Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 7 March 1952 — Page 21

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Inside Indianapolis By Ed Sovola

WHAT A great, feeling it is to see a big job I'm glad to wash my hands of the Kingan bacon-and-egg sign at the corner of Illingis St. and Kentucky Ave.

““ For over a week, at odd times during the day

(odd times ih my schedule mean anywhere from 9:30 a. m. to 3 p. m.), I've watched the huge billboard get flogged with steel straps, burned with blow torches and scraped” with razor-sharp machetes, Late-sleeping guests: of the Lincoln and Claypool Hotels last week would probably disagree, but I thought beating the sheet-metal sign with steel straps was a novel and extremely noisy way of removing paint. : For three hours I watched at a safe distance. No use taking any chances and getting a sliver of paint in your eye. When the two strap-slappers came off their high sign, it was time to find out if they were angry at Kingan or Arthur Godfrey's picture which took a terrible beating. >.»

EVERETT KROME and his son, Ted, weren't teed off at anyone. In cold weather the only way to take 16 coats of paint off three-eighths of an inch thick is to beat it off. The metal is cold and shrinks a little. The paint is cold and it shrinks and becomes brittle. Sheet metal will give and vibrate under a heavy, flat blow. Wham ~~the paint comes off. “In warm. weather we would use torches,” explained the senior Krome, who has been policing billboards for General Outdoor Advertising Co. for 26 years. “Pretty hard work thumping a sign a few thousand times with a steel strap?” I asked 6f the two puffing men. It has been my practice to inquire about jobs. If a certain occupation meets a list of classifications I have set up with aid from the Bureau of Standards for Loafers, it goes into a little black book and serves as a reminder to never mess with it. “What do you think?” countered Ted, “you've been watching all morning.” Notations were made in the book in silence. “If there was an easier way of doing it, we wouldn’t be beatin’ the tar out of the sign,” added Ted's Dad.

It Happened Last Night

By Earl Wilson

NEW YORK, Mar. 7—I went. back home the other day—out to the Middler West—where I gassed with the guy at the gas station and chewed the fat with the butcher.

Who were they talking about? Olivier and Virginia Leigh? In the pig's ear. They were talking about Truman and Taft and Ike and Red Skelton and Lucille Bal’ and Desi Arnez, and “I Love Lucy.” Tt scared me. You remember how them California critters licked New York at movie producing. Have they driven us to the wall— already—on television? I'm sort of a student of this Skelton fellow, who's from Ohio and Indiana, but now operating from California. “Too bad about the rain out here—it ruined the marijuana crop,” is a typical Skelton gag. “Some car I got—I have to shift into second to run over a pedestrian,” is another, dS SD

“THEN THERE'S the kid who ate ice cream, cake, pickles, hamburger, weenies, watermelon and ple at the party, came home with a bellyache, and told his dad: “That spinach’ll do it every time.” Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez are just enchanting in their Mr. and Mrs. nonsense, also from California. Our son Slugger even gave a junior-sized guffaw last night at some dialog about some furniture, to wit: “What is this, 19th Century Provincial”? , ,. “No, 20th Century Ugly.”

Sir Laurence

The sad thing to this New Yorker is that I -

fear the California clowns are gaining on the New York funnymen—S8id Caesar, Arthur Godfrey, Ken Murray, Jackie Gleason, Herb Shriner, and “Mr, Television,” Milton Berle. Some ot our New York geniuses are depressed.

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“THEY FOUND a cure for TB,” says the wellknown television writer, Bob Weisskopf, “but they'll never find one for TV.” He was talking about the problem of keeping a TV show popular. It may be that Milton Berle, whose throne is now threatened, will go down in history as the greatest ever because he lasted the longest. Uncle Miltie's top writers, Hal Collins and Bobby Gordon, have to be a little crazy. A big

Americana By Robert C. Ruark

NEW YORK, Mar. 7—Once in a while, when the state of the French cabinet, taxes, Truman, inflation, wars, Russians, diseases, diets, dandruff, and the diagnosis for all the ills from athlete's ankle to trichinosis of the tryicycle start to chew away at my nerves, I like to stop and dwell a bit on, my Uncle Jimmy.

Uncle Jimmy believed a few things fewvently. One of the things he believed was thal

haste made waste, and anybody who got himself in an uproar was apt to unsettle his digestion and maybe cause the roof to leak: Uncle Jimmy tended store in a little town called Southport, N. C. I say tended ft—actually, he supervised its presence. : They tell a story about Uncle Jimmy that fits my mood right now. Seems he was sitting on something on the front piazza of his store one day, enjoying the sunshine and contemplating his tummy. A young man whizzed up and -said: “Mister Jimmy, 1 want a half-pound of tenpenny nails.” “Fine, son,” Uncle Jimmy said. “Go right qn into the store and weigh 'em out yourself.” THE YOUNG MAN disappeared, into the little general store, and after’ five minutes or so he came out. : ‘ “Mister Jimmy.” he said. “I looked high and I looked low, and doggoned if I seen hide nor hair of ary tenpenny nails.” “I know we. got some sorhewhere,” Uncle Jimmy replied. “You best go back and look ’em up some more. Look back there behind where we keep the ginger snaps and the sour pickle kags. They got to be somewhere.” Young man vanished. Ten minutes passed before he was back, empty-handed. “Dog take it, Mister Jimmy,” he said. “I looked everywhere from under the over-halls to up on the shelf where you keep the apple tobacco, and there ain't nary a nail in the house. Not no tenpenny nails, anyhow, there ain't. n oo oo o UNCLE JIMMY. scratched himself and looked annoyed. “Sure’s gun's iron; son,” he said. “I reckon we got a whole kag of those tenpenny nails in here no longer ago 'n yesterday or the day before. I swear I can’t imagine what went with ‘em unless some. ..” Uncle Jimmy teted his head an inch, and remembrance struck. “Why, sho, son,” he said. “All“the time we been talkin’ about them nails and all the time you were lookin’ for 'em in. the store, I just remember I been sittin’ on that kag of nails the whole doggoned time. Suppose, son,” Uncle Jimmy sald, ‘you just come back here tomorrey and

pick up your nails.” >

So ® . MY UNCLE JIMMY, it seems to me, was a man of admirable restraint, and he lived long and happily. He was parcel of a serene period when

.that. it couldn't -wait another day,

- - a

as of Paint

asy Lesson No STONES or old shoes were thrown from the“ Lincoln Hotel although Mr. Krome jection seeing several grimacing faces in thé win He "said the spectators weren't “smiling js waving.” . The only beaten thing that sounds more loathsome to. the ear than the Kingan sign the Krome family was thumping, I believe, is the huge Purdue University drum. Especially revolting when Indiana University, that citadel of culture, is losing on the field of battle. One day at an, odd time, 10:34 a. m,, I noticed the Kromes were gone, Twa other men had taken their place. . The sign was painted a dull white. It took two days (might have been three) before John (Dutch) Schultz came within conversation distance. Dutch has been painting signs for General Outdoor for 35 years. I forgot to ask if that was before paint was invented. Dutch’s helper is Willard Lusk. Dutch handles the fancy work and Willard the heavy-duty smearing. Before all the copy is on and {llustrations look good enough to eat, Dutch covers almost all of the 2000 square feet of sign.

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THIRTEEN GALLONS of paint are required for the job and the copy is changed every three months. The paint is chipped or burned off every four years. Quickly now, using that new, timesaving device, the multiplication table, we discover 208 gallons of paint are on the sign waiting to be scraped off at the end of four years. Dutch, a landscape painter during his leisure hours, never steps back .to survey his work. When you're 40 feet in the air and only have a 24-inch platform or stage to work from, you literally watch your step.

The scale is one inch to two feet. Dutch works .

from a sketch that is divided into one-inch squares. He forgets the entire sign and paints the two-foot square spot exactly as it is shown on the pattern. When he has duplicated all the two-foot spots, he has the job completed. Dutch happened to be painting bacon strips when 1 went up to gather. paint spots on my clothes. “I forgot the bacon and concentrate on the spot,” he explained. “Do your landscapes have lettering in them, Dutch?” Gad, I've always wanted a green forehead. Ask and ye shall receive « + v SpIat,

Midwest Likes Hollywood’s TV

@

-THE ARMY THAT ISN'T THERE .

hotel man was telling Gordon how much business ”

was off. “I guess,” said the hotelier, seeking an éxplanation, “it must be due to Lent.” “Of course,” nodded Gordon sympathetically, “who sleeps during Lent?” Then there's this kind of a wheeze: “How'd that fight you had with your wife turn out?” "Aw, she came crawling to me on hands and knees.” “Really? What'd she say?” “ ‘Come on out from under the bed, you coward.” Anybody who thinks like that can write for TV. But I wonder if they ought to. It- may bring back box-suppers. 1 hb THE MIDNIGHT EARL . . . Singer Connie Russell is recovering from too many sleeping pills in Roosevelt Hospital. Her father, Tom, said she'd gone to the hospital for a cold. She was taken by ambulance from her Warwick suite. She'll be back on Dave Garroway's TV show. A friend said she'd been run down from recent hard work and was trying to get some rest. Frank Sinatra’ll get a big buildup by Paramount Theater for his Mar. 26 appearance with June Hutton, Buddy Rich's band, and Frank Fontaine. Billy Rose's life story is being offered to Hollywood for $300,000 , . . Artist Paul Meltsner’'s plan for “a city of art” in Paris is stirring excitement there . . . Mrs. Dick Reynolds’ young son has

almost recovered from polio. SN

TODAY'S BEST LAUGH . .. A martini lover asked Shippy the Bartender at Toots Shor’s for a ‘very dry” martini—“about’' 35 to 1.” As the amazed Shippy put in one drop of vermouth, he said, “Would you like a twist of lemom peel?” The customer shouted, “Listen, if I wanted a lemonade, I'd have asked for it.” That's Earl, brother.

Miss Hutton

Maybe Uncle Jimmy Had the Right Idea

people most generally died of old age instead of some fancy doctor's delight—an age in which the gallopin’ consumption and heart diseases were about the only diagnosable fatal ills. It was an age ‘yet unexploited by psychiatrists, television, the airplane or the virus infection.

There was no such thing in those days as a

diet. It was assumed that people who passed their prime would get fat, and any middle-aged woman who was not comfortably bolstered was a bad advertisement for her own kitchen. o> BS BH TAXES, while technically in existence, were so miniscule as to be invisible to all but millionaires, who paid 2 per cent or some such ridiculous figure. The state had not discovered liquor as a blackmail device to prey on man’s weakness —pre-Volstead -bonded stuff was a buck or so the full 32-ounce quart, and when prohibition came nonblinding shine sold in fruit jars for 50 cents a quart or $1.50 the gallon. There . was literally nothing so imperative like Uncle Jimmy's keg of nails. We had no radio to impress us ‘with doom, no atom to brood about, and Europe was so far away that nobody but rich sassiety folks and sailors ever went there, Gentlemen chewed tobacco and spat into the sand, and ladies stayed out of politics and, largely, out of commerce. J was mighty young, but T remember it as a pleasant time, And I am wondering today if destiny would not be served ag well if everybody waited until tomorrow to come back for those tenpenny nails—espectally when the man that owns ‘em is sittin’ on ‘em.

Dishing the Dirt By Marguerite Smith

Q—I lived in an apartment in New York City, had no exp>rience with gardens, until we moved to Indianapolis and bought our little house. Last spring I planted zinnias and marigolds. What an exciting experience to see them grow. Now can ‘you suggest.some perennials to plant between two evergreens in front of our house, below a picture window? Mrs. C. K. N., Sheridan A—Since you're still a bit new to gardening why don’t you stick to some easy-to-raise things in your front flower bed? For example, a favorite treatment below a picture window is a ground cover, myrtle or {vy, for instance, with bulbs such as red tulips to pop up with bright color against the green in spring. For summer you might use, with or without the blanket of

Read Marguerite Smith's Garden Column in The Sunday Times

green around them, petunias, or marigolds with deep purple petunias, or dwarf pink zinnias edged with white or lavender alysum. If your picture window is as low as most, many perennials would be too tall, Their blooming period also is rather short and you need a wide bed to plant ‘enough variety to have color most of the sum_mer., Why not experiment in a' backyard bed with delphinium, Shasta daisies, corepsis, and ‘such until you are.a bit more familar with them.

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~The In ianapolis

‘Times

For,

The Big Payoff Comes in Battle

CALL TO COLORS—Japan will be willing to fight , . . By ED KENNEDY Battle i€ the payoff for an army. So the question

arises:

“Will the new Japanese army fight 7” Occupation headquarters in Tokyo may disclaim that

the 75,000-strong National Police Reserve is an army. But the army spirit is there. It may

not really be an army, but the Yobitai is a more than, reasonable facsimile of one. *

To Americans, this means that the Janpanese can probably produce a first rate army in Asia that could stand as a physical bulwark against Russian aggression. The Yobitai is being trained to fight. That is certain. Classroom officers delivering lectures on weapons or tactics, say: “When you get to combat, you will do it this way.” These men can have no doubt about what this training is for. They know they are not Boy Scouts armed with rifles to shoot stray bears. y 2 ” s THE BEAR that Japan does fear is that of Red Russia. Russia has "a four pronged attack ready to jump off at any time from the islands north of Japan. A full Russian field army with five airborne, five armored, one cavalry and nine infantry divisions has the Island of Hokkaido completely flanked and enveloped. If Russia could sweep through Europe in 30 days,”she could go through Japan in 10. That is today. But the Japanse do not want to sit placidly. and await this. s » - THEY want ejther no army at all and guaranteed outside protection or an army of their own that is capable of defending them. With support of the United States, they could produce such an army in a year. The Yobitai of today would be the nucleus. It has a complete plan, feeble perhaps and requiring much development, to resist any Russian aggression in their homeland. In a few weeks, Japan will again ‘be a sovereign nation

free to plot her own destiny. If -

occupation time has been well

EDITOR'S NOTE: Mr, Kennedy, Times staff writer, recently returned from Korea and Japan. This is the last in his series on the Japanese “Army.”

spent and the disruption of Gen. Douglas MacArthur's tenure during the crucial transitory period has not upset the apple cart, Japan is with us.

She will have long and seri--

ous debate—but she will have an army. This army cannot be supported by Japan's present economy, The tanks, guns and bulldozers will have to come from Allies. o o . JAPAN'S new army will be a democratic army. If such an army carries on in the tradition of the 19-month-old Yobitai, 90 per cent of the men now in the National Police Reserve will stay. If the old Impérial Army takes over, the reserves indicate they will not be satisfied and will resign. The new. army will be controlled by the government and it will not run the government. Ranking officers will be civilians with short term military experience. They will dominate the needed tactical officers from the

Imperial Army until a new corps has been trained. Japan can fight for the

United Nations and serve as an ally to the United States. But the problems of Japan must then devolve upon the United States. o » » JAPAN will fight if Japan believes she can win something. The territorial clause in the Peace Treaty, limiting her to four major islands, seems impractical to the Japanese point of view. The nation has 80.million inhabitants and the ground area is ‘bursting at the seams. More room is needed. If the rewatds of joining the United: Nations and standing ready to serve brings to Japan more land or access to raw ma-

a

DRINKING: WHAT TO DO ‘ABOUT iT.

If You Want To Drink, Learn Your Load

By WILLIAM A. DeWITT

WHAT TO do about drinking? The fundamental truth about drinking for normal

people is that it's fun.

Therefore, approximately 90 per cent of the time, the

answer to the question—what to do about it—is go ahead "and enjoy it. But enjoyment of drinking; like everything else, involves

a variety of things. It includes:

such old-hat matters as knowledge, self-discipline. and consideration of others. Knowledge of what to drink. at what times and how much is as relative as anything can be. Ther experts deal alcoholics out of drinking, entirely. But ' the other millions of Americans who drink have to pay some degree of respect to the obligations of selfdiscipline and consideration for others. The degree of their respect will control the degree of their drinking enjoyment, n = ” A PROMINENT dramatic critic may say that he never had a hangover till he ate a hamburger just before bedtime one night. But the rest of us feel the effects of lack of selfdiscipline the next morning very acutely. We also are keenly conscious of our breaches of courtesy to others. Rude remarks, pugnaciousness and unseemly romantic advances are .some of the more obvious social improprieties. But there are a few others that may deserve comment, To stick ‘strictly to the matter of .drinking, there are grievous faults, both in serving and accepting beverages. Consider the’ guest who must have Scotch or champagne or_some other expensive tipple. . :

“.

EDITOR'S NOTE: This. is the last of a series. They are taken from the book, DRINKING AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT, just published by Grosset & Dunlap.

There may be a handful of individuals in the world who really are allergic to all- forms

of liquor except the one they .

prefer, although they'd be hard put to prove it scientifically. For them the clearly proper conduct is (a) to stay home, (b) to carry their own liquor, (ec) to decline the unacceptable drink that is offered. For thdse individuals who are showing off in asking for a kind of liquor that isn’t offered, the proper conduct is to jump or submit to being pushed out of a window. Most drinkers take an occasional holiday from the bottle, for reasons of health, wealth or self-judgment.

” » ” THE EXPERIENCE would always be beneficial except that their friends unanimously turn generous with drinks and nosey with questions. Alcoholics Anonymous has provided some unintended relief for persons temporarily on the wagon who like to use shock tactics. They can say “Didn't you know? coholic.” © And that matter, : Others have used, unmentionable diseases forthe same purpose. plained his abstinence on the

ends the

I'm-an al--

One individual has’ ex- ,

"FRIDAY, MARCH 1, 1952

. No. 5—

if the Allies will back her

terials, she will pledge her support—and she will fight, Japan is not going to be held down. The people are industrious, clever and aggressive. They have apparently learned to like the Allies, They have disliked Russia for years,

” A FORMER Imperial major now serving in the Yobital, sums it up this way: “We beat them (the Russians) any time, any place, anywhere. And we can do it again if necessary if the United States stays with us.” But they remember and point out what happened in China. They saw China lost to the Communists, They wonder how Japan might fare. . American policy {in Japan has made a friend of a former enemy. That, too, is certain. Democracy has gained stature in the Japanese way of life. But the Communist problem will undoubtedly be handled in Japan in a Japanese manner. They have their own techniques in dealing with such things— techniques perhaps not understood by us, but highly effectfive. As one Tokyo business man said, “Right now, with SCAP still here, we have a little too much democracy.”

» ” ” HIS POINT was that comes the end of the American occupation, a number of Communists would either see the light or else— A leading Japanese engineer, who taught in several American universities, expressed his views this way: “We cannot remain neutral. We are linked to the United States and if things go well, we will remain allies, “In five years, my son will be of age for military service. I

have no objection to his serv«

ing and taking his chances, even if in war, if he is fighting for Nippon.

” » ” “FOR THE United Nations? No. For the United States? No. But if ‘his efforts would mean something to Japan under the colors of the United Nations, then he will fight.” These are realistic people. And they are preparing for tomorrow in a realistic way.

. No. 5—

> PAGE 2%

#4 #

up, equip and train her armies.

if she knows such action will be a benefit to her people.

ON THE WAGON—The chief drawback is boredom.

shaky ground that he was being tested for allergies, alcohol among them. Pure alcohol is a normal . constituent of the human system, even without drinking, and few scientists, except the Spanish and Span-

ish-American, believe wa can be allergic to it. ee .

The chief drawback to being on the wagon is boredom, and not only boredom . with not drinking. Everyone wants to know why you're not drinking, and though it may amuse you a few times to use the AA gag or something worse, you quickly

get tired Both of your feeble

humor and ‘the questions, ree peated ten thousand times. = u » s OLD HANDS at the game find it simplest either to stay away from parties entirely or to accept a drink without coms ment and carry it around the rest of the evening like the proverbial goof-off war-worker and his piece of pipe. That stops the questions,

Who needs to do anything about drinking? Problem drinkers, of course, How to find out if you're a problem drinker is the real problem. ® If you lose jobs (in the plure al) from overuse of alcohol, wives (again in the plural),

self-respect (this-is singular but ,.

enduring), then there's probably no doubt that you need to do something about your drinking. » EJ » JOBS, however; have been

kept by heavy drinking men. Wives have been less than

-honest about their réasons for

divorce. There are many reasons other than alcohol for loss of self-respect.

The recorded history of the human race is studded with cases of men who lived long, happy and - productive lives along with hard. drinking.

Hence, it’s well ‘not to get fear-

ful about the amount of your drinking, as such. But keep-a wary eye on the results of it, both on yourself and your immediate circle. And do something definite about it the moment reasonably credible

indications crop up that it may ~

be getting out of hand. Don’t wait for the real

* trouble.

-

comment. 1952, Te