Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 28 September 1951 — Page 23

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‘Enside Indianapolis

"understood by the mind.

. do with it. Jimmy Durante

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By Ed Sovola

THE ANNUAL (can't stand more than one) visit to the Marion County * Courthouse proved educational. Learned a. few things about’ the Intangible Tax Division.

Had no real business with the

7 intangible tax people. In fact, | ESSeessaee—

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that can’t be touched or readily =

didn't bother me. I've learned : long ago that those who are engaged in applying and collecting and figuring taxes always have a = reason for being in business, =40. The same old sign warning ~~ that “All persons caught loitering in this part of the building will be subject to arrest” hit me in the eyes. Why anyone would want to loitér-in that decrepit disgrace to Indianapolis is beyond me.

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BEFORE STUMBLING into the Intangible Tax Division I saw the same broom closets wide open, piles of broken furniture stacked in corners, janitors’ fifthy sinks, 39 water jugs sitting in a corridor, and the same chaotic appearance of offices I saw a year ago. One of these fine days a support, the key one, is going to buckle and all we will have will be a pile of rubble. That's why I never enter the building on a windy day. Anyway, the Intangible Tax Division sign came into view and irresistible force guided me into the office. An old gentleman, who spoke in a stage whisper, greeted me as affably as you could expect to be greeted by a tax man, which isn’t saying much, He seemed surprised to hear the question. He probably doesn’t have many loafers come in and show interest in his department. 1 was talking to

the intangible appraiser. It was with reluctance

he told me his title, He preferred to keep his name a secret.

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IT WASN'T LONG before “intangible” began to take on meaning. The law covering intangibles was passed Feb, 28, 1933. For a moment I thought sure somewhere over the years I might have qualified to pay the tax. Frightened me half to death. The General Intangibles Act covers a tremen-

It Happened Last Night

By Earl Wilson

NEW YORK, Sept. 28-1 phoned Eddie Cantor in Hollywood and called him a louse for betraying his old home town. “You so-and-so!” I said. “Leading the movement to take TV away from New York. “Wait'll I swallow this chopped liver Ida's

feeding me,” Eddie gurgled. “It's going to make for better television!” “You New Yorkers,” he continued, “have a mistaken idea that we'll get fat and lazy in this climate. “Climate hasn't anything to

couldn’t do a bad show in South Africa,” Eddie said. “I hope you enjoy the smog," I replied bitterly. “Smog! I am sure this whole year 1 will never trudge through snow and sleet to the studio.” That made me mad, for if there's anybody who is first to defend New York climate, it’s not me. “I understand you'll not leave us a lick of television,” 1 said. “Oh, no! But 75 per cent of all radio and television will emanate from Hollywood in a year.” : “Oh, how generous!” I wasn't able to control my rancor. “Well, I'll bet we keep Milton Berle.” “I believe,” said Eddie, “that Berle will find he should do 25 per cent of his shows here.

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«] ALSO BELIEVE the technicians here are as good ifi not better than in New York because TV is a picture on a screen. “When I did my first show in NY this year, they brought a Hollywood man in to direct it— Jim Jordan, the son of Fibber McGee and Molly. “If they don’t need Hollywood help, why did they get some?” “Anyway, we'll keep Godfrey!” I snapped. “Berle and Godfrey! I guess they prefer New York's smarter-type audiences.” “I don’t believe it!” said Eddie. “Who worries about studio audiences anyway? In one of my shows before an audience I was hidden behind the cameras.” : There wasn't much nasty left to say to this guy who does the first west-to-east commercial show—the Comedy ‘Hour—this Sunday on NBC. So I sneered, “I suppose you miss your old California swimming pool when you're in New York?” “I haven't even got one. I live in an apartment.”

Mr. Cantor

Americana By Robert C. Ruark

NEW YORK, Sept. 28—The New York Yankeés, an aggregation of creaky old men and raw young recruits—of whom I am not unfond —seem to have proven once more the old adage about guts being necessary to the man, the country or the world.: As these pearls were strung the Yanks had consolidated a late-blooming lead of = three games, and you know as well as

pennant but knock off the series as well. Altogether I would venture that the Yankees, during the 2 years I have watched them, are the best personification of the American success story. When = they lose a leader they miraculously come up with another firebrand, and when called on in the. clutch, some bleary old castoff arises miraculously to the need for heroism and provides same.

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CLASS IS a word that is loosely used. but there has never been a substitute for it, in war, business or sport. The Yanks have nearly always typified the same sort of rise-to-the-occasion that our young guys have shown, under adver sity, from Valley Forge to Korea. They can come in with too little, much too late, and after they have adjusted their ears, stride home on their hind legs with their chins stuck. out real proud. The dream teams go great out front, with the dream pitching from the Clevelands and the dream hitters from the Bostons, and I keep remembering back about the dream teams the Germans and the Japs had compiled-—and how they always seemed to fold in the élutch when the men start separating from the youths,

alien

8

ae i . Gets Wig Eyeful

of Intangible Tax

dous amount of territory. Happily, I mean it, noth-

ing in the form of “promissory ‘notes, stocks in: foreign corporations, bonds, debentures, final‘judg-

ments. from their date of finality, postal savings , certificates, excepting postal savings bonds, trading accounts with brokers and all accounts arising out of transactions involving deposits or loans of money . . .” ever applied to me. Equaily unknown are “written instruments evidencing and/or securing a debt otherwise evidenced, including mortgages, chattel mortgages,

bills of sale; conditional sales contract . ..” (Boss, I'm glad, tickled pink, to work for a salary.) oo 4,

THE RATE OF fax is simple to understand if thereofs don't throw you. My friend read from a booklet: “A tax hereby is imposed by this act and shall be (a) 5 cents on each 20 dollars or fractional part thereof, of thé actual value of every .current intangible; and (b) 5 cents per annum or fractional part thereof over one year.on each 20 dollars of the actual value or fractional part thereof of each annual intangible.” A headache was developing fast. Immediately I wondered what would happen if a man bought a few thousand shares of blackstrap molasses stock and didn't advertise it to the tax collectors. I’m not sure, since the appraiser had a cigaret in his mouth which made him more difficult to understand, but he gave the impression others have had the same stinking idea and seldom gel away without being nicked.

The method of paying the intangible tax is cute. You buy stamps for the proper. amount of the tax on each intangible and stick them on, Then the law requires you to.cancel the stamp by writing your initials on the face of the stamp. You're not supposed fo use them over and over again or give the mailman trouble by using them for letters, . bb EVERY COUNTY has an Intangible Tax Divigion office. They act as the fingers for the main office located at 141 8. Meridian St. The main office, however, doesn’t get all the dough. Fach county gets a share of the tax money. Fair enough. Tax money should be passed around here and there and yonder. Much more could be said about the Intangible Tax Division. And a great deal more could be sald about the courthouse. If someone will send me some ofl stock, we might go into it again. Not on a windy day, though.

. Eddie Cantor Defends Moving TV Westward

“WE'VE GOT apartments in New York with swimming pools,” I said triumphantly. (Well, there's ONE in New York, anyway). “It's the pressure in New York,” Eddie said. “All the benefits we have to do. The population is too great, the friends are too many ...” “Now you're knocking friends,” 1 said. “You have a lot of friends here but they're rich enough—you don’t have to do benefits for them!” said Eddie. ; o>. 0 %

THE MIDNIGHT EARL. ., . Barbara Payton's being offered a dis¢ jockey job by the Copacabana Lounge. . .. ABC won't talk about Walter Winchell’s threat to bolt beyond saying his contract is “renewable” and that it approves of his work and expects to renew. . . . Is John McCaffrey resigning after all this time as TV moderator of “Author Meets the Critics” —to be replaced in a revamped format by Barry Gray?

.%* *

GOOD RUMOR MAN: Dagmar’s hiring people now! She employed Jan Murray for her Detroit theater show. . .. The Yanks got rained out, but DiMag didn't. He went sight-seeing with

Yolande Betbeze. . . . Demoerats want Federal Security. Administrator Oscar R. Ewing to run against Sen. Ives. , .. Gene Tierney has a hotel-

man admirer who's interested in her rumored rift

with Oleg Cassini, = ¢ % &

EARL'S PEARLS . . . Jackie Kelk figured out why Robin Hood only robbed the rich—the poor had no money. ¢ © o : B'WAY BULLETINS: B'wayites say Milton Berle's TV show was his best in two years. New NBC project is to do a midnight TV show from Berle’s restaurant. . . . Prince Hohenloe (Honeychile Wilder's husband) is now a realtor... . In a big social separation case, the husband will charge that the wife gave out 14 keys to their house—all to Communists. ody bh

TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: “Prices being what they are, you don't go to the store before the

bank closes . .. you go to the bank before the store closes” Mickey Katz. SP @

WISH I'D SAID THAT: “A television comedian is someone who fills in between shots of the audience waving at the cameras”—Nancy

Donovan. Gab

TAFFY TUTTLE revived the old Cannibal saying, “One man's meat is another man’s person” —That's Earl, brother.

Those Yankees Have ~ Class—=That’s for Sure

necks now for years, and nearly always some obscure pitcher for an obscure club does it to ‘em, at the bitter end, while the Yanks breathe fire from a busted boiler. Cleveland hasn't been much better. If the hit is good, the pitch is bad, but they never seem to get up enough adrenalin to make one strength compensate sufficiently for a mild weakness.

For the last half-dozen years the Yanks have been operating on a by-guess-and-by-gawd basis, and it always seems to generate enough steam at the end to fetch the creakers home with a mouthful of bacon. Since the war a strongarmed pitcher, Joe Page, pulled 'em through one leaky season. Old George McQuinn, a bashedup first baseman that nobody wanted, was the spark that fired 'em through on another time. A kid pitcher, Whitey Ford. came late to boost 'em along last vear, and big Jawn Mize, who is older than the elephants, waves the right bat when you need him. eo S *

GERRY COLEMAN, a normally light hitter, was the firecracker from last year, and before that and during most of this season a Ring Lardner prototype, Yogi Berra, achieved a clutch status of nobility. This year the ringer has been young Gil McDougald, whom nobody ever heard of before. Mickey Mantle, the prodigy, gets expelled to the minors for more seasoning and ‘furnishes thunder from his weapon when they have him home in desperation. Nor do we forget the old man, Mr. DiMaggio. He's running out his string, and he sort of staggers through a season until some extra juice is needed, and Bam! They can’t get him out when the big impetus is vital. He did this year before last, too, and it all boils down to class. » * > 9

CLASS is a thing that produces the superhuman effort, and often ‘by meagerly endowed ents, or old and ailing talents, when there is chemical need for superhuman effort-to batter down opposition. i ~ bullfighters ha

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"The Indianapolis Times

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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1951

Answer to Delinquency—

_JOW TO KEEP youngsters out of mischief—or worse? That's a problem. > iE Drop by 34th St. and Central Ave. almost any day when school is out for the answer. There on a softball field behind the Tabernacle Presbyterian Church are four diamonds, well laid-out with basepaths heavily chalked dnd screen backstops behind each home plate. . And scampering around those diamonds during a

week's time are some 700 boys and girls—children of all ,

religious sects, playing together under adult supervision in a manner peculiarly American. Guy Tex is the recreational director. When he's not on the playing field or in his office in the church, he’s at home in Southport or teathing physical education in School 70. : You can tell he loves children—and he knows his job well. - “We try to give them the kinds of entertainment they want,” says Mr. Tex of his youthful charges. * » s » - ~ » . THERE ARE definite rules for the players:to follow. Actually, they boil down to the ancient Greek theory of “a sound mind in a sound body.” The emphasis is on sportsmanship, with winning the game secondary. Every child taking part in the recreation program . must attend church or Sunday School at least twice a month — but the choice of church is up to the child and his attendance is checked only by his honor-bound answer. ; \

” J » » ” s 2 THE REV. ROY EWING VALE, minister of Tabernacle Presbyterian Church, heads pe program. He's the co-ordinator, the spiritual leader of this example of democracy in action. - : : Next comes the church session, then the recreation committee of 16 businessmen who donate their time, money and ideas. Their next-in-command is Mr, Tex— the only man on the payroll—and he's assisted by Supervisor John Hart, 3254 Washington Blvd., and 61 coaches, all of whom are volunteers.

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AW, WAIT'LL WE BAT—Frustrated DiMaggios warm the bench (left to right), Buck Stewart, Sullivan; Jerry Segal, 3366 Ruckle, and Allan Zuckerman, 3057 Park

Ave. With them, baseball is still the favorite game.

Provides Recreation

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Times Photos

YOU BEAT 'EM—But good sportsmanship is stressed more than victory by Guy Tex, director of recreation for Tabernacle Presbyterian Church, to one of his "students," 2d Baseman Charles (Bubj Anderson, 10, 3751 N. Gladstone. a

HEY, YA MISSED—Swinging straight but high is Gary Williams, i, f 4330 Guilford Ave., while 10-year-old Mike McKeown, 3750 Forest Manor, Husfles to scoop up ball. This one was low and outside. i