Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 16 September 1951 — Page 21
16. 1951
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re : . - y 4 - Inside Indianapolis By Ed Sovola ~~ ONE UPON a time a young man married a young woman and they have lived happily to-
gether since. It's a shame they! re not immortal 80 you could use “ever after.” This .couple is well known to me. We Cross paths about once a month and they always manage to give me a lift. Divorce judges should know their story because they are a living, working example for the marriage institution. There will be men, and women, who will be making with the Bronx cheers about now. It's OK with me. I'm going‘to plow ahead with a full load of steam in the boilers, There are a few things about married people that I don’t understand. In fact, some guys scare me the way they tatk about marriage.
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IT SEEMS the lilies of the valley are still fresh, and the engagement and wedding rings aren't even paid for when wise guys begin popping off about the “ball and chain.” They talk of the “night off” as if "it were a reprieve from something terrible, They speak of a forthcoming social function with rancor. You would think the parnership they went into was some sort of a penalty for living. Listening to comedians talk in such a manner makes me madder than blazes. I would much rather endure the torments of five mosquitoes at 3am “*" oo» THE THING that reassures me, however, is the fine compatibility of my two friends. Of course, there are others that could be mentioned. But there has to be one couple that stands out. They do. I have never heard them speak of an argument. They have disagreements which they talk out. A disagreement is never carried over to the ‘newé-favecodz they explain it, grown people don’t act like adolescents. > 4 4
be
OVER A PERIOD of time you learn the wife enjoys her work at home. She sews, cooks, loves
It Hannened Last Night
By Earl Wilson
NEW YORK. Sept. 15—RBert Lahr, the Great Worrier, the famous Button-Puller-Offer, was not terrifically amused by a story told recently about his pessimism, Bert, according to the story, looked gloomy when somebody congratulated him upon the glowing notices he got in the new B'way revue, "Two on the Aisle.” “Yeah,” -he supposedly replied with & groan, “but what am I going to be doing next season?” “Let 'em say it,” Bert told me one day in his dressing room at the Mark Hellinger Theater before I started on my round-the-world-in-30-columns trip. “But nobody would be that stupid unless they were crazy.'”
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AND THEN, proving that he didn't mind too much, Bert told another story on himself. Supposedly when he was to appear in a benefit at the Metropolitan Opera, he was being congratulated by-a friend who said, "Bert that’s sensational. You're going to tread the same boards trod by Caruso.” “Yeah,” said Bert with the same groan and the same frown, “but it's a bad house for mugging.” : ; On opening night, a friend approached Bert's wife, Mildred, before the curtain, and said, “I hear Bert's in terrible shape back there.”
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THIS WAS to convey that Bert was about to kill himself due to stage fright. Actually, he was calm, he says, “I may.have been nervous when I was a kid,” Bert admits, “but I guess everybody is. Some people bite their fingernails. Look” —he stuck out
. a hand—"I have beautiful fingernails.”
Bert's a sketch—and when 1 say a sketch, I mean a sketch artist. His sketches from shows have become famous—and now he's added another classic, “Schneider's Miracle.” all about a paper-picker in the park, to his collection. And that's quite a collection—as television audiences which see Bert in guest shots are beginning to appreciate,
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BERT IS something wondrous as a drunken policeman who has a to-do with a strip-teaser, in one celebrated sketch. . While he is “merely enforcing” the law (by rying to make love to the girl) she says: “I'm going to phone the captain you're drunk.” “Go ahéad," mumbles Bert. “The captain's drunker than I am.” His sketch, “Taxes, Taxes,” in which he plays. -
Americana By Robert C. Ruark
NEW YORK, Sept. 15—We have had some beefs about the lousy conditions of airports everywhere, including LaGuardia Field here in New York, and I would like to re:echo the find‘ngs of Reporter Margaret Elliott, who went out yonder to see if it was as bad a% the bheefer said,
and found it was worse. aE As a chronic gadder 1 ’ spend more time in airports, ™ almost, than I do at home, and certainly that time—in an accrual of well over a. million alr miles—has been more bad than good.” The average rallroad terminal has a horror all its own, but it is a pink palace alongside the average alrport. Some are less “bad than others, but. mest are just plain Godawful. We recognize now that the air age is upon us, and that tiny tots and doddering old beldames thoose the iron bird as a method of transport, but in about 80 per cent of the case each major airport is right back there in Kittyhawk with the Wright brothers.
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YoU CANNOT combat the fact that space requirements put them too far out of town. Maybe we hurdle that with helicopter service, someday, but it is not argufiable momentarily. But you can quarrel with the actual conditions in the ports when you have achieved the distance between midtowr“and the place where the planes take off. For a start, the food would generally gag a
at, if you are lucky enough to find a short-order igsty open with a surly waitress to serve you. e people who run eating concessions in-airports
‘nave not generally discovered that there is a time
thange, according to whence you came, and what one man’s midnight is another man's noon.
t a mass of airports run their grub- rooms on, *
jtrietly local time and strictly local working ‘tours, which is no consolation te Joe, who ain't “since Tuesday, and who reels in SEreaming r nutriment at 3 a. m
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_ ground personnel and stabilizing schedules,
“hostels from which the lines Operate can advance Deyond thie ise age » a new permanent means | Of trEnsport. Overall, the airport situa rani a's
This Married Couple|
Gives Him a L
to putter in the garden with her flowers, and her)
primary task is to be of help to her husband. Is that a rut? Not in their way of thinking. It! 18n’t. in mine either, They call it a pattern instead | of a rut. The pattern is what they have established and find it to their liking.
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WHEN THEY were first married the objective was furniture for their apartment. They hoth pitched in and saved and watched the possessions grow. Next item .on the list was an automobile
Wheels meant trips, outings. To them saving
wasn't a sacrifice. They bought an automobile. The big deal was a home “of their own The war interrupted their efforts. It didn't prevent them from saving, watching the bank account grow, exchanging letters and keeping the dream bright. HS
MY FRIEND returned from the service. home, exactly what both wanted, where a wanted It, was built. In a few years there is going to be a mortgage burning.
A separate vacation is unthinkable in their |
home. They think the idea of going off in different directions is nonsense. Any plans that are made never exclude either party, One is Inst without the other. I saw the big boy once when his wife was Rone. He was lost. He said the house suddenly acquired the characteristics- of an empty stadium,
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AFTER WORK my friend has one place to)
go—home. If he stops with the. hoys for a short one, it is short. Buddies are fine but the best buddy of all is home. No question about it. You hear men say a great many thing change
after the honeymoon is over. Why should thev?!
What happens to the hearts and flowers and the music a couple wade around in on thelr wedding | -day? That is supposed to be the beginning of a
beautiful union which is to get better, stronger!
day by day.
MY FRIEND has an explanation for the hot |
shots wdo have tasted the fruits of marriage and think them bitter. He says you can’t expect to!
thing in. Too many where the trouble starts, Mr. Anthony, I'm through.
Bert Lahr Is Still Tops at Mugging
a fellow who goes to Washington to claim he’s been overtaxed $99, and winds up owing the government thousands that they overlooked, came from “The Show Is On.” He and Bea Lillie starred in that. “What's this $4982 for a single trip to cali-| fornia?” the Government man demands. “Well, I was in a hurry, so I took a cab,” says! Bert.
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BUT THE paper-picker sketch will equal any of these when they add up Bert's career. In this sketch, Bert is a paper-picker who has seen better paper picking. He's slowed up. Whereas young Schneider, ambitious and fear-| less, pants around the park trying to make Bert look bad. “T knew your father,” Bert tells young Schneider. “We started out in Sanitation and went through Garbage: together.” When Schneider spears some waste paper that was really in Bert's territory, Bert says: “Hie old man was a louse, too.”
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NAT HIKEN and Billy Friedberg wrote this sketch—aided by the editing of another genius, Abe Burrows. In the end when Bert has only a few minutes to fill up his bag with paper or get demoted to the garbage dump, the audience really forgets the humor of the situation and screams for Bert to come through. Dolores Gray—who reaches stardom in this, show with Bert—was with him in another one several years ago, ‘The Seven Lively Arts.” “She was a very talented girl in that show, but just didn't have anything to do,” Bert says now, | Go & uw “HOW MANY shows have you been in?” I asked Bert. He wrote down the list on an envelope. “Thirteen.” he said when he'd finished. i “I shouldn't have asked you,” I said, knowing that this fact might worry him for weeks. Bert knitted his already well-knit brow and said, “Wait a minute. I forgot one. Fourteen!” He looked downright happy about it-——and he hadn't pulled off one button.
WISH I'D SAID THAT: “A man who upsets a woman's equilibrium,” says Bandleader Gene!
Williams, “is a poise snatcher.”
TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: Harvev Sfone savs
his mother-in-law is a card. A visiting card. that is! . . . That's Earl, brother.
Bob Finds Airports Haven t Come of Age
not the carrier's fault when weather delays a
- flight, or occasional mechanical flaws hold up a
departure or arrival. But the poor guy who is stuck in a small and gloomy approximation of Mr. Dante's pet hell is suspended in misery until the Lord unleashes a little decent weather or the mechanics ‘sew the wing back on. The seating is always inadequate, and nearly always uncomfortable. No more exquisite torture wag ever‘devised for humans than the mere occu-! pancy of an airport by a weary meter with a squalling, half-sick child, or an old person who is already. fatigued by a long flight. Dormitories with simpler cots, semi-privacy, and adequate sanitary facilities should be as mandatory as a landing strip or control tower.
. * oo ¢ [ YOU CAN knock off the souvenir booths, too, and all the varieties of vending bandits. “You didn't come there to buy a momento of vagrant Vulture, N, D.. Just gimme a place to lay my aching back until the next flight is ready, and maybe a scrap of chow that contains less ptomaine than pastrami.
I cannot speak for ladies’ rooms, but the aver-| age ‘gents’ is a small chamber of horrors con- |
taining no soap, filthy roller-towels or no towels.
at all, and the plumbing always seems to ber about one-quarter functional. The local depart- |
ment of sanitation would faint dead away if its
most primitive privies were found to be superior | i?
to an airport retiring room, - -— * Te Generally speaking, the major airlines have reformed tremendously since the war. Flying is still an ‘inexact science, open to flaws beyond
the control of the operators, ‘but the lines have done wonders in tautening slackness in the
If the lithes can do it, certainly the temporary
have anything in the got if vou don't put some-| Hg otherwise and that's;
A Iie Lhe world
~The In
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Harold Bid Bi Lily Worker
Rings Bell With . -Lh-13-0z. Catch
. By ART WRIGHT A NEW RECORD for the Championship catch in The Times Fishing Rodeo was set yesterday at Yellowwood Lake, south of Nashville. The new champion fisherman of Central Indiana is Harold Biddle. R, R. 1,- Box 118, a gupervisor in capsule manufacturing at the Eli Lilly Co. Mr. Biddle weighed in a bass 2 pounds, 13 ounces to win the $150 boat from the Em-Roe Sporting Goods Co. and the
Champion's trophy from L.
Strauss & Co. 5 » " HIS PRIZE CATCH was 6 ounces heavier than the next largest bass-—a 2-pound, seven ounce haul—by John Gazvoda, 716 N. Haugh St. Harry «Kaiser, Morgantown, won the title last year with a bass 2 pounds, 7 ounces. n ~ ” : THE PAST two years’ champions had to be satisfied with “also ran” honors. Mr. Kaiser won a prize for
the second heaviest string of
fish of all species. He weighed 2 pounds, 104 ounces. of fish in -his assortment. The 1949 champion ‘was 13th on the list of."string of fish” winners with 5% ounces. "He is James R. Stice, 575 N. Traub St.
It was a disheartening turn of events for the runnerup that brought the title to Mr. Biddle. Mr. GazVoda, a machine operator at Link- Belt, caught his big one shortly after 6 a. m.
When the word got around that his catch matched the championship weight of 1950, he received congratulations as prospective champ from many of the anglers. It wasn’t until an hour before the 3 p. m. closing of the tournament that Mr. Biddle hauled in hig record catch. He snagged it with a chub minnow for bait.
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ALTHOUGH this was Mr. Biddle's third year in The Times dle’s third year in The Times Fishing Rodeo, this was the first time he had won a prize. Mr. Grazvoda, a participant last year, too, didn’t win any of the prizes in 1950. Top honors for women went to Mrs. Frances Allen. She hauled in a bass weighing one pound, 5'y ounces. The best boy fisherman was Dennis Marlow who caught a 15-ounce bass,
The best string of fish, total weight of the day's catch regardless of specie, was weighedin by Harold Boese,"258 S. Arlington "Ave. His total catch was three pounds, 12 ounces.
A special prize was awarded -
to 3-vear-old Benny lewis, 207 8S. 1st Ave., Beech Grove, for being the smallest fisherman with a catch. The fishermen applauded enthusiastically for Benny when the little fellow was introduced with the thumbsize sun fish he caught. He easily won the unofficial title of “cutest” fisherman of the day when he took his tiny catch to the weigh-in station and insisted the Game Wardens list his catch. ~ » ~ THE BIGGEST crappie was caught by David Sweetman who got one 6'; ounces. The next largest was Mrs. Mildred yruca’s 4's ounces. The top prize in the blue gills division was won. by Edward Anderson who caught one 53; ounces. Mrs. Katheryn Rutherford copped the laurels for women in the same division with a catch of the same weight. Max Williams, a 7-year-old, won the boys’ honors in the division for a catch weighing 6 ounces. Some 1500 fishermen crowded the shoreline of the 147-acre
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 1951
dle Wins
CHAMPION FISHERMAN—Harold Biddle sot a new record for his catch in The Times Fishing Rodeo.
lake to fieh all day and bid for the many valuable prizes, Many of the participants camped overnight at the fishing site and at dawn there were many lines in the water. A day that started off with a heavy fog over the lake at the 6 a. m, official starting time turned into an ideal outing day as the sun broke through and sun-tanned the fishermen before they went home shortly after 3 o'clock. = ~ » THE INDIANA State Conservation Department again co-operated with The Times in staging the rodeo. Game Wardens who assisted the fishermen in every way possib'e and weighed-in the _catches were: Maj. John Reath, Capt. Charles E. White, Lt. Gilbert Reardon and officers Richard Pottman, Ernest Fishel, Herman Darlage, James Scott, Ralph Brown, Ivan Thompson and Rex Kritzer. The Yellowwood Lake superintendent, Leslie Deckard, had the fishing spot and adjoining grounds in tip-top shape for the convenience of the picnicking family groups. The Nashville PTA provided food in the shelterhouse and will use the proceeds from the sales to help defray expenses for a new school. = = » THE JACKPOT of prizes, heralded as the best yet given at the. fishing rodeo were fur-
“"nished by these firms:
Em-Roe Sporting Goods Co. 209 W. Washington St, L. Strauss & Co.. Blandford Brokerage Co. 2307 N. €atherwood t.,, R. H. Bennett, Indianapolis, inventor of the Bennett Boat Bracket and Bank Brace, BushCallahan Sporting Goods Co. 136 E. Washington St, East Side Bait & Tackle Shop, 1313 N. Sherman .Dr., Indus Corp. 1815 Madison Ave. Koehler Wholesale Restaurant Supply Co. 2340 E. 10th St., K..and K. Taxidermy Co., 4604 E. Michigan St, Metal Industries, 1420 E. 20th St., Russell's: Live Bait and Fishing Tackles, 1363 Oliver Ave. Sportsman's Store, 126 N. Pennsylvania St., TaVel's Jeweler and Qptometrist, 119 N. Illinois St., Duncan's Bait Shop, 1668 Madison Ave, W. Emil Wilson, Shelbyville, Ind., The John J. Hildebrandt Co., Logansport: Ocean City Manufacturing Co., Philadelphia, Pa. P. and -- K.- Inc, Momence, .1ll., Stratton and Terstegge Co. Inc; Louisville; True Temper Corp., Geneva, O., The T. H. Wood Co, Inc., South Coventy, Conn., Louis Johnson Co., High-
land Park, Ill, Fred Arbogast
5
AWAITING ‘BIG BITE'—This is only a part
PRIZE WINNERS—Mrs. Fraac
; Cortland, N. Y. The Weezel Bait Co., Cincinnati, Line and Twine |
Scenes In Indiana's ‘Dy Bowl’ Area
ianapolis Times
< »
Fishing Rod
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erans of his thumbnail catch.
Bey
David Sablin and Peter Yanoff,
added featuré Harry ing: demonstration. Mr.
Goods Store, peed- champion.
””
TINY ANGLER—Benny Lewifl®® 25 Proud as the vet.’
g crowd that lined Yellowwood Lake.
oudly compare their Jr mes photos by Bill Oates.
Ashawayv, R.T. : way, ghve a bait and fly caste
owner of the &tphin phin is national professional
Al A