Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 12 November 1951 — Page 13

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Inside Indianapolis By Ed Sovola 3

OH, give me a home, where the buffalo roam and the walls seldom shiver and shake. . , | AWWWO0000, -" f All apartment dwellers, those of you who have paper thin walls and neighbors who have escaped from the Olson and Johnson troupe and similar fan-making. groups, We must organize a vigilante

. committee. 3

We must band together and invest in a super apartment building that features soundproof walls and tenants who are dedicated to the proposition that nights were made for sleeping, nothing else. o oe oe CAN ANYONE match some of the experiences I've suffered? Let's put our heads together and quietly unburden ourselves, shall we? Speak softly. friend, I didn’t get much ‘sleep last night, We're rapidly approaching the season for small parties celebrating the arrival of Santa Claus, the decapitation of turkeys and promotions in toy departments. . SS

THE OTHER NIGHT I heard “Im dreaming of a White Christmas” for the first time, this season. Each year I tally the number of times I hear the Yuletide classic butchered and laid on the altar of Bacchus. ‘Last.year banshees defiled the song 42 times beginning Nov. 19 and ending Jan, 3. We're on our way to a new record this year, : "I firmly believe in the axiom that a man’s home is his castle. But I also believe that when these two and three-room castles adjoin one another, there is a moral responsibility to: respect the lord and master’s whims next door, down the hall, on the second floor, third, fourth. * % o PARTIES have a place in our society. I would be the last person to advocate a ban on gregarious living. However, when gregariousness blossoms at 3 in the morning, I'm ready to call the riot squad. I don’t know about you, but I find sleep difficult to woo Fe the radio is popping its tubes, furniture is Weing thrown about the room and female shrieks are cracking crystal, doors are being slammed and new recruits to debauchery receive welcome. oo» & oe THE TEST for classifying a rumpus is a pillow-on-the head. If sound penetrates through the mattress and the pillow, I say it's a whingding. After midnight, I say the management should throw the bums out. Often there are extenuating circumstances, to be sure. It has been my pleasure to have neighbors with an acute appreciation for the code of safe living in apartment buildings. They become victims of circumstances. Se <* FRIENDS, gho wouldn't dare open their yvaps where they hang their hats, drop in and proceed to flip lids with reckless abandon. Those of us who have tried to put a damper on persons who exude exuberance on arrival, know how difficult it is to stay within the limits of gracious living. Revelry isn’t the only cross one has to bear. I find the rantings and ravings of a husband and wife as odious as uninhibited fun-making.

It Ha By Earl Wilson

NEW YORK, Nov. 12-Li'1 ole New York's unusually sports conscious lately—yet some modern fathers don't want their sons to play football. ’ This reminds me of a true storv from Bert Lahr, the comedian. One reason for the sports interest, of course, is that Rocky Marciano toppled Joe Louis, and that Rocky and his attractive blond wife, Barbara, have been vacationing here, looking us over. But about these anti-football fathers: “Football's too commercial and dirty and there is too much chance of getting hurt,” they say. Personally, I have mo problem, for my son Slugger announced: “I wag kicked off the team.” wer He wasn’t; he was never on. He probably figures he'll get kicked off if he ever does get on. But do I want him in this legalized mayhem (as they used to call boxing)? The same people are squawking about boxIng, saying it should be abolished; that ey ery fighter winds up off his rocker. I'd hate to think so, for I've been out with Marciano and his wife. They're a sweet. naive, kindly couple. In their talk is a fear that Rocky, trying to become heavyweight King: might get hurt. We went to see “Stalag 17" together—last night they were at the Copacabana watching Carmen Miranda. Tennessee Ernie and Larry Storch in a great new show, ; “Wouldn't you like these seats” They're better than yours?” Rocky said at the show. That's humility I'll always remember. Rocky —only 5 feet 11 and 186 pounds—didn't look like a guy who could dethrone Joe Louis. “I don’t drink or smoke,” he said. “One leads to another.” “1 hope I never see him get knocked down." Barbara (wearing a new mink coat) told Toots Shor earlier. “Oh, sometimes a good punch’ll snap you out of a bad right.” Rocky tried to make light of it. “When that happens I'll drag you out of the ring!” she said. We talked of ex-fighter Joey Kaufman once fighting 9 rounds with his mind a blank—at least when he got in the shower afterward, he had no recollection of the fight—though he'd won it. Mrs. Marciano didn't enjoy that. “I don't look at half of any of his fights. said. “What do du do?” “Pray, don’t 1, hon?”

she

Fa QUEEN AND COURT—Illinois University

ppened Last Night

That Season As Here Again

JOY OF LIVING—A cliff dweller speaks against blossoming gregariousness at 3 in the morning——grrrrr. ‘

THERE is nothing quite so nerve-wracking as audible dpmestic strife. To wake up in the wee hours when all should be bliss in a marital sack, and then have to listen to threats and Profanity is enough to make one flee to the nearest monastery.

Then, of course, you have the neighbor who likes his music loud late at night and early in the morning. You have the neighbor who enjoys bursting his lungs in the bathroom. If you happen to be the type who has succumbed to a pattern of living, vou're usually blessed by the proximity of another fellow being with a patterq. Say, for example, you're teeth are brushed by 11 p. m, the clock is wound by 11:05 and the light is out by 11:10. At quarter after, your neighbor never fails to return.

*, *, 2 oe oe o>

FIRST, and it never fails, the lock sticks. After much rattling, the door is opened and then slammed shut. Then you listen to choice maledictions that curl the wallpaper. Some target practice with the wastepaper basket follows. A raucous telephone conversation for 15 minutes follows that. I aiso love my fellow men and women who cook strong cabbage, old rubber tires, strong

herbs and sauces for removing paints and varnishes. I could go on far into the night. It's 11

o'clock, though, and I have to brush my teeth. It wouldn't do not to be in bed when my neighbor comes in and starts kicking his bathroom to pieces. - Shall we organize?

Football Too Rough: Boxing Still Goes On

This brings me back belatedly to Bert Lahr's son, Herbert. “Well,” said the great comic now in “Two On the Aisle” and such a big hit in it, besides, “I wouldn't let him play football. He'd been sick. I'made him quit. “He had to go in for some other sport. “He got pretty good at it, too. In fact, he was runner-up to the champion at school. What sport? I thought I told you. Boxing!” e + FRANK SINATRA AND AVA GARDNER'S real honeymoon will be in England where Frankie goes shortly to appear at a tremendous benefit . Billy Rose is now. interested in “Donica.” (That's a Scandinavian cosmetic he and beautician Eve Wygod are investing in.)

Mel Torme’s tiffing with Martha Raye about .

the way she left his L. A. house after using it. “Threatens a $30,000 suit . . . Monte Irvin gets $10,000 to be good will ambassador for a beer. & &

GOOD RUMOR MAN: Irving Berlin's down in Miami house-hunting. He's also humming a new show. . . . Jimmy Durante paid the hospital bills of a dancer who tried suicide recently. . . . Irving Hoffman said it: “The difference between Carmen Miranda and the Copacabana chorus girls is that Carmen wears her grapefruit on her head.” . . . Harvey Stone calls that new show. “Top Bonanza.” . .. Exploiter Jack Goldstein's getting salutes for his job on “KonTiki.” EARL'S PEARLS... “1 ‘didn’t mind my husband saying grace at the dinner table,” a B'way wife told Jack Pearl, “but I objected to him talking about her in his sleep.” > dO» TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: Sinatra's married to Ava will become ‘Hi& Master's

Jack Pearl

“Now that Frank Gardner, ‘The Voice’ Voice.' "—Jackie Kelk. e > WISH I'D SAID THAT: “People who drink doubles usually see and talk the same way.”— Taffy Tuttle.

< < < “SHE'S AN ELECTRIFYING WOMAN.” Jack Carter commented about one smellebrity. “Every- «+» That's Earl,

thing she wears is charged.” brother.

fy al -

homecoming queen, Clarice Davis (center-rear) Ne-

gro Coed of Chicago reigned at the lllinois-lowa game Saturday. Court members are front, (left

to right) Pamela Porter,

Barbara Burnett, LaGrange, and rear row, (left

Chicago; Miss Davis; Joan Weber, Berwyn, lll, and

hicago; Marilyn North, Rockford,

, lll; Vieginia Polvin, Rock Island, Ill. to rightl, Norma Howard, Chicago; Lona Shapiro, orrine Ranney, Decatur, ne,

A ie Indianapolis Time

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1951

PAGE 13

_—

Woman's Case Against Man—

The Pot Calls T

By JANE WHITBREAD AND VIVIAN CADDEN HERE is no man who doesn’t know all about women. This means that he has absorbed all the cliches, nonsense, pat phrases, and anecdotes that comprise the female since Eve. He picks up his knowledge, secondhand,

from his father, other little boys, the comic hooks, and barbershop literature.

By the time he is married, he is well versed in the s up er cilious, condescendin g approachto the female of the species that is the hallmark of a real man in our cuiture. At an early age, he learns that the American male must blame women for all her deficiencies as well as for most of his own. He views with regret the fact that women are indispensable to his important procreative role, since it is a foregone conclusion that the world would run moreysmoothly with-

the male sex.

husband

“First of a ~ Series

occupied,

newspaper.

entertainment

ing the war.

TO WOMEN,

out. them. i ow tits, the square pegs trying to WOMEN ARE BLAMED for - 8¢t into the round holes. ¢ the state of the nation, for AR 8 =

juvenile delinquency, for the decline in our culture, and for stripping the country of dogwood. Their chief crime, however, consists simply of causing themselves, their husbands, and their children minor to major discomfort. This point of view is ABC to any male.

confides in her.

The favorite villain of the busy. Nineties was a- mustachioed table, alcoholic who drank up his earnings on Saturday night ant,

and left his poor wife and babe frostbitten and starving amid their Victorian gingerbread. He's still around, but today, as evervone knows, the wife's the culprit. She drove him to it. So deeply ingrained is the notion that women are the flies in the social ointment that many of them are tempted to believe it.

Waltz and Wine Forgotten—

ED'S NOTE: Men may cry “ouch” and women may say “Amen” when they read this remarkable explosion against

The two authors have one apiece children each. Both graduoated from Vassar where they in succession, editor's chair of the college Later both had public relations jobs in the

worked in Washington dur-

These chapters are taken from their book, THE INTELLIGENT MAN'S GUIDE just published by Henry Schuman, Inc.

If there are any maladjustments in the world, women are behind them. They are the mis-

LET'S LOOK AT Mrs. Groggle, for example. Her husband takes her to the movies once a week, makes love to her almost as often, falls asleep immediately after dinner, and never

If the children ask fim to fix the handle bars on a bike, he's He wolfs his food at the and while the accompanying noises are not pleasthey break an otherwise monotonous silence.

He leaves his clothes where they drop and berates his wife for squandering his money on new shees for the children. After 15 years of this, Mrs. Groggle becomes depressed. Not knowing where to turn, she writes the local love column. She gets an answer like this: Dear Mrs. Groggle:

and three

the

field and

From your letter it is clear to me that you are failing to make a happy, well-run, attractive home for your husband. Marriage is a two-way job, and for the woman particularly, it means sparing no effort to see the other point of view. Did you ever ask yourself whether your husband's coolness. stems from your own laxness in making yourself

he Kettle Black

"There's a woman problem in this country—but it's man-made."

attractive? If you will enclose a stamped envelope, I will be glad to send you absolutely free my booklet on How to Be [Fascinating Though Frazzled. As for his attitude toward the children, perhaps it is engendered by the fact that you are failing to raise them with the proper feeling of consideration for their father. Are you teaching them to be

Vienna, a City Once Bright and Gay,

PEs R at

VIENNA'S PEOPLE are shabbily-dressed.

of y . sa

Times Special HILADELPHIA, Nov. 12—Mary O'Connor has a very cheery signature—she makes a smiling, winking face out of the “0'C.” It's the signature of a happy woman. The fact that she's been bedridden for 14 years hasn't changed her disposition. $b MRS. O'CONNOR would be excused if she had turned into a sour, self-pitying person. She was a promising singer back in 1937. A native of Cleveland, she'd sung with the Cleveland Symphony Opera and in light operas in Cleveland. Then she slipped and fell on the ice. injured her spine and never walked again. Her singing .career was ended. She had three children to look after. She faced a lifetime of helplessness in bed. It was a prospect to unhinge ‘even the sunniest disposition, but it didn't stop Mary O'Connor, : She accépted: her handicap. Instead of a

. 3 -

VIENNA'S SENSITIVITY is offended by the gaudy, showy Red display hung on the "Burg."

3 She Cheers Up the Shut-ins

’ ike

“

Is Drab Now Under Four-Power Control

By JULIUS HUMI Times Special Writer VIENNA, Austria, Nov. 12—Once the capital of wine and music, Vienna is today living only on its memories. Tourists are the main source of income in this city of almost 2 million, which witnessed some of the heaviest fighting between Russian and Nazi troops as the war drew to its close. Most of the large prewar factories were either destroyed or else they are virtually shut-down because of four-power red tape and the shortage of raw materials.

2 = ® THE tourists who come to Vienfia to see some of the fabled gaiety and charm, leave disappointed, unless they know some Austrian family. Then they'll sample the true hospitality for which Vienna and the Viennese are famous. But those less fortunate find Vienna a drab gray city. The monotony of shabbily-dressed people is broken only by the Russians’ blue-and-red uniforms and the khaki and green worn by the U. 8S. British and French occupying troops. Most newcomers blame the occupation for the disappointing lack of ‘“genmiuetlicheit” (good fellowship) but Viennese despondency is traceable to deeper reasons,

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singing career, she turned two hobbies—art and poetry—into _full-time avocations, Her poems have appeared in newspapers and national magazines. Her careful, dainty pen-and-ink sketches and her paintings have been hung in many galleries and been published in periodicals. Today, Mary O'Connor is a happy and contented woman of 51. She has four grandchilaren. Her room in the. Philadelphia Home for Incurables fs a sunny, cheerful place. Across her bed is a specially-built rack, holding her typewriter and drawing board. * & »

FOUR TIMES a year, she puts out a little four-page paper called “One Tiny Candle.” This is a collection of poems and stories full of hope and encouragement, which she sends to shut-ins, hospitals and prisons. - "I have learned,” says Mrs. O'Connor, smiling" serenely -in her bed, “that doing things to make others happy has great rewards for the, one who takes the trouble.” = 4 ‘

‘3

Most Viennese hear little resentthent against any of the four occupying powers as such. They would like to see the Russians'go home but they would also like to see the western powers go home. They have politely named two of the city’s best known squares “Roosevelt Platz” and “Stalin. Platz.” y = = » SOME sensitive Vieennese, and most foreign tourists, are

offended by the gaudy red stars ;

and the «showy Stalin and Lenin down upon the from most of palaces occupied by Army. The “Burg.” or Castle of Vienna, in which gaily-dressed soldiers and their ladies waltzed through the nights be fore World War I, is headquarters of the Russian Army in Vienna. Mo#kt Viennese give it a wide berth to avoid running into the stiff Russiamr patrols walking across the oncebeautiful Belvedere gardens facing the castle, or to avoid looking at the unsmiling faces

portraits of which look sleepy city the beautiful the Red

of Stalin and Lenin staring from the ancient and sedate building.

= = = TO FIND SOME of this city's charm, a tourist has to leave the inner city, which is controlled in turn by the four powers, and spend an afternoon in the Prater, sow in the Rus-

[;

VIENNA'S BEAUTY still exists, physically at least.

friendly, self-reliant, mannerly and thoughtful to the man you love? I have every faith in your marriage, Mrs. Groggle. If you want it to succeed, it will, Sincerely LOULABELLE CARSTAIRS.

= - ® WHEREVER Mrs. Groggle goes for advice, the answer is the same. It's up to Mrs, Groggle to change. It's up to her to work out this problem that lies essentially within herself, She must make the compromise. No one says to her: “Mrs. Groggle, your husband, like a great many American men, is no prize. The American man could stand a little repair work, if bt a complete overhauling. Someone should examine the impact of his attitudes, habits, prejudices, and aections on his wife, There's no use pretending: You will never be happy unless we can get to the real root of the trouble—Groggle himself.” In these chapters we propose to tackle Groggle. Unless his so-called knowledge of women can be broadened, there is no hope for any improvement in family relations in this country. Women have been tinkering with themselves long enough— trying self improvement, selfeducation, self-abasement and patent medicines, in an effort to hold the institution of marriage together. It can’t be done. = = = SOMEONE has to realize that there’s another side of the penny, and it's not Abe Lincoln. It’s anybody's husband. It's the stronger sex. While everyone's been deep in the woman problem, men have been perfecting -a set of outlooks, points of view and behavior patterns that make the so-called neurotic housewife iook like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. There is a “woman problem” in this country, but it’s man-

made. ; ’ Tomorrow: The Man of the House.

sian zone. But here, too, the presence of troops may spoil the enjoyment of the pleasant amusement park. The Schoenbrunn palace and garden in the British zone, once the residence of Emperor Francis Joseph and until recently headquarters of the British Army, is a favorite with Viennese housewives taking their children for an afternoon in the park. ’ But the best way of spending a real Viennese afternoon is in one of the many coffee houses which line the main streets, especially the famous Ringstrasse which runs around the inner city. Here for about 30 shillings ($1.20), the delicious pastries, “caffe mit schlag” (coffee with whipped cream), and the melodious Viennese waltzes played by aging musicians will recapture the atmosphere of the Vienna of 50 years ago.

= = =

TO THE HARD-TOILING Viennese, however, the problem is not whether times are as pleasant now as they once were.

They would like the Big Four to } get together, sign a workable ‘ peace treaty and then go home i for good. They feel that once § left alone, they can get back ] some of this city’s prosperity and the charm will follow automatically.

Oe d