Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 5 July 1950 — Page 10

SIZES 9 to 241; Open Il to 7 Just For You

J + SAVINGS

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Dresses Blouses Skirts - Lingerie | Hose

At Their Frailties

\s ih As u. S.

English ‘More Amused

By Earl Wilson oT | LONDON, July 5—It's time somebody came out and

America’s—and I'm the bloke to do it.

I rode out to a famous pub, the Black Lion, and talked |

'about jokes with Sir A. P. Herbert, the old gray humorist.

| Theater, where a comedian

‘bends over with his Qerriere |

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

| : : © Echinoderm

Answer to Previous Puzzle

CILIAIDIYIS] ICIARIMIEIN RIEIVIE IAL]

HORIZONTAL 6 Mollusk *

= 7 Laughter 1,4 Depicted ; sound . Wounds 8 Small devil 12 Father of Ajax 3 Doushy strip 14 Pastry Ol Ee hen EECRECEEREL 15 Town in Iraq Orienta] coin SAFIEASIELL IZ] 17 American poet |, , hg IRIEIPI INET RIA : 18 Not (prefix) SPI] IRIEIS ARTIST) : 19 Hymns 16 Army officer 21 Down (ab.) 33 Harm 44 Preposition 22 Tidy 19 Studies 351 is @ —— 45 Corded fabric 24 Chilly 20 Hurries creature 48 Greek letter 26 Rim 23 Things to be 36 Gems 50 Ventilate 27 War god done 41 Cage 52 Compare (ab.) 28 Hetrory detty 23 Bird 42 Seed covering 54 Three-toed - 29 Note of scale 32 Noise 43 Burden sloth 30 Nickel (symbol) 31 Italian rive: : 82 Lateral part 34 Town in 37 Persian poet 38 Harvest 39 40 Mathematical Quantities 46 Sun god 47 Doze 49 Declain Bother 51 It is wee in form 53 Aches 55 Undulats Anger VERTICAL 1 Dirtied 2 Before 3 An (Scot.) 4 State 8 Network

AIRIE OIL IA ARIAT TL IOIQISIEE 17 IAP M rtd AE ITINIE |S EY i

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of town that represents. Answer: “South End.”

The English are perhaps more amused by their frailties than we {are by ours, They tell of an Eng{lish barmaid who was asked by an American why she couldn't give him any ice with his drink. “I don’t keep any ice,” she said.

“Why not?”

“What's the use of trying to

keep any?” she said. “It melts!”

That's about of the same family {as Jack Benny's crack, “I don't {really need glasses—-1 aly wear {them to see with.” —

Ld = »

THE-ENGLISH are amused by their own determination to drink. { A. P. Herbert told me that during the war one pub posted this sign:

od

“If there is an alr raid siren, | we shall go on serving. If there |

immediately.”

I mentioned to Herbert that |

! isa direct hit, we shall close |

The current one goes “Awful about Reggie,

it”

“Why? ory

“He fell in love with his horse.” | 8

“Mare, of course”

“Of course. Nothing queer about! Reggie!” | They have brassiere jokes, | | too, the current one.being about { a man who refused to pay 10 | pounds for a bra his girl bought. | The store where she bought it sued him, and he told them, “I won't pay for it. I'd rather see

her swing for it.”

When °

when the Beautiful Wife and I jokes,”

{visited the House of ‘Commons

‘drink.

about 5. “Tea! I never can drink it.

sald. “Waiter, a gin-and-tonic!” » » »

It) goes straight to my head” he]

1 GATHER we Americans don't think the English are funny be- do you cause we don’t think Punch mag-| ‘azine is funny. Well, I don't think

the “English think it's

a puzzie—

| from outsiders.

fis SS

funny,’ either. They read it as they would -trying to find a joke In| it. They love to tell how a Punch! drank champagne at El Morocco's {editor was asked why he never! |Champagne room. . . . received any funny contributions Angel closed and reopens the clothes Lounge (with Eadier

Ag can lift five men at a time,” | The other night one of them com‘she said. “It's not every girl who plained that she had something in ican pick up five men at a time.” her eye. Then I asked her, “What word Murray, ’ English girls have for tn

BAR

Tommy Trinder, We'll skip such jokes as thoge heard at the Victoria British comedian, came back here; rere (from playing the N. Y. Latin! .rowded these n |in the air and asks what part Quarter, he said he'd though the students listening to Robert Mer-| American bird was the eagle till irill vocalize between shows. . . he paid his income tax, then he| { Roosevelt - found it was a vulture.

: Joan Rhodes “Oh, we get in a lot of funny! ‘he’s

he said.

Yes, on our little tour, on which] ‘Double: |with Beverly Baxter, Canadian- we hope yotr're still with us, the singer Eddi¢ Fisher. . . . Pranchot

{born MP. and drama critic, hel gw and I decided to advertise| TOne announced at McCarthy's invited us to sit on the terrace. British. sense of humor. {along the Thames and have a ,ven found a strongwoman, very series at Motion Picture Stages. ipretty, too, named Joan Rhodes, ! “I'll have tea,” I said, as if-was ‘and recently signed by N. Y. Pro-| duos John Wildberg, who tells Todd's

‘wolves’ ?” “Men,”

The Midnight Earl

she said,

BUZZ:

like this:

So there!

Sumner

The Blue him

&

wasn't

party lines,

you not only |

ill you also get a Hooper |

July 6. a . Producer 8. P. Eagle lis at the st. Regis casting for his! {next film, “Hot House,” for which ‘he'll pick 24 unknown gals. {That white robed lady dining at | Quo Vadis was Madame V. Pand-| . The Roxy stage door is! ights with music|

the

Raceway fans are [betting that Proximity racks up “ithe “elusive 2 minute mile record] {before the season ends. . . .. 8. J. Perelman’s getting together a TV] show for Arnold Stang. "re 2 WHAT'S HOT: Several wealthy {and - daring) town are buying up falling stocks! as fast as they're being dumped 4 by the wary. ... A group of pub-| —+Heized newcomers on the social] {sét, whose names appear regular-| Hy on committees and letterheads! | for charities, are demanding al | percentage of the take. . Louis| | Armstrong's ulcers are acting up| jagain, . . . Deanna Durbin writes |triends she'll concentrate on opera! and tthe concert stage and leave] | movies alone from now on. Copa towner Julle Podell's so excited {about the $5000 he raised for the (Mt, Carmel Home for the Aged planning on making it an| tannual affair. . . . Today's Daily Golf pro Alice Bauer and

We Steak House he'll make a TV

TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: Mike | “Peep Show” offers the | scantiest-clad showgirls in town.

“Probably,” guessed Ken | ‘her costume.”

WISHT D SAID THAT: George I Shearing: “sometimes a girl tdoesn't mind going out with a] imarried man—as long as it isn’t | Welles: the one she's married to.” Jack Carter says his wife helps; choose only part of his] -she picks the pockets . . Rack)’ That’ 5% Earl, brother.

imentoes. ‘Both are small and

{model of the radio proximity fuse

persons around the sun’

coneOne, of plastic and metal. is a

\for shells and bombs which he ‘helped to develop as a war-time -‘naval research officer. “The other, of sun-baked clay, is ‘a 5000-year-old relic of Chaldea.| Mr, Strauss, who used to travel a ./lot, found it on the approaches to

1934 WEST MICHIGAN ST. FR. 9622 4925 WEST 16th ST. |

‘a temple ruin at Ur. It bears a cuneiform inscription which translates as: ‘ “Let Marduk, King of Gods, {Smite with his lightnings whoso - cometh near this House of his (Virgins. 3 “Smite whoso cometh near—in fother words,” Mr. Strauss said, “a proximity fuse.” : . On the clay cone's base he has {printed these words from Ecclesiastes: “There is: no new thing under

wt

Poison Bait Attacks !Aussie Wild Dogs

ADELAIDE, Australia (UP)— Poison bait has been air-dropped jover 116,370 square miles in South | Australia against dingoes or wild { Australian dogs. Tén thousand baits, prepared; from abbatoir offal, were laid on each run by planes. :

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000 gathered 49th St. for 15th anual f Both event and 10:30 p. of West Side Adding to more than . who left Vi 8t. at midnig

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WASHIN to me with suit made of an involunts And in t once met at I look like good, either, The subject In the w was a fine-lc ft had beer $37.50. This

No Linen

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