Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 17 December 1950 — Page 46

Idea

Toosierize That

A signed by a certain Geo! E. Broome, makes me 8 “Ti Texan.” ative Hoosier will go jects, etc., as Big, Bigger, Larger, Longer, Higher, along with the gag for one reason. a Wider, Deeper, Better, ete, than any other or Before sounding off, here's the text of the qut-of-state thing, place or object. certificate: © “you will, with exception, immediately Sneer, “This is to certify that Ed Sovola has crossed Seoff, Scorn or show contempt by some facial the borders and has entered into the great State expression to any person or persons referring to of Texas. This document entitles bearer to all anything in Texas in any manner different than legal rights and priviliges deseribed herein; .pro- the above. ‘vided sald entry did not involve swimming or

“WHILE In the great State of Texas you will

“Violations of any of the above will cause * this certificate to be revoked. Given at Amarillo, enjoying temporary residence in the Tex. this 13th day of December, 1950. Certified gE tate of Teas 1he hearer is entitled ‘to by George E. Broome, a duly declared citizen of talk with » slow drawl and may be referred to Texas possessed of authenticity beyond reproach. or addressed as ‘Tex’ * s » ’

“He will be permitted to wear ten gallon hats, ht colored shirts, loud, hand painted ties, CLEVER propaganda for the state of Texas. tight fitting britches adorned with copper, brass Such pride should be commended and in. the 47

4 eeled boots with spurs other states of the Union copied. hp 4 igh 1 Countless stories have been written about “The wearing of large drug store cap pistols Bigger, Larger, Better Texas. Most are laughf= optional, provided said cap pistols are not con- provoking. ’ 3 cealed and may be affectionately referred to as The fat remains, however, that yey remem"Hawg Laigs’ or ‘Shootin’ Arns’ : ber the grandeur, glamour, guste that Is supdP posed to be Texas. i “NOTICE is hereby given that it is unlawful Somebody is doing a terrific job of selling the to wear britches tucked into high heeled boots Longhorn State to the rest of the country. unless you are the legal and rightful owner of at Consider my case, for example. The certificate caught my fancy. Immediately my legs bowed, I

“dogle, steer, bull, ox, horse, colt, jackass, jenny, mule, sheep or any other range stock and said animal must be alive and kickin’. ’ “It Is also required that a person must own at least one acre of land in order to refer to it as his ‘Ranch’ or ‘Rancho. Smaller plots of land are designated as ‘Nesters’ “Persons owning two acres of land and having on said land two or more of the above mentioned Animals may refer to it as ‘My Spread.’

in a slow drawl. Just like the certificate stated, >a citizen, even a temporary ome, was entitled to do. The Wm. H. Block Co. supplied me with Hopalong Cassidy clothes and shootin’ arns. My nephew will: never know 1 wore them. And he better appreciate his gift because Uncle Ed certainly wouldn't have purchased the deluxe outfit if he hadn't been a Texan. Temporary Texan, 1 beg yo pahdon, suh, 2hoite '

ood

80, Mr. Broome of Amarillo provided many laughs. But that’s all. I've been through Texas. It's bigger, wider, longer and drearier. I'll take Indiana and Indianapolis, if you don't mind, Mr. Broome. I would like to thank you for one thing. You and your fellow Texans who are doing everything in your power to boost Texas give me an idea. Wherever I go and wherever I may be I'm going to sell people Indianapolis and Indiana. No longer will this Hoosier put up a halfhearted defense or offense. From mow on it's both barrels. What is the matter with most of us? We beHeve Indiana is the best but we don’t act like it. We wouldn't live in any other city in the country but we don’t tell anyone why. We can go a step further. Ours is the greatest country in the world, Let's act like it. Every minute, every hour, every day, by word or deed, directly or indirectly, let's boost America. * I've had my fun and the boots and saddle and hawg laigs have been put aside. A permanent citizen of Indiana can use those superlatives right here, Mr. Broome. Thanks, anyway.

President Still Can Enjoy Evening Out

Temporary state , . . "Mr. (Tex) Inside" received a certificate of citizenship from Texas and almost blew his top.

It Happened Last Night By Earl Wilson

WASHINGTON, Dec. 16—We must say, Pres- and she doesn't get any allowance?’ cracked one fdent Truman is still able to laugh and joke, in of the youngsters. “How revolting!” spite of all hiz problems: Before the dinner I told the President that on It was our privilege to be master of cere- a previous stint as master of ceremonies before monies at the National -Press Club's Father- him I was extremely nervous. Daughter Dinner-—in honor of President Truman * + 4 and Margaret Truman—and afterward the Presi- HE SAID he could understand how one could dent arose with a smile, and quite firmly and un- be nervous in the presence of the President of the qualifiedly declared that our show “was worth the United States--because he remembered how nerprice of admission.” vous he had been in the presence of Franklin D, “It didn’t cost me anything to get In” he Roosevelt. i explained. : ; 1 shouldn't think of him as President, he said; | Then the President said this had been one of I should just think of him as a boy from the country. * * 9

the nicest evenings he'd had in a long time.

He added that he hadn't had many nice eve- : A nings lately. ; THE MIDNIGHT EARL... Is ex-Ambassador > 4 + Joe Kennedy being considered for next m

MR. TRUMAN WAS relaxed and having fun Of the Democratic National with the press people in the way that he ca Committee? . . . Mayor Impellitwhen the day's work has eased up. : teri has been alerted for a trip But his warmest touch was toward the tO see President Truman - . .J daughters—mostly little girls who'd come with Dodger Manager Dressen is telltheir dads, the Washington correspondents, for ing folks that Jackie Robinson this great opportunity to shake hands with him. will be a third baseman next seaSome were only 4 years old, but they shook ®°™ with Eddie Miksis on second

hands with him, too. Many ran up to the dais for =: °* Milton Berle’s mother, a lithis autograph. . tle better, is now able to sit up

He signed furiously until Rad- . . . Life Magazine will give dise * i ford Mobley, president of the jockies the brass knuckle treatart elub, said something about the ment . . . Marilyn Ross, who re- gi : President's wishing to eat din- sembles Joan Crawford, is sing- ¥ § : ner, too. ing at the Havana-Madrid . . . : As the dinner was closing and Herkie Styles and Mary Hatcher Miss Ross the Ifttlest kids were nodding, had a big opening at 14 Martinique.

the President sald something

BAR BUZZ. Arline Judge said at Al Schacht's

DOCUMENT originating in Amarillo, Tex., 2 fe or makes me without exception refer to all things, places, ob-

of lowing: A cow, calf, heifer, Jeast one bf HH Ley _ehewed an imaginary wad eof tobacco and spoke |

ke this: : n “I want every one of you Jane Plokens that she'll start entertaining vets . . . Sam Geison ; is new president of the Publicist’s Guild (by one little girls to send me a Christmas card and write vote), with Ivan Black his veep. . . Clark

on it, ‘1 met you at the Father and Daughter dinner and now I am enclosing my autograph.’ And then sign your name for me.” ®* 4 4. : OUR SHOW was purposely brief so that “The Boss,” as the Secret Service men call him, could get to bed early. Jans Pickens, Jimmy Savo,

Jury, beautiful young IAlian Kalir, and Milton “gsomprised the program. - But the President laughed most at the Juvenile Jury kids. Secretary of the Treasury . finyder sent up a question saying he'd just become a grandfather and feared his granddaughter would expect a big allowance besause he was Secretary of the Treasury. © “Her grandfather's Secretary of the Treasury

Retten-

ry CON

Ww

Jimmy Save

‘Americana

By Robert C. Ruark

9 NEW YORK, Dec. 168A lady was shooting

off her face about the war the other night. She is giving us that high-sounding stuff about the ~ men lousing up the detail and it's time now for the women to take over the world and what we

land Hayward advertised in the classified sec-

mans getting ald. says. Art Paul when he sees.a.

at

Gable as at “Peep Show” . .. Producer Le-

tion for “non-actors” to appear in the road company of “Mr. Roberts” , .. Helen Hayes has donated a diamond brooch, a family heirloom, to the ANTA fund . .. The Copa chorus gals now get $100 a week, highest in the country . .. Hotel man Irwin Kramer will soon marry Margie Winters of “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” * ; TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: It's a sure sign a

"SEA ISLANDS—

LIS Tihs a i SUNDAY,

Inc An Ex Sees ¢ © 1 HAV =

appropriat tion of a evening w diana 40 yi tacts with t and also one from the re come gener: classical an the up-state I came fr ties, which f have been | life and cul thanks to t which had | porated in | automobile man's toy, : roads for it In those d “ties were s and peculia contact with sier culture longed rathe ture, which and St. Paul : leans was p - piece, a cult the days of long domina boat.

THE FLA river counti was much r Kentucky th in my corne were still f ized; we wel state metroj Cincinnati; | but the pol not Indianay ter of intere Yet when ; tory of Indi

sential and however the what later 1 type. We were a Indiana, sinc either came from Kentu river from were buildi and reading up-state Indi mostly of sw mosquitoes.

» THAT upas far ups County—was a river-count Eggleston, in never populs low citizens. son; for Ww

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DEAR MADAM:

WE TRUST you'll not think it presumptuous—if we remark

THESE ARE A FEW SUGGESIONS py . that we know considerable about the man (lucky man!) who is no longer tr 10 HELP MAKE A MAN'S to receive your Christmas Greeting. fosly ) Ihe Sook

was presenti them, in we: ment, and se

CHRISTMAS EVEN MORE MEMORABLE CATERING TO MEN for something like 97-going on 98 years—

we can be expected to know something about the male—

; EAE NEINING 2 ent, and x SHIRTS that glows in the his reactions -and what makes him click and river I Strauss features arki—6.95 what makes him kick. some traditi CANTERBURY shirts And among the finest ; , ; whole state by Hethawayenfive slippers Yo gift .- : THEY'RE DIFFERENT—yet how very much alike—We have polyticn fou in textures—soft an-wik are the never met a man (a marvelous mixture of divinity and devil) Andrew Ja Se sietunesch He Aligarons no matter how absorbed in his work—or in himself— finer—WHITE at who didn't glow at a woman's regard for him— asks wv. SROADCLOTHS*— NECKWEAR : ! et 0 regular and medium- The Neckware AND IF A WOMAN pays him the compliment of catering spread collars—4,95 Square—is just inside to his preference—if the gift carries a label that he knows the Washington Street “arid : d that indi il Maurus Prices go all the ; doors—and it is ana respects—and ti at indicates a masculine source— ul todiys way to 12.50 for the outstanding! Prices and if enclosed in it is Your personal card—he just beams— engl on fuperlative sar} oF 3)-=~qnd go he seems transported—he murmurs to himself or audibly abouf he sought: ta

up into the rarefied is by Moniq

portrait of a nude in a gallery and asks, “Who's the artist?” instead of, “Who's the girl?" & oo

>

WISH I'D SAID THAT: “I know a chorus girl with a million-dollar smile. She only smiles at guys with a million dollars’ Snag Werris. “Money doesn't go far these days,” notes Connie Sawyer, “but it stays away a long, long time.” That's Earl, brother,

* pa

Sure. Run Army. Girls, Rut Be Soldiers First

coeducational conflict. Sending women to active war will, in addition to keeping them out in the healthful open, knock down some of the gross libels against soldiers that women have been circulating among themselves for years. A coedu-

peed is a female Secretary of State and a female cational military would also make life aboard * President and such and all the ship and on islands vastly more interesting. * girls will get together and every- * will work out just ginger- IT 1S negessary for women, if they are to take over the world, to prove themselves In all the more arduous pursuits, apart from childbearing, which has been their one specialty and has made them overvain, If they are to be the generals and presidents < sabout time to call the bluff. and ambassadors of tomorrow, they must serve - Okay, kids, take it. Run the ; some sort of apprénticeship in the lower eche- . world. Run the Army, the Navy, lons. = the Department of Justice. But : Personally, I have small faith in womankind's * Jeave yourselves open for a tow Xr ability to run the world, because ‘a lifetime of « gmall reprisals. : - observation has convinced me that females are = The draft, for instance. We have not as yet generally more quarrelsome, treacherous, gossipy ‘subjected our damsels to a call to arms, which is and unpredictable than gentlemen, Anybody who ‘gertainly one of equality’s boons. Why not? They has ever eavesdropped a conversation between . ean fly planes and shoot guns and drive tanks as more than two women would naturally have = well as any man, The Russians used women for Some misgivings about trusting them with the what are we waiting for? The eman- fate of tomorrow. proclamation? Madame President might just possibly take * +» .& dislike to the hat of the envoy from lower

ry 18 no real today "why Siohovia, snd off Wego to war, uy men cannot be ted s as infantry troops. Miss ALTHOUGH I am willing to give the girls ih WAF correspondent, ‘their chance at rearranging the universe, it apn na good &8 & gUY, eVeN ,.ary to me that they ain't momentarily: ready. ! orea. Mrs. Anna Rosen- Maybe another century or so in Class B ball the manpower problem for Gen. pefore they tackle the majors. Creatures who Washington. have been the eager pawns of the fashion dictaa war for a living, if tors seem a little flighty in the intellect, and a ar, she can surely ripe peach for the schemers to pluck. and forced march. Tt Let us consider today that Madame and Miss being generally America are ready for apprenticeship in full tissue than men, . equality, but have not yet qualified for chairman 4 EA of A DAIS 16, furs Dut lat 48 Not Maks

a I had been fanned by this = Preezs for years, as boys and git around the sarsaparilla “of an eventide, and it seems

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dt he ____bracke: how wonderful life is—what a grand world it is, etc.! quote suas : WE CAN tell vou—which—aqift—box—he—will— SHAVING 1.60 Sotery Woolres ‘WE C : oes ell you—which—qift—box—he—will CE U Eleciric shavers in McCrossen Wools— open—1irs x ends oh the most favered Bemwiiers Jie . AND OUT of the depth of our experience we can state and be to give u - makes—Also the 99 SURE of it—that these are gifts that will his heart— 3 P e are gifts that will warm his hear Ta had passec globe sid Sogheh "i BOW TIES—a world and the warmth will radiate to the Person whose name is on the Gift Card— at half .p duis —— f smart patterns. in : : built-in hone and lh, . . » satisfactory. strop—$15 ious weaves and bs Joo inside the Rayons in Necktie rayon gabardine— tomaeed. ashington Street patterns—7.95 single-n : PREPARAT N 2.50 Rowe ges Doors—Iit presents Pure Silk Necktie oS nOn=—one of thing he na po ARATIONS— ET Fem yay eves everything for a Silks—22.50 the best liked in the run away | includ Soaps and Tartan Silks smoker—P|PES— : Sports Shirt world— couldn’t mal A or Shave—sreams 3.50—Hand-painted including the fine Also—a collection of ¢ The rea and colognes— : Ep imports—Tobaccos— distinctive Silk Robes * selection—7.95 Plentifully w shower bars—and so ie ir Sries native and imports— —wonderfully Then, or fortivesby auch - EE qian also individual blends tailored—individual BOTANY all-wool Suough. his SPORTSMAN—MEM— quality silk CIGARS—The most etigns-~ranging in soit shad One oF tw 3 SEAFORTH— $5—Hali favored brand: in Log $50 vp oe a «—12.50 had 10 be co YARDLEY— Grane ay Swi the Tobacco World ° BOTANY all-woel i+ earma Aout BR AMO uD ~ Moires—Cashmeres— LIGHTERS—Bearing SPORT SHIRTS Gabardi 14.95 WHEN Hema. and Sus English Madders— the best known : made all at ! T a Ud yanouY Swiss Warp Prints— names like RONSON And Strauss covers UNDERWEAR all at one ti s le Heavy Woven Silks— —EVANS—ZIPPO— the field completely BOXERS Catiernia Hand. ASR and others —in a price range feaiute i agle °d The SLIPPERS Do Silks HUMIDORS and from 2.95 to $35 Mar's Store has ~are presented in DOMINIQUE FRANCE ASH n Here are a few of thom--ut 3 almost unending is one of the most various accessories them——n . There are woven variety—literally desirable names in to smoking pleasure -noled brisfly NYLON BOXERS— : dozens of styles in the ‘Neckwear World [cle ARETTES of 2 The FITZHUGH hit ond A i. all price brackets— —ithe patterns are course) , Solar Sizes and : 2.95 a 380 a The L. 8. EVANS de a. He 3: iy There : Rayon = . 10U$— y eca—J, - g OPERA it a top the tailoring-is ROBES... - = : « featured feature—It comes in superb—there is Here are a fow ~~ The FITZHUGH ; 65 Brown, Black, Blue nothing above them - highlights from a in Rayon Gabardine a SRE es TE ET 59 «#3501815

FOR SMOKING

And there is a NITE. PPe The Tobacco Counter

LITE OPERA Slipper

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