Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 1 January 1952 — Page 13

tripe

1952 cnmmeminf

. _about

Low

"HE'S brand new, strong, big - (366 Rays) and before he's a second older, the New Year. is going id hear hat one little guy would" like to see*him 0. €n a - Certainty he ® should be welcomed. Welcome: He needs help. And’he can count on my shoulder “to the wheel if he'll provide a decent wheel, There are a great many things that I could wish for in 1952. All" of thé wishes can come true if enough work is done. The New Year needn't worry about me, * ‘The one thing he tan do is bring an‘end to this head-wag: Ring ‘and shoulder-shrugging that is going on. Also bring an end to derogatory remarks the government of the United States.

», ne DO oo .

I HATE ‘to hear ‘jokes thatTridicule W ashington and the men that are the representatives of the people's will. 1 hate to read about dishonesty, bribery, back- scratching, The smoke is a’ long way off and the entire picture is : so complicated, So wast, this citizen can't go dinto the details. He isn't smart enough, ‘lose enough, informed enough, All he knows is that he wanfs to go back to the days when he felt a thrill when he thought about the seat of his government. Personalities

didn’t matter, A United. States Senator was an—

august man. The President of the United States

vas the greatest—man under the star spangled anner.

PETTY, cheap politics festered on: city and and. county levels. That was the impression. InJustice worked on the bottom. The final recourse, the ultimate source where men. could * ‘secure the blessings of liberty” was. in ‘Washington-.in the hands of fellow Americans. A man could 100k to his government and feel a swelling pride. “He is a government man” was a tag of distinction. A government man could do no wrong, would do no wrong. * Among nations, the United States was a con-

It Happ ened Last Night By Earl Wilson

NEW YORK, Jan. 1—Let's hope that the Hest Laughs of ’52 won't. be as long on crookedness and corruption as they were this past year. A line by Comedian Herb Shriner typified the ’51 Laugh Chaff. “I promised my wife I'd even rob for her.” .Shriner said. “Trouble is, I never thought I'd like to work in Washington . . .” « I've been thinkin’ of joinin’ a Christmas club,” Shriner added. “but I'm afraid ' I wouldn't have time to attend the meetings.” Which just shows you that all the jokes weren't about shington. Dagmar took a rest from television for a few weekSI4HA the Dagnfar jokes that had been so plentiful also took a rest. But the other stars got

* plenty. of spoofing. “Milton Berle was in here to-

night,” Comedian Jack Carter said at the Copacabana, “but I hardly recognized him—he had men’s clothes on.” Fred Allen, who went abroad and reported - that, “the two principal industries of France are eating and shrugging.” came back and delivered one of the greatest monologues of our time about Jack Benny at a Friars’ testimonial. “He's the only violinist who makes you feel that the strings would sound better back in the cat,” said Fred.

9, +, ow oo oe

SAHD BOB HOPE: “First I did an hour and a half TV show. Then I did an hour. Now I'm doing a half-hour. What's NBC doing-—building me up for a station break?” Robert Q. Lewis, phoning for a dental appointment, found the dentist out. “I'll eall back,” ‘said Bob. “When will he be out again?” “A chrysanthemum by any other name would e easier to spell.” said our old friend Mr. Anony-

nous. “England is an island surrounded by hot ~vater,” reported the London Opinion. - Playwright “red F. Finkelhoffe said, “My lawyer is such a’

square, they could build a whole city around him.” “Sometimes a pinch of salt can be improved by iropping it in a glass of beer,” wrote the wit of Wichita, Charley Jones. “I met my wife at a travel bureau,” said iroucho Marx. “She was looking for ‘a vacation ind I was -a last resort.” Paulette Goddard ‘was juoted: “What every young girl should know—a ‘ich fellow.” .

COMEDIAN Jackie Gleason told of a strip‘easer who was so ungainly that audiences houted, “Put it ‘on! Put it on!” Harry -Hershfield contributed the one of the

Pull and Tug By Virginia MacPherson

HOLLYWOOD, Jan. 1-—Mama won't be the only one huffing and puffing into a girdle this year, a magazine publisher predicts. Pop's gonna squeeze his hulges into a corset, too. And you-can blame the Hollywood he-man for the’ whole thing, according to Leonard . Martin Fox, publisher of a string of magazines which includes one called “Corsets & Brassieres.” » “In the movies,” he explained. ‘girdles may soon be. more popular with men than face-lifting ls with actresses. I have noticed many actors who

looked like they were .wearing girdles.” LA

“or oe

E00 ow

MR. FOX says the number of girdles sold to men has been zooming upward in the past five years and he and the corset manufacturers expect 1951 to be a “bumper year.’ By this time next year, he’s willing to bet, male girdles in the U. S. will cover more than 20,00 miles—-stretched end to end. Corset-makers are spending millions to make the contraptions as painless as possible, Some

. w * £ _ ® Dishing the Dirt Q—We have recently moved to a place with many large trees. We want to Keep the trees and the naturalistic effect. What kind of plant‘ng would you suggest? - It would have to grow n shade, of course. Mrs. D, R., Trader's Point.

A-—This question comes in at regular, intervals. And it always remind me of the lovely naturalistic

planting the Sylvester Johnsons have around their .home at 4321 Washington Blvd. There’ redbud and dogwood, azaleas and rhododendron are star performers under the big- trees. Wild

A Marine squad ‘leader beckons Allied troops killed 200 Chiness Com

Inside Ind ianapolis i By Ed Sovola :

much of it savage dewequartey Ayling, f

He Lists Wishes For the New Year tinent and two oceans" bigger than the test: An American citizen in a foreign ‘land felt the power

and prestige of his government afd” walked without fear.

*. 2, ’, oe oo. ow

IF THE NEW. YEAR would" bring. about -a néw feeling of integrity ‘wherever it is heeded, that's all I ask. $x . When ‘a- man reads and hear$’so much abouf the shenanigans going on in Washington and throughout the country, -he begins to lose faith. Men are not perfect. but why should so much imeperfection creep in Where it can hurt the country

» the most?

What is a little man supposed to think when he sees how the big boys can finagle and finagle and keep on fidagling? Whom can he trust? What kind of a citizen does one become when he’ throws his hands into the air everytime he thinks of Washington?

» o oe a

‘RUNNING a government for the benefit of all citizens is difficult enough without hocus ‘pocus in the ranks. Investigations to ferret out the crooks make a guy wonder. How about spend- - ing that time investigating how to improve my lot, yours? I would hate to go through 1952 with the feeling that the only thing I can look up to is the flag. :1 think we all have a right to expect more. Young man, try to do something with the jokes, bitter crititism, loss of pride, suspicion, Bring with. you some “backbone, some of that stuff-the men who formed the Union had.

oo.

YOUNG MAN, bring with you some copies of George Washington's Farewell Address. Underline the sentence that advised posterity that “religign_ and morality lead to political prosperity.” They're printing a terrific amount of material for all sorts of causes and reasons in Washington. Surprise them with some penetrating American remarks, not gobbledygook. Bring some of what I ask, 1952, Bring it all if you can. I'll try to help in a small way by having faith that our way of life doesn’t ‘have to he spattered with mud. Just give me that ol thrill back in 1952.¢ I'll make it from there. Get to work, time is a-wastin’.

1951 Laugh Chafi Full of Corruption

man who told a doctor, “I've got a dime in my ear.” The doctor was incredulous, examined him, and sure enough—a dime was in his ear. “How long have you had this in there?” ask the doc. “Oh, a few weeks” “Well, Heavens, man, why didn't you come to me before?” . . . “I never needed the money before.” Joey Adams related that an artist fully-dressed model were - chatting when heard footsteps on the stair. “It's my gasped the artist. “Quick! Take your off.” Politicians were retiring all over the place cause of ill wealth,” but Fred Allen said: television because .of ill health. sick.” ‘Twas also Fred who said Tallulah Bankhead's voice sounded like “a fellow pulling his foot out of a bucket of yogurt. o

and his .they wife,” clothes “he“1 quit I made people

WHEN ‘Franchot Tone and Barbara Payton

-were battling—and when weren't they?—Noonan

and Marshall, at the Latin Quarter, their musicians as ‘the chestra-—No Tone.” The Hollywood Yes Man supposedly said. “The first 100 yeahs are the hardest.” Writer Seamen Jacobs reported a serious conditiom in the home of a famous ventriloquist. He talks in his sleep. This annoys his wife because she has to get out of bed and go into the next room to hear what he's saying.

introduced Barbara Pavton Or-

COMEDIAN Joe E. Lewis was buying shirts at Suka’s when a salesman proudly said, “Look at this shirt! Harry Richman gave me this shirt and I've been wearing it for 15 years.” Replied Joe: “Don’t you think it’s about time you should send it to the laundry?” It was Price Stabilizer Michael DiSalle who had the perfect answer when a skeptic told him, “I'm from Missouri.” Grinned Mike: “Every body I meet in Washington is from Missouri.” The Republicans said, “Washington couldn't tell a lie. Stalin can't tell the truth, and Truman can't ‘tell the difference.” And the Democrats replied with a line purported to come from Herbert Hoover: U. 8. Senate—till he makes it up.” A Taffy Tuttleish secretary was told by her boss, “Now there are two words I never want to hear you use. One is lousy, and the other is terrific.” After a pause, the secretary said, “Well, so what are the words?”’—That's Earl, brother.

Girdles for Papa Idea Catching On

firms are even bearing down hard on the “chic” angle. “Eventually you'll be able to buy them in any shade you want,” Mr. Fox explained. “The coming thing in girdles is co-ordination between underwear and outerwear.

“SOON POP can buy his girdle in the same department he buys a shirt in... or a suit . . . or his sox. That way he can make sure he matches—inside and out.” Mr. Fox can talk, He's a 28-year-old bean pole who" doesn’t . need whalebone to keep his 145 pounds- under control. But he says he'd wear it — if he needed it. “Why he embarrassed about tained.

it?” he main“Why shouldn't men wear girdles? They're

healthy.

“Men need proper abdominal support as much as. women do. Besides, a girdle slims you down and makes you look years younger.’

By Marguerite Smith

flowers carpet the wooded parts of their yard. You can even have wild orchids if you get really interested. = Or, for more spectacular flowers, raise tuberous begonias. Daylilies (hemerocallis) are heaven-sent for shady yards. The lemon daylilies fit into a woodsy setting by their tradition of having traveled with our great-grandmothers in almost every covered wagon going west. Even sun-loving plants can be managed if you will pot them up (fine for. terrace decoration) and move them, now “and then into suniy Spots for recuperation.

his men forward as they reconnoiter behind en rot dingo in’ Western Korea Lieder 3 in a nwo

LY piriods iad

You need to know,

ANNUAL GUIDE—

: TUESDAY, JANUARY 1,

Your Income

Here We Have First Two. Questions “That Any Tax Payer Must Answer

By RICHARD

A. MULLENS

Times Special Writer

Do 1 have to file a return

on my 1951 income at all?

1f I do, what form for reporting should I use?

These are obviously the

first two aentions any tax-

payer has to answer before hestarts filing a retur n.

The official instructions—which,

you should ve in order to file your return properly--state that “everyone who had $600 or more gross income in 1951 must file.” however, that gifts or non-taxable income such as veterans’ disability pensions should not be included in figuring gross income. This ‘may. surprise you, but’ even if- you earned something less than $600 from which a tax was withheld, you should file a return and get the tax back. If you don't do this you lose it.

That goes especially for stu-

"dents or others who worked part

time or in. Summer ‘during the

“Bob Taft has the best mind in the

year. And you can still ¢laim your dependents even though DARLING, NOW WE CAN | SPLIT QUR INCOME ON A JOINT RETURN. |

Happy New Year .

NOTHER year has gone

Looking over the editorials on the next page . .

‘eight in the Primer.

| page

EDITOR'S NOTE: This is the second of 13 ‘authoritative, easy-to-follow articles in NEA's 11th annual Income Tax Primer —expert advice for the average taxpayer on handling every item of his return with the least effort, greatest = “a ccuracy — and minimum payment. The author, Richard A. Mullens, is a ranking Washington “tax authority and a graduate of tle: same training course given Federal agents who scan your own return.

Mullens

Mr.

‘they file a return to get back the {tax withheld on_earnings of less {than $600%° a

A |

IF THERE is still a question on .what constitutes ‘gross income” wait for articles four to But most of vou know now whether or not you have to# file, Thus, we come to which of the three forms to use — the second most important problem of filing. Read the section beginning on two of the instruction pamphlet called, “How to Choose] Your Return.” This describes Form 1040A, Short Form 1040

and Long Form 1040. That sec-

tion may still leave questions. for

. From Us by.:A new one's ahead of us.” .all

written by Times department heads . . . . it's evident the

town prospered. Wa had an outstanding fry.

year for business and indus-

. » more money and more work.

Indianapolis women set a record in blood donations

for the Armed Forces . . .

a contribution that certainly

puts 1951 among the most outstanding years for women. We enjoyed an exciting year in sports and. opened up new fields of entertainment on television in this tewn. More new churches were built.

More new homes. . .

= Ld ”

more new industrial plants.

» " x

IT WAS a good year for almost everything but the

human spirit. Behind all the sparkle

of new things and exciting

events there was a deep tone of instability. We watched more of our boys march away to Korea and Europe. We saw more familiar names on the wounded, missing and killed in action lists. ‘We still asked the questions, why Korea, why this

killing, why this war? . . . -answer from Washington.

and we got no satisfactory

We turned more and more to our churches for spiritual aid and even there found insecurity . . . quarreling

among the faiths . . “idential appointment to the

We watched the shuldrona

. brought about by an unwise Pres-

Vatican. corruption boil over in

Washington and trickle down to> the state and probably

local levels. “Honor in public office.”

= n “"

We wondered what happened to the phrase,

WE SAW an increase in violent crimes, a decrease in nonviolent crimes, an increase in juvenile delinquency. We Yeaskel the question, what's happened to our kids, why

they going bad on us?

We were afraid to answer that one.

much to our own insecurity, lous bubble of unrestrained

It pointed too our own quest for that fabujoy, unlimited wealth . : . it

pointeditoo much to our own desire to escape responsibility and unpleasant problems. We followed through on the Kefauver Committee

probe and cracked down on gambling . . .

on paper, that is.

Gamblers are required to buy federal stamps to continue

in business.

This is no more than an admission that a

gambler is a gambler, but still no convictions were made

in 1951. We asked the question no satisfactory answer.

» » »

why and still have received

WE MADE loud noises about gambling in this town, which is not on a large scale, and at the same. time shrugged our shoulders over a new high in traffic deaths. Indianapolis is #till a killer city. The final figures are not in yet, but it's a sure bet we'll lead cities of our size

: in traffic deaths. “We're losing ‘the race

against death on our streets

.-and highways and for no good reason. - On the 6ther hand the good solid folks of tadianapolis gave more money to The Times Clothe-A-Child and other Christmas drives than in any other year. They freely came to the aid of fire victims, homeless.’ * children, amd other people in trouble.

. They gave their blood,

their tears; their sweat for

the boys in Korea and did very little complaining about it. + They are always there forming a solid backbone for the rest of Solmunty to cling to. ‘Thank God for all

of them., |

NINETEEN-FIFTY-ONE . sensationalism is gone.. Now. we

. the yeaftof flash, color, : ¢ look forward to a new

year with greater hope «La Our one aim being peace, real

Peace, Jin the world.

‘What is in store for us in 1952 no one knows, of

“course. sh - -

a «very iy Beppy 4 new unr $d.

‘ fis - ho

{$5000 last year. Fill out the at{tached form and it automatically

1952

apolis Times

PAGE 13

explain all about these deductions.)

| + No” go to the next question.

dividends, Withholding Statement? 1f .your answer is ‘Yes’

“No’-go to the next question.

dends and interest?

If you answer “Yes” go no further.

“No”

go to next question.

*Yes” If you answer “No

If answer is Form 1040. 1040A.

’"

"HERE'S HOW TO TELL WHICH FORM TO USE IF YOUR INCOME WAS LESS THAN $5000

(If you file-a joint return, include wife's income and deductions)

1. Do vou have deductions for contributions, YES NO interest, medical expenses, etc. which tetal more. than 109, of gross income? (Articles 9 and 10

If vour answer is “Yes” stop right here. You . should file on Long Form 1040, If answer is ’

; Pid vou have more than $100 income from interest or. wages not shown on a

' go no further. You should file on Short Form 1040. If answer is

3. Did you have any income besides wages, divi- YES NO

You . should file-on Short Form 1040. If answer is

4. Do you have any deductible travel expenses! (Fourth article explains travel deductions.) you should file on Short use Form

a EVERYONE MAKING OVER. ~~] $5000AYEARMUSTFILE

to file a return. Hewever, if any tax was withheld from- the $500, | file a return and the tax will be refunded to you. Q: Does the Collector's office charge for.giving tax. advice?« A. The Collector's office is sup= posed to answer your tax ques= tions without charge.

Q. My wife and I are living

YES NO

0 0]

those of you who-made less than the joint return.

tell you which return to use,

Those of you with Incomes over $5000 have no problem.

will

apart. May we file a joint return? A. Yes, so long as you were not The outstanding separated in 1951 by court order.

exception is when both husband pomemper, both of you must sign and wife have large incomes and!

capital losses are involved. This be - fully explained seventh article dealing in detail

|the return. Q My wife and I split up in April, 1951, and in January, 1952, we were divorced. May we file a

in the!

Yoii have to use Long Form With reporting capital gains and joint return? 1040. losses. : ; = A. Yes, because you.were not If ‘you -are married you have The third article tomorrow jegally separated or divorced in

deals with

to decide whether to file a joint or separate return. If there is any doubt about whether or not you are married in the eyes of the Bureau of Internal Revenue, the official instructions on page 3 make the rules clear. » . » but a few advantageous

isolated to -file

IN ALL cases it is

CAPITOL

What Do People

SAN FRANCISCO, Jan. 1--Scandalous go-ings-on in Washington and elsewhere in government are the No. 2 topic of gossip and speculation at the cross-roads of the nation. If ‘grass roots” people here are typical local gossip still holds top billing. “The cross-roads are the filling stations, the railroad depot, the butcher shop, the barber, the small storekeeper and the druggist. The people are worried and confused; and they are becoming disgusted. A few are angry. Or so report these listening posts. The people know about the mink coats and the home freezers, the free trips and free outings of their servants on the bounty of-ques-tionable characters, 4nd the tax scandals. They pay their taxes, and demand that others 40 So; that all be treated alike.

Recently a4 young policeman had to arrest two other policemen from a nearby city who were stealing building materials from a house under construction. Some of his fellow officers criticized him. Today this young officer said, mental wrong doing: “Right is right. People in public jobs must be above suspicion. They should set a good example for the rest of us, They should live up to their responsibilities. i

. Bo

of govern-

THE BARBER cutting his hair chimed in:

“Those internal revenue -people are put in to protect our money. If they don’t do it, they ought to be thrown in jail-—like a man who steals a loaf of bread. I ‘was four hours ‘late last January paying my taxes, Believe me, I got a penalty.”

“Justice for anvone should be

A BUTCHER: loopholes

justice for all. There are too many sor some people.”

GOT A HEADACHE?

the subject of claiming exampHons.

Tax Primer Q. & A.

I earned $500 in 1951 received $240 from the Veterans) Administration as payment. Must I file a return? | re- -marry in 1951. If you re-mar-A. No, vour taxable income was 'ried, then you can file a joint reonly $500 s0 you are not required turn with your present husband,

all-important 1951. Keep in mind, however, that each must include his income in the joint return and is liable for the whole tax. Q. My husband died in January, 1951. May I file a joint return? A. Yes, provided you did not

and

a disability |

By Frank Clarvoe

Think About It?

FILLING STATION OPERATOR: “There's too much laxity in government. Maybe it's lack of supervision at the highest levels. There are too many little people in big jobs. Truman's a good American, good intentions, probably oing his best, but he’s too loyal to the wrong peéple.”

" oe

“It's rotten politics and gotten people in big jobs. Folks around here are con fused. They're even apathetic, because they feel as individuals they can’t do anything, that: there's no solution right now, They're waiting for the proper time.’

“oe

DRUGGIST:

> BAKERY WAGON DRIVER: “It's hard to believe that all this stuff is true, but if it is, the whole bunch ought to be cleaned out.”

“HW

CLERGYMAN: “Human nature being what it is, a good cleanup and cleanout is needed now and then. That's what pevple are talking.” "oe ow "SMALL STORE OWNER. “People come in here and beef to me about it, but I got troubles of my own. Maybe the attitude of people generally is to blame. We don't take enough interest in government. Maybe we're too money mad.”

& * ow oe EN

STATION MASTER: “The ‘people wanfy a change—they don’t know how, or to what. The elections for President are too cut and dried. We ought to have more choice.” rode MILKMAN: “I work mighty hard to make a living and support a gang that's throwing money around. I'm up too early to talk to customers, but for my part, Truman was never fit for the job.” . - o> o> - BARTENDER: “Foo for ug, Bub.”

many bums woking

EW Y Noe :

By Frederick C. Othman

Cures for That old Hangover

WASHINGTON, Jan. 1—Thf is my first good deed for 1952. Bright of eye and steady of hand and feeling a little smug because I don't touch the nasty stuff, myself, I want to present my annual report on cures for that scourge of mankind, the hangover. Some of the cures, I fear, are worse than the disease, but I present them confidently because I have done my research in the National Press Club bar, which is frequented by experts on this interesting subject. They know. Prescription No. 1 ig an airplane ride.. Once up high, ask the stewardess for a whiff of oxygen. Said. to be an almost certain cure, You could get the same results from any doctor with an oxygen tank, but where ‘are ybu going to find a sawbones on New Year's Day who'll open up his shop to treat a hangover?

Do It Ahead of Time

MOST of the other formulae involve treatment before the hangover takes place, and only a man of strong mind can rememher to "medicate himself ahead of ‘time. One of my .chemists suggests the eating of several“pats-of butter the afternoon of the night before; another says drink a medium-size glass of olive oil.’ A leading distiller of my acquaintance swears by vitamin B:l1 in massive doses. He even ob‘tained from the U. 8. government a few years back:-a patent for hangoverless whisky containing vitamins. All set then to corner the market

in strong drink, he tangled with the alcohol |

tax unit, which said he'd either have to sell the stuff as. a Dewerage, or as a medcine:, It: dea. . ‘Some of my. spec ialists recommend. “beer on the niorning after. Others say it-should have a raw egg in it. One says eat a substantial:

-piece ‘of raw salt pork. Another claims only

sure cure is’ a- mixture of raw hamburger, salt, pepper. raw onions, and milk. > The boss bartender suggests a slug of creme.

a ‘menthe on rushed Kee. His assistant says

stale

milk and whisky, half and half, poured on ice is better. Their best customer claims five drops of ammonia in a cold bottle of cola turns the trick. His partner says warm sauerkraut juice is helpful. One of the old timers recommends a prairie ovster. This he defines AS.a mixture of cognac, vinegar, Worchestershire sauce, catsup and bit« ters, Drop an egg into this and swallow without breaking the yolk.

Serves You Right

TAKE A LONG, lukewarm bath, says one, Drink a*large glass of milk of magnesia, urges -another. Eat a large bowl of tHin soup. Drink salted buttermilk. Try-a glass of warm salt water. For breakfast have tomato juice with Tabasco sauce, 3 I could go on with more prescriptions, but just listing them is making me feel a little ill, And me in prime condition, too. If you're not and this dispatch has’ upset your stomach, it serves you right, Think of-all the:-fun you had-last night, while old tee-totaller Othman was homie with his television set, get« ting his woopla secondhand and gray.

1 mean you sufferers deserve to pay. Go ahead. Bite into that raw salt pork. : o - RING out the old, ring in the new, .. with

songs of joy and cheer... shelie all your worry and your care , . . for this is the New Year... join in the fun and celebrate . . . and leave behind a frown . -. «. paint smiles upon your face and then .". . commence to do the town... or “else sing songs of auld lang syne . . . with those

you love so well . , . and when the. stroke, of

‘midnight eomes , . . blow horns or ring a bell

« « . for you've béen chosen by the Lord . .. who ~ loves you very dear ... to be the oie wha: “has

the joy « con of f woeing this New Year,

. 2 J Ben * Burroughs. v

ON LONG FORM 104-04 -