Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 20 August 1950 — Page 21
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te be inelined to think the heat's been 100 much Lot hold on, events are beginning to clear. I'm trying to recall exactly how long I've been in a coma so we can pin the raccoon the wall. What day did the mercury hit 90 and everything got sticky? Friday? yesterday.
great extent by one's will and concentration. Thus it was last Thursday or Wednesday, when the heat was pinning my shoulder blades to a barbecue rack, I called upon my friend Jim Hussey. “Jim,” I said, “let me borrow your raccoon coat for the afternoon. I want people to see ‘me and feel cool by comparison. The gag will knock them cold.” : All of Jim's employees and customers, content man’s Club, forgot their glasses and rushed to the aid of the big man. The bartender administered a stiff jolt of Jin's faverite. and a bit of color returned to his cheeks. Finally Jim whistled and the raccoons dashed up from the-basement dragging their linings behind them. Jim ordered the linings zipped back; ordered another few hundred cc's of plasma, ordered me out of his joint—he was full of orders, With a beret on my thumping head, scarf, gloves, raccoons out of a parched throat, I stumbled forth to make people feel cool by comparison.
ry:
Your own conception of what heat is. I was dressed for 50 below zero. Inside my coat the temperature stood at 50 below 300 degrees centigrade. This, I believe, is the melting point of cheaper belt. buckles. Reactions of the local citzenry who were unfortunate enough to be in the downtown area instead of a retreat on the shores of a Minnesota lake, were gratifying for the most part. “Brrrr—I'm cold,” was a favorite remark. A lot. of people stared or laughed without expréssing themselves one way or another. Those who ran into doctors’ offices or to phones to call police, I ignored. There is no law on the books
— that forbids a man to wear a raccoon coat in the those ‘who saw the walking raccoon coat laughed. |
middle of summer, ; Being bundled up in a heavy coat is probably comparable to being a hot tamale. Women seemed to get a bigger kick out of the stunt and I'm wondering now if the fairer sex likes hot tamales better than men. In fact, one frivolous- wench whistled at me. I answered by puckering up my lips. and ‘blowing the perspiration off. I got a kick out of the restrained and reserved folks who pretended they didn’t see the screwy outfit. You could see the pity in their eyes
Bernie’s Birthday
regulated to a
quickly #
—YoWd Be siirpiised the effect arctic garb has on 013%,
-
trols, marched over mountains up! to 8200 feet high. They continued across rivers and streams, withlotit- food or medical supplies. A
a 1st Division liaison plane. Food, medical supplies and maps were dropped, {about location of enemy troops and patrols. Planes kept in contact with the company until it returned po WE 0-H PRIS det that did not burn when we ¥ nad 3 Ho. prevent. it.
Cpl.|“Later we had to
and, .
planes.”
Plane Comes to Ald Finally contact was made with
is invited.
to American lines. :
of our tanks
to destroy one A
Red lines butlenemy hands,” Cpl. Sanders said. ) backtrack
: by the burned tank and one of the men noticed the radio set was not
men destro -idamaged. We carried it with us The yed their heavy and later contacted one of our
‘1st Armored Reunion To Be in Cleveland The First Armored Division Association announced today that it will hold its annual reunion in Cleveland during the first three
along with messages days of September. Anyone who was ever attached to the division
The First Armored fought Romimel in Africa. I ©
for Monte Casino and pushed: its
way up the Italian peninsula to
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Poor raccoons . ., . With the mercury af 90,
“Mr. Inside” dresses for the occasion in a fur
-coat. Under it he had a melting pot.
for the poor fellow who was gone with the heat. | When they turned around and stared, I retaliated. That brought them to their senses. i Construction on the new Penney building was halted several minutes. Every man had something | lo_say. 1 One man ask his. I ought to put me out: of my misery with a cold chisel. Another worker answered and said: “Get some of that hot lead and let him have it. The| guy looks cold.” Once the perspiration began to flow, all my attention was directed to pulling my belt tighter. Not | that I particularly needed my pants to keep warm, | it was just that I didn’t want to have a lot of ex-| plaining to do if the police stopped me.
Pants Full: of Ice Cubes? WOMEN WANTED to buy me dry ice. Men yelled to ask if my pants were full of ice cubes. Some guys came out point blank and wanted to| know if the heat had blown my stack. Most of
Laughed and forgot the heat for a moment. Mis-| sion accomplished. The last thing I remember before the heat around the collar became uncomfortable was the sight of a young fellow hitting himself over the! head with a raccoon. At the time it struck me as/ strange that he should be playing with a raccoon! in such heat. But, you can’t tell about people. = 4 ~ I have one regret. Should have packed lard cans along. Talk about not having an ounce of fat yourself. You talk, I'm still weak.
"By Robert C. Ruark
NEW YORK, Aug. 19—An old hunting partner of mine hit his 80th birthday yesterday, and I'd like to hold him up as a prime example that . having a lot of -fun never hurt anybody. Bernie Baruch, at.80, still has more laughs and gets around more than most young fogeys of 40. B. M,, today, has gone underground as an
adviser to Presidents, but the President's advisers
still buy Mr. Baruch on the mental black-market
“THEY WAIT until they, get in trouble,” the
- old gentleman likes to say, “and then they send
for me to get them out.. The only thing is that I am never a very popular fellow because I tell them the truth, People do not like to hear truths if truths are uncomfortable.” pi Mr. Baruch, at 80, looks backward at £n unparalleled career—and forward to another 20 years or s0 of excitement. He was a millionaire at 30, and he made every dime himself. As official adviser to Woodrow Wilson and Franklin Roosevelt, as unofficial adviser to some of Mr. Truman's cabinet, as a close friend of all the big ones from Clemenceau to Winston Churchill, Mr. Baruch has been in on the big doings since World War I—and still makes more sense than anybody around. - . But his involvements with statesmen and crises and wars and millions never made him stuffy. If he pontificates a bit, it is because he generally knows what he is talking about, and his knowledge is founded on facts. “What are the facts?” is his best-known question, whether he is surveying a rubber shortage or a plan to harness the atom... > d_hard-—and. still does.
so far g of the low-cut neckline, He purely Joves the gals. The senior statesman doesn’t drink much anymore, He'll sip a glass of champagne or steal a
Just a Tapper
B. M. was concerned, with the advent
another quarter century. Happy birthday, Chief. It’s been real fice knowing you.
swallow of nurse-companion’s. old-fashioned, but! there was a time when he was fairly handy in the wassail department. He quit smoking in 1034, because he was never without a cigaret in his hand. A couple of years later he knocked out a cab driver who gave him some lip. Mr. Baruch does something today that men ‘half his age would find wearing. He loves to shoot quail, and he hunts six days a week, at his
~.. Possibly because the old boy has a 50-year rec- plantation in South Carolina, for three months] . = Sr of bel ‘about nearly everything. every year, This means that he is on a horse ’ ’ from two to three hours every af 2 TORE 1Tellthe Truth’. EAE RR Ah “IE dk sh ie “possibly 30 ti ,
He still is an excellent shot, although almost totally deaf, and he hunts without his hearing aid, A great ceal of quail-shooting skill depends on the t of sound to reflexes, and Mr. Baruch operatés under at least a 50 per cent handicap. But he'll still kill his limit of 15 more frequently than any of his young guests, He never kids his shooting partners about their skill or lack of it. “There are two things a man cannot be kidded about,” he says, “his prowess with the ladies and his ability to hit a bird.” The old gent is still an eager gambler, and spends considerable time at the races. He almost invariably invests the month of August at Saratoga, taking the baths and going to the horse park daily. Next to shooting quail and eating, figuring the horses is his prime recreation.
One Single Life AS A FREE-HAND eater, B. M. Baruch holds several local and international championships. He eats simply, but he packs it away with boyish enthusiasm. His Southern upbringing still dictates a great fondness for turnip greens and yams and
ha
dy. if hel}
similar truck. He loves sweets, and m
SAR Dud fruit between meals.”
v Re
lation—an hy savors living and expects to enjoy himself for
f
By Frederick C. Othman
WASHINGTON, Aug, 19—If you should take
mysterious banging in thé wall behind your bed, do not be alarmed. It's only Lt. Joseph Shimon, our celebrated local cop, crawling in the ventilating ducts, hanging up secret microphones. If the noise gets louder, and is punctuated by somebody saying, “ouch,” then perhaps you should worry, but only for the well-being of the good lieutenant. This sooty-faced athlete of the police force eases himself handily into the air-conditioning pipes, but he has the devil's own time getting out.
Buttons Under Doors
THE LIEUTENANT, who seems to have only slight regard for the U. 8. Constitution on the subject of every hotel room being a man’s castle, does better slipping hearing-aid buttons under bedroom doors, and tapping telephone lines with his trusty earphones. od. > I have not yet met this expert on the art of hearing conversations which are none of his busi_ness, but I hope soon to have this pleasure. The Senate District subcommittee is about to trot him outs for pubic inspection; the lawgivers are interested in learning who ordered him to listen in on distinguished visitors, and where he got the $1000 bill of which he was so proud. ey Lt. Shimon did a notable job in 1947 when he spied on the lieutenants of Howard Hughes, the movie maker, airplane designer and financier, then under inquiry by the Senate War Investigating Committee. The lleutenant indicated to his * helpers that be was operating under orders of the committee. Sen. Owen Brewster (R. Me.), then the chairman, ‘said he was not either. - So Sen, Caude Pepper (D. Fla.) opened the investigation by csbing a pair of cops in mufti, James Bryant and John McHale,
The Quiz Master
fancy Washington hotel-and héar a:
to sge. what they knew about Lt. Shimon's op-
“Knew plenty. "| This trio of law and, or, order first visited the | Carlton Hotel where they tapped a phone and | slid a hearing-aid earpiece under the door of a| room where Hughes’ advance men were regis- | tered. They never showed up. They went instead | to the Mayflower. 8 i ~ So the Messrs. Shimon, Bryant and McHale! hiked with their machinery to the latter hostelry. | They went to the fifth floor where the lieutenant | put on his dungarees and told his helpers to take
off their coats and ties so they'd look like work- |’
men. Mr. Bryant said he helped squeeze the lieutenant into a ventilator so he could hide a micro-! phone within.” Pvt. McHale said he functioned as lookout. He didn’t do so well, because a hotel watchman happened by at the exact, unfortunate | moment that Lt. Shimon got stuck inside the wall. Mr. Bryant let-go the lieutenant’s foot and engaged the watchman in conversation about! baseball, When the latter left, he pulled his boss out of the hole. Lt. Shimon never did microphone placed.
Airlines and Girls lind BUT HE DID TAP the phone wire of Hughes’ | attorneys and then Mr. Bryant and Mr. McHale spent long hours listening to conversations about | Pan érican Airlines, girls, and Hughes’ playboy: press agent, Johnny Myers. Later on, continued -Mr, McHale—pale-faced before his inquisitors—a stranger appeared at the office and left in five minutes. Thereupon Lt. Shimon exhibited a $1000 bill to Mr. McHale. The private: said he believed the lieutenant did this because he was the kind of fellow who liked to
brag. | Tap — Tap — Tap. It's nothing. Nothing at all. Just Lt. Shimon trapped in the ventilator.
Did the dollar sign result from a combination of U. 8. the letters standing for United States? Among coin collectors, it long has been taken for granted that the sign originated from a Mexiean abbreviation of Ps for pesos or piastres. This resulted through dropping the 8 over the P, dr combining them. There is evidence that the dollar sign was used long before there was a United States. : :
??? Test Your Skill 2???
. What is a stirrup cup? , : + That is the name for a cup of wine or liquor taken before the hunt. ~ |
* * oF
Is the pay uniform in all branches of the Armed Services? %
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