Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 28 October 1951 — Page 25

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1] Inside Indianapoli

. By Ed Sovola bi

IF AT first you don't succeed,’ try, try, again, Try again in everything except When you're try: ing to explain baseball, football and bagsetball to a Britisher. i ; Toes In all fairness to our British cousins, they can stop trying to explain cricket, We just dort see eye to eye. Sybil Barbasch, British-born book salesman at the Wm. H. Block Co., will verify that statement. I ran into Sybil around a display promoting “Monday Follows Tuesday.” Miss Sybil, with her beautiful English accent showing, was surprised to learn she was talking to a real, live author. . We talked of many things and-1 gave her a fill-in on how England was this- summer Sybil was disappointed that 1

didn't hometown of Manchester, which she hasn't seen for two years. » Sybil likes America jolly well, and confided that every day she feels guilty when she eats and thinks of the rationing Britishers have to put with, a

visit her

WE FINALLY got around to cricket. Svbil's eves brightened for ‘a moment and then be ame wistful. She looked into space, leaned on a display table, knocked a couplé of books over and whispered “Oh, cricket is wonderful. ‘How I would love to it on the village green again on a beautiful

§-

' ‘ . * Ta Mr,

Sybil thinks’ the hardwdod game is a * pip. She has seen many high school games and thinks it would be fun to play.

° *, o oe oe ow

SYBIL UNDERSTANDS when the boys shoot the ball at the basket, but she doesn't understand what leads up .to. the great amount of dashing about. Furthermore, it perplexes the young lady when a boy shoots a free throw, Sybil says, “free tries.” Why -.can't they have a contest see which boy is the most accurate without “bustling about?”

We discussed the competitive angle where one team is on the offensive and the other on ‘the defensive., There is a goal or basket, and after certain conditions are fulfilled, the scoring team receives points. At the end of a specified time, the team with the most number of points wins, “I don't understand.” We tried football. Sybil has witnessed Rugby Association ball where the use of body contact is ‘prohibited. Our- type of football sends shivers up and down her spine, The bumping and tackling and piling doesn't make sense to her. . If ane team wishes to advance the ball to the other team’s goal line, she asks, why must they

begat themselves “black and blue to do it? She asks a good question, Come to think of it I

don’t know why. “What don't you understand about cricket?” My question was simple. What is the purpadse of the game? Two men with bats stand in front of wickets and tap the ball all afternoon. The bowler, or pitcher, tries to knock a wicket over, the batsman tries to keep the bowler from hitting

day and ‘watch the players in white flannels. So the wicket, and they go on in this fashion for relaxing, so restful.” days. “What's wrong with baseball?” T asked. "At : Wow Victory Field you can lean back, drink a beer. SYBIL, bless her, tried harder than several watch the Indians.” : Englishmen did in Cambridge last summer. But “The rig-outs (unifexms) are so ugly the :

seatx are terribly hard and don’t understand why a batsman isn't allowed tn hit the hall hefore he iz disqualified.”

The statement

the question of how a batter can tap a hall for

~ an hour and nat fCOre A run remaing to

answered. It requires skill to do that. The howler

took a hit of figuring. Miss iS Worn jo a frazzie, nine teammates sit on a Sybil was speaking of a strikenut I explained bench, nine fielders sun themselves. That I un “Why go te so much trouble making the hats- derstand

man miss the ball when the abject af the Kame is to strike the ball?” Syhil aged. “Also desr me. why dn the spectatars shout =0'" “What about baskethall?”

It Happened Last Night

By Earl Wilson

«NEW YORK, Oct. 27- Jimmy Durante, who's absent-minded, forgot something the other das & TV rehearsal date with Margaret Truman. Reminded of it by Writer Jackie Barnett, Jimmy shouted, “I knew dat I had a date wit’ somebody today!” : oo o“

What's the paint “You Americans are priceless Oh”? Non hits

g0ap.

no ‘rung, one errnr. nn

ain nn

Jimmy Durante Forgets a Date

star whe lived luxuriously, hut finally went broke, left with nothing but her garbage disposal unit. So ndw she's doing well in Hollywnod—taking in garbage. Re

JACKIE GLEASON,; the comedian, loses two pounds a day on his diet. “Imagine me on that

BOMBSHELL: The heat's on Wm. O'Dwyer or, ,t3ld Frank Sinatra. “In one week, I'd he for sure now. Dist. Atty. McDonald peppered the =~ & Em. city the other day summoning bank, business and > ! insurance records—--tn learn how much the ex- HUSBAND'S - LAMENT: fhe wax demu: Mayor may have been worth and pensive But soon she changed and how 5 & =» No longer i= =he pensive . She's ust es y . 2 pensive now Hallie Philips OUR FAVORITE wench, Tallulah while ae showing Agen! Helen Straus her estate, wax , : asked if she didn’t have a garden . EARL'S PEARLS Martha Rave wande Certainly DOLLING caid Tallulah. and Whether splitting the atom wag sich a Wize crac showed “Aff her two crops. chives, for the vichyv- after all «nize. and mint. for the ope > > “= * & a THE MIDNIGHT EARL Though Bil - Rose has heen reported warth £10 mi an. attor MINS MARY COLLINS, Beaumont, Tex. 's. gift neys expect Eleanor Holm to get onlv a moder. Bea ut winner of 83 contexts and titles in- + : . ¢ . a ray ~ : ate settlement certainly noth. ling "Mists New York City __ announces she'll ing lke a million. . *F no more competitions. i hardly The "21" Crowd Wonders tJ her to Win, anyway While contin- handsome Mac Kriendler and

model and act, she'll prav that she strikes

I coll gt : model! Rita Lynch mav marry ISmear \ Texas well she's made & ™ [Sr nh « a Xa q The new B'way hot spot is ~ pstment o 13 . T Tr HX ; 5 Sugar Hill where Joe® louis v . made reservations for 20 afte: YZ TAYLOR and Montgomery. Clift are 80 his fight with Marciano out\ their friendship. Press agents an- Nancy Thompson's gett ned they had a date at the Pulace to hear married soon Jurie Valli, dy Garland. . .¢ Berle's Girl is publicist Ruth bookkeeper in a 5th Av. linCosgrove (again Bob Taft wants John > zerie store seven months ago. grove (aga ; alt ¥anls Jon Miss Vali} _*," = co oa M. Hamilton, ex-Landon campaign chief, to now has out an RCA record,

1d the GOP . . . Charles Taft, Bob's brother, may run for Governor of Ohio, . . . Ginger Rogers

“Always, Always,” and “Now, Now, Now.”

& o> o> is doing better than her show's ndtices. She ‘ : landed a forthcoming ILife cover. And Critic GOOD RUMOR MAN: Often reported bust-

Atkinson conversationally called her “a de-

lectable dish.” n : : turning from Europe together . Buff Cobb and Srey ‘Mike Wallace: first Mr’ and Mrs. on colop TV HEDY LAMARR'S hosom’ se -shifted over to black-and-white .:Phil Silvers

‘posed At. the Ritz Thrift Shap 5

ing. Alan Curtis and wife Betty Dodére. are. re-

~"MBaseball’s Not - =~ +. Simple to Sybil

‘ -

‘Tree

y » : Tear ED aS np Of ter Mago ram Lr ym baught. MEEswmdiss Tings smal FTOSSAS one of the heMesipeamaians when MIR AEST . ¥ Xarana AMER Tate lon a b hit ond of her evening gowns equinned - . : : £ ” Fienz > 1g nd neelad Ans 'n rihle, terrifle with built falsie 1 R to = a ' ; ma Aldo Togliatti, son of the Italian Comm» \ a \ 1 o> & & leader FLSA MAXWELL wag to partrav' Marv. Mar . fin at the ANTA party in Elsa's hoannr Frida TODAY'S REST LAUGH She's as pret Fisa wears an oversized =ailar suit, (Over-zized ax =» pirture- bv Picassa Ed Herlihy +o for Elsa? Wait a minute now! Sb A > > 0» Ses . & ; : JANIS PAIGE figured it ou there are only Frervhody knows ahant Hallvywand's wealth. two kinds of men. the quick —and the wed

There was, so goes the story, a wealthy woman

Americana By Robert €. Ruark

That's Earl, brother,

Why Put the Rite On the GI Retreads? J

NEW YORK. Oct. '27--We are back again on and des ded that education was more important the right of the Armed Forces to reach out and than the pursuit of middle:aged happiness by

snatch a retread--retread being, a man who's

been te-war and isn't purposely hooked up with

an active reserve outfit —into military bondage

malaria at Guadalcanal and who in general havi fit and bled and, more important put in time in a global war that held the fate of civilizatio 'n the balance. We are due for a breather, u: old orocks, from the last one. We are due fo let the young bucks carry the ball, and instead they are carrying hooks fir the pretty junior miss who «its In the sociology lecture

& BEFORE the house falls on me, lemme hasten to say that this ain't personal. I am one of the few guys who found out that it was possible to resign a commission in the Navy before the Navy quit allowing resignations, I am the owner of a shart and feeble arm (jeep, Solomon "Islands 1944) and a hum leg (overseas iron decks and dreary islands, 1842 5V-J Day) and I couldn't qualify for the girl guldes physically, They hollered at us once and we went. Now they are hollering again, but it isn't the majority of youngsters heeding the holler. They are ferking back the old blues. and the ald hluet don't need it—not when there are lotzx and lots of youngsters who have not yet learned the delights of fungus and shrapnel. The young 'uns are being lanket-deferred because somebody got smobbigh 3 : |

‘urloughing some

guve who earned a right to rest

. . R . oo oh oe " s

EVEN the regular military i$ more considerate g

while allowing the voung hopefuls to peruse alge- of it& alumni-than the administrative forces that bra and coeds in an exempt currently regulate the snatch-back of civilian vetstatus a rans. I notice Glenn Davis still plavs feothall [ sort of challenge the con for a professional team. along with seversl stitutionality of. wringing a hakers'-dozen of his military academy buddies man through one war. and then Davis put in h Y.three years post-war service keeping him on the hook for fter spending a quiet war | Ving ball West any emergency which may be Point.’ So he plays pro football now, him that we declared by a politician. The educated as a professional officer. and they’ ahKorean thing today by our own tolve him of duty to his country in what we now President's utterance is not a regard as a time of emergency war, It is a “police action,” It Choa was nof Initiated as a defensive measure in the true sense. It BUT I KNOW a civvy lad who went onto the was claimed to be a ‘preven beack at Salerno, which was rugged picnicking tive" war, a war of deterrence. and who is now suspending activity to go back as 1 First Looi I know another one-—an amateur Right or wrong, my government, but aptain of Dr with three years ducking iron vou've just got to elaim some amnesty for tl for whom civilian cops were sent when he just Jeary gents who stormed, Salerno and got th

Appened to leave town on a vacation he earned. hey didn't even bother to check that he had een retired an permanent disability. Cops came p in a prowl car and beat on his mother's door. I see that the Navy, which never bothered to ell you that you weren't out, but only zippered, is tennis player named Trabert so he can play for the Davis Cup, length of, leave more or less indefinite. What sort of damned nonsense is this, when half the guys I used to know are back in the moldered old blues on active duty? If they need a friend I have in a bank so bad they got to disrupt his career again, what sort of stupid Insolence furloughs a tennis player”

5 . . i OS a i.

US OLD WAR horses are selfish. We are just elfish enough not to care a crack about the ne vessity of educating the new generation. All we Know is that we were voung once and thev interrupted us plenty. from our youth and our bidding careers and sprouting families. Let ‘em go interrupt somehody else at the moment, and leave us alone notwithstanding the Mama lohby and the educational lobby and all the other lahbles.

We been there, bud. Let somebody else gn now, until the situation gets desperate enough to demand maximum effort from all hands, ~ +

BEFORE—How many leaves are there on this tree? Who cares? The Columbus Citizen cared. They had an ax out for Times

oe Ed Sovola.

7 id

# -

he Indian

olis Times |

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 28, 1951 _ .

. PAGE 2%

Spare That Woodman!

A Times Columnist's Integrity Is Questioned, And a Mobile Bureaucracy Makes The Charges

THE ASSEMBLY—Ed Sovola counted leaves by himself. Columbus citizens made a production of it. Here are those who had a hand in it—technical adviser, general director, aerial supervisors

and counters.

COUNT KEEPERS—A staff of accountants and such kept tab on the leaves as they were pulled from the tree. Two adding machines aided them in‘this research task.

‘A Columbus, 0. Pape

Er (From NScripps-Howard Newspaper

A VITAL PIECE of mis-

Information concerning one of Gods most beautiful creations, the noble {tree hag been spiked A task force Columbu nembers counted n a tree vesterda eaf as t VAS counte Twe five ersons t Kk e ~ he tools hn now how of modern

job was done

utes

vola in hiz ho “Wel ha and’ 1 4 something about Waien I counted each b etv-blank leaf on each hilar

etyv-blank branch on a Norway

maple, 8 wire association sent the result around the country and dubbed me “the who

By ED SOVOLA MY NORWAY MAPLE

EE Tc < TRA vcd yy #0 th Catymbiis Citizen a

had 354,563 leaves. The leaves I counted have fallen,

the count stands and will stand,

The figures James Crossley managing editor of The Colum bus Citizen, gives, in his at tempt to debunk me, are shock ing at first glance Mr. Crossley organized a task force of 25. Columbus Citizen taff members along the lines developed by the Army, the bureaus in Washington and big business” and counted 11,321 leaves on a Norway: maple in. Franklin

Park in Columbus, How handicapped can you get? The Citizen staff madé& two

are what ar esentment

= ” » “THE JOB GAVE ME

i =satisfa gays Sovola. “If anvone aske me how. man PAV at tree | 1 ar € S eral people walked 8 I e Wi 4 le e here” Sovola counter, i ned mse er top bran of h ] he wunied th ef . e re WwW g ’ d i he PRIS Ww ¥ 112 3 £ husines A hle of orga

drafted and cir

those whn

were tn take Each individual was screened classified, memoed and briefed The operation - was named

+ 1

Kreat blunders, as .far as 1 oncerned. First, they used government nthods in count

ng and second, they picked the wrong tinle of the year to count leaves on a tree. It would be most interesting to find out how many leaves have fallen off Mr. Crosslev's tree. My count was taken in Tuly,, the luxuriant part of the season, and- TI wasn't hered with tables. of organiza tion, technycal divisions ommittees and ground communication

encum

super air to

VisOry (

»” - » FURTHERMORE, Mr. Cros. gley's methods. of counting, stripping ‘each leaf and leaving

the maple “as hare as Mnther _

Huhbard's cupboard,” indicates a complete lack of appreciation for nature's beauty,

r Shouts

culated among

. 2034 8 or ani tarmaed Farce One = = x 3 THIS 1S THE WAY the job 3s done It was organized into four d visions. The Aerial Division was in charge of making the actual count of the leaves, picking prevent, scientif- ) counting it

iders were used. counter” reached reported his Aerial

were loe

Supervisory ated tree on a

repair

one

side of the

truck of the tvpe used to trafic ghts The Aerial Supervisors were

ipped with walkie-talkie and elementary crew two

ported the totals y the ground Division

the = ground

group. was equipped with an adding machine and operator. A standby machine’ and opertor also were provided in case of a breakdown from Above were received by walkie talkie and relaved y

Totals to the operhe Ground Division wag also

“ladder collectors

holders

who

moved

the leaves to a central” Bile Division Three was the Trans rat nn Division. in charge equipment and getting the tas) arce to the scene, one of the «CIty 8 parks, ‘It alzo had re sponsibility for maneuvering the one piece of mobile equi;

‘And Our Ed Shouts Right Back

His action should be a less

to us

and graphically illus trates what chaos results whe: government methods are used They start out to do a job. The organization is top-heavy. They strip ‘a tree of its foliage and proceed to point an accusing finger at a little man.

all

I may have to go to Columbus and stick all those leaves

hack with Scotch tape, as I did last fall whn the pretty falling. I stand. unmoved by news from Columbus Could it be that the Buckeyes are mad about what happener in Columbus last Saturday? What da they want to prove, that Ohioans can count be. yond 10?

her o leaves were unshaken the

Lie’ At O

RESEARCHERS—Risking their necks on ladders, Columbus people pluck the leaves from the trees, counting—20,307, 20,308, 20,309, 20,310, 20,311, 20,312, 20,313 and so on.

« x vt ic ; plati I our was made up of

igsion F

technical

advisors. These were botanists and a city park repre-

sentative. =» LJ = THE JOB was done quickly and without mishap. There was not one case of a fall or a stocking runner, though a congiderthe feminine members of the staff turned out in nylons and high heels. Thesdeaves were stripped carefully to prevent damage to the Much of the efficiency w due to the presence of one man who had previous experien picking oranges in Florida The Citizen claims firsts and world records with its feat,

able portion of

tree.

as ce In 1

saveral

probably was rgest number of humans ever engaged in counting the leaves of

the la

Ed Sovola

ere isn cone ane A ee oh Wh Ea" tree™ 1%

r= the feet task® It

time

Was elasped time for this the leaves were counted and picked It first time mankind's fund or organizational knowledge and technical skill were brought to bear on this question of the number of leaves on a tree. The Columbus Citizen Task Force will be kept intact for further use. It will be mobilized from time to-time, if necessary, to stamp out careless handling of fact figure as represented in Sovola’'s book.

was shortest elapsed

at the same time. was the

The leaves will be packaged and mailed to Sovola for his

( by an office boy. All those taking part in the leaf count had been thoroughly screened and had taken a loy-

alty oath to The Columbus Citiren. w go 1¥ J J

AFTER—Tha free, having given its all for Science, stands In

naked splender,