Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 17 February 1952 — Page 19

the el Jase

9

xclse Tax 4 RE

CES |M-4427

TTI

1) )

Hi

th

ES YA ——————————— rm

Inside Indianapolis By Ed Sovola

IS. IT an alley or a street? The signs say, Susquehanna S8t., Court, Pearl, Miami, Scioto, Bird, Wabash Sts. Appearance and location leads one to murmur, alleys. In the mile square, we have thoroughfares, “through the middle of a square or block giving access to the rear of lots or buildings,” which is Webster's definition for alleys. Noah never saw them, . Been doing a little counting and poking around in our alley-streets. For something different, it's an interesting pastime. At the intersection of Bird and W, Court Sts. alleys running into Market and Washington Sts, and Meridian and Illinois Sts., 132 persons were counted in one hour, Fair amount of traffic for an alley ... street ,,. for a nonshopping thoroughfare. In one hour behind the Indianapolis Water Co. and the Hume-Mansur Building, 108 pedestrians used the E. Wabash and N, Scioto Sts. intersection. Surprising how many friends and acquaintances one meets off the beaten path, <& oS A THOUGHT which might not bé worth much envisioned display windows along the secondary streets. At least we might install refreshment windows where a person afflicted with thirst could refresh himself. After all, the alleys became streets because palates were dry in the 1890's. Before the turn of the century; there was a saloon on W, Court St. that irritated the temperance folks. A squabble developed while ‘business went on as usual and finally the Supreme Court of Indiana made a decision that kept the swinging doors from rusting.

~S, SCIOTO ST.—Behind our false facades, we have streets that should be alleys and aren't. Or are they?

It Happened Last Night

By Earl Wilson

NEW- YORK, Feb, 16—Suppose you're a r® porter, and your boss, the editor, notices you have the sniffles. : “Ethel Merman,” he says, cover it.” “Go cover her COLD!” you say. But you know how editors are. So pretty soon g there you are trying to find out about how expensive } her cold is. Because Broadway colds are just like § anybody else's colds except 7 that maybe they're more § costly in the case of stars who must be there for every performance—or the audience gets its money back. With me, it was somewhat different. I'd gone (snifflingly) to “Pal Joey” to ask 20-year-old Stage Manager Johnny Barry Ryan 3d if he'd keep working after Mar. 29 when he inherits $20 million to $40 million. “Yes, I'm interested in working for a salary,” confessed the grandson of the two great New York and Florida millionaires, Otto H. Kahn and Thomas Fortune Ryan. “There'll be enough that I'd never have to work. But I like the theater and want to produce shows. Maybe next year ...” His words (and my sniffles) were interrupted by Elaine Stritch who does a satiric strip tease in the show—although keeping her clothes on. “I got to rush over to ‘Call Me Madam,”” she informed stage Mgr. Johnny. “Ethel Merman’'s wheezing. They called me to stand by.”

2, oe oe ow

ETHEL breaks down so rarely that it would be a story; so I took some quick notes about Johnny Ryan starting out as third assistant

“has a cold. Go

Miss Merman

Americana By Robert C. Ruark

NEW YORK, Feb. 16—We would not call us a prude, particularly, nor even ultra- finicky in entertainment, but we bore pretty easy and right now we are bored with the nance-act that television is putting on in lieu of humor. I have never seen anything very funny about implied homogexuality, not even in the State Department, and on a TV screen it also fails, as the boys so coyly say, to carry me away. I was not, for instance, carried away with the last Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis show 1 saw, in which the boys finally wound up giggling winsomely and addressing each other By girls names. Mr. Lewis, as the distaff half" of the team, seemed to swish rather more frequently than not, and his mannerisms from time to time were 20 lacy as to lead one to wonder if TV was going to make a big thing of a female impersonation. I can stand an occasional simper, but draw the line at ruffled pantalettes. “» & »

THE FLIPPED wrist and the oh-thay-routine has just about the same position on television today that it used to occupy in the grimy days of the peel-house, when no burlesque skit was complete without a violently purple pansy act. It was pretty dumb fun even then, and suitable only for the intellect that finds ‘humor in cripples and idiots. I'm not the first critic to remark recently that Mr. Robert Hope, a good man and very often a funny man, has lately fed so much effeminancy into his performances that we are prone to wonder what he is proving. Mr. Hope ain’t lonesome, either. The sissy-pants cliches and the delicate gestures have become pretty stock stuff of recent. time. Maybe it's funny. ‘Maybe the kids

"like it, as they like other odd phenomena, such

as marijuana. I don’t. Ee Tee

A GREAT DEAL of the current crop of televised humor has caused me to wonder just what the producers have in mind, The comedy is almost invariably straight out of old grind-house skits, with basic emphasis on spitting in other _.people’s faces, spilling things on people, hitting " people with improbable objects, and heaping rather earthy indignity on people. ‘The funny Mr. 1Lewis, t'other night, derived humor from upbraiding his-on-stage mother for not getting «his rich partner's shirts clean enough. He had mother stashed away in the washing machine. It beats ‘me. If somebody will tell me what is funny about idiocy or homosexuality or spitting in ‘people's faces, I will shut up and sit quietly in the back row. But I always thought that gurgling, drool- » ing idiocy was rather tragic, as was a gandular oJ haopality ambiguity that failed to separate the girls from the boys. And as a sight agag,

J i oh

» 3

“alley-streets was

* vision of 7283d Burns 1901 , , .”

-sdporse' was singing beautifully. Miss Stritch, walit-

Streets-are Alleys And Vice-Versa

A City Planning Commission spokesman said the story that our alleys were made streets so

The Indianapolis Times

saloons could get licenses is as good as any after. he tried to find something more specific in bound volumes of City Council minutes. We put the blame on poor recording secretaries. s In the Attorney General's office .the blame for not finding the case that gave Indianapolis placed on a poor system of indexing. I did read a section of Nicholson's Law, commonly referred to as the Saloon Statute that “alleys sixteen and a half feet wide, paved with~ bricks, and without sidewalks, running at right angles through a city block, and intersecting each other at the center of sald block, are not: streets nor highways within the meaning of the pro.

That takes care of some of the taverns (we're getting modern: now) on alley-streets. You'll find narrow sidewalks in the vicinity, which, more often than not, have automobiles and trucks parked on then, It makes you wonder why it is permissible to park on the sidewalk on some downtown streets . while othérs you can't and to add insult to injury, everywhere you turn a parking meter is staring you in the face. . oo oo oS

JUST FOR the heck of it, at the intersection, quite busy, too, of Susquehanna and E. Court Sts, I went on a jaywalking jag. Back and forth I went. Can a’ cop give you a “ticket? Not very “well” even though it is in the mile square, where most of the. shooting is going on. The ordinance specifies a penalty for jaywalking ‘where traffic fs controlled by “traffic signals or by police officers or school guards against a red or stop or don't* walk signal.” What policeman would want to get hard-nosed in an alley-street anyway? A citizen could lead the officer by the-hand along W. Pearl St. across 8. Meridian St., into E. Pearl St. and the fabulous spot where picturesque S. Scioto St.” intersects. The area, without a doubt, is the biggest junk heap, eyesore in the city. - 8, Scioto St., from Washington to Pearl is blocked completely. Only a mountain goat could get through without impaling himself. Makes you wonder what firemen would do if a fire broke out in one of the buildings next to that particular section. What would the occupants, who had to use the fire escapes do? Jump into a pile of lumber and debris? The history of Indianapolis streets is full of chuckholes. In 1891, thinking men used the word “wretched” and sald streets were paved with “bowlders.” BP In wet weather they were rivers of mud and § during ‘dry spells they laughed. the dust off by saying it's “nothin’ but mud wid de juice squeezed out.” I guess a man should laugh off the “streets.” They're nothin’ but alleys with cars and trucks and a few sidewalks squeezed in.

Ethel Merman’s Sniffles Are News

stage manager and “running coffee” for the cast —and then bolted off to see Ethel collapse . . . to cover her cold. And now I was in a rear seat at “Call Me Madam” (still sniffling) and Ethel the work-

ing in the shadows for her to collapse, sat down beside me and with a nod at Ethel, said: “Sabotage!” “She’s very sick,” she added. ‘Then, listening, she said: “I should sing that good well!” AFTER Miss Merman finished the show, she told me she'd licked it and now all would be well. But knowing how Miss Stritch wanted to go on, she laughed her big robust laugh and told her: “Girl, 'm sorry I let you down!” Maybe Miss Stritch and I can arrange for Miss Merman to get a heavier cold next time Personally, I was so fascinated by Ethel that I forgot to ask her how she got rid of her sniffles. Mine I still have! But mine's ‘unimportant, commercially. Miss Merman’s is worth $40,000 to $50,000 a week in box office receipts . . . and thus $4000 or $3000 to her if she lets it get beyond control, That's why she takes care of herself when colds threaten. But I wonder What she does about them? Because ... well , .. pardon me... till I go find a, fresh handkerchief, > oo <& “HEY, My Nose Just Blew Off!” shouted a man on windy 51st St. the other night—and the Toots 8hor doorman chased the nose and found it under an auto. ’'Twas plastie, made. to cover a deformity. 'Twas also the first time the doorman had chased a nose. DJ we > BROADWAY DIALOGUE from Tony Pettito: “Joe had a terrible Frignt on his wedding day” “Yeah, I saw her.” ... That's Earl, brother.

He’s N ot Laughing Much at Television

spitting in the eye leaves something to be desired in entertainment, > oS 5 WE HAVE had, to date, a complete rehash of ‘the standard burlesque routine, even up to and including undue emphasis on the female chest. I will not knock this latter undue emphasis, since I believe the girls must have some sort of free expression in order to bare their brains, and Marie Wilson, to me, is much prettier than Arthur Godfrey. But I do not know as I can stand the comedy much longer, merely in order to squint at an occasional cleavage. There does not seem to be much humor outside of Miss Coca and Mr. Sid Caesar. The rest” of it sure, prattfall. Prattfall is a coarse term which means somebody else falls on his Francis while the other people laugh because they are not »falling, momentarily, on their Francises. This does not demand much in the way of imagination or dialog.

o. oe oe oe

AND SPEAKING of dialog reminds us that I am about caught up on televised gags concerning the inefficiency of the gag writer when a joke drops dead. That was ancient hat when the radio comics were doing it decades ago; and has gained nothing in effect by association with the camera. I am almost certain that nobody cares whether Mr. Skelton's script was written by Ms. Skelton or by the ghost of Oscar Wilde, and I ain't laughing fit to kill at that line about another script writer bit the dust. Come to. think of it, I ain’t laughing fit to kill at most of what I see these days on the magic screen, I was thinking about being publicly 1ll, which would be regarded as delicious humor in the highest TV circles.

Wishing the Dirt By Marguerite Smith

Q—How about using vermiculite for starting seeds? Would you mix it with the soil? Any other pointers. Marvon Burdelow, 8. High School Rd. :

A—Vermiculite is very good for starting seeds. There are three ways you might like to use it, Mix it with the soil in the seed bed, especially if your soil is heavy In texture and packs badly. Or use vermiculite alone. In this case you will have to feed the plants regularly with a complete liquid fertilizer. (Such as the soluble fertilizer powders sold under a variety of trade names. Follow instructions on package as analyses differ.) The third way is my own preference because it's the easiest. Put soil in the bottom of “your seed box, then cover with’ a layer of vermicultie depth depending on size of seeds you are sowing. I like to sow seeds on top of the soil, cover with the porous stuff, Plantlets get through it easily, send their roots quick-’ ly down into the soll, so need no fussing about with fertilizer. The loose layer on top of the {00 kina J £550 Sying out fast ait af ha sane te a in it Sisweages damping off, ’

= aE i

bo i

elolV |Z \zHelol Vids

A HAUNTING NC and the

" MAN AND HIS TeV

Hanscom teaches music,

New Band Huffs and Puffs On Tuesdays at Shortridge

By DAVE WATSON

THEY huff and puff and the notes ring out every Tuesday night at Shortridge High School. They are members of the new Adult Band and not even -the

boys of McNamara can outdo’

them in enthusiasm. By day they bank, they clerk, they write and hustle about the task of earning a living. Their nights are like those ‘of thousands of other Indianapolis families until Tuesday comes around. Then, at 7: :30 p. m., they settle down to an interest which has held them fast since: their high school days. Once again they are musicians. o »

THE Adult Band, sponsored by the Adult Education Division of the Indianapolis Publie Schools, is but two weeks old and its’ membership is hovering around the 65 mark. The band is not yet fully organized, but invitations to perform have already been received by Robert Shultz; adult education supervisor.

baridmaster at Shortridge. For many of those years he wondered what became of the mu-

For 20 years Mr, Shultz was

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1952 .

no band is complet

3, Robert Saxson

French Horn.

. Howard

too.

Many, he knew, were forced to lay their instruments aside when the diplomas were issued. This new venture is an attempt to put instruments back into the hands of those who grew up and found they no longer had an organization in which to play.

BUT THE band now in the makin is not restricted to w~thosesWho opce played in high school. Mr, Shultz said its ranks are open to other instrumentalists, too.

At its. head will be David Hughes, - nationally known in band circles. Shortridge Bandmaster James B. Calvert is acting as manager. A fresh approach is keynoting the band course. There will be no attempts to force anything on the class, Mr. Shultz sald. “The band will play what it wants to play, and it will play for the fun of it,” he declared. At the initial meeting prospective members elected committees to- work on possible performances, the played, recruiting and rehear-

"The combined committees will serve as an advisory “unit “to the adult education ag’

without

NOW FOLLOW Dave

music to be -

Adults Find They're Not § Too BUSY for ‘Music

ITS t ass

ALTO

AR ME Hughe fe ha Tg]

Deat

FOEVIRerIES

WF

puts

where band affairs are goncernsd. ” » -

THE SCHOOL system is furnishing many of the instruments to be used. Some band members will bring their own. One man, about 65, hasn't played an instrument in years, but bought a new one when he heard the band was to be formed.

Mr. Shultz said the class

‘runs the range of ages and includes amateurs and profes-

Bandmast

FINGERS

them to work

SPIRIT'S THE THING

GETHER NOW

CONCENTRATION

Meurer and Marilyn WE Tels TH

[V ITT unghi

-

_ganizational meeting, dropped

notes to administrators and made telephone calls to register enthusiasm and intention of

“Joining up” as soon as pos-

sible. | : There are about’ 35 - addi-

tional persons planning to at- -

tend, Mr. Shultz said. Now that initial obstacles"

‘sionals. Some ve mem~ bora, Shale to a the or a oi ». ~ ~ =.

Fool-Proof Bet Service Hits Legal Snag

GLENDALHE, Cal, Feb. 16 (UP)—George Seman, 28, direo~ tor of a supposedly fool-proof race bet messenger service, was - sought today on charges of bookmaking. - Investigators accepted} $30 in :

™\

8 : Hise : 2

1 E A

clients gave him “sealed

oe

gs 4 i]

8: I is B 2 at

™

Bp