Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 18 April 1952 — Page 25

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By Ed Sov

A PLEASURE trip abroad is a great experience. And as experiences go, he oy thing better is getting back home.

A person gets a lot out of foreign travel

- headaches, sore feet, upset stomach, trinkets he'll

never use. Most of all he'll get advice. Any travel bureau, close or casual acquaintance who has been “over there” is ready, eager to help make your trip more enjoyable, less expensive. Advice about “foreign currency comes to the new traveler by the carload. Charts and booklets explain pounds, francs, lires, kroners, guilders, Deutschmarks down to the last pfennig. Anyone with enough sense to accumulate, beg or borrow sufficient moola to travel abroad can understand the currency converters of the countries he is going to visit. He understands on this side of the Atlantic, & Hb IN ONE EVENING, provided the television set is turned off, the average American knows to the ‘penny how many francs or lires or shillings he will get for a buck. It's all in the chart, in black and white. In my studied experience, all pamphlets fail to state that to the bewildered passport holder black becomes white and up really is down in his first few days on foreign land, and a shilling isn't worth 14¢, it's worth something between $1.68 and $30.80, Of all the pamphlets and folders that have passed through my grubby little hands, not one came right out and said, “Everything you have read and studied will vanish into thin air when you. need the information most.” Not one pamphlet or folder in bold type said, “When in doubt, over there, and that will be often, stand your ground, take your time, try to imagine you're on Washington and Meridian Sts. Furthermore, it’s perfectly natural to feel like a dope.” : eo o ALSO ABSENT in advice folders is the ancient bit of wisdom: “Experience is the best teacher.” A year has passed since my bags were packed and 1 softly stole away so it can be told now what a dope I was. Although my cheeks still

It Happened Last Night

By Ea ilson

NEW YORK, Apr. 18—I wanted to introduce Groucho Marx to some New Orleans cooking, of

. which I'm very fond.

“Fine,” said Groucho, “I like a place where I can spit on the floor and also in the boss’ eye.” We went to the Absinthe House on W. 48th St, named, of course, for the famous New Orleans bar. I introduced Groucho to the lovely Mrs, Mark Reuben, wife of the proprietor, a charming woman. e “Speaking of cooking, you're quite a dish,” |Groucho told her, waggling his eyebrows, We ordered Shrimps Creole. They were enormous, as big as I've ever seen. “Well, how are they?” Mrs. Reuben said, daring to come to our table again. “They're kind of small,” replied Groucho. “But 1 suppose that's why they call them shrimps.” “It's a great honor to have you with us,” Mrs. Reuben said.’ “If it’s such a great honor, cut out the balderdash and pick up the check,” advised Groucho. I broke in to tell Mrs. Reuben she resembles “A lot of people say that,” she admitted. “You ought to be happy about it,” exclaimed Groucho. “Nobody's told me I look like Lauren Bacall and I've been Here since Sunday.” Groucho began telling me he and Harry Ruby had written a song called, “In a Place Called Omaha, Nebraska, in the Foothills of Tennessee.” “After that it gets a little crazy,” he said, adding he sings the song. “1 didn’t know you had singing talent,” I said. “You're just saying that because you've heard me sing,” he answered. : > >

AT THIS a man who'd been a resident of Omaha came over with the announcement that he's with a big toothpaste company. “Then why are my teeth falling out?” demanded Groucho.

>

Groucho

Americana By Robert C. Ruark

(Ruth Millett's column is a regular feature on. the Woman's Page in The Indianapolis Times). NEW YORK, Apr. 18—There is an exceptionally intelligent lady name of Ruth Millett who tills the soil for our paper, and I wish to nominate her for the Lady-of-the-Year award, She has recently propounded a powerful piece of prose that will make hex no enemies. among the males of this female-badgered nation. Miss Millett broods considerably about the number of widows she sees around and about, and suggests strongly that a smart woman will start right in to take care of her old man before it is too late and she is trying on that black crepe bhonnet for keeps. This exceptionally brilliant

says that wives should ey about their husband's health. They should

2 They should cotake special care with his meals, Sr with him to save him for days to come, so the poor bum won't beat his brains out in the

trade marts.

* o/®

" 7 SHOULD limit her material wants,” ave se Millett “instead of pushing him to make more and more down payments on more and more things. She can shoulder most homemaking problems herself, instead of unloading them on him each night. She can ensourage him to find a’ relaxing: hobby. And so On...» ; This is to serve a ite Notice STONE ere ss this kind and ant .ad) rie hat uviess pinned onto the connubial checkbook in order to insure reading—is followed to the letter. I am just going to pine away and may eventually die to prove a point. . * & 2 WIDOWHOOD is not a desirable state, especially for the older girls who are neither so narrow in the beam nor so nimble of foot as they used to be. The menfolk are getting tougher to slip a noose on, and even the bright-eyed young ‘sprigs have trouble with the lasso. In case anybody fn this house is interested, widowhood brings, a sharp curtailment. of many things, such as charming companionship, comfort in crises with the cook and the hairdresser, and the presence of a kind, industrious, thoughtful male around the lodge to provide pretties for deserving wives who refrain from warming their cold feet on father's spinal column, .

I AIN'T naming any names, but some wives are luckier than other wives, hecause some wives aren't allowed to handle the finances and walk the dogs and generally rule the roost, Some wives have husbands who gamble away their substance, and stay out all night rioting around with sick friends, and who play the horses and drink that nasty old whisky to excess. Some wives have husbands who complain bitterly, about no buttons on

shirts and the anemic condition of the coffee and

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Inside Indianapolis os re coNdianapolis mum

“ Chicago school teacher,

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After Trip Abroad

¥ ¥ ! RR <2 flush slightly at the thought of some incidents, the shuddering has stopped. Let it be said there were others in the same boat. es For six days, passengers regaled each other with their knowledge of currency. A middle-aged who had saved her pennies long before World War II, for the Grand Tour, spouted information in a manner that would have caught the attention of an international banker. I couldn't recite the multiplication table faster than she could give the rates of exchange in Britain, France and Germany, In front of the Victoria Station in London, she couldn't have recitéd the multiplication table. She made the mistake of asking the cabby how much he would charge to take her to her hotel.

> & ¢ .

AS I REMEMBER, the fare was 5/6 (five and six)y five shillings and a sixpence, roughly 78 cents. The mind can play tricks. The cabby should have said five shillings and sixpence slowly. The teacher shouldn't have been so excited, so budget conscious, such an ol’ fuddysduddy. When in doubt, get off the platform. I wasn't much help. I grabbed a cab, rode to the hotel and gave the driver a pound note. He gave me change while my IBM mechanism floundered with the rate without betraying my igfiorance. For a tip, I extended a handful of change and asked the driver to take a coin. - His thanks were profuse, sO we can assume everything was satisfactory. In three days and several pound notes loosely spent later, it would take a British youngster of 3 to cheat me out of my wad. After all, a pound note is only worth $2.80. In France, for one buck you get about 350 francs and the paper currency looks like FelsNaptha soap wrappers. The best way to get along is peel off 100-and 500-franc notes until the cabby or salesperson signals enough. «In Italy, where a dollar buyg 630 lire, all chart learning scatters over the nearest piazza. Time, experience and rapid disappearance of traveler's checks sharpen your wits. A thorough knowledge of currency rates is good. It's the theory one needs. Makes the practice less expensive. Worry most that you have enough dough. The rate of exchange will work out . . , right out of your pocket.

Groucho Finds Nice Dish at Luncheon

“I'm just a man from Nebraska, the fellow said. : “It's an honor to meet a man from Nebraska. We didn’t know there were any,” Groucho said. The man from Nebraska picked up Mrs, Reuben's hand. “Is that part of the dinner—lady's fingers for dessert?” snapped Groucho. Groucho said he had to be rushing over to Simon & Schuster to discuss his new book, “The Private Letters of Groucho Marx.” He expected to buy a copy when it gets down to the 25¢ size. “There are five brothers,” he explained. “It will come down to a nickel a brother, That's what the Marx Brothers have come to.” x When: we got up to leave, Groucho turned to Proprietor Reuben. “There's only one thing I want to say to you. I'm sorry you're married,” he said. eB 2 THE MIDNIGHT EARL . .. Ingrid Bergman —recently very sick of low blood pressure and sinus—denies she expects twins , . . The Palace coaxed Betty Hutton to stay longer. Frank Costello’ll try to avoid jail, charging grand jurors included Mrs. Robert Blaikie, wife of his political enemy. (A new perjury indictment against him is “very strong.”) Lawrence Tibbett's in Roosevelt Hospital . . . Diosa Costello and Pupi Campa may forever sever . + « Mickey Mantle showed his bride the Seltze Room at Max's Stage Delicatessen. . Milton Berle's mad at joker Cara. Williams. Leaving Lindy's, she told Miltie’s chauffeur to go on home. Wanting him later, Miltie was livid. Publisher 8. I. Newhouse’s son, 8. I. Jr., makes him a grampaw . .. A big paper won't mention the Copa and Johnnie Ray. An editor got a seat behind a post . .. On the ledge’s edge: Peter Gimbel and Martha Fulford. Gussie Moran’ll make a singing debut at Forpst Hills Inn . . . Princess Christiana Torlonio slapped a wealthy male at El Morocco and he walloped her back. Wow-ee . . . B'wayites gaped as friends curtsied to the Duke of Windsor when he came out of the Paramount Bldg. after a screening of “Carrie.” * 0» @ TAFFY TUTTLE told Billy Ward that whoever planned the world did a good job—put most of the trees out in the country , , . That's Earl, brother.

Ruth Millett Wins Some Male Huzzahs

the steepness of the grocery bill and the tilt of the tab at the dressmaker’s. There are some wives who have rude husbands, who criticize their hats and quarrel with

their relatives and who bury their noses in newspapers and just grunt when spoken to. I have

even heard of wives who have husbands who beat them up occasionally, but am prone to doubt this, having never seen any man with courage enough to take a sock at a woman. THERE are some wives who complain all the time about not getting the new drapes or the new car or the trip to Europe. They do: not realize that a husband is such a delicate mechanism that the slightest extra stress on his nervous system can send him into sick bay, perchance to emerge on a slab with a calla lily in his clutch. There are some wives who nag and complain and ask questions about things which are none of their business, such as why did you pay so much attention to that little blond hussy at the party? There are some wives who never have anything to wear, despite a shopping trip that lasts from May to December. oS bob THESE are very stupid wives, because they are digging their husbands’ graves with thoughtlessness, and, in so doing, insuring their own lengthy span as lone, lone widows, Agajn, I will name no names, but unless there is a sharp upturn of interest in and concern for Papa's health, comfort and happiness, I cannot be held responsible for the consequences. I already feel a little faint, due to Miss Millett's.article, and may not _make it until payday, at which time the insurance premium comes due.

Dishing the Dirt By Marguerite Smith

Q—What could be lacking in our soil? We have the nicest bushes and pods on our peas and lima beans but no limas or peas. Mrs. Allen Griffin, Carmel. ;

‘A+—When fruit or seeds or flowers are scant” on plants that look just fine and grow: in a seem- -

ingly healthy fashion, it’s very likely phosphate deficiency. Balanced diet is necessary for plants as well as for people. And if the leaves on your plants are a rich dark green you have still further evidence of an overbalance of nitrate. Peas and

Read Marguerita Smith's Garden Column in The Sunday Times :

beans have the nice quality of being able to pick up mitrogen from the air so they wil thrive on less nitrogen fertilizer than many plants. If (as seems likely from the unpublished part of this letter) you have used considerable manure ‘on ‘your garden, you need to balance it with a high phosphate, high” potash fertilizer. You might use a farm fertilizer such as 0-20-20 or 2-10-10. These figures indicate in sequence the percentages of nitrate; phosphate and potash. You might also nave some trace element deficiency, But these are of comparatively rare occurrence -compared to lack of the three types of plant food mentioned. : . i]

5 Home is Sweeter

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FRIDAY, APRIL 18, 1952

WHERE STANDS THE PRESIDENT ?2—

By KERMIT McFARLAND ‘Seripps-Howard Staff Writer

WASHINGTON, Apr. 18

—If there is one thread |!

which seems to string all

the way through the seven years of Harry Truman it is the President's unfailing belief in his, own rightness. “I think I ‘have been right in the approach to all questions 90 per cent of the time since I took over,” he writes in the book, “Mr. President.”

But it is kind of post-deed rightness. Once having done something, he exudes confidence about the correctness of his action. Any shifting or drifting beforehand doesn't count. Regardless of how much procrastination, . or inconsistency, or alteration there has been in his “approach” to a question, he will insist — once having made a statement or reached a conclusion—that that has been his idea all along. n . . FOR INSTANCE, after the scandals in the Internal Revenue Bureau had been boiling for more than a year, the President sent to Congress a plan for reorganizing the bureau. Three years earlier, the Hoover Commission had urged a similar plan. Mr. Truman had embraced, in principle, recommendations of the Hoover Gommissioh. But no Internal evenue Bureau plan had been developed. Even last October, after the scandals were in full bloom, Mr. Truman told a press conference he wasn't so sure civil service was the right system for the tax collectors. But three weeks later his new Democratic chairman, Frank E. McKinney, went to the White House and urged civil service for the collectors

and- the President edily indorsed the idea. ” » »

EARLY in March, the reorganization plan was submitted to Congress. In his book, published a few days later, Mr. Truman said this plan merely was “one

f i eh

tegrity and fairness in the conduct of all government business.” “This is a policy I have always followed,” he said. “It has never been anything else and I have never done it any other way.” ’ When the Fulbright Committee first exposed the favoritism, influence and bad loans in the RFC, Mr, Truman said he had full confidence in the rightness

W. STUART SYMINGTON

was drafted as top trouble. shooter in the RFC. His job . . . clean it up. Only a few weeks before Mr. Truman had full confidence in the rightness of all RFC loans and called the Fulbright report "asinine."

of all the RFC loans and called the Fulbright report “asinine " . . SEVERAL weeks -later, he reorganized the RFC and draft. ed his top trouble-shooter, W, Stuart Symington, to clean it up. Coupled with Mr, Truman's supreme confidence, which often amounts to belligerent cockiness, is a persecution complex,

He blames most of his troubles on the greed or over-am-bition of. others, on “special interests.” In his book, he says the election of a Republican Congress in 1946, the year after he took office, was the result of “a campaign of vilification, misrepresentation and false. hood’’ which was waged against him after the war ended.

His speeches, press conferences, writings and the book are full of jibes at those he claims are picking on him unfairly. : ii » wo» YET IN the book he says: “S80 I don’t let these things bother me for the simple reason I know I am trying to do the right thing and eventually the facts will come out .. . I never give much weight or attention to the brickbats that are thrown my way.” This singular mixture of contradictions is apparent in almost every phase of Mr. Truman and his seven years. He militantly demanded a

DAUGHTER MARG A RET received a bad press on one of her concerts which fired the presidential wrath, Not long beore that he wrote a stinging letter about the Marine Corps. Marines got an apology. Reporter , . , nothing.

“pay-as-you-go" defense budget, and later unconcernedly sent Congress a budget with a $14 billion deficit, He has waged a stout war of words against inflation, but at a critical time he calmly left it to its own.insidious devices. » J .

HE HAS denounced favoritism in public office in scathing terms, yet stubbornly tolerated it in some quarters.

He has ordered his departthents to cut spending to a minimum, and then sent Congress record-breaking budgets.

He has favored stringent laws to block * strikes, hut vetoed milder statutes,

He has raked Communists and all their ilk with unmitigated denunciation, and then scuttled measures designed to combat them,

His personal popularity in the country has ridden the same roller-coaster as much of the administration policy. In 1048, when all the experts believed he was a gone goose and his own party leaders were running for the caves, Mr. Truman put a chip on his shoulder, grasped the nomination and won an astonishing reselection. He has had that chip on his shoulder ever since. " » ” IN THE seven years of President Truman, the world has trembled from one global conflict to the doorstep of an-

HOW TO GET RICH IN WASHINGTON . . . No. 5—

Uncle Sam Plays Lady Bountiful Part .

By BLAIR BOLLES THE POST-WAR decay of Washington into a house of temptation and privilege began during World War II. It originated in the military services, which fell into the habit of playing Lady Bountiful to favored Americans

goon after th: attack on Pearl Harbor plunged = the United States into the conflict. By 1942, the Army and Navy were giving away undeservedly large sums to industrial makers of war supplies whose contractual arrangements with the military had been thrown out of whack by favorable shifts in the fortunes of war.

This particular kind of generosjty contained the seed of the future. ~ n »

A CARBURETOR maker was. credited in his settlement with $181,357 for his inventory, which theoretically became the property of the government. He was permitted to keep this inventory for a payment of $1463. Boen afterward he sold some of the goods in the inventory for $55,601. Th's contractor bought for £1000 another inventory valued by contract settlement officers at $80,000. He purchased it as a consignment of used goods and thereupon sold it to the government for new, This. method has many variA. dozing government official let one contractor charge the United States §2,.137,012.61 for an Inventory which the contractor himself had appraised at $1,068,124.53.

“Having taken the inventory at

the higher figure, the government, lulled by false assurances that the market for the merchandise was poor, sold it back to. the contractor for $339,358.14. @ . ” ” » SATISFIED that the gullibility of government agents had no limits, the. same contractor charged the government $87,669.38 in his settlement. for another Inventory. Before the government removed the goods, he used $17,059.66 worth of the material which he had sold.

To cover up the steal when “+ at: length the news came

that

“ a, 4

EDITOR'S NOTE: This is the fifth installment of =a series. It is taken frem the hook, HOW TO GET RICH IN WASHINGTON, Blair Bolles, the author, Is the wellknown writer who had 12 Years newspaper experience

in Washington.

the government was about to gend for the inventory, he persuaded the government to let him purchase the entire lot for $15,911.20. Thus he profited by $89,000 on goods which the government valued at $87,000.

The greedy contractors who were hemmed in by the rare diligent. and responsihje public servant could always find a friend in the government if they made careful search, One such contractor was repaid for his patience by a settlement which brought him more money for producing nothing = than he would have obtained if he had carried out his part of his bargain.

" ” 2 HE HAD contracted to make - 17 "ordnance trucks for the

“encouraged

Army, at a cost to the gowvernment of $665,000, He delivered two The Army rejected cause they did not meet the specifications in the contract, The War Department suspended the contract.

That terminated it until a review agency decided that the contractor had.been mistreated. In keeping with the general policy of guaranteeing a profit to contractors, the tender-

vehicles.

them be- *

v

CHIEF JUSTICE VINSON was su by the resident to go on a peace mission to Moscow. On the surface this was a good move, except for one thing. Shortly before Pres ident's proposal, Vinson made a blistering attack on Reds.

other, and the domestic issues have about run the gamut. Mr. Truman's has been an administration of historic scope, plagued with monstrous and varied problems, which has steered the nation far from its traditional politics. Hisadministration has launched a worldwide rearmament and economic relief program, it has collected more taxes and spent more money, it has

in a vast dip-

lomatic and propaganda effort on a global scale. Yet, there is some evidence, at least, that the administration will be noted as much for some of its frivolities as the world-shaking events in which it has played such a star role. » ~ . MR. TRUMAN'S explosive, off-the-cuff comments, written

“is the Navy's police force, and as long as I am President that is ‘what it will remain, They have a propaganda machine that is aimost equal to Stalin's.’ The reverberations wers In#tant and uproarious.

Mr. Truman calmly wrote an

apologetic letter to the Marine

.THE ARMY AND NAVY gave away undeservedly large sums to war supply manufacturers during World War II. This was the

privilege. my ’

mitted ‘an officer to resign his commission to that he could accept the vice presidency of the York Safe & Lock Co. At the same time it accepted the resignation of a civilian clerk

hearted reviewers ordered the « '0 become president of the same

government to settle with him for $038,760.38, or $273,760.38 more than he would have received if he had made the 17 trucks. High authorities of the Navy its - employees to make business connections with

the contracting firms. In the

midst of the war the Navy per1 . eh

firm, » » »

THE two men already were managing York for the Navy; the government had seized the company about 10 months before they left the service.

As president, Frank Baumis received $35,000 4 year to do the same work for which, the

"»

start of the decay of Washington into a house of temptation and

government _ had paid him $4500 in 10 months. As vice president, William F. Morris received $20,500.a year instead of a naval lieutenant’s meager pay. . The termination settlement of York's wartime contracts showed that the stockholders were wise to pay those salaries. The company owed the government $1,164,790.38 when Baumis and Morris took office as private citizens. In partial payment York offered 99.7 acres of land and the buildings on it. The parcel had cost the company

« "settlement before final

Corps commandant and showed up, unscheduled, at a convention of the Marine Corps League to praise the Marines in glowing words. r yn BUT HE didn't apologize to the Washington music. crite whose review of daughter Mare garet's concert had fired his wrath. 4 “I have just read your os in the back pages,” snapped the presidential pen. “You sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an ulcer man on a four-ulcer joi and all four ulcers 4 His resourcefulness in politics has been & | with a frequent brashness, wh he seemed to throw caution ‘to the winds. ; Sn His sure-foctedngss a some diplomatic s ha spotted by apparently Jmpatus it ous and even flippant ! or proposals. aR a sn Srey he “a decent” fellow, but was & prisoner of the Politburo. Or the time he proposed sends ing Chief Justice Vinson to Moscow on a peace Znistiph, [2 blistered. f couldn't

right after he had Soviets as leaders who

$17,456.25 in 1040, and no ime provements had been made. = The records of the company valued the land and buildings at $17,580.88 in 1045. Without appraising the property, thé Navy paid $217,775.02 for it.

THE laws of the United States still forbid fraud but many offenders who were éutrageously careless or dishonest in contract settlement negotias tions have gone free because the Department of Justice Is ja about bringing suit against em.

One of every 20 settlements which the General Accountin Office examined was induc by fraud. Each of thoss cases was referred to the Dee. partment of Justice, which ene forces the law for the federal government. Of $20 million lost through fraudulent arrangements, six years after the act, Justice has recaptured $200,000 for the Treasury. 2 The Contract Settlement Act ties the hands of Justice as well as it does of the General Accounting Office, In prohibiting an independent audit of; each ’ pays ‘ment from the government to the contractor, the law put out of bounds the only reliable means for discovering fraud. » » »

IT IS not the practice of those involved in fraud boldly to reflect the evidence of it in the records available to de tectives and other agents. So the Department of Justice has a difficult task in constructing a lawyer-proof fraud case long after the fraud took place. Mere evidence that a cone tractor received more than he was entitled to-in the settle ment means nothing in court, The Contract Settlement act prevents a demand for the re«' turn of any amount improperly paid, except where it can ‘ba’ ° established that the over ment was induced by fra Every nonfraudulent ment is final. : Sis (Copyright: 1952. by Blair Bolles:

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