Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 25 May 1952 — Page 17

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By Ed Sovola =

IT IS said age mellows a person,’ slows him down. . This mellowing -is suppofed to broaden the perspective and sharpen reflective powers, Over a period of six years, much foolishness

* and buffoonery have poured from this typewriter.

Old friends need only hear words such as leaves, trash can, storé dummy, underwater pen, doghouse and dollar" bills to recall moments of in-hibitions-on-the-wing. Being a comedian is fun, People enjoy a laugh. It isn’t difficult to get someone's attention when there is a promise of a laugh. The pointed cap with bells has been set aside on occasion. That's good for the soul. Today I have something on my chest that may strike you as strongly as it did me. How you pray or if you pray is none of my business. I witnessed the ritual of saying grace at the dinner table recently and the impact was so great I've forgotten what the host served. He’s an old friend. As bachelors, beholden to no one, we did our share of staying out late, loosening our tongues with drink, making big talk, trying to remember exactly what happened at a football game, swapping remedies for relief of the aching cerebrum. oo oo o&

BEING FOUR years mellower, this friend took unto himself a wife two years ago. Well; that slowed him down. A year later, maybe more, he was passing out cigars. I knew he prayed, went to church, was polite and considerate of others. Frankly, I always thought of him as a fine example of a gentleman and there was little room for improvement. Apparently his wife theught otherwise because the rough edges which existed, things another bachelor could overlook easily, were knocked off. : We've: had many meals together, this friend and I, in joints where ptomaine lurked in every morsel to places like the main dining room of the Drake Hotel in Chicago.

It Happened Last Night

By Earl Wilson

NEW YORK, May 24—What I have to go through with just for you people. I've just come from standing on Coleen Gray’s stomach. Miss Gray, the Hollywood actress, is strongly built, though beautiful, petite and fragile-looking. As a girl in Minnesota, she was in Danish gymnastics. For 10 years she walked around on her hands. And stood on her head. She never fell on her head, either. . “I'm supposed to be the ethereal type-~and here I got muscles. Who needs ’em?” she was lamenting the other afternoon. “Still do tricks?” I asked. A fiendish glint came into her eyes. “Do you want to stand on my stomach?” she asked quickly.

“I beg your pardon,” I said, as I am a re-

spectable farm boy. “I do it at parties. Ypu know, like Faye Emerson tosses people over her head. I'll get down on the floor and—" And there she was—5 feet 4 and 114 pounds of loveliness, ready to demonstrate a feat of strength. “I can’t,” I said. “You might get hurt.” “Hurry up.” She naturally didn’t care to lie there all afternoon. “I just tense my muscles. 1 do it with Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis on the beach.” ¢ Thus I achieved new heights, or depths, in journalistic crackpottery, by teetering, tottering, and finally falling—off of Coleen Gray’s stomach.

“Stand sideways,” was her first direction—and ~

when I started losing my balance, I bégan grabbing for a guy who'd come along. Off I crashed. Then I realized I'd been clod enough to stand there with my shoes on. Still, Emily Post’s book, “Rules and Etiquette for Standing on a Lady's Stomach,” hasn't been published yet. Coleen had ‘no scars and was gay. .- “We gotta have a picture, or nobody’ll believe it,” I said. “No,” Coleen said: “I'm no Amazon. Muscles— what girl needs muscles?” But Photog. Red Heppner was finally called. “Go over tO +..s.. .+,” somebody said, giving an address. “Earl Wilson is over there standing on Coleen Gray's stomach.” “All right,” he said—“WHAT?” This time I worked in my stocking feet. I stood on her stomach three times. I had. a perfect record, too—fell off every time. Coleen, a wonderfully personable actress, whom you've seen or will see in “Red River,” is perhaps the best-conditioned gal around, outside of maybe Betty Hutton. “I just happen to have a strong stomach,” she said, “and dealing with columnists, I guess I need one.” L TREE ER

THE MIDNIGHT EARL . . . The Mickey Rooney-Jane Kean romance looks likg marriage, She’s vacationing with him in Hollywood. Mickey,

Americana By Robert C. Ruark

NEW YORK, May 24—I have been painfully rifling the files of memory ta see if it is possible to dredge up some record of mass adolescent insanity comparable to the recent lingerie raids committed by what seems most of the students on most campuses, and can’t remember very much to match. There was a thing about goldfish-eating by candidates for eventual distinction a while bagk, but it was not so clearly in the spirit of riot as in the spirit of individual foolishness. The college man is an odd beast, half-boy, half-man, and subject to crazes, but this wholesale onslaught on the brassieres and pants of coeds Seems oddly Freudian, apart from the impetus of spring. When I was a fuzz-faced young’un in the

throes of education, we did display the odd bit

of fluffy ruffle in the souvenir drawer as a boastful memento of what we hoped would be credited as wicked accomplishment. I would bet today that 90 per cent of these alleged trophies of the chase were either filched from female relatives or bought in the 10-cent store, because us young bucks talked a great game while realizing it was merely braggadocio, unlomnded in lecherous fact, @

BUT I DO NOT recall us stormin th shack at Chapel Hill, because the Ek a hed impregnable fortress reigned over by an adamant lady whose name eludes me. I would have rather faced a platoon of wounded tigers than have dared to scale the steps that led from first to second floor, where the girls hung out their washings. This shows we were not advanced in those

* days. We still had some vestigial respect for our

South’'n womanhood, suh.

You cannot but believe that youth is much the same In any generation, and all youth goes a little berserk in the spring. On one such spring night, when the moon was milky and the flowers were blooming in the arboretum, a bunch of callow oafs drove a flivver all the way from Chapel Hill, N.C., to Montreal, Canada, because it was just too nice out to go to bed that week. > Sb

BUT THIS mass preoccupation with ladies’

: intimate apparel would lead me to believe that

there has been too much emphasis on the secondary sexual characteristics of the female through our advertising media for some years now. We have made a fetish of the chest and a symbol of silken legs. The legs of Miss Grable and Miss Dietrich

have mearly replaced baseball and the hot dog,

and the plunging neckline and the uplift brassiére

: bave occupied more printed ‘space and aimless

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als A ®t Words of . Thanks to the Lord

Saying grace at the dinner table was a habit we didn't. have. In fact, I don't remember ever talking about it, s Ever- since I have committed myself: to a young lady of my choice, I have become mellower and old ties with my ol’ buddy were dusted off. Once again-we had things in common. @ There were evenings of canasta in the living room, television nights and a sane birthday party. Then came an invitation to dinner, Two highballs whetted the appetite and when the call came for chow, I rushed to the table. Beat everyone, including Rosemary, which I heard about later.

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WHEN WE were seated and my eager hands reached for vittles, the head of the house, the ol’ friend, without fanfare or apologies, lowered his head and said: : “Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.” 3 . Like I said, I don't remember exactly what was on the table, Food and drink became unimportant. There was a man who took a few =econds of his time to thank his God for the bounty his wife and child and two friends were going ta have. I know him well enough to know why he is saying grace. Around his table good Christian habits are going to be started early. I've heard him say he is the happiest he has ever been and he considers himself most fortunate. That good fortune didn’t come from Lady Luck. For a brief ‘moment it was strange to hear him address the Provider and ask for His blessing for all at the table. The strangeness gave way to respect and awe. Deep within your own heart you recall the times when you prayed—in a plane in a storm; in a turret when a powder bag for an 8-inch shell split open on hot metal; as a little squirt when the lightning crashed in an angry sky. \When the chips are down, there's comfort in turning to the Maker and shamelessly asking for His mercy. In comfort, in pleasure, a man forgets. Some men don't. I'm sure that's where our strength resides and will continue to reside.

Here's an Old Dog With a New Trick

who's gone with Jane for years, “between marriages,” has already asked for—and obtained — Jane's sister Betty's “consent” . . . New signs indicate the Duchess of Windsor’'ll be welcomed one day in Britain. Her mourning has been impressive. Ray Milland wandered through Times 8q. the other night looking like a Bowery bum, while hidden cameras took shots for “The. Thief.” As bearded, dirty-looking Ray returned to the Plaza, a dowager snorted, “Goodness, how - Conrad Hilton's let this hotel run down.” Shshiety wonders whether "Bobo '& Winthrop Rockefeller’ll divorce now that he's everywhere with Mrs. Jeanette Edris.

Friends say he's “over the

glamour girl stage.” . . . Josephine Baker — now at flossy Ciro’s in Hollywood—has two major film offers for fall, says her mgr, N. Y. atty. Wm. Taub. . Beautiful Sherry Britton returns to the NY cafe scene May 27—at Leon & Eddie’s. ats & Bing Crosby's giving RoseMiss Britton mary oy a birthday party Friday. Her dad's flying out from Cincy. - . . The Warner Theater closes for the summer June 5. CBS would like it for TV. ... “Billy thinks someone saw Eleanor Holm,” punned Geo. Schindler. Ingrid Bergman—who first denied she expected twins—writes me, “Don’t blame this on me— this time I was fooled myself! Reporters ‘knew’ two months before the doctor and the parents. That's what I call SMART journalism. (Signed) Ingrid Bergman Rossellini.” Jamaica's still mad at Linda Darnell for her alleged remarks and refusal to assist a press junket there to plug her pictufe, “Isle of Decision.” The trip was canceled. . . . Lili Damita, ex of Errol Flynn, now at the Alrae, registered as “Lili Flynn.” \ ¢ oe TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: “At one of the political conventions, when a certain one of the candidates asks whether his votes have been counted, he'll be told, ‘Yes, it was.’ ”—Tony Pet-

\ tito.

Sylvia Sidney barely missed death on the Pennsy - Turnpike. . . Connie’5s restaurant, W. 51st 8t., will become “Hutton’s West Side. . . . Lionel Hampton'll get $15,000 a week at the Apollo. . . . Newest widely-circulated calendartype picture is of Barbara Payton. > > EARL'S PEARLS . . . Bob Haymes says he knows the value of money , . . that's why he stopped saving it. * & A FELLOW in Nevada, getting a divorce, heard-one of the atom blasts, says Jack Carter, and screamed, “My God. My wife's in town.” .. That’s Earl, brother.

Pantie Raid Craze - Is Something Ne

conversation than is merited by the presence of normal physiological features that have been synonymous with womanhood since God made the first one. * oo

THE CROWNING emphasis on ladies’ bosoms was supplied for a couple of years by the television industry, whose patron saint is Dagmar, and whose reason for existence for quite a while was based on just how deep a lady dared dip her neckline, This TV phase has passed, for the most part, but I dare say the memory lingers nostalgicly in the juvenile mind. When one has passed the signposts that point from youth to manhood, it is difficult to recall the inchoate stirrings in the adolescent breast. For instance, I generally remember me as a sedate young man, who spent most of his time studying, reading improving literature, and thinking advanced thoughts about the state of the natiofi and the world. I may have dipped a little nourishing Orange County corn on Saturday nights, but do not recall any real riots 1 was mixéd up in except accidentally. eo

COME to think of it, some hoodlums with whom I associated stole a beach umbrella and a marble-topped table from the Carolina Inn and a bench to match from President Frank Graham, and a fine, antique couriter from a country store, which made a beautiful barroom ensemble for the Phi Kappa Sigma cellar. I often wonder what became of those vandals. Probably all wound up in jail, or writing columns.

Dishing the Dirt By Marguerite Smith

Q—We are planning to fence our back yard. What plants would you suggest just inside the fence? Perhaps some plants that grow tall would help us to have a little privacy. Windsor Village. A~-My first ice for privacy in a backyard is flowering sh . You might begin planting this year toward eventually enclosing your yard with them. . A good emergency “shrub” is the castor bean. It grows like mad. If you fertilize it you may have it tree-size in a single year, It is not hardy, however. Or some other ideas— use vines over a high fence morning glory, climbing roses, honeysuckle). .Or make the fence itself high and decorative—as the split board fences, or consider a walled garden—expensive but so useful. And you might do it in sections over several years. For flowers, consider among others, delphinium, hollyhocks, especially if it's a picket fence. Tithonia and the perannial sunflowers grow tall enough ina single year to give the illusion of ‘privacy while you work toward the more permanent sort a tall hedge can give you. > ;

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You Could Trust Him In A China Shop

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§ . Texans rise in protest, TEXAS BULL—Before Texans the Jo BOLE,

" is doing a crawling trick for owner

amazingly high-trained charge—""Henry

"HE WORKS, TOO—Besides his tricks, "Henry" The owner's father, 70-year-old Marion Morgan uses him for Jloughing, tac "Henry's' un-bulllike behavior—"he's a pet==he doesn't

They Built A Ram Jet Engine At Tech

7 AT THE CONTROLS—Mr. Robert K. Offutt, instructor (left), supervises the starting of the ram jet engine. The students are (left to right): Don Conwell, Phillip

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FLUID DRIVE—=Saddled up, "Henry" doubles as a riding | borse. He's broken to four oon and kneels for saddling. When : he's full grown this playful “pony” will weigh 4500 to 5000 pounds.

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PAGE 17

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Frye, William Kelley and Robert Vaught.

By LLOYD WALTON SEVEN advanced airplane engine mechanic students at Technical High School are preparing for careers in the "Air Force and commercial aviation, Under the supervision of instruétor Robert K. Offutt, they have built a working model of a ram jet engine to study principles of jet propulsion. The engine was designed by Mr. Offutt. The wind blast for operating the engine is provided by a rebuilt wind tunnel formerly used to test model planes. Fuel jets and combustion chambers were borrowed from a GE turbo jet used in the shop for instruction. Air-speed indicators and temperature gauges taken from other aircraft assemblies decorate the control panel and al-

low an accurate check of the engine's operation, Wh » THE BOYS are enthusiastic and spend their extra time experimenting to improve the. efficiency of the engine. Mr, Offutt, who has been instructing the class since 1940, got the idea last summer while working as a jet engine labatory mechanic for the CAA at Weir Cook Airport. He suggested it to some of his advanced students and found them eager to help. Most needed materials were available in the shop. They were put together by the boys with some help from the ‘school’s sheet métal, welding and electric shops. Mr. Offutt described ram jet engines as being more efficient than the turbo jets because they

eably pulls a hayrake. he's a bull."

Explanation

have no moving parts. However, In actual flight experi. ments with the ram jet on F. 80 fighter: planes, it has been necessary to use the conventional turbo jet to get the plane airborne and provide the rush of air needed to operate the ram jet. The boys who are working on the jet engine project are Robert Vaught, Phillip Frye, James Thompson, William Kelley, Gordon Adams, Richard Rutz, and Donald Conwell, s - . JAMES THOMPSON, a reserve cheer leader, plans to enter Purdue University, when he leaves Tech, and continue study of jet theory and operation. J - William Kelley and Richard Rutz expect to attend Purdue,

“OH, BOY, APPLES" We aren't dining wishiy plead as Mrs. Billie Clark doles out hi when bigger and smarter bulls come around, they'd be from Texas?

FUTURE ENGINEERS—Tech students study are: Gordon Adams, Richard Rutz, Robert K. William Kelley, Jim Thompson, and Robert Vaught,

then enter the Air Force. Bill wants to be a mechanic. Dick would rather be a pilot or navigator.

Gordon Adams hasn't yet decided where to go to college. But he wants to be a fighter pilot and take up commercial flying later. Donald Conwell expects to study jet mechanics at Purdue before serving a hitch in the Air Force. And Phillip Frye would like to attend Allison's engineering school. All the other boys delight in kidding Robert Vaught about his ambitions. He wants to go to Indiana University to study broadcasting and dramatics. Aftety he is graduated from “there, he intends to become a commercial pilot,

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“ALL THE GUYS kid wm about wanting to study a matics,” Bol said. “They s all Tawant to do is get into tt