Indiana State Sentinel, Volume 31, Number 27, Indianapolis, Marion County, 8 August 1883 — Page 3

THE INDIANA STa öETv-TlNIX. WEDNESDAY, AUGtlST 8, 18S-S

It tl not doubted that men have a bone in that place where each ons has established his hearth and the mmol bis puaaesslona and Itrtaud; whence be will uot depart, if notla ca la him away ; whence li he ha oe parted be emi u be a wanderer, and II he returns ho eeaaet wander. Ielii-Iuon rem Cirll Law. Then stay at home, my heart, and rest. The) bird is salcM in uio LCt; O'er all that Hatter their wines and fly A hawk la hovering la the sky." Longfellow. OUU Tl'( KOLKS. The Beauuiut 1'ay. "We did net mean to do wroLg,' sbo said, With a ram in her eyes of terns unhed. Like the haze of the midsummer weather. 'Wo thouaht you would all be as hppy as e: But something 'most always goes wrons yon see, Whea we have our play line toge her. Before the dw a the grass w dry. WewtieouttLisiflor.il. s Keutcuaudl, Aud mily, 1 ih'uk tht u vt-r For ail that you aud üciai m say Will tht le be suHiii rntü a happy day la all the Oaysof forever! "The sunhiae was yellow as gold, and tho kies Were as slecpv and bine as the babv's eyes; And a suit little wi-it wm blowiag And rocking t lie d..l.v buds lo aa-l im: Wt played that the meadows were white with snow. Where the ciowdirg blossoms were growing. "The birds and the bees fletr about in ihe a in. And thtre ws not a thing that was sorry nut That dear incmlng down In the m ado. But we could nut bear tu think tisabeu aad 1 That our beautiful tUy would be done, by aud by. And oursunshiny world da;k wita shaiow. "So into tho hall we quietly stepped. It whs cool and htlll, aud a muiibvitin crept Ibronvh the de-or, and te uuds were aingi::. AVe s'ole as wftly a we could pro To the ekek at the loot of ihe stAir?, you SHOW, With its Lis, bright pcndalnai gwlnIn,;; 'We knew that the sun dropped down oat of heaven, And brought the night, when the cloc' struck n-ven For so 1 bad beard Mamma avlns;: And we turned back, the bauds till tuey pointca to ten. And our beautiful day began over a?aln, Aud tht a rau awny to our p.t-.yiug'. 'I'm afraid I can't tell yen the rest," she said, With a t rrowlnl droop of the fir little bead, And tho misty bnrvu eye overil 1m. "We hfid only beta out tuen a lew minutes mere, When, j:ist as :t always had happened before, We lor.nd that our dear ua was go ug, "The sbndows crew locg, and the blue skies wore pray. And the bet s Had the butier.'lies all flew awy. And the dw n the sm.M-es wa faliiti. . 'Hie FDud d tot fhme tu ihe ay any mure, Andthetirdsdid nothiLg, and aay by the doer We heard Mamma's voice to us calling. ButthcnUhtwill be done, I suppose, by and by; And we have been thinkieir - Reuben and I That peihavs," and thesmiied through Lersoriuw "Perhaps it rr.cy be, after all, batter so, Tor if to-day lasted forever, you kaoT. There would Hercrhcaii to-morrow !' MaE'IAKKT Johnson, iu St. Nicholas. I" ein s a Boy. Ore cf tho best things in the world to be u a boy; it requires uo experience, though it aecd scrce practico to la a gooi one. The 4uadvantge of the position is that he does act l&it long er.o'ugh. li is soon over. Just aa you pet used to bains a boj, y u have to do trcth;ng else, witn a g Jvd deal more werk to uo asi net half ? o mLch fan. And jot every boy is anxious to be a min, and is Tery unc&sy with tho re;trietions that are put upon hira as a b y. Thöra sre so xcacy bright pots ia the lifo of a farm-boy that I sometimes think I thould like to live the life over &&in. 1 should altrnst ba willirg to bo a jjirl if it were not f jr the chore. There is a great comfort to a boy in the amount of work he can get rid of doin;. It ia Bcmetirr.ee astonishing how b1o? he can go on an errand. Terhaps he couldn't explaio bJmeelf why, when he ia sent to the neighbor's alter yeast, ho Etops to atone the Itogi. lie is not exactly cruel, but he w&nta to see if he can hit 'cm. But fay what ycu will about the ganeral uiefulneta of toys, a farm witnout a lv would very soon ccuio to rief. lie is always in demand. In tho lirit place, he is to do all the errands, go to the store,the postoffice, ard to carry all ecrta of messsges. lie would like to have as many lega as a wheel has fpeke?, Red rotate about in the earn? way. This he sometimes tries t do, and people who have seen him "turning cart-who3'.9'' aktg the Eide of the ro&d have supposed he was amtiticg hiccsolf and idling his time. Le W83 only tryiD; to invent a new mole of kccrr.otioE, ?o that he could economize bis legs, and do his errands wita greater dispatch. Leap-frcg is one tf bis mfttnodi cf gettirg over the ground quick iy. Ho h-w a natural genius for combining pleasure wita business.

Mr. Ady-TImim the kpani;trd. lit. tl. i i Wide Awake.J I have a lr:end who.-o reply senerniy L, when jcu k hira to do a tiing: ' Oa, ye, that can be di ce any time." Be is r.ot in tho lenat unwilling to do thirge. lie U net obiiinsie ab"Ut ad nittis that the thiegs ou!ht to bo done, bat his first instinctive ircpuie in record t almst everything in life ia to put it ff a 1 ttie. lfjou remonstrate with him, he hi3 a meet exssperatirg proverb on bis tongue erd, and be ia t ver tired ofqinlsg it: There is l'jk in 1ö sure." Do what you will, jou cai't mke him se that tLia proverb i.s aimei at ppe who hurry utixviy; not in the let-t at po pla who are simply prompt. As if heiiljng. haste aDd quit:, energetic prucsptitud-i are in the let si like each other." We call ilr Any Time the Spm'ard, be. cause it is v;til known that the Saiiari's inle 15, Never do to-day that wnijh cn b--ptt eff till tc-mcrrow." Evtn into the f rm cfa historical pioverf), the record ofthie natter. 1 trait of the Spanisn per p!e rA ory. tallizcd many years ago. Even tha Spanish people themselves say B&rcaatically, ""Siccor of Spain: late or Ecver." But says Jlr. Any-Timo, "Wbat thi ne of teicg ia such a hurry? Oh,do qaiet can't ytu! I;t's take a little comfort;" aad then he settles back in his chair and look? at you with such a twinkle in his eye, that y i t&lf forgivo kitn for hi) la.zine-.fl. That is one thing to bo sa;d for lazy people. They are almcs-t always good-natured. Then w 3 preach a little sermon to him. axd the ifrmon kaa four heals; foar gud reasons why we ought to do things proaiptFintly, we say to hira, ''IIow doet t'ao i know, O lazy Spaniard, that thou caaet d this thing at any other time than the preent? llacy tbirp may prevent 5ic!raei3, thiaq own or tby Iriendi' buiiseas, foretfalnen, weather, climate; there is no counting up all the th'Eg which happen, and hich hiodsr cur dciLg the tbincs wo have pUnnoi t, do, but have put otf doiDg." tSeccbdlv, 'Therf? is another truth, O Uz l!r Any-Time, each day, cca hou eacb minute, has i'8 ow n th:ag to bo d ae i s own duty. If one eingli tt:ng u p it off, that tbir, will have U, b.i crowded 12t j tb day, cr the hcur, or the minute whnh twkrrtd to sorntthir.;; e:f?, and tbea neither tlirs will le well done. Thirdly, "If it can lo dmeniw; tbv. alone is rfacn enough for doing it n js; thttaioa ia crtcph to prove that now i) the nVa' tiir. th proper t;me for it. E'erythin las its own natural time to be done, jist a

Ü- w ers bave their natural timo to Vosaon. and fruits have their natc .v l time to ripean all. Juit lüppore for ft minute, that inch things should get into the way of saying, ''Any time!' That the grains thould say, 0, we can get ripo any dy," and should go 00, puttirg It off and putting it oil all through July and Aogust, and September, and Oitoter; fr wLin people once beia to pit off, there is eo kiowicg what will s'op them uttil, all cf a sudden, some day a slarp frost should come and kill very grass blale throughout tie country. What would e co for bay, then. I wonder! Why, half t peer horses and cows would starve, au I all Uceuse the tzy gras.LS raid they cjuld get ripe ''any time." Suppose strawberrios or apples should take it int their heads to say the same thing. Wouldn't we get out of patience going, day alter cay, looking fcr some ripe enough to st? And wouldn't tiie summer bo gone before thr y Knew it? and all the time bo wasted llat tha vine3 and the tree's hd spent putting cut 'heir leaves and blossoms, which had net cr me to fruit? And wouldn't the wh la wcrld und everybody's plan cf living be thrown into coLfusion if such things were to happen? Luckily ro such thirg is possible ia thi3 orderly earth, which GoJ has made with a tixe d time for everything; even for the ötojk mirg of tho tinest little flower, and for the ripcn:i:g of the smallc3t berry that was etr seen, .bedy ever beard the words 6dj time" fr( m anything in this world excejt human beings. Fourthly, we Eay to our dear Spaniard, "Tiirgs which are put ofl' aru very likely n-ver to to dene at all. The chances are ttatthey will bo at laat forgotten, overIcokcd, crowded cut. 'Any time" is no time; ju?t &3 ''anybody's woik, and never gets attended to, or if it is der oat all, i?n't half done. And after we have preached through our little sermon with ita four heads, then wo sum it all up, ted add that the beet of all reafons for never saying & thing can be dene "anytime" ia"tba, besides biing a shiftless and lazy phrase, it is a di-'graceful ore. It ia tho badge of a thief ; the name end badge of the worst thief that there is in the world; a thiaf that never U older than the "WanrJerirg Jew, and has bea robbing tvrjb dy ever sires the world begin; & theii that scorns to steal money or g k1s which money could buy ; a thief that steals or iy one thing, but that the moct precious tl irg teat w&a ever male, It is the cuttern to have photographs taken cf all tho notorious tbiofa thut are caught; these phott graphs are kept m bojks at the headquarters ot' the police, in the great cities, and where any suspicions chtr cteris arrested tfce police officers look in tl is bock to see If hij faee is among tu jhctcgrapha thtre. .Many a thief ns ben caught in this way when he suppojed that he wf.s eate. Now meet of you have had a sort of rhctcgraph of this d.mgerou3 and dretdful thief I have been de-:cribirg. Mai you will nevr guess till I tell you where it ia. It is iD your writing book, under the letter f. You had to write out tho dcriptioa of him eo many tims that you all know it by heart. Procrastination is the thief of time.'' W h n you wrote that sentatco over and over, ycu did not think very much about it, d d jou? When wo are young it always s ems to us as if there were so much time in tr e world, it couldn't be a very grev. mata-r if a thief did steal some of it. Hut I wis 1 I ctuld find any words Etrong enouga to mVe ycu believe that long before you are old vou will feel quite differently. You wi 1 see that tbre isn't goirg to be half time enough to dowhatjou want to do; cot half time eccugh to lraru what ycu ws.nt to IcArn; to see what you want to Eee. No, not if you live to be a hundred, net half time enough; most cf all, cot half timo cnouga to love all the dear people you love. Long before you are :ld, ycu will foel this; and then, if voa are wise, you will como to have so great a hatred cf this master thief, that you wi'l nevtr use or if you can help it, let anybody jcu know, use that favorite by-word of hia,

tfiy Urne. TO 51 THL'HII. IntcreMlEK KemiulhC-eDces of the Dwarf Hi Love for Horte, tltc. A Hartford paper has interviewed a gentletiian who was Tom Thumb's manager lor sev r.il years. lie &aid: "Tom Thumb was inc.- able of a joke or any bright saying; he we-3 t-y no means precocious. Ills intellect was deficient. lie was perfect in hia dwarf manliness, but his mind a9 well as his body was dwarfed, and one had to lead him about as a child is led. lie had no memory. Whn I was with him in Englanc. wo had the en. trance into polite and noble Boeiety. His memory was very deficient. 1'or instance, 1 would say to hirn: Do you remember, (I n eral, when we wore at Chataworth, at the Duke of Devonshire's, yesteiday?' and he wculd reply that ho didn't remember anything about it. lie might sometimes tire a gereral knowledge that ho had been sd nowhere in that part of the country, but that wa3 all." "Did he hava no powers as a coaverfia'.i.jnalLt?' "No; although he met a great numb r of pecplo, be never cculd say arjytuirjg to theat lie would simply answer their questions and tl en step. Ucee in a while ho woull&ee something and sptiak of it to moor fornother ot his cloea frier; Js, but never a laneer." M as bo a greit reader?" "Tim Thumb never read book, newsp ipor o- au:ht e'se. Dar Leg all the time I wtbLim I never saw him reading. IIntvtr took the leaat interest ia the newj or tie rmantic aa it is found in novels." "What did ha do with hirnielf during tho litt e eisure he had?" VAU, he never had very much leisure, but hewed to occupy it ia p'ayirtg billiirds or in emokicg. Ho darly loved a ho a- and ever diamonds he wnt wild. Tne lanjy may have partaken of a boyish freak; although men of rare intellect can't help but admire the exquisite color cf an old-miae gem. lie at one time owned a great maiy diamonds and horses. It haa been assert 2 1 in the new-papers and out of them that t le General dratk to excess. Now, I will eay tl is in bin behalf, so long as I was with him I never saw him under the influence of 1 quor. He smoked several strong cigars a day, tut ho tovcr was an iitempera'.c dnaker.'' 'llow about the mrriod life was that happy?'' 'It was truly a happy life. The dwarf ecupie baa mere pleasant con lacal relations thin the average of grown-up people. She knew how to handle him ; she had tact aad everything went smoothly, and yet I d- not quite understand why she is now in Cincinnati." "Waa he rich at th3 tixe of hia deith?" "I suppose ho must have been, a'thojgä I kfcvo no means of k&owiDg no,'' sail the ex-manager of the dwarf. "IIa male a great deal cf money and ahso spent a great dsil. tut ho ouzbt to have raved t gooily euu II certainly made LUrnum rich. 1 have alays supposed the greüt showman cot th un'i snare ct tho nroHf. los (jMaeral hr he with him because La suspected he .u'J roiko mo'8 moaey by mtnwau tis own tours. Tho dwarf a'eo mils h:3 parer.t4 rich. They wer rxnr an1 tLiu.CEe until Carnam da overel tar pro!

lgy of a son, and with all hia wonderfal tact, displayed him to an admiring world. They

tad a certain percentage of the earninzs un 1 1 the source of the inc me was of age. aa1 at one time ere vorth $ löO.OOO. Ual icky i'. vestment and a circus dwindled the pile until there was little left. The Gen -ral him self began to gather in tb9 coin after h had attained his majority. In England, altb igh it may seem fabulous, he often received 100 a week " Air. Richard 11 Rose has in his pcse&si n an interesting relic of tho late On. Ton Thumb, in the stapo cfa pair of boot3, worn by the General wben 21 years old. The bocts are not over 4 inches in length, and Mr Kose has never ound a child able to walk who can put them on. fail readers are mrtte-1 to furnish ortxiaai enhiia&s, charades, nddies, rebuts aal otaei kLony proniems," addressing all comnaaiton tont- relative to tMs aepartmeiit to S. EL Cavicuir , Lewüton, Malne.1 ."0. "2. Ibyslo!og;Ical Knlsfttia. The whole of 52 letters t3 aquotatioa from h&ktspeire, recognizing tho importanco to li'e ot a certain class of organs. The tt, SG, 48, 9, 1'7 is a name given to a ytrt of the teeth. The 31. 1, o, 1 1, zb is an important pr of tho eye. Tho 47, 42, 7. 31, 47, 10 is a bono of th arm. The 1, 29, 11, 51, 17. 43 is an artery of the leg. Ihe .), 4L, 27, 1-3, 17 13 tho trunk of the arUnan system. The 51 22, 18, 12, 31. 2 J, 5, 44, 25, 19 is a general tame for the tube leading from tho stcmrcb. The 8, 13. 4 3, 50 is the rortion of the body which pessfctEos tho chiet organs of sensat.en. The 2j, SI, :Jij, 10 may be seen upen tho see. The 27, 43. 40, 29, 17, 48 is a nervo of tho arm. The Z') 21, 52, 38, 10 aro important aids to the digef tive st stem. Tho 4L, 40, U7, 3, 20 is a cavity for the in troduction of food. The CI 21. IG, C7.4S, 50, 35, 27, 23, 13, 9, 49, 41 if tie bor e of the shoulder. The 32, 43, 27, S'J and the 45, C , CO are abnormal growths upon tho eurlaco of tho tody. The 40, 33, 9, 31, 3G 13 tho motor of tho circulatory system. Uscle Ci.av de ÄO. 563. Charade. MY FIRST. Have you seen a l luc-eyed lassie With a step as libt as air. Merry, smilin?, gy, beguiling? When you 6ee her, then beware! For her bright and shimmering tresses Weave for hearts a golden net! And a bit of sweet deception Are her lips with dimples set! They will smile o'er brave hearts broken, Help to b eak them if they can. And her eyes O, dewy entlaus, Sparkling o'er a downy Ian. MY SECOND. EtroER and manly hands have CArried it. On the sylvan shaded tree; Firge! trembled as tney tracod it On the pane for her to see. Closer veiled from view its pattoro, Uurned upon younit h-arts like ilarnc; Allee! Allee I How they treasure The iidtial of thy name. MY Till BD. Do not linger on the snnshine Of her miile 'tis tall i f danger. List not to her mcltiiiK voice 'Tis a syreu's -biste thtc, stranjer, Do tot stay to eaz; n pon her; llatsteu! Turn away and shnn her! MY WHOLE. She will smile and she will dally, riediD, c ap her jeweled nuuds. She will tear and seold and rallydive imperative commands! Th n, like suu warmed snow, nil melüag tfhe will make your heart beet fast; St e will sive it beavcaiy rapturo. Ctuäh and break its cords at last! R. No. 50 4. Blanks. To bo filled with words pronouncod alike but differently- spelled 1. v ill you have a 7 1 have a of them here. 2. V pen tho rock that overhung the val ey,I saw a standing . 3. Take care! There is a ! xoumay Hing. 4. Keep this for me. I am going to wa'k down to tho . 5. She ma in, and Ehowod me a little figure cast m . R. 56.V-Kiddle. Nft Cupid's self is more in love than I. Though in no heait 1 ever tied a phice; Aud yet, without me, love could never be, And lovers love m semblance to trace, R. So. 5ß Conundrum. 1. Where is it thst knavos will not steal diamonds? 2. Wbat is it that is at onco a Eervilo thing and a tyrant's scepter; a weapon used in civil (T) war ana a part of the maigaia ot the domestic; that is u?ed for drilling brigade end for expelling a man from his house.? R. No. 567. Verbal Mathematics. 1. Subtract one hundred from a veVe'e and get an accomplishment as a remainder. 2. Subtract fifty from learned things and get valuable mineral matter tus a romainler. UXCLE Cf-AL'DE. Our August I'rize. For tho best lot of answers furnished by ny reader to the "Knotty Problems" published during August wo, shall present a opy of Dickens' "Child's History of Eigand," elegantly bound and finely illustrate!. Ech week's solutions should be iuvded witlin six days after the puziles aro printed n tho Sentinel. , Answers. "50. "0 thou invisible spirit of wine, if thou bast no name to be known by let us call thee devil." 551. Cat, camel, ape, monkev, rat. 552 1 Relate, clato. 2. Page, age. 3. Bark ark. 4 Snap, nap. 553. Sea shell. 554 PLAY Ii ü Ii E A R E A YEA li 55. Diana Vernon. How He Mashed thnt Bfaxber. A certa'n youth having requested aa in troduction to a pretty chorus girl, tho matter was quietly referred to her husband, who was in the company. He arranged to have the ma"her brought behind the scenes and presented while he stood by, and the rest of the company lurked about among tho piles of scenery to watch the fun. Tho introduction took place, and an invitation to suppor was c Herod. As her husband's eyo was upon her, the lady could only remark that she thought "this gentleman,hor husband, might ol ject." Everybody expected to see the masher faint with confusion, but ho didn't seem at all disturbed. He merely said: "Ahl well, it wculd bo too bad to annoy hia; le; it go unlrt sumo timo when you're iatiwa without him." Then, turning to the hmband, bossii, in a lo butdiitinct tone: Poor fellow, I pity you. It must be so ui pleasant to fe"l that your wife regirds yu as an encumbr&nco, which prevents her hvlrg a good time." lie walked otT, leaving them aghast at his impudence.

WHO OWNBTII T- K K04R TKKK 6IJOULD O " THK HOSE.

BT 1. HBJS. I can not hut think taen is something amiss. I envy bo man bis possessions, God knows. But u scemeth to me there is justice in thL: "Who ownetb the ro-e tree slvould gather the rose. I planted a rose tree, I watched it with care; I trained it np tenderly, taneht it to c imb. God fuse it the tuasUlLe aud give it the air, Aad 1 said, he will glTC me Its rcses in time. My cottage was bnmble, my garden was Finall. ut grand enough, Urgi er.augri, both, tor my love. The houte ( my Eeii;hbor was stately and tall, And flung me its shadow in scorn frora abive. I nurtured my rose till at length it o'er grew .li e joor trbken wall ol my garden and clunR To the house of my neighbor; then upward it drew. Far above and o'er looking the spot where it sprung. I I ifhed, for I counted It whoKy mine own, Eut I 'id: It is ttrong and ambitious to grow; l et it cling to my neighbor's proud raansion of stone, I will still have the roses that b'.otsoa below Alas for my hope! It grew up and grcwoa; it reached the bigti window, it eJangtothe sill; Itbloorced ronud the titomeut as red as the dawn, But be low it is barren and Uussomlcss still. Sly neighbor has roses, a surfeit of sweet; They garland his board when the b.ciq-iet is spread. I have bnt the dead ones that fall at ray feet, Flung down in dixieiu wbca their fragrance has fled. I sigh as I think of the vearkome years I waited and watohe J for tho fruits of my love, Eut still, as I wtei -.e root with my tcaru. My neighbor is plucking the roses above. I envy him not what has climbed to his hand : God's rain anü God's sunshine have caused it to grow. But still It seem hard he hu only to stand And pluck off the fruit a of my labor below. So it seemeth to me there is something amiss. And will it continue thus ever? God knows! But right is still right, and there's justice in this: "Who owseth the rose tree should gather the rose." Green field, Ind., July Cd, VTITANH PLKASANTKY. The following placard hangs up in a Tennessee store window: Peppermint lie for Med ake Peilie Tola " No matter how tad a temper ono may ha e be should never lose iL Rochester PostExpress. Directions to conductors of street car3: Tho woman with a rubber waterproof sh ould invariably bo shaken before taken. Ditto the men with tho wet rubb!roverPX)at3. I'arasvds, hats, drecso?, entire suits of vel vet, silk, satin or cloth, in Paris, aro red this summer, even the trimmings are red; in fact everything is red in Paris except the Bible. Did ycu ever think what you would do if yon had Vanderbilt's income? Philadelphia News. Well, no; but we bave often wondered what Vanderbilt wculd do if had our income. There is a tradition among tho Indian that you can always identify tho trail of Gerer&l Sheridan's explorink parties by th mpty whisky bottles scattered along the line of march. It is said that the natural beauties of the Yellowstono Park are being defacad and de stroyed by viators. This comes of driving away the Indians, who wero in tho habit ot scalping tourists. They thought they heard burglars in tho hocEO last week, and ia going down stairs to in vsstigato Bibbs said to hia wife: "You go Cist; it's a mean icaa that would ehoot a woman." Betten Budget. They wero boaiing of their beautiful figures. Gn6 said her figuro wasn't like a flguro 1 anhow, and the other retorted that her was net like a figure 8, figuro ciglitivoly speaking. Turner's Falls Reporter. "Don't wish cream?" cried the good old lady who had prospered in everything but education. "Why, that is the potmtttcal part of the tea; it takes away the canine and makes it taste quite epicutel" ilrs. Partington. They wero boasting about ancostry. "My forefathers," said John, ''come over from Engle-nd on the Mayflower." "And my ancettrv," said Pat, "kim over from Qianestown on tho Sunflower. It's 3f.h6tic I am, begorral" Now the epothecary Doth seem it necctary To closely scan the men wno sod drink, drink, drink; So that he may not srir up 'lheir wrsth by givisgsyrap Entirely inconfittent wit.i a wiaK, wi ik. wink. Somerville Journal. "May I have tbo Loner to conduct your daughter to the supper table? " asked a society gentleman cl a lady from the country. MtiV vcu take her to supper?" was tho repente; "why, ot course, and you can take mo tec. That's w.Vat wo came here for." Down in Tama County last week a cat was bcrn with two heads. It is lively and healthy, and can yowl with one mouth and waul w iih the other. If this breed of cats becomes ecu nu, n it will jut set the millennium back a' out four thousand years. B arlington Hawkeye. I want to be an ire man And with the ice man stand On the back stoop f the wagou, An axe in my right hand, And in (he left the steelyard!. All covered np so nice. To lie and cheat like tnu der. And give short weight in ice. Red Dog, Arizona, is getting civiiizel. A coroner was appointed Hat month, and next morning ho empaneled a jury to view inmost recent corpse. Tho following Wis th' verdict: "We, thejiry, dooly swore, find that tho doöcaöed kein ter hisdath by thejuj mint off Godd, fcr hevin kawled Bill Jaun a lier." Jay Gould has iust bought aa acre in a cemetery. Hr. Gould evidently means to give hia skeleton a good start. "What is that lying on your desk?" asked Gus de Smith of a young society business xran, at whose oCce he hipponed to bs. "These aro mv receipted bills that I have just paid." "Receipted bills! You don't ey to!" exe'aimed Guc, with animation; "lot reo leck at them, please. I have not seen anything of tho kind in tho Ust fl73 years." A Chicago reporter undertook to X?2h a lot of noweboys at Sunday-school, and tloußht he would ''let himself down to their level" by using their street lingo. "The leiten," seid ho, "is about Jofhua old J jsh, as you'd call him. Joshua was tho boss of a crowd ot people. Did you ever hoar o' Johua?" Ycu bet your life wo did,' 3 tiled tbo class in chorus 'Ob. you have, eh? Tlat's the proper caper. Well, Joh i ordered twelve strorg men to tako the Ark cf tho Covenant cf the Lord and go down to

th Jordon. And just aa soon as they got in t t to water ' - But yr forgo the bee. pa't,B jflbdoneoftha clas. "Po-hap I did; what was it?' Why. wbee he ep?ts in the su gar-bo wL "Sa ar bowl? Who did ihat?M "J.hua Whitcomb," yelled the your gater proudly Gtorge wha were you doing down towr last tight till af'pr 12 o'clock?" "Wbat was 1 doing, Mrs. Ren fro? Wby, my der i was in toe office balancing up th bookI woiked there till I could hardly see. Mv hed ia just full of flures y-t" "You b"hd full of figure I Figures! O you r. n-.iaVrr.. Mr. Renfro. Figuros don't li you know.'1' There was a man in onr town, And he wa wondrous wi e: 1'or when 1 e marked fcla pi ices down, lie then did advertise. And when he saw his trade increase, to Ith ail hi miftbt aad cm.i marked tili lower every price. And aOTcrused again. A Warning". "Tis WTonR to bat yonr grocer Onto! bis hone-tuues; 'Tis worre to U at i he c bbler On i of hi boot and shoes. Thei e is a chance of pardon For him wno steals your coal, Bu he wno bea's the p inter Will surely lose hU mjuI. Westward Gotb Che Dade. I Boomerang. A gentine dude haa struck Laramie. He has a hen ecpathic head and alljo&tuic 'b----lliBrsnts aro so ticht that ho neve: Ukd

them ctT, and he had a p'a'e gU'S win! n cto eyo. The other ia closed for repiir Ik cc t on the wildest kind of a dabauca la t ight with half an cunco cf psppor sauo ri '-rch of cigarettes. Ho haih froai New York, run" fNew York World. The time was midnight and the situation near the World office. Tho man was fearfully and wonderfully full, lie walked up to tho fire alarm signal box and placed a nickel in it. Then ho sat down on tho curb. 'Why dent the car start?" Do received no answer. Vhy don't this car start?'' Still no answer. "Gimmo back my fair, then!" It was not returned. Then he jump d up, grabbed tho tslegraph pole around the waist, and attempted to trip it up. There was a spirited tugging for several seconds, and then he made a terrific kick at tho "feet" of hia adver ary, and tho reeult was that he kicked himself over on his own head. As he executivized himself he moved off, saving: "Yer a smarter conductor than I thought yer wuz, cut x oeiieve now mat I'd a thro wed yer if yer coat hadn't a como ofl." KKLIGIOUS INTELLIGENCE AND INJIDKNT. The average salary of Methodist ministers in New England ia 15G0. Tho Cret eurpliced mak choir in Vermont, it is said, haa just been organized in St. Paul's Church, Burlington. "No, sir," said tho clergyman, "I don't pray for rain unless my special dispatch from tho Weather Bureau say a we'er liable to get it." A Presbyterian university is to be located tt Pierre, Dakota. The college will begin v.ith buildings valued at $30,000 and will have an ample endowment fund. Father Hyacinth and his wile will sail for this conn try on tho 25 th of August. II" will make addresses to the larger cities, anl remain here probabiy until lato in tho autumn. There was once a clergyman in New Hampshire noted for his lctg6ermons ard indolent habits, "llow ia it,'- said a man to his neighbor, "that Parson , the laziest man living, writes theso interminable sermons?" "Why," said the other, "ho probably gets to writing and is too lazy to stop." A Western clergyman said in a 6ermon that the tone of the daily press was not do vout. lie did not complain that tho news contained too much about crimo. Oa the contrary, he thought it the duty of public journals to record events without dissr.minaticn; but he Lad an idea that a system miht be created by which to every acjoui t of a miidecd fhculd bo appended a brief moral application of the lesion which it taug at. Thus, if a murder waa tho result of rum, he wculd have a few remarks oa temp-rance follow tfco news, instead of being put in. o tbe editorial column, where the unthoughtful reader might miss it. York Street Baptist Church, Louisville, Ky.. has been rent to piecas by qurrels. The members are colored people! and have for some years had several different varieties of disputes on haxd. Two councils have in turn been called -with a view to pat:!-.ing up pe-sce. Tho firet of theso arranged terms ot settlement which at first seomed praciicabla, tut which proved otherwise, Tho secrad council advised that tfco belligerent parties should separate. This they did, but in eo doing they split tuir Church into fragmentary 'bite. Tho building which cost $14,003, was s&crif cod to meet a debt of $5,20il. Tfie members cf the ruined Church will senk felkwship among the otter eight colored Biptist Churches of Looisvillo, whera it is to ba hoped that they will keep tho poace. Father Dyer, a Methodist minister, now living on tbe D.vkie,was the pioneer preacher int'olerado. Ho wiil probably offer the peniDg prayer cf the approaching qiarter centennial. It is related of Father Dyer that when he first landed in what is now Djaver be saw before him a largo tent, and to that supposing a camp meeting to be ia progross, he wended hia way. To his astonishment he ound not a camp meeting, but a very extensive scries cf games, such aa faro, poker, ken o, and tho like, going forward, lie remained about the tent for forty-eight hours, icoking very intently upon the progros3 of tbe games. At tho end of that pariod he stepped upon a tablo and said, in a voice loud enough to to heard all about him: Boys, I have locked at your gamo now for the past eight and forty hours. Now I ask you to give soma attention to mine. Let us pray." They bad not before known that the olemn-looking man was a minister, but at tie invitation hats were taken off, chips were dropped, and all bowed their heads in pravor wdh Father Dyer leading. And this was the first public prayer ut ered in tho Pikes Peak country. Alter tho prayer had been concluded the games were resumed. - I- Tanner, druggist. Tanner, Marshall County, saye: ' llrown'f Iron Hitters sells well and gives good satisfaction." A vecetable product, used only in Ayer's Ague Cure, has proved Itself a never failing lemcdy for all tia'.arlal disease. Warranted. Tho Wiotc Medicine wii4 Kight. 'l'vo given that boy tho wrong modicine,'" exclaimed a druggist, seizing his hat and rushing from tho storo. The boy had reached homo by tho timo tha druggUt over, tock him. 'Say," exclaimed tho dru-rgi;t, as an old negro approach od, Tvegivei your boy tho wrore medicine." What did yer gin Lim?" I gave him morphine. You sent for quinine." Dnt's all right. D3 ulder day I sent for morphine, aa' yer sett me quinine, an' dis

t mewhen I wanted morphine, ter k5p down any mistakes, 1 sent tor ou;nine, know in dat yer wouldn't send what do boy ait d for. Go on back homo an' sell some rat i izen. To Say Nothing of the Discomfort, chronic conttipatien is an ailment very difficult to overconre by ordinary means, and absolutely Inimical to health in the free discharge cf the vr.ou physical fnncüon. Dys. epsia, lier complalit, cici headaches, iLilammationof ,te bowels, and a variety of other compUlats spring from or are aggravated by It. Among apcrleMsof a rati n claff, aa alstiDgutfhed from the vUlent purtiv far less esteemed than formerly ty tbe profession tnd tne public, Hostetter's Stomcch Bi tiers Staads efccrvdly high. It is sufUciently acdve, without bcitft sudden and painful in opertion. aad u.i oulyallords radical relief from invgnUnty of trip boweif. but intlkoratc6 them and their "kin i e l Tft us. the liver at d btomach. Asa uai. threfoie. no lew than an an aperient, it is in r iele tl e tirst rark. Fever and aue, rheuTntlc on p'ainw, a want of vitality, and kld-iy and b aide Btiint-ii-F, aie also wiihin the ecope of Us reoi-dia iniluctcc, CL'KCOU?, L'sKFCLaod SCIEN flFIC.

Lime water, with a small quantity of aeevic acid, is said to make a good lakeraeer. Prcfeseor C. F. Himes, of Carlisle, Pi., has eiperimentally demonstrate.! that drops d.minish in eize as a bottle ia emptied. The smell of fresh paint in a room may b efitciually gotten rid oi' by placing theriia a pail cf water in which a few onions hve been sliced. A wriior in the Sci?ntiSc California eu;gesls a safe method cf drinking out of cups hX fonttaina erected for public use. It is to I 'it the lower lip inside of tho cup and tip i,o wbter, instead of placing tho odo of tha ctp be tween tho lips.. To remove fixod glass stoppers, tap anl tkeii unscrew with th:3 sort of a wrench, made of a piece of strong wood: Have the weed 3 5 inches long and ono icch in breadth and depth, with a piece morti-:ot out laTj-o enough to admit the fiat part of the glass stopper. It i3 seriously proposed that several of the European powers should unite ia tho suppression of ilobammedan pilgrimages to ilcca by the occupation of the Holy City, which ia bo charged with pestilence aloooet always, and which sends so frequently tne scourge of cholera over Egypt and tho Et. The remedy suggested ia a "daring one. It might cause a teriblo war. But something has to be done very soon. Prof. ; Huxley maintains that in fishing districts an acre of sea was more profuse) in iocd production than an acre of land. Salmon rivers required protection. Butia the case of tho great sea tho circumstances were entirely different. He believed that the c d, htrring, pilchard, mackerel, and similar fisheries were inexhaustible, and were entirely beyond tho control of man either to diminish the number of fish or to increase them by cultivation. M, Faye, in a paper read before tho Academy of Sciences, Paris, on July 2, regard irg the tornadoes which swept over Kansas cn May 30, 1S79, maintains that tuess meteorological phenomena, like other storms and hurricanes, aro duo to whirlwinds descending with vertical axes, and originating not in the lower atmospheric strata, but in the upper current, whc?e direction may be quite different from the light winds which previously prevailed near tbe surface of tho earth and quite independent of them. This is a description in Lo Genio Civil, of July 1, of a floating grain elevator. The structure was mado at Bordeaux and placed in the harbor to unload tho vessels arriving with cargoes of gTain. It contains apparatus for weighing, cleaning, and sacking the grain. From tho ship's ho id it caa unload, weigh, clean, weigh grain, put into sacks, and reload into trucks 150 tons per hour. Tho elevator is mounted on a brg, which is prcpelled by a screw worked by a compound sarfaco conden-ing steam-engine that furnishes the motivo powtrforall of tteso operations. Your health depends on tha purity of your blcod. People who realize this are taking Hocd's S&rsaparilla with the best results. Tbe Mixt Deautiful Ihinj ia the Bible. "Say, do you know what I think is the most beautiful thing in the Bible?" asked Peck's tad boy of tho grocery man, "No, 1 don't," replied the latter. "Well," said tho bad boy, "I think tho Sneet thing is that etcry about the prodigal eon, whero tho boy went out West to paint the towns red- H9 Epent his money in riotous living, and saw cttry thing that was going on, and got fall of bnz:ne, and struck all tho gangs of toughs.jboth malo and female, and his stomach wentjback on him, and he bad malam, and finally ho got to bo a cowboy, herding begs, ard had to eat husks that tho hos didn't want, and got pretty low dowa. Then be thought it was a pr3tty gol s chemo to bo getting around hom, wher they had three meals a day, aad spring mattressc?, and he started home, basting his way on the trains, and he didn't know whether the old man would reeoivo him with open arms or pointed boots, but tno old mai csmodown to the depot tomoethim, an! rgbt there, befero the passngrs aid tho conductor and the brakeraen, he w&sn t tfelerntd of his bey, though he was rig;ed, atd looked astkocghho had bee a on the war-pith, and the oM man fell en his nck ard wept, t si took him hoaie in a hac', ard tad ve.! pet-pie for dinner. That's wbht 1 all s'Ese. A good many men now ctays WiUld have put tho police ca the ti&u;p and had Hn M-.le--ed out of town." One Experience From Many. I bad been sick and miserable so long and had canned my husband so mnch trouble and expense no ono seemed to know what ailed ire that I was completely disheartened aad discourr ged. In this frame of mind I got a bettle of Hop Bitters and used them nnknown to my family. I soca began to improve and gained so fast that my husband and family thought it strange and unnatural, but when I told them what had helped me, they sail: "Hurrah for Hop Bitters! Long may they prosjer, for they have made mother well and us happy." The Mother. Allen's Bratn Food positively enres nervousness, nervous debility, and all weaknesi of generative organs; $i; six for $5. All drorgists. Send for circular to Alien s rnar meev. 315 First avenue. iew ork. Sold in Indianapolis by Hrowmnjr t bloan. lr tbe Cure et" EiS CPiLEPTIC riTO. fad' '.:' -'i-7 malf.f.'i' -.i -i eUlty f rp'ieri'.vi wrnut i..uik- t--: ;o ' . rirvf.-i'!'tliaoL" i ;hr 1 ii rr j ,t.v-' ...i.. K'--1 'ins irai-iy ' ioniums: -s r' ' " l'cr .') i us1 ,i!uil)nj i."!...'. I." r.;.i '.-T 1 . la. nh'ühl H vita "T li ' . :. . i! : n'.lh a lar,- bt'll o.i.l- r- I cn. t.-. t . foivr ho inny t-ii'i tlieir rvc's" '" O. ti lr. at. MKK-'M " ' P'j r 'vtMJ-JOr hi mi tfa Arnim m-A m m i L.'. Ii 1 a anw ci.f:rtnn Mritn ilntarrh nr HrO.1 I :'A 1 chit's who earnestly desire relief. I can h'rnish atrians of Permner? and Fosa V itive Cure. A Horn- Treat.weM. o i-t.Jd-ITft Vf TlVft TltlT vht wh to U-aru fc'tearn IU IlUMl tllil KiuJneerlB?er.dyournTie withio tn sumps to F. Kti'i'Y, Eatrinecr, B-!.l,'e-port, Ccnn.

il 2 Eäi

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li t.ii c.nrnA inr rr.irjiiniin 'i uv mail.

I jfclelreatissfre?. teni.ca? from Dae1 ti7 i ". tawrs, Miricrs. buiness-PeC t V Z.:- .1 A.l.liMis Rev. T. P. CS'.LOS, Troy. GJ.

Pi-1-n aynm-i

VARIOUS QUACKS.

tTbo-Frli Wth Hin Own Pt -hm-CL tivate the Tield cf Unman atare. There bar a ways ten 'tntcks lecal quackf, theolof-ieal qrark. sclOT.tiSc 'ir.ak and medical quacks S.Lje ,f tt m are Hand, oily fellows who argue and unile the wond irto be'ie inj ia their favorite bit -.f buraln:. Oüe are r mpoas and pretention vara.i:ef. Dt they task it ray. Men Fcem to love ?. f tv!ci:e-:, st;'r-:.itiii only that it üb all br EfK-.l dire. The dear pidi f ae nnaily ttteral to the electric and vam - i" fraui. ThNfi'lxr Is a geniua lnhisl4ie. lis -wi'l pu e r.ii erii- htlt around ycur waist, h!m tt'c i:et!- ., na le- your chin, cr Ct yon cut w5:h an t:itir.-? pnit of magnetl.: clothes, w'strHtMtd to strve p;npse of ordiaary ERimert!, and at ..-3 nma tl-ne to cure all dLcaies, from wliooplns eo-.h ti h ty oounmpUod. Most of thou hsve no more c.ecrle or magnetic power abr.ut thrm thr.n mile :a woolen blankets or in girdles t ffickclo'ih. On'y when api lied by an expert is e.e tiiciry cf tLe iCUhtcst use as a mediclalat t au.lev.n then its value 1 (;osly overstated. Wcat i tie strongest ossible presuEptlve e vide., cs iu fa vor of a -pirtica'fcr remedy ? Clearly that it 5heu!d have beea p chared by respontib'e perons cf ai k-:cr:le Jid skill ia the treatment f li?-es?-c. 8inartly oa ihii f su. !-.'f':o tai l' BENSON'S CAltlSi PoEOl' PI. iSTK,". indorsed by 5 l-J phjsicia s. pha-mjcMs. druIsts a d chemist-, it Deeds i:o further ap -'."y or l:i?r duction. It is the one and only true and ui'.'d external spilicatlon. Quacks of ail knids p? y .he Ca peine tbe coE3plimeDtf their di-I:kc, fcatiu is stld to bite holy water Look in th- ini.idlo o! the ;l3iter for the word "CAI CINE " iTioe :5 ern:. Ec-abary A JnbnM-i, Clcui ft?, Kew Y':rk. AVER'SAgue Onre iSWAIlRAKTEDtoi'sn a'l ca?es "f l.rial disease, such as r:V' r ;tnd Ague. IM r-rtiitu-nt or Cliill Fevr, i;inittei.l i'evrr. Pumb Ague, Bili0U3 1'ev- r, and Liver Complaint. In cafe of f;!ur. after due trvil. d.'alers are authorize.!, by o-.tr eiicul-tr ! euly 1st, 1882, to rvriii.d tl-..' runnry. L'p.J.C.AyerckCo.,Lcwe!lna:s. ild by al I'TUfji-ts. MAiMHOO D. KFi'QiV THYSELF,. A BOCK FOR EVERY MAN! YOTJNO, MIDDLE-AGED and OLDi The nntcld misc-ries that reiinit from Indiscretion in eai'y h:e may be alleviated and cured Those who d ob: idi ; ks nion should iurchas I r.d ead the new ciedi.-al nabiisl.ed by the featwoy "tied ?. I inxdtui, Hostoa. en'lticd the 8el-n-s of L.if; or, K:i-tr-erVit'ou. Iths not oi'lv a ro l-e .nd pn!i-t irra;i-e rn Slanbord. Exhftntste-U Vit.ri.y. Nerro'.is and t'iyncl I'ebiliiy. I'nn.fiite i-.c'.ije la isn, trrjrs of Yomh, etc. iiTit i t-r.n (;:is l j.reicripiious for icu;e and chronic li-eas-ci. each n.e of whxJ is invaluab'.e s ptott-d by tJ? au'lior. whoe exjcneLf for ül jeai Ii-1 a U h. prutably :ev-r belore fell to ;he lot o? s-.y physnian. It cmtairiB SCO T8t;e. Thonrd in tir'v i overs f-ill yili. era belli.-.lid wita tLevrr. uv.el hoc nsaviupi. gcaratteed to be a lii.cr work ia evtry et.se met banicHi, litrrajy cr irofeioi-il th'.n asyoU.er wesk retailed in this c'Jutry for Ii 5X or the E( ncy will be refunded. Price ouly S1.2 by raaih Cold Mcal awtri'.td fie actjor ty the Xn'.loral Medical Association. Il!utrt.ted iwimele t-cst oa uccipt cf six fintit. ?t nil hot, Add: c. HAWüjY 'u'Lu'.t'.Mj IXSrTTrrF. or Dr. W. 1. pAbKKR, No. 4 Kul.iUich f-r.vt. Boson. y.(. The a'.iti'i'.-r r.sr 3 xnsalted oa ail itear-es raoniriiig skill and cx'h rieuce. S C.rtrrrii by tbeStttecf I'!i- , i rxii for tht express purpose jLlT 'j v'-'.' c of r:v:njmxr.eciiate rebel in -3 'X i ' V ' "' ro!1'c- unnary and prif . i-' Olcctiir.iibyrhi'isiniintheir "i -trKx .-V- r. f-rli.-rtrd forms, clsa Bit .' ): cisccs cf the bk:a and .'.'-'' " V ' . n-rn-nn ntlvcurrd bvrtir.evv- V - v'y-V;- d.cs,ti:-tediatrf.Jcra hiSil-.aC-' vX; Swiul frit tier. fceir.ir.sl Weakness. UirM l o - t-c:; ty prratns, PirrpIfS cn the Face. Lost Man!. ore. :;, i tij ettrtJ.Tket tt isuo i-jriKfiuuntiHi;. Ztc tprrcrriate rerec!y is at once usc-t in cr.-.'i c--r,e. Treatment ty correspondence if a vi li. tj ti c city is inconveniect. Medicines sent by I :1 vr.d txpress. N'o marka on rackrtge to inuic; t- iu contents or the seeder. - All Cottstt'f.it;in und (mniunU eations narrneltij i 'onfuZmt ial. "ta jAHS'miKsmxs cdy lor D;seasc3 cf t:jc Kicreys. Female Weak, ness, Leucorrhoea rnd Painful Menstruaticn$2.00 per quart bott'.c ; ti botties for $10. TiUFV tffWr1 The best known rt rr. Willi U f4W i,cJy .n the world fcr Nervous Debility, Lo'-t I. nery. Imprudences cf Youth or later Years, Wtsung Diseases, and Dyspepsia. J I per cuurt bc'.tle ; 6 bottles for $.". jams: mm mil rSsotsj diate and remote c fleets of exhausted vitality caused by imprudences or excesses. $I.Oi per box; f boxes for $3.00. Sent ty mail, sealed, oa receipt of price. Address DR.JaMES,No. 204VVashington St,ChicaffO,llt. SMtaamc;" " m" ' ' '3-gtJi' a" HC0S5ERJ AUBER TILE & CRICK M CKINES. Y W'c ctalleie the world to produce as perfcet a combined Tue at d I'.rick Kehino that will do tbe raroe amount of work, with the same amount of power. This machine is elt-iirned expreUT fr jarties hsvlDg; thTffhiDjr Oüs'-nes For ciiculara and piico list for IsM tl, addi-s NOLAN. MADDKN A: CO., Rui.hville.Ird. ÄGENTS;V1;tli"eÄ,; pMAEK XWAINb ruriTLKD -uks: ov nit: ui.i-iipi-i. A mk thrme. aiut the n- hi -t. r... . .11111 o all the Tw.1 merits, Ct r-.Tiic ilh.-t- .i-. i-. 1 or rwir-VB'Mrs m,fAOlieULt Jk !il.VktN, CtacUaMb kl .

They act like a charm upon tre acDiuxaxca iicrv; ous System, invigorate the Generative Ocar and radically and rcrmaun'Jy remove a'l imme