profanity, and the fourth all the conspicuous vices and crimes. As an experiment it is well worth watching. Tbe Emperer of Russia has decided to arm bis infantry regiments with American riües. Our small anus played havoc with the Russian legions around Plevna, and the Czar proposes to use them on the armies of Central Europe with similar effect. The Czar proposes, but God disposes. Miss Bertha Crowley of DejKsit, N. Y., dreamed three rights in succession ofner uncle's death in Texa. . impressed with her dreams, she addressed a letter to him. The letter fell into the hands of Iiis lawyers, who notified her last week that she had fallen heir to f 50,000 by her uncle's death. The weddiHg ring given by Martin Luther to Catharine von Bora is still in existent e, and has been lately placed on exhibition in Frankfort-on-the Main. It bears a representation of Christ upon the cross, and in it is seta small ruby. The inscription is: "Dr. Martin Luther; Catharine Bora, June 13, 1523." The news comes that tbe new French Minister of War intends to devote all his energy to the mobilization of the French army, and this confessedly in view of a prospective war with Germany. It is about time that our astronomers should be on the lookout for another big comet portending evil to Prance. A Maryland man has secured a divorce from his wife on the ground that she wouldn't let him read the Bible. There are two sides to every question, and if the maa is oneof the kind who starts in to read his Bible just when he ought to be doing chores and bringing in the morning's supply of wood, we sympathize mostly with the woman.

LITTLE POLKS, A little chick of four years surprised his mother the other night by adding the following to bis evening prayer: "God blss papa and mamma, and Aunt Lizzie, and bubber Hiram, and Tilly and all the other kids." "Who held the pass of Thermopylae against the Tersian Host." demanded the teacher. And the editor's boy at the foot of the class spoke up and said: "Father, I reckon; he hoit's an annual on every road in the country that runs a passenger train." He went up bead after the rest of the class went home. The Pinchbeck family, of Austin, is considered one of the meanest, stingiest and close fisted of any in Texa. One night a new baby made its expected appearance in the Iinchbeck family and when Johnny Fizzletop heard the news, he said: "Golly! won't that baby be surprised when it comes to. tind out what kind of a stingy crowd he Las got in amongst!" A doting Christian father tells of hij four-year-old boy who was presented with a trumpet, wih which he was greatly infatuated. All day the boy tooted away delightfully, and at bedtime when his grandmother told him to put the trumpet down and say his prayers, the little fellow said: "Oh, no, I'll tell you what let's do, gran'ma, you pray and I'll "keen on b!owini'." In the Parlor. "Did you come here to see my sister?" "Yes, my little man." "Well, you can't see her to-night." "Why notr " 'Cause she's sick." "What's the matter?" 'Our big dog ran off with her new teeth this afternoon and she cau't find 'em anywhere." In the Sunday-School. '"Children, can yoa tell me who wrote tbe Psalms?" "Yes" m."' Well, who was it?" "Samson!" No, no; it was David. Now do you know what caused Uoliath's death?" "Yes'ni." "Well, Tommy, what was it?" "To much gin sling, ma'am." In the .Nursery. "Mamma, what Is a cipher?" "Why, my child, a cipher is a naught; that is, it is nothing." "Well, then, papa must be a naughty nothing." "What makes you think so? " 'Cause papa caught bold of nurse this mornina and said: 'J cipher a taste ot your lips,' and she smacked him." "Did she slap him with her hand?" "No, ma'am; but she bit him right in the mouth." The new Duchess of WestniinsUr, wife of one of the richest men In Kurope, vai married in a dress of white foulard, costing 75 cents a yard. This certainly Is economy, and economy it is to use Dr. Buh'a Cough Syrup, the great remedy for coughs and colds. Tbe trustees of an Erie, Ta., church evaies a lawful debt by pleading it was barred by the statute of limitation. It is not Impossible they may be barre J lrom- another place for the'wantof naturalization papers. reoria Transcript. Hood's Farsaparilla is an extract of the beat remedies of the vegetable Kingdom knoivn ai Alteratives and Blood Purifiers. A Bridgeport minister is worried because he performed a marriage ceremony witbout looking at the license. After the "ceremony he found that the document was issued in Massachusetts, and now he does not know where his couple are spending, their honeymoon, so as to warn them that they must begin all over again. Tbe drunkard swills alcohol. Wise men nse fcaniaritan Nervine, the king of all remedies. "Our child had fits. The doctor said death was certain. Samaritan Nervine cured her." Henry Knee, Verrilla, Tenn. At druggists. All the declamation, says the American Israelit, on the decadance of Judaism is absurd. Our congregations steadily multiply and the established ones grow In membership and in a spirit of attachment and good faith. Miss Nellie McGuire, 27 South New Jersey street, Indianapolis, says: "Browu's Iron Bitters entirely cured me of Nervousness." Have you taken a cold? You can cure it promptly by using Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. Allen's Brain Food positively cures nervousness, nervous debility, and all weakness of generative organs; fl; six for $5. All druggists. Send for circular to Allen's Pharmacy. 315 First avenue. New York. Sold in Icdianspclia by Browsing & SJoao,

Vital Questions! Ask the most eminent physician Of any school, what is the best thing in the world for quietinc and allaying all irritation of the nerves and curing all forms of nervous complaints, giving natural, childlike refreshing sleep always? And they will tell you unhesitatingly "Some form of Hops!" CHAPTER I. Ask any or all of the most eminent physicians: "What is the best and only remedy that can be relied on to cure all diseases of the kidneys and urinary organs; such as Eright'a disease, diabetes, retention or inability to retain urine, and all the diseases aud ailments peculiar to Women" And they will tell yoa explicitly and emphatically, "Buchu!" Ask the same physicians "What is tbe most reliable and surest cure for all liver diseases or dyspepsia, constipation, indlcestion, biliousness, malarial fever, ague," etc., and they will tell you: "Mandrake! or Dandelion!" Hence, when these remedies are combined with others ec vudly valuable And compounded into Hop Bitters, such a wonderful and mysterious curative power is developed which is so varied in its operations that no disease or ill health can possibly exist or resist its power, and yet it is Harmless for the most frail women, weakest invalid or smallest child to use. CHAPTER II. "Patients Almwt dead or nearly dyins" For years, and given up by physicians of Bricht's and other kidney diseases liver complaints, severe coughs caüed consumption, have been cured. Women gone nearly crazy! From agony of neuralgia, nervousness, wakefulness and various diseases peculiar to women. People drawn out of shape from excr:: dating pangs of Rheumatism. Inflammatory and chronic, or suffering from Ftrofula! Erysipelas! Salt rheum, blood poisoning, dyspepsia, indigestion, and in fact almost all diseases frail Nature is heir to Have been cured by Hop Bitters, proof of which can be found in every neighborhood in the known world. If People Will Chew they should counteract the injurious effect of tobacco upon the teeth, with the sterling preservative and puriner, SOZODONT, which not only whitens the teeth and renders the gums healthy, but banishes from the breath every objectionable odor. Certain tooth powders, pastes and washes, although they cleanse, also injure the dental enamel, but this matchless toilet auxiliary preserves and strenßthens it. Its origin is botanic and its flavor aud odor delightful.

A Droggist'a Story. Mr. Isaac C. Chapman, druggist, Newbursr, N.Y., writes c: "I have lor tbe past ten years sold several gross of Br. Wm. Hall's haUam for the Lungs, lean say of it wb at I cannot nay of any other medicine. 1 bave never heard a customer apeak of it but to praise its virtues in tbe biguea manner. I bave recommended it in a crest many cases of Whooping Coujih with tbe happiest eflects. I have used it in my own family for many yearn. In fan always have a bottle ia the medicine closet ready for use. . Henry's Carbolic Salve I the best Salve for Cuts, Bruises, Sore, Ulcers, Jalt r.heu to. Tetter. Chappea Hands, Cuilblalns. Com and all kinds of Skin Eruptions. Freckles and Pimplet. Uet Henry's Carbolic Salve, as all oihrt are counterlei:. I'rlc 25 cents. HALL'S n r j 'ft; Roccmraencted fry Physlclansl TTe manufacture p.o i cell it witha positlvo j cjsrcr.teo tht'.t vHl euro any; , ,e,riil forf'i't th? above aaiouat t.' i'ij.i.sin a sinffo instance, It is uniilO ö'y oTimt Catarrh retnedy.aS St : takon internally, actinß upon t'TO b'.OOrf it jou ti troubled with this Stressing disease.ask your Druggist for it, and ACCEPT hO IMITATION Ca SriiSllTUTK. If h 1 ia not got it, tend to us and we will forward iaimediately. lriee, 75 cents per bottle. , f. J. CHENEY L CO., Toledo. Otic, j 65 S, Cfrii St., Op?. Court House, CHICAGO. A rmlir ernenn 0 Tha fl1tat Kneotiilta Wt of New York. boM LIl'K ixno kxh.juknce, perfect method ana pure medicines insures H KKKY aud MIKMANfcXT CcKf-.n of ail Frivte. Cbronic and Nerrous lm. M?i Affection of the li!o2,Skln, Kldiirv, lllnddfr, Ivr-nrtln. l'tcf f. Old Kn,fHr-lliaii r W UlH4.,lare Maaih, Throul. Hone Pain, Jx.niun.Dtly cured aoa rrndi td from the wm for hie. fiCQWftllC &Mlit, lmpotennj. Semi114.1 U9 tutl Sjcital Itoratj, Alrntal a litt I'ltysieal IVeahttrr.n, l'niting JHeuwri', lfeali Eyes, Stunted lMcdop tent, Impedimenta to Xarrlagt, efc, from excesses or UMtj cause, mpetlilff, acrely end pricnte?'J Cured, a3Toung, Mid-M-Agd aud Old 3Ien, and all who need Mfrdiral SriUl a Mi Jjrperirucr, consult Xr. Hute at OMfC 11 is opinion eocta nothing, and may rare future misery and fehame. When inconvenient to rUit the city for treatment, medicines can he sent everywhere by mail or expreae fr-ea from ebter. vation. -It ia eelf-evideDt that a physician who $if h.a whole attention to a class of diseases nttalna pre at kill, and phyticians throaphont tbe country, knowin this, frequen tlvrecammend difficult caaee to the OIlet Mpr laUlat, bv whom every kiowa food ivardy ia used. arDr. Bate'a Are and Experience make hia opinion of auprrme Importance. trfTht who call rre no one hrtt the Doctor. ConnTiation free and aacredly onfioBt1al. Caaeswbirh have fail J in obtftimnff relief eiaewhere, especially aolirited. Female Dieaues tre ited. Call or write. Hours, fmm 0 to 4 6 to 8 1 Bund&rs. 10 to IS. JLddreM as wtva AlJEimiI4DWFOWERCTJKES. OIUMPHREYS' ITU SPECIFICS. In um 30 ye.irs. Each number the special pnerriptlon of an eminent povelctan. Tbe onlv Simple, Safe and bare iied .ctuea tor the p wi ust parscipai. voa. CCaza.. raici. 1. Fever, Congestion, Inflntnationi..'... .55 2. Worin. Worm ever. Worm Colic... .2 3. 4'r-tn Colic, or Te-tbing of Infants .IV 4. riarrhea of hiMren cr Adults 2 1 A. nyarntarv. Grlpinj. BHIIoua Colic,.. .33 . Cholera Morbus, ornltlng .25 1. Concha, Cold, Itronchttls, H. enraala. Toothache., laoeache .25 9. Headachea, Kick Headaches, Vertigo .24 10. Dyspepsia. LiUous fc torn ach, 2 11. Suppressed Painful Periods,. .21 19. Whites, too Proruae lerlod, j .25 1 I. ( roup. Cough, Dlfflcnlt Breathing,... .2ft 14. (alt iihettm. Erysipelas, Eruptioos, .25 15. Kheamatlsm, RfieumatloPaliia,.. . .2 1 8. Fever and Acne. Chill, Fevr. AfUes .40 17. Piles, IiUnd or Bleeding. .. .50 Ifl. Catarrh, aoute or caronlc; Influenaa SO 20. YYhooptnf Conth, violent coug-ha. .6 2 1. Oeneral Debility. Physical Weakness. ftO 27. Kidney DIm-st AO 2 ftervona Debility. 1 0l SO. t'rlBary Weakness. Wetting tbe bed .0(1 ti. Disease f tbe Haart. Palpitation. l.OO bold by drugglau. or aent by the Case, or sla fie Vlaf, free of charge, en receipt or price. Fend for Dr.Hnmphreys Book on Diaeaae.Ae. (Ms pages), also Illustrated Catalog FHEK. Address, Hnraphreya Homeopatble Medteii Co.. 109 Fulton Street. Aew York. ... This KELT or Regenerator It made expremly for the eure -.f derangements ef the generative organs. There Is no mistake about this Instrument, tbe continuous stream of ELECTRIC IT y permeating throngb the parts man i V S f t reatore mem to neaany 1 . XX ijr . I action. Ihj not confound RlaTFT VY ilV h' "ft" FJeevHo Belts l.ira.U-1."-J I 1 advertiaed to cure all iUs IiiPM V.'Vm'II I fromhpadtotoe. It Is for HIUI Vv Ulllal theONKtpectne pnrpom. i- ni.r giving lull information, addresa Cbvever EMMiirtu Ütit Lo.. 103 Waablngton 6C. Chicago, J'U a week in your own town. Terms and S3 outfit tree. Aädreai H. Ballett c Co.. Portland, Kr

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Tbe fcUowiagsjisptviss are sere indications cf Diseite cf tie Uur, eonraonly called

LIVER COMPLAINT: A Furred Tongue. Languor and Depression. Melancholy. Always Tired. Irregular Appetite. Pain in the Right Side, which is increased by pressure. Pain under the Shoulder Blade. Belching or Flatulence. Scanty Diarrhoea. Mausea and Vomiting. Any of these symptoms show that the liver ii not secreting the rroier amount of bile. From this cause tbe stomach and bowels are clogged hj undigested food, which by poisoning the blood h producing disease in every pert of the tystcm. If these symptoms are accompanied by a short, dry cough, with difficulty of breathin?, there Is always danger of Consumption. Kine-tentna ot all tbe deaths from Consumption are caused by neglect of these first causes, a diseased and inactive liver and the indigestion of food arising therefrom. MANDRAKE. Its Ises as a Medicine ia Diseases of liver. Stach and Bowels. Mandrake tras first used by the Indians, in a Crude State, but even in their hands performed such wonderful cures that it attracted the attention of physicians, more especially as it was fonnd to produce all the good results of mercury, without any of the dangers attending the use of this mineral poison. Sin e its Introduction to the medical world it has almost entirely taken the place of mercurial preparations in diseases for wnich mercury was formerly used. . Mandrake la found turonghout tbe United Statt in low, shady situations. It bears its flowers in May or June, and matures its fruit in September or October. It is wore common in the Weitern and Middle States than in New England or the South. The root only is used as a medicine, the proper time for gathering being the early part of November, soon aficr Ihe ripening of the fruit. It should never be used when freshly pathered, aud evea when dry it will sometimes cause scvcie iiu unless combined with other medicines. We ask the reader to carefully peruse tbe following opinions of two eminent physicians on the great curative properties of Mandrake; Professor John King, M. l.,sas in the American Dispensatory: "As a deobstrucnt it isoneof the most valuable in our materia in e lies, acting through and upon all the tissues of the system. In bilious and typhoid febrile diseases it is very valuable as a cathartic, often breaking up the disease at once. 'In Chronic Hepatitis (Liver Complaint) there is not its superior in the whole range of medicines, being vastly more useful than mercurial agents, arousing the liver to healthy action, increasing the flow of bile and keeping up these actions longer than any other agent with whlca we are acquainted. In constipation it acts on the bowel without disposing them to subsequent costiveuess. Asacholagozue cathartic it probably has n equal. It produces a specific action on the Ii V arousing it to action and producing free bilio evacuations. Tn bilious fevers, either remittent intermittent, as well as acute disease of the liv 1 or billons pneumonia, it not unfrequently arres t the disease at tue first prescription, or It so far modifies tbe attack that the case becomes mild and manageable. In chronic Hepatic derangement (Liver Complaint), with Dyspepsia, it Is a most valuable remedy. Its range of application i perhaps more extensive than any other cathartic medicine, and while in any and every case it will do all the good that ia claimed for mercury, it is entirely free from any of tbe objections to that article." The late Professor T. V. Morrow says : "Perhaps no medicine baa been introduced to the medical profession for the last 100 years which promises to be of such value as Podopbyllin (Mandrake.) An experience somewhat extensive in the use of this agent in the treatment of a great variety of ca of disease, has fully convinced me of its Immense value as a remedial agent, especially as a purgative and alterative. It opeiates with energy and efficiency, without harshness, leaving the bowels in a gently lax condition for two or three days after its operation. With one single dose of this medicine I bave frequently arrested a severe sttick of bilious rcmlttcut fever, requiring nothing further to complete the cure eicept some gentle tonic and a proper avoidance of the exciting causes. Ihe tesulu of m experience in theuseoftnU article as a remedial ajent, on the whole, are sucn as lo leave no doubt in my mind that it is destined to occupy a conspicuous place among the most valuable remedies of the materia mcdica, with a very extended range of applications In the treatment of disease. Indeed, it promises to be more than a substitute for mercury In ail those cases where mercury has proved of any aubstantlal value, without tbe liability of producing injurious eflects on the constitution of patients." Mandrake has been ued in many forms by physicians and others, but it was never brought before the public in a perfect and practical way until prepared and combined wita other valnable medicines by DR. J. U. SCHENCK, OF PHILADELPHIA. Thirty years ago he began the manufacture of his now celebrated MANDRAKE PILLS, and since that time tbey have gained tbe confideuce of the public so fully that their sale in tbe United States now far exceeds that of any other cathartic medicine. They do not produce sickness at th stomach, nausea or griping. They act directly o tbe liver, the organ which, when in a healthy con dition, purines the blood for tbe whole body. They are the onlv perfect preparation of MA DRAKE, that substitute for mercury. The is not their equal in the whole range of Carthar Medicines known to man. They will cure the m stubborn caes of Liver Complaint, that great forrunner and cause of Consumption. With the aid of Dr. Scoenck's Seaweed Tonic, they will cure the worst cases of DyspepMa, Dr. Schenck's Book on diseases of the Lungs. Liver Complaint and Dvupcpsia is sent free, pot paid, to all applicants. It should be real by all who axe Olcicd with these diseases. Address DR. J. H. SCHENCK & SON, Corner Sixth and Arch Streets., Philadelphia, Pa. Dr. Scbenck's Mandrake nils. Seaweed Tonic tad Pulmonic fjrup are sold by ail druggista.

BEECK V AND -YAFTEH Electric ApptUxet are sant ea 33 Days' Trial. TO MEN ONLY, YOUNQ OR OLD, Wnu are rarrenn; iron Famvocv DaanJTT, Lor; VrrLrrr, Lac or Kaava roara an Tieoa. Wamse H iiiiuiu ad ail taoaa dip ft a KiRaoBAt Karcaa reanlttne from A arses and Orvaa Cacsaa. Speedy relief and eomplet raatoratlon of Haai.rB, loot and ILaaaooa uciuinin. The grandest diacovery of the hiiwtrnth Ontury. Sed at one for Ulnstratod Pamphlet free. Address . YCITA1C HIT CO., MI.ItHAU.MfC1. JalT.32U;ÜCllIl.lit.l3 ju tr r, r.ois for theezprcss purpoa 1 4 .ticfl!; yiyif oi cvnß immediate rcuciin f.l i .',V lr all chronic, urinary and priate diseases. Conorrhra j'.cet andSyphilis is all their corr.rUcated forms, also all J cu.es sea of the Skin and Flooa promptly relieved and tir' T ' A. t crmanentlycored by i rv'r'ÄO dics.tcFtedin atony ?l"-ial I'ractiee. Sei i rrmei l'ear Seminal Weakness. NVht Lcsses by Dreama, Pimple on theFace,lxt r.!ar.hooi, jusi'tirelif rurrd. The-r ta no experiment inn. The appropriate remedy is at once used in each cie. Treatment by correspondence if a vitit ta the city is inconvenient. Medicines sent by Mri! and Express. No marks on package ta indicate? its contents or the sender. " All Vonsitiiationa and t'cnununi rations sacredly Confidential. T 1 If ?S Wl ft S TiwT r?W A positive atxS JA... Wita Js' 3 AJaisfiUsI I reliable rem. edy ior Discard cf tiie Ki laeys, Female Weak nes3, Leucorrhsea an J Pbinful A'enstruaticaa 12.00 per quart bottle ; C bottles for $10. tl 1ZV WH? P7 2w3 Tf"-e bnt known rem, JAu;i WIM U ßWäieäy in the world for Nervous Debility. Lost L-rergy, Imprudences of Youth or later Yetrs, Wasting Diseases, and Dyspepsia. $1 per rjjart bottle ; C bottles for f öJAK? Karos mil räotsi Th"?y act like a charm upon t.? debilitated Nerr ous System, invijerate the Generative Organs and radically and permanently re move all imme diate and remot; effects of exhausted vitality caused ty imprudences or excesses. $1.00 per box; C boxes for $5.00. Sent by mail, sealed, oa receipt of price. Address DR. JAMES.No. 204V.'ashinglon SL.Chicago.lIL ust'aTj jmiaii'i 1 1 in r wi nasi 265TH EDITION. RRICE $1. KHOW THYSELF.SÜÜ? GBE1T JEHICAL HOEK 01 MlinOOJ, Exhausted Vitality, Nervous Physical Debility. Premature Decline in man, Krrora of Youth, and' the untold miseries retailing from indiscretions) ir excesso. A book for every man, young, middle-aged and old. It contains 125 prescriptions for ail acute and chronic diseases, each one of which is invaluable. o found by tbe author, whose experince for twenty-three years is such as probablr never before fell to the lot of any physician. 300, pages, bound in beautiful French muslin, embossed covers, full guiit, guaranteed to be a finer work in every sense mechanical, literary and. professional-tl aa any other wor sold in this ' country for fi50. or the money will be refunded, in every instance. I'rice tnly SI by mail, postpaid. Illustrative sample 6 cents. Send now. Ohl mtdal awarded the author by tbe National Medical Association, to the otlicefs of which bo refers. mis ooos glioma re reni vy tne younz ior instruction, und by afllicted for iel.ef. " It will benefit all. London 1-anctt. Address the f'tatx)Jy Melical Institute, or Dr. W. 1). Parker, No. t PulUnch s:rcct, Beaton, Mass., who may be consulted on all i.-ases repairing skill ana cxiKTicnce. Chronic and obstinate discases tl.Rt l ave baflled ti e t-kill of other physiriant a specialty. H:ch treated successfully without an iusiar.ee of failure. liAL THYtLF. n i . 1 1 , . , , . l r . AYER'S Ague Cure IS WARRANTED to cure all cases of malarial disease, such as Fever and Ague, Intermittent or Chill Fever, Iieiuittent Fever, Dumb Ague. Bilious Fever, and Lirer Complaint. In case of failure, after due trial, dealers are authorized, by our circular of July 1st, 1882, to refund tbe money. Or.J.C.AyeriCo., Lowell, Mass. Cold bj U Druists. LOST MANHOOD CAN BE RESTORED, And Nervous Debility, Seminal Weakness, and all Evil Effects of tbe Errors of Youth and Premature Loss oi Energy of Middle Age Speedily Cured t j DR. WILLIAMS' JSTH-XJV DISCOVSllY, Compound Fit. Fleer de Pasqae. f2 per rackape. 3 Packages lasting 3 Months for (5 by Mail or Express. Address DE. T. "WILLIAMS, lo. 189 Wisconsin SL, Jlilmnttf, Iiis. IVeakNervousr.lGfi Thom debility, xkavwate HWfr, prematura stray and fsilare to perform lire's duties properly are csamd by e icesses, errors ol yoath. etc, will find a perfect and lastine; rastorstioa lo robust kvealtk and !ramD auauik iu THEMARSTON BOLUS. Senner stoma-)! mf fricf nor inat.ni men ta. This trvolmsnt of rvsas I)bllltv and.' lhTslcl Deesvy isamlormlr sueeessfnl boeauw baW on porfoci diacnosis. BF ( uaa stlrecs sneiuoas ana aooiut aar us-haes. Fall information and Trash frus. .Addrm Consulting Phvsunsn of i MARSTON REMEOYCO.,46 VY.UthSL. NewYerb' FOR BALE. "TTX)K BALE Matthews' Patent Renewable Mem J orandum Book. Bend lor sample copr and price list. Samples sent postpaid to any address ontreoelpt ol M cents for Na 1, or 40 cent for No, 1 Address SENTINEL, COMPANY, ludlsuuvpoUa,

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