Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 3 July 1951 — Page 9

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Americana By Robert C. Ruark

. NEW YORK, July 3—A kind of madness comes Spon adult city-dwellers as the result of a couple th freedom from the office. It is a madness 2 oat scourges them into the country, to carouse te ng the buttercups .and carnivorous ants, and ¢ engage in muscular stupidities which would appall a trained Olympic : athlete, I guess they become addled Oy ‘the air, so free from silt and gas fumes that it inflames the brain and knocks the inhibitions galley-west. The racketing of the larks and- wrens drives them temporarily berserk as the bongo drums spur the dark savage into frenzy. Grown men with fat stom- “ aths and vestigial hair, guys who are too lazy to pinch the: secretary, suddenly blossom In stomachs cascading over the belt. footballs, run races, row boats,

their

shorts, They throw ride horses, plow. around in forests, play tennis at high noon, swim frantically, fish frenetically, and subject themselves to the constant menace of sunstroke,

poison ivy, man-eating spiders, snakes, briars and young women with a constant eye on the altar, Se > 0» ~

I HAVE JUST taken inventory on the ‘man I know best, of whom ‘my mother once remarekd that he was born lazy and thehn had a relapse. I am the fellow who flees from all labor involving muscle flexing. I would rather write a book than hang a picture, and I would starve to death in any kitchen unequipped with cook. Yet I find the following marks on my car- * sgass. One bright blue-yellow bruise, the size of a dinnerplate, on right thigh—result of being kicked by a horse over the holiday week end. One sprained hand, one cut left leg, and one big. purple Yruise on stomach—result of being thrown off horse. One set bruised shotilder muscles, and one little bruise on left thigh-—result of jumping oft

It Happ By Earl Wilson

NEW YORK, July 3—1I've fallen in love with my new secretary . .’. “Mechanical Mabel.” Mabel's all a man wants in a secretary (if he isn’t a wolf). For she’s a woman of steel . .. a machine for work . . . she's a startling new expression of the Machine Age. Mechanical Mabel answers the phone when

I'm out. “This is a phone-answering device in Earl Wilson's office,” she announces sweetly. “No one is in at present. You may leave a message which will be recorded. Go ahead, please.” Most people, hearing Mabel the Monster the first time, are shocked. It's a ghostly experience. They hang up in terror at what is going on in this busy world. But if they should be alert (like Tommy Manville, who tried to make a date with her) Mabel at the end of a minute will gently interrupt them, faying: “Your time is up. wish to say more.”

MABEL THE IRON WOMAN is actually a wire recorder and phonograph. . When all of us in my little beehive are out, she manages to push up the receiver after the third ring, and start a record whirling which _ tells the party to go ahead. TERS ida VPP Preity. . : She doesn’t look good in a sweater, “Her complexion is pure varnish. =~ She's really just soft of a*brewn box; and she's formally known as “Telémagnet.” She's © put out by Mohawk Business Machines and Sonictronics Corp. She'll never replace the kind of secretary that my Beautiful Wife claims she used to be because she can’t sharpen pencils, open windows or run out and get a bottle to entertain a customer. But she’s good at what she can do . . . and I know I'll never find her sitting on some

visitor's lap.

Please call back if you

DAGMAR was one of the parties phoning me who was plenty alert. She up and said to Mabel, “Have Earl call Dagmar. I want to tell him about a new development.” Comedian Herb Shriner was very wide-awake, too. “Well, T'll be gosh darned,” Herb said when he heard Mabel speak to him. “You know, you remind me of a feller back in my home town in Indiana. This feller . . .” “Your time is up!” said Mabel. “Point-killer!” said Herb. One terrible part of having this Mechanical Mabel is that when I leave the office at night, I must always say to one of my assistants, “Now when you go home, don't forget to turn on my secretary.”

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Outside Indianapolis

By Ed Sovola

Continued From Page One seem a pathetic gesture. I may cast them on the water for all who came and those who re-

mained. . = ” " ever, THERE are no markers Can 1 say

where the soldiers fell on the

s cherry cordial, wine and cyanide.

ened Last Night

Finally 1 shook the thought. The men who found everlasting peace on France came in the Spring and for them it will be Spring for-

TH I —— "mn.

Physical Marks Left On Tired Vacationer

horse as he was about to scale a six-foot wall, at full gallop, with me aboard. Two skinned knees, |

The Indianapolis Times

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plus: assorted contusions, result of falling tail-over-tincup intg hostess’ rose garden, while trying to find way from swimming pool to house at night. . One deep scratch on, neck, inflicted by young lady who was being chased by horse, and who was seeking sanctuary around said neck. Had: long, bright red fingernails, suitable for stabbing strange gentleman in the throat. Pe SS ONE SPRAINED TOE—Kkicking football barefooted. - One sprained finger, ‘left hand, from catching football. One big blister, first finger, left hand—fireworks. Marks of ganged fishhooks on eft hip, result of catching myself instead of. fish. Bites from ants, mosquitoes, flies and strange dog. - : B sorted cuts; scrapings, scratches, rashes and stone bruises. One split skull, resulting from having sampled a concoction which host described as punch, and which appeared to contain such in- i gredients as champagne, brandy, gin, vodka,

One pr. pants ruined—horses again. Ditto one shirt. One severe sunburn, especially in vicinity of baldspot. One hangnail. And one wife in just about the same state of disrepair. Lord only knows about the state of my heart, innards, and nervous system, but an unvaried menu of harbecue, martinis, and kindred picnic grub is scarcely the diet for a growing boy, let alone an old-slob. Ho I DO NOT KNOW what it is about the country that leads the host to load the drinks, invent boobytraps for the guest, and inflict upon him medieval tortures, such as tennis and hikes through the woods at midnight. It could be that my own particular host is a kind of friend, who receives intense satisfaction frem the sound of snapping collarbones. . All I know is that no sight is so pretty, to our host, as a young lady flying over a horse's head, or a fat- man being thrown emphatically into a swimming pool. He regards it all as high fun. And you know something? I'd have sworn

it was fun, tod, at the time. v 3

No Lap-Sitier Is | Mechanical Mabel

THE MIDNIGHT EARL: Ferenc Molnar went to a midtown hospital with a heart problem . . . Mrs. MacArthur made the decigion to stay in N. Y., not move to the country. She said to a friend, “I spent 14 years in the sticks. Now I want to be where things are happening.” GOOD RUMOR MAN: Beautiful Joyce Matthews is sho’ popular with millionaires. Miss Luscious’ latest “fan” is rich and so famous . . . Gen. Bradley, who’s urging HST to go to Europe, believes he will Big Business Man Max Reibeise will make “The Eddie, Canfor Story” ‘with Sidney Skolsky as producer ... Tony Farrar says today an action picture is one that makes everybody run out of the theater.

B'WAY BULLETINS: When Linda Darnell makes a picture in Jamaica, Bob Levitt may take his vacation there ... Now ahead in the Police Commissioner sweepstakes: Myles Lane, assistant to U. S. Attorney Saypol . ...The North Atlantic Defense pact nations will be summoned to Washington for an urgent July meeting by the U. ER Lovely singer Ginnie Powell's’ now at the Latin Quarter. ; “ Te od ? 3 <* > < - ALL OVER: Two TV ‘manufacturers are in financial. trouble Jane Garner, Nance’s family, walked out on her socialite escort Vernon George at the Penthouse . . . The Ritz Brothers killed 'em for 40 hilarious. minutes upon opening at Bill Miller's Riviera . Mrs. Eddie Moran underwent an operation.

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PAULETTE GODDARD'S best beau, Cy How- | ard, is rushing her, trying to dissuade her from | going to Europe. Miss G plans to go with Anita | Loos who'll write her a TV series called, “The Perils of Paulette.”

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EARL'S PEARLS: Joey Adams, the come- { dian, maintains that Wilson Mizner was best when he said the man who keeps claiming he's no fool probably has his suspicions.

TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: “Why is it,” asked a man at Major's Cabin, “your wife can always see a blond hair on vour coat but never a button

off of it?”

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Ginnie Powell

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WISH I'D SAID THAT: every crowd has a silver lining.”-

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WHAT COUD YOU call a scenery-chewing actor and his divoreed wife when they're seen together? Naturally, “Ham and Ex" . , . That's Earl, brother,

“For a pickpocket Arthur Maisel.

Quiet Beach Seems) Mut of Place Today

All I know is that I felt about as big as a grain of sand on | Omaha Beach. It was probably the utter loneliness of the beach. Yes, that’s what it was. There wasn't another human being within

the shores of

that while they

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TUESDAY, JULY 3, 1951

PAGE 9 '

Flying High With the 'Y'— :

Outdoor Fun Thrills Boys In Camp

C'MON IN, GANG—Water sports offer cooling relaxation to about 95 boys at the YMCA Flat Rock River Camp between St. Paul and St. Omer, Ind.

BADMINTON, TOO—Four Indianapolis boys engage in arother activity at the YMCA camp. Facing camera: Jerry Woollen, 14, of 4004 E. 11th St., and Donald Jones, 12, of 925 N. Olney St. Back to camera: Robert, Harris, 13, of 6060 Massachusetts Ave. and J. W. Duncan, II, of 2317 N. Leland St.

NOTE: This is the third of six articles directed to men and women who have reacned the age CHAPTER A man rose dramatically from the audience, during the conference on ‘Society and the Older Person,” which was held at New York University in April. He stood well over six feet. His eves flashed as he announced with pride that he was 72 years old-and had been retired for seven years.

“I've worked ail my

| life,” he said, ‘ever since

1 was 11 wears old. 1 worked my way through col- ‘ lege, but I never had time to learn the things TI was most interested in. “Now that I'm re-

beach. It is clear of rubble. It's smooth and passable now. You can see the sand below the quiet

surface of the water several *

feet before it turns green. I was rooted to the spot.” I wished the sun would go behind the clouds and it would rain and the wind would howl. A stormwould be in keeping with the, violence that took place here. But then it would have to storm on Utah Beach, Sain t-Lo, Valognes, Sainte - Mere - Eglise, Vierville, Avranches, Carentan, “Caen and hundreds of other

places. 12g

were dying some of us were cheating on the black market, buying gasoline coupons, standing in line for more nylons, hoarding sugar, making a fast buck, saying over the evening paper, “We'll get those Nazis.” » » = WOULD IT HELP any if I also mentioned the millions of Americans who knew and acted as if a war was going on, took only their share and were thankful that they were helping on the home front? I don't know what vou could tell a man who had to die on D-Day or the day after or a day after that,

Echo of 1854 Speeches—

Leaders to Hail 97th Year of the GOP

Ry United Press’

freedom is in trouble,

JACKSON, Mich., July 3—Re- not only freedom as’ the slave

publican leaders from all parts of the nation will meet here Friday to observe the party's 97th birthday. The Féunders’ Day ceremonies will include a re-enactment of the famous meeting July 6, 1854, when 3000 persons gathered in Morgan's Grove to launch the Republican Party. The 1952 conclave is expected te echo some of the 1854 speeches. : P For example, Michigan Congréssman Kingsley 8. Bingham made a ‘ringing speech which

GOP leaders still are repeating came Michigan's Civil War govin new words but upon the same ernor,

theme.

«I want to tell you as simply, ‘re in trouble, Bingham de-

as I can that we ’ iN" Mr.

[knows it.

Urge End to Words “I mean freedom to say what we think, and freedom to go

choose. I saw the national administration make promises and

break them. I call for an end to words. I am for a new start

Washington.” .

statements

Blair, Jackson, who later be-

ahead with our own lives as we|

for all of us who are fed up with this double<talk and this political pressuring that comes out of

Historical records show similar re made by Austin

Zachariah Chandler, De/troit, later Michigan Senator and i ver ’ Isaac P. Christiancy, the Free-

sight, only a few clouds, two or three sea gulls, the sun and warm breeze. Yes, it's the silence that gets you.

And those who live have short | memories. Sometimes I think we | don’t erect statues in memory |

of the dead, we erect them because we're afraid we might forget why and when they died.

I let the carnations fall from my hands, I didn’t try to arrange them. Let them stay, where they fell, this way and that, If they're not on a spot

where a soldier died, they surely |

won't be far away.

I meaniincluded Democrats, Free-Soilers,|

and a large number of anti-

|slavery leaders.

A Sobering Statement

The original GOP was started amid an. almost revolutionary spirit but the first party platform confained a sobering statement which almost fits the Republican credo of today. It said: “In relation to the domestic affairs of the state, we urge a more economical administration of the government and a more rigid accountability of our public officers; a speedy payment of the public debt; and the lessening of the amount; of taxation.” In addition to. the costumed reenactment of the GOP founding, the July 6 festivities will include

a speech by Illinois Sen. Everett {M. Dirksen and a testimonial

tired, I'm learning, I'm studying, I'm working. for causes I really believe in, and I'm having the time gf my life! “I live in Brookline, Massachusetts, but I came down here to New York to hear what you experts have to say «about retired men and women like me. I'm one of the guinea pigs, you people are talking about and I want to say that I've had more worthwhile, exciting adventures since I wag 65 than in all the rest of my life put together!”

” ” » THE BURST of applause that | greeted: him was louder ‘than that accorded to any .of the so-called. “experts” speaking from the platform. Here was a man who personified the subject this conference was talking about— | the Bonus Years of a man's and woman's maturity. Here was a man who had realized when he was 40 or 50 that the best and richest part of ‘his life was still far ahead of him and who started planning to’ make the most of it. : In response to questions from other members of the audience he explained that he had been a salesman all his life and had been kept so busy with the demands of his job that there had been little time for anything else, ' “I used to make notes of subjects I wanted to find out more | about,” he said, "and when the time finally came for me to retire on my Jittle pension and Social Security, I got out my list . and started doing the things I couldn't get around to

di . ? hd ther oi fact, 1 gi you gouldn’t say 1 have

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Your Years After Forty—

Great Adventure Comes After 65

By DR. ALONZO MYERS Chairman, Department of Higher Education, New York University.

of forty. THREE

tired, because I'm still calling on many of my old customers, but now I call on them to ask them to give me clothing and food and other products they manufacture to send to the children ..in- Europe and other war-torn areas. I find I'm just as good a salesman at getting them to give me. goods, as I used to be at selling them my line.” 9 =" =" u HERE IS a realistic answer to the retirement years and what to do with them. In the midst of theories and arguments about relative value of “dying in harness” launching yourself -on a ‘second career,” or developing special hobbies and recreations for the later vears, here was a man of 72 who may be your “Blueprint for the Future.” ; I am sure that this good gentleman will not mind if I°° take him apart in public to find out. what makes him tick so effectively. After all, he said he enjoyed being a guinea pig. Let's see what made it possible for him to find his greatest rewards during the years that many of our most successful business leaders find lonely and disappointing and that less secure men and

“J women find terrifying and

miserable. ONE — Our friend from Brookline was in good health, He had worked hard all his life, but he had taken good, common sense care of his body. TWO—He had continued to develop his curiosity: He told

, us. that during the noon re-

cess he had gone over to look at the work of the art students. “I've got to find out what these young artists are trying to he said. “The way it stands now, either they're crazy or I am, and I certainly

_mean to find out which one of

us it 18%” id THREE He had made the

THE WATER'S FINE—Two 10-day periods remain in the camp's summer season: July 5 to 15 and July 30 to Aug. 9, costing each boy $20 a period.

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RUSTIC HOME—Iroquois cabin at YMCA camp is home for (left to right) Bob Drum, 12, ot 5740 Oak’ St.; Jim Dixon, 10, of 2231 Central Ave.; Bob Begley, 12, of 631 Loraine Ave.; Emerson Houser, 11, of 5835 E. Michigan St.; James Gladdon, 10, of 5307 E. 10th St., and Stanley Dempsey, I 1, of 1717 Winfield Ave. Experienced leaders are on hand to advise the boys and HA them hobbies, crafts

and other activities,

what kind of a gort of life he

financial independence. His interest in affairs outside him self was so great that several national welfare organizations n were happy to pay his expenses IT IS in when he traveled in their behalf. This made it possible for him to move about, meet new people and see new places—a kind of life which would be impossible for a person whose thoughts and actions were narrowed down to his own well being. FOURTH-—He ' had looked ahead with pleasure to his retirement years. He had not just allowed himself to reach the age of arbitrary retirement and settled down into a bog of” self-pity and uselessness, because *““‘he wasn't as young as he once was.” " FIFTH--He had started widening his interests and making notes of what he really wanted to do all through years. He had started

doubtedly is.

away in new

conditions,

Years.

STARTED AT 70—"Retirement years are the best of all." Frank Rummery, of Cleveland, didn't start to paint until he was 70, * yet attracted the serious attention of art critics.

ing when_he was 60 or 70.

this last think, that the germ for successful retirement lies. Providing for financial security in our mature years is not enough, important though it un-

spiraling living costs, it is mard to know what we can even consider adequate financial secur‘ity, let alone how best to make sure that we get it. But the “savings” that we lay

skillg, in absorbing Interests and in services to others cannot be affected by changing Nothing can take them away from us. They are the best. possible provision we ye can make for our own Bonus ...

“at 40 spon is indeed & emus. Itda

bonus given to us hy the medical men who have made it possible for us to go on living, active healthy lives, at a time when our grandfathers could look forward to little more than the ABC's of old age—Arthritis, Boredom and Crankiness, Fifty years ago, a man of 40 felt he had so little left of life that it seemed ridiculous for him to begin the study of a new subject or to trv to increase hia knowledge of ‘an old one. The field of “adult education” was vague and unrealistic. » » ” ADULT EDUCATION is still only on the threshold of its possibilities, but we know it is one of the great ‘next steps” in human development. A person of 40 can learn more quickly than a student of 20, because he has a clearer picture of why he wants a particular bit of knowledge. A worker of 50 can be retrained for a new skill as readily as a boy of #2 because of his greater experience, As mor: and more employ= ers recognize the value of ma« ture workers, it is expected that jobs will be redesigned to meet their physical capacities. Cian One of the tragedies of our i economic set-up is the waste that comes from our palicy that the man fit the job when, with just a little alteration, the job could be made to fit. the man: » ~ » SOME OF us are fortunate enough to be able to earn our living doing the things we are most interested in doing. But for the vast majority of works ers this is not "so. The work they do is urgently needed and important, but they must have other activities and pleasures if life is to be the satisfying experience it should be. For these people “adult edue cation” is fast coming to mean art and sculpture classes, handis crafts, a chance to read the books they have wanted to read, to develop talents they scarcely knew they possessed. ik Don't wait until you reath retirement to decide what you're going to do with it. Look around you right now and start planning so your retireman

ars will be the beat of all, hi: 1951. United Peature

person and what wanted to be liv-

» ” point, I

In ‘this day of

knowledge and

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