Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 4 March 1951 — Page 43

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certificate,

Inside In

By Ed Soveola Ne YOULL be happy to know that you can prepare an income tax return. A Wilbur ©. Plummer, assistant collector of Internal Revenue, has some good ideas for you. Pull up a chair and this Sunday to get your income tax out of your hair, Mr. Plummer beliéves you must have confidence in yourself. You must not be afraid. If you can add, subtract and multiply, you can make out a tax return, He said in his office most convincingly, “We only put down the figures people give us, There is no mystery or trick to it when you follow directions,” . The collector was gracious enough to take the time to explain the simple Forms 1040A and 1040. He gave me 'a pamphlet of official instructions printed in English, He read many of the instructions to show how clear they were. He also filled out a couple of dummy forms. This taxpayer isn't standing in line or bothering any collectors for help. Bd NOW THAT I KNOW all about an income tax return, I want to take you step by step and show you how to ovércome fear, doubt and confusion. Won't cost a cent. : The official pamphlet of instructions isn't very attractive. But, neither are taxes. On the front page there is a table of contents. All phases of the procedure are listed with the page number beside the heading. : : If you want to know who must file, why you must. file, where to file, how to pay, how to sign, ‘where . to get ‘forms, where to get- help, yor rights of appeal, you find all this om #352: = You can't go wrong in choosing thé type of return- you “desire. * There's Form 1040A, ShortForm 1040 and Long-Form 1040. Separate and joint returns are fully explained on.pages’ 3 -and

you're worried about capital gains, long-and short-term gains, long-and short-term losses, on page 9 you find the solution. > SP ON PAGES 12, 13, 14, non-business deductions are explained in full, Mr. Plummer turned to

It Happened Last Night

By Earl Wilson ;

NEW YORK, Mar. 31 had a date with eight beautiful chorus girls . . . and somebody else paid for their champagne.

Dell Parker, one of the eight from the B'way’

show, “Bless You All,” was an hour late, due to going to sleep with a sun lamp on, and waking up with a face the-size of a pumpkin. When it

«got down tothe size of a squash, she rushed © right Jiro rom RA i eg ri % rest of us were about to leave, so we stayéd—

what the hell, we weren't paying for it. “What ever happened to rich guys who hu around stage doors giving girls diamonds a pearls?” I asked. = ? “I was going to ask you that!” Miss Parker threw back. The: other ‘gals, partaking of champagne and hors d'oeurvres, courtesy of their boss, Producer Herman Levin, let Dell talk, inasmuch as they consider, her ‘from Dollville.” That means she's.a Mttie doll," 70 ~ TERY “Sure, they talk about ns popular chorus girls being busy every night—why, some nights ~ 1 can't get myself arrested,” Dell lamented prettily. That happens to be another expression about how dull things dre at times. : “Would you ever phone boys for dates?” I ventured. ‘ “Sure!” Dell said. “Quite often it’s too late. He may say, ‘I'm busy, you know what I mean.’ “I say, ‘I surely do,’ and I get myself a hamburger and take the subway home and listen to the radio.” : *® @& oO I HAD some little difficulty with these gals because of their slang. Many of their words ended in “ville.” For example, they were going to “Danceville tonight,” or maybe to “El Moroccoville or Copaville.” When they say a man is from “Loadville, Kentucky,” that means he's loaded (with money). The fellow may be referred to as “President of the Doll Manufacturing Co.” That means he's a super-doll. Or they may say, “I called you and you were outsville.” Naively’ I asked whether these pretties would go out with old men—guys 40 or so. Several wouldn't. “I:would. I like very intelligent mien and most

- Americana

By Robert C. Ruark

NEW YORK, Mar. 3-—A friend has just returned from a skiing safari to Mount Trembiant, somewhat confused but filled with ideas about the sport that please me no end. He says skiing

" has recently been adopted by the cleric and the

cabbie, the “salesgirl and the steno, because of a basic trust in its honesty. “I never heard of anybody being able to fix a mountain,” he says. This cynical fellow says that people do not really like to ski, -at all, but merely use it as an excuse to sit around a fire drinking hot concoctions of alcohol and maybe picking up girls under the sanctification of the sport. Théy figure that skiing is a good clean mask for more basic aim. Anybody who has suffered all day in the snow cannot be too severely criticized for

relaxing a touch in the evening. oo <*

“IF YOU don’t believe me,” the man says, “I will fell you that on the one day it rained and nobody was able to ski you never saw a happier

bunch of people in your life. ‘No skiing today,

no skiing today,’ they said, and rushed for the fire in the bar. They were smiling as broad as Truman after the 48 elections.” I suspect skiing has become so immensely popular because of its resemblance to a world that rushes headlong to hell after its own fashion, It is a sport, you know, which bases its appeal on a direct defiance of the laws of gravity. oo oo o> WHEN you are hurtling madly down a hill with a pair-of staves strapped to your feet; and the trees and stumps and rocks’ are whistling past you, you do not draw back from disaster, because this shifting of weight makes the hind end of the skis sink into the snow and spill you. Xoy crouch forward, instead, thereby forming a picture of a man at right angles to the mountain. Any child can tell you that this was not what Mr.-

‘withheld, add,

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v Xt pages 15 and 16 where it shows a taxpayer how to figure his tax. He doesn't even have to use arithmetic, The tax rate schedule shows how much the government wants, : ul For example and just for fun, say you earned over $150,000 but not“over $200,000 last year. Your tax would be $111,820 plus 950 per cent of excess of $150,000. No trouble at all. Heck, after the tax what's left is hardly worth bothering with anyhow. We can get down to brass tacks now and just follow directions as Mr. Plummer suggested, All right, last year you earned less than $5000, all wages. Grab the yellow 1040A, print your name, address, social security number, occupation, make marks in the appropriate blocks, list your dependents, your employer's name, how much he subtract, carry, answer a few simple questions, sign your name, attach all your original 1950 withholding statements (Forms W-2) and send it in. Your worries are over and you can go to the kitchen and get a bottle of beer. > ° SUPPOSE you want to get fancy. You know, deduct travel expenses, contributions, losses, medical and dental expenses. You use the Short. Form 1040. Looks more complicated than 1040A but it isn't, Not really. I have Mr. Plummer’'s word for it. In fact, that's the form I'm going to file. The front page of 1040 looks a great deal like 1040A. There's a bit more fine print. You start off with the same easy, confidant way. For the sake of an argument, let's say the gross income was $6000. There are $400 from dividends, $200 from interest, $840 from a frame rental. Each amount goes on a clearly’ marked line for a classification. . Schedule F, income from rents and royalties, requires the kind of ‘property, amount of ¥ent, depteciation, repairs, other expenses, - * From F we proceed to Schedule H-and explain the deduction for depreciation claimed in §chedule F, Wait a minute. There's something directly below that requires explaining columns 4 and 5 of Schedule F. It's Schedule 1. It's simple enough. Don’t get excited. Relax. “Total income (or loss) from above sources (Enter as item 3, page 1)” might be the key. Could it be . , . where . . . Schedule F takes in « + « let's see, the royalty was $840 , , . MR. PLUMMER! .

ADateWith Eight Dolls From Dollsville

young boys aren't,” replied one of the beauties— and now I can’t remember whether it was Gloria, Olson, or Kris Nosland, or Gren Smith, or Madelyn Rémini or Blanche Grady or Jill Melford. 3 41 remember it wasn't Miss Jeanne Williams who said: “I go out with a-man:65 or-maybe 70. ‘He's a paneer Sn) Deheis H e—Tn lk Kava, to have any’, mbnay Tor me to enjoy him-—i a whether he has money.” Te ‘Where does he: take yo(—El Morocco and such places?” one of the®¥#ls queried. an “Yes,” said Miss Williams, - “Well; he can't take you there on pretzels!” said one of her chums. o : o> o>

LIKEWISE 1 asked whether a stranger =

sends back a note ever gets a date. Again the was disagreement,

PE EAR SRT AE TE AY peo Ru wal

Jeanne Williams said. “I'm too curious not to go out with them. I did go out with one who was... well . . . undesirable.” , : One of their problems is finding men their own age who make an equivalent salary ... or who make any salary, “Some of the friends our own age,” commented one of the girls, “they send you a love letter and you have to put a 3 cent stamp on it.” ’ It was dinner time when our cocktail date was over and poor, poor Mr. Levin had nothing to do but ask the eight if they'd like to go to dinner. - Eight gals for cocktails and then dinner . . . whew, that must have been $100. You know something? No one of them said “No!” But oh, well, they were probably justified, because “Bless You All” was closing at the end of the week—and they're all out of work. Anybody want to sponsor a chorus girl? “ & a WISH I'D SAID THAT: “When your dinner disagrees with you, take a Bromo. When your wife disagrees with you, take a powder.”—Tommy, Dorsey.

@ 4 ©» TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: Jackie Gleason says that in the old days, girls used to complain they had nothing to wear—now they just go on television. That's Earl, brother,

wr. What's Funny About Breaking Your Neck?

Isaac Newton had in mind when the apple hit him. The conversation of skiing people is the dullest of all conversation, because it deals, only with wax. What they put on the skis to make them slide faster over the snow. “There are only 80 many things you can say about the comparative excellence of different brands of ski wax, and the subject wears thin after four or five hours, I like to talk about girls, myself, preferably nonskiers. oe on oe THERE is an arrogance to the ski bug that surpasses the arrogance of any other sports nut. The ski fan cannot conceive that there may be people who do not particularly crave to die of multiple fracture while simultaneously choking from pneumonia while being bored in the process. The nonskier is firmly placéd as a coward, as an impossibly stupid fellow, with a background of Communist association and avoidance of income tax. He is as out of place as a horse hater at the horse show . . . or, I started to.say, as an honest basketball player in Madison Bquare Garden, He just ain't with it,

, *. *. oo oe oe

I AM as scared of horses as I am scared of skis,” and could never see what fine sport was to be had out of being hurled from the backs of jron-mouthed jumpers onto hard ground or into trees. The humor of crashing full tilt info a snowy rock, at 60 miles an hour, likewise has escaped me. You may get your kicks from cold and fractured femurs—me, I like the quiet fireside and a copy of “Tarzan of the Apes.” Let Tarzan take the chances. But this does not make me a Russian spy or a typhoid carrier, which is what I seem to become when I get mixed up with skiers. It is a free

country, they say, and no man should be subject

to chilblains merely to keep his virility from challenge and his name free of slur. Wax, yet. Telemarks, yet. Christianas, yet. I would rather spend an evening with a compulsive bird watcher. There is humor in a tufted titmouse that is unknown to people who. fall down hills for fun.

Nursing Graduate To Enter Army

‘Women's NPTA Unit

Jack D. Byrne of Anderson is, He entered training Feb. 27, To Meet Tuesday

the first male graduate of the In-/1950, and graduated Feb. 16 this) of Practical year. His hospital affiliation work] (was completed at General Hos-

dianapolis School

Nursing. He will be in- |pital. ducted in the |

Army soon and will apply for service in the: Medical Corps. Mr. Byrné was a member of the second graduating class at the nursing school and “the firsts man in the “In dianapolis school to earn such a

Mr. Byrne

lege.

Charles Reid Makes College ‘Who's Who'

College, McKenzie, Tenn.

ministerial student at Bethel Col-

“Who's Who |

‘Auxiliary,

qed

‘The Indianapolis Times

Revolutionary Idea Tested By' DONNA MIKELS HEY ALL LAUGHED when State Police Lit.

Earl Smith sat down on a beer case.

going to get up with an idea which may revolutionize the low-cost furniture field. Today the youthful state

policeman with a bent for “making things” is going into production” on a line of eyecatching, almost indestructible, “cardboard furniture.” And it all eame from the idea he got

case, The foam rubber-cushioned, slip-covered chairs and sectional sofas to be manufactured by his ‘Dallas Smith, Inc.” (he chose his middle name to avoid confusion with his state police job) aren't even on the market yet, © But already their .inventor has enough orders to make the first production run a sellout. : L. 8. Ayres & Co. and major department stores in other ecities have orders in for samples. The experimental units he showed last year at the Merchandise -Mart were snapped up by the Hilton Hotel chain, which put them in its Stevens Hotel in Chicago for’ testing purposes. So far they've probably been sat on by hundreds of persons who didn’t realize the sturdy, cushioned furniture snder them was built eof ox nary corrugated fiber poard. In addition, Life magazine has taken some 300 photographs of the “cardboard furniture,” scheduled to be used in a layout in the near future.

NH an 8 THE WHOLE THING start-

ed some 14 months ago when Lt. Smith, pilot of the state

ton, W. Va: and dropped in on: a wartime Air Force buddy. There weren't enough chairs to go ‘around at a party the buddy cooked up for the visJting Hoosier, so “Smitty” promptly up-ended an empty beer case and sat on it. When one of the guests kidded the host for “letting your Hoosier friend sit on a beer case” the host rejoined: “Well, if he could make chairs out of beer cases I could afford to buy one. And he'd be a millionaire.” That remark stuck in Lt. Smith's mind. Back home he “started puttering,” making models from the cardboard backs of his 6-year-old daughter’'s school tablet, The more he ‘“puttered” the better it looked.

” os 8 WHEN HE. finished a working: model, he ‘visited Inland Container Corp, to get card-

They didn't know he was

as he gat on an up-ended beer

DIRE Joo

Ever SitInAC Trooper Smith

"HERE'S HOW IT WQRKS."—Inventor Earl Smith shows

his cardboard chair to Patricia Stevens model Shirley Kunkel.

¢ \ .good to Inland, too. And 4t looked good enough to Goodyear Rubber Co. that it

* joined in the experiment, as did

Gates Manufacturing Co..of Indianapolis, which worked up a line of smart slip covers. Ever since the triumvirate

~has been “experimenting” into a

production setup. Now Inland cuts the sections of fiber hoard, ‘Goodyear sends along failor-

police. DIANA. AEH 40 SRPI8S yy te. “oars. rubber cushions ‘Gates ships the variety. of sips

covers that match any “decora-" tor's” scheme and the three parts are put together in the temporary office at 29 8. Audubon Road. =

” ” ” , THE RESULT of this collahoration is_a line which includes an armless “modern” chair, an armchair and a two and a threepiece sectional unit, which can’t be told from conventional wood furniture. Lt. Smith has also made twin beds sturdy enough to hold up- under his rootin’, ‘tootin’, cowboy-minded 2-year-old twins but the beds are just “more puttering.” His chairs, which will -be sold assembled or in a box, are put together on a sort of egg-crate principle, made solely of fiber board with no metal or wood reinforcements. Sections are slotted to fit into each other. Tests so far show they hold up

drops from a four-story building

and dousing with a fire hose. Life even had a 400-pound model -

jumping up and down with no damage. : : Biggest sales lures, the inventor figures, will be the ldw cost, especially for people planning to furnish temporary homes for a few years, such as newlyweds, couples attending college and

sérvice families always on the

move... i. RRA Cy PRICES and sales outlets are still in the planning stage. But their inventor is figuring that low cost; plus the moving costs

Ey Ky

savings on furniture that can be folded up and put back in

the box will have thrift appeal for homemakers. He also has

HIN ARE AIRY SI BE

’ ol

IPPY.I.AYE—Thess roofin’, toofin' twin sons of Lb. Smith test cardboard bed. They are Jud (left) and Brad.

PAGE 43

ardboard Chair?

Hopes You Will

ib Ve

an eye on contracts for Army camps which need durable and portable furniture. While these things jell, State Policeman Smith plans to keep right on being a state policeman . . . “it's in my blood,” . .. and to keep working on Dallas Smith Inc. furniture in his spare time. If his experiment pays off, he'll establish some sort of a

T COLLAPSE?—Inventor Smith, Miss Kunkel, Perry

record. Many men have put WILL their fortunes into beer cases, . but hell be one of the few to Kettler, of Goodyear (rear, left) and Allen G. Roth, of Dallas

Members of the Ben Davis High | 4 School speech department will] |give a program at a meeting of | tha Women's Auxiliary to the National Postal Transport Association at 2 p. m. Tuesday in the {Women's Department Club, 1702] Charles Reid, senior, has béen|N, Meridian St. Officers will be selected as one of 10 students to elected. |

receive the honor Mrs. Roy 8Schepman and Mrs. Among Students in American Uni-(Oble Ogle are in charge of arversities and Colleges” in’ Bethel rangements for a dinner for mem- : {bers and guests at 6 p. m. FolMr. Reid, son of Mr. and Mrs, lowing separate meetings the Pos-

Fred B. Reid, Indianapolis, is a tal Transport Clerks and the | Youth group will meet with the

board parts cut to order. The under three tons of weight,

‘Gentlemen, You're in the Army—

make his from one.

Smith, Inc., climb aboard.

New Gls Find Uncle Sam A ‘Nice’ Guy

Camp Life No Longer Nightmare Of World War Il, Recruits Discover

EDITOR'S NOTE: George W. Herald is a World War II veteran who was inducted into the Army 8 years ago. He has just revisited the old place—Ft, Dix, N. J—and some of the changes he found are startling. - This article is the first of a series on his impressions of the life of the rookie, 1951 model, compared with his own rookie days in 1943. The second will appear in The Times tomorrow.

CHAPTER ONE By GEORGE W. HERALD WO DAYS after Mrs. Compton D. Taylor had waved" goodby to her draftee son at Pennsylvania Station, New York City, she received the following post card: “Dear Mom: Arrived at Ft. Dix at 7 p. m., Tuesday. My processing will take about five days and then I will be assigned to a training unit. Do not write untjl you receive my correct address. Please don't

worry, as everything is fine. Jimmy.” : | Mrs. Taylor was glad to get. this sign of life from her | boy. But it wasn't a “personal” note at all. It was a standard message printed by the Red Cross, with Jimmy's signature scrawled at the bottom. Mrs. Taylor naturally

END OF THE FIRST DAY—New “Army sonal clothing with their names or initials,

wondered whether her son was really as fine as the

post card claimed he was. Maybe I can reassure her and the thousands of other parents who are going through the same experience these days. » ”n o T WAS AT FT. DIX the evening Jimmy and. his group of fellow recruits piled out of a bus at the camp's Initial Receiving Point. Still in civvies, they were led right away to a sort of theater.decorated with flags of the United Nations. There, Capt. William J. Fridel greeted them in the name of the Commanding General. “Gentlemen,” he said, “you are heartily welcomed at Ft. Dix, and we hope your stay here will benefit not only you but the United States Axmy of which you are members.” That word, “Gentlemen,” used by a commissioned officer in addressing a crowd of raw recruits, almost floored me. I remembered my “welcome” when

I was drafted into the Army eight years ago. A crowd of us

had stood a half hour in the’

rain when a sergeant finally ambled along and yelled: “Hey, you jerks! Fall out, if you know how, and start policin’ these grounds.” :

, nn AFTER the captain's little

! speech (U. 8. Army 1951 model),

steaming-hot coffee was served at a snack bar in the building. Each recruit was handed an envelope containing the processing schedule, a map of Ft. Dix, and a leaflet titled, “What About Your Personal Affairs?” It dealt with insurance, allotments and financial assistance. There also were two pamphlets on “Personal Conduct for Servicemen” and “What Is a Tough Soldier?” Today's Army fries to impress on its new members, even before they get their uniforms that the ‘toughest soldier” is not the fellow who shouts the loudest, swears the bhluest and drinks the hardest. “The tough soldier is one “who combines a strong body and alert mind with gentleness and tact.” As the boys were issued a few articles for their first night in .camp--a raincoat, underwear, towels and soap—one of them exclaimed: “What is this Army anyway

* —a country club?”

Of course it isn't, It isn't a concentration camp, either,

” ” Ld

THE FOLLOWING morning, Jim Taylor and a few hundred others were put through a “preliminary physical.” ‘Jim appeared in fine shape, but four of his co-draftees were suffering from serious ailments. In my time as a Ft. Dix rookie it would have taken from two to six weeks to be sent back home. Now the Army has worked out a procedure for . discharging unfit recruits with a minimum of red-tape. This is necessary, as induetion centers often pass men who should never have been accepted in the first place, The other day, Capt. John P. Dwyer was a bit disturbed when a new private walked into the orderly room with a slight limp,

“What's the matter, soldier? .

Hurt your foot?” he asked. “No, 8ir,” the man answered, “but I am sort of missing my right leg." He was a World War II veteran who had been sent here with an artificial limb. That's a mystery which Ft. Dix hasn't solved yet. hn og » ” n AFTER the physical, the boys went to a warehouse where a couple of tallors took their measurements and wrote them down on slips of paper. These slips’ helped the supply clerks put every man into a uniform that really fitted him. There was none of the hurry and impatience of old Army days when they seemed to have only two sizes of clothing—too large and too small. Each soldier tried on his pants and jackets in front of a mirror, If there was a cuff to be short= ened or a hem to be taken up, a special staff of girl tallors

took care of it in no time. “Looks like Inventory Sales in Abe's Pvt. Taylor observed. Only fit was more modern than most department ‘stores, They put

Jimmy's feet in an X-ray mas

china so that his threes new pairs of shoes could be properly selected for his comfort. 9 . ” ¥ IN THE END, each GI emerged from tne warehouse with 100 pieces of personal clothing and equipment valued at $184.96, The Army feels the investment is worth every dime of it. “A well-dressed soldier is a happy soldier,” says a War Department circular issued in Oc~ tober, 1950. “If he can take pride in his appearance, he is going to take pride in his job.” What fob? That was now the big ques tion on the minds of Jimmy Taylor and his comrades. The

answer largely depended on the -

outcome of the tests they were to be given on their second day in camp. ¢

TOMORROW: to put square pegs In ET ;

Department Store,”