Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 17 December 1950 — Page 30

By ANNA ROOSEVELT and DR. LEO DOYLE

NE OF THE MOST NEGLECTED aspects of the married status is the role of the husband in pregnancy. :He either isn't mentioned or is dismissed with female contempt. By merely fertilizing the female he does not drop out of the picture, or drop dead, as do some insects, The potential father i= right there throughout the 40 weeks and his reactions to the pregnancy determine to a large extent the emotional atmosphere : in which the mother lives. Hae The husband's attitude is reflected to a considerable degree fn the patient whom the obstetrician sees in his consultation room. In a marriage where both husband and wife are desirous of pregnancy, fewer problems arise, In a marriage where the husband resents the pregnancy, or where the couple was about to separate, considerable difficulty

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experience a greater emotional upset. ~ » ~ » " - IN THE MARRIAGE where pregnancy is desired; the husband may become more excited than his pregnant partner, who in such cases sometimes assumes an attitude of superficial sophistication about the apparently purely feminine function. . The crux of the matter is this: Having a baby is not strictly a feminine job. It is a job for partnership. While Es the does most of it from a physiological standpoint, she

This is the second of six articles presenting thoughtful, practical advice on the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy—material of value to the prospective father as well the expectant mother, 4 Condensed from the recent book, “Your Pregnancy,” the articles have been written by a well-known mother, daughter of the late President, and by a specialist in childbirth. Dr. Doyle is a former professor of obstetrics and gyneecology at. the University of California.

The articles will appear weekly In the women's sec- : "tion. of The Indianapolis fa Sunday Times,

has a tough job emotionally unless she has the help and understanding of her husband. ; We see this all too clearly when we deal with an unmarried girl who has a baby entirely upon her own. Even with the aid of friends or relatives, she finds the emotional rocks very rugged, Totally, this. means that when pregnancy comes to ] those who desire it, the part1 : nership between the two pros1 - pective parents must.be a very real one. It must include the sharing of facts and feelings, and a mutual understanding of new emotional factors which are bound to enter into the family life,

disease nor an illness, and, aside from a few minor discomforts; is a perfectly normal biological process. This situation requires an understanding on the husband’s part, but any girl who cracks the whip just because she is pregnant defeats her own purpose, No marriage is built on deception, and this is rank fraud. The oversolicitous husband who heeds every whim his wife develops can be a menace too. This does not add to normal married stability.

Danger of Domination A HUSBAND can have genuine consideration for his wife's pregnancy and show her an increased amount of love and affection, But if a husband becomes subservient to his wife's every whim, the two of them are allowing a new and dangerous family relationship to develop. No woman respects the man she can completely dominate, Under certain emotional

Proper Perspective SOME WOMEN use their pregnancy as a means of obtaining undue attention from their husbands, They must have breakfast in bed; although thév never have before. They can't do any housework because they just feel “too terrible.” They see a chance to get away with a little extra attention and make the most of it. It is one thing to get a little sympathy and understanding because you honestly do feel fll, and quite another to exaggerate minor problems into major ones. It is neither fair hor reasonable, and defeats any attempt to make the strains, however, and given pregnancy a partnership. the opportunity, she may do As we have stated previ go _ously, pregnancy is neither a

There is of course the op-

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.may be anticipated. As might be expected, the wife will usually

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heed every whim his wife develops during ot pregnancy, he can be a - tremendous help... especially if there already is a brood to care for. 3 »” » - Papa is equally as proud as _ mama-—and why shouldn't he be? he... has done his judicious best to see her thrqugh the trials of her pregnancy?

a posite to this situation, and it too presents its dangers to the normally happy ties of married life. This opposite occurs when the husband re-

fuses to give the natural extra help and affection which his common sense

tells him is needed under the circumstances, It boils down ability to balance, This balance means that sincere love associated with an intelligent understanding of his wife's condition is essential to the husband's attitude, The husband's knowledge of and interest in the physiological changes accompanying pregnancy will give him an insight and understanding of the psychological changes that occur.

Shouldn't Be Left Out

CERTAINLY at no time should the husband have a

to the old strike a good

feeling of being left out of *

the whole procedure with the entire show being run by the doctor, the wife and the baby. It is good to have the hus-

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band meet the obstetrician and to talk with him on one or two occasions. Real confidence in the total picture of pregnancy and the starting

. parents.

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of a new human life on his way In the world is based upon a degree of intimacy known as doctor-patient relationship. No physician, or expert of any kind, however, can take the place of the efforts of the two most important persons involved -—- the prospective Expert advice and care are sheer necessity. But, when it comes to the down-to-earth problems involving husband, wife and child, the largest responsibility for working out emotional problems lies with the two of YOU.

NEXT SUNDAY: There's not always a good reason for the wife's irritability.

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