Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 18 December 1949 — Page 44

Son _Resen

DEAR MRS. MANNERS:

‘MY MOTHER Is going to have her 10th

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So sents Taking Over His "Lazy Father's Responsibilifies =

it 1s my responsibility or the responsibility of my eight brothers and sisters ta pay the hill every time she has a baby.

I think it’s time I take my family off the payroll.

tell them frankly soon.

My problem is how to tell my fiancea about my mother.

ashamed to tell her. My. folks cannot provide for the children they have already brought into the world. They don't have money saved or much income because my father is lazy. Since I have been living at home they let me know I'll be expected to pay for the baby, Up to now I've paid most of the bills for the whole family, That Is why I haven't saved much for a hame of my own, [I paid for the last baby, I paid for three operations. I've pald grocery bills, ete. Besides the little ones at home there are several older brothers and sisters who work, They spend their money on cars and themselves, 1 don't think it is their place, though, to pay the bill when my mother has another baby. 1 suppose this next baby will be paid by the Welfare. I'm-in my 20's and engaged to the loveliest, nicest girl in the world, Nothing will stop me from trying to make her happy and I hope that step is making her my wife, I love her so dearly words cannot express my emotions, She is from a clean family and has perfect manners, and taste.

Won't you please help mé, Mrs Manners? re I.am 16 and a senior. mother died when [I was have had the the house, my younger sister, my father, to make him happy. would realize it, 1 through a lot too go on living his

father,

have

faults

If he doesn’t change I'm afraid won't

I'th lose my boy friend. He even come to the house more, All 1 do Is go home house, fix supper, do home-work

any

and go to hed. He calls me every

clean

1 intend to

I'm

. | réquire child. T don’t think

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nudging, you know, “Miss R.” ' You'd think a boy friend of an Infelligent, courageous girl like you could figure out how to win your father's friend-

ship. Maybe you can very tactfully challenge him to win it

| and help him. He may be ex-

My 11. 1 responsibility of and my I think a_lot of I have done my best If he only heen How ean 1 down?

night, but I don’t think that is enough. We never stayed out after 10 o'clock. My father doesn't seem

to want me to go with any boys He seems to be jealous, not once run my sister's friends off,

You may think I am too young all boy is with think he breeding thinks a-tot-of me, too: He won't She has all-the quall- come

have this I went

to be in love, 1 met, types and am sure the type for me, him five months, 1 hecause

down now

ties I ever hoped to find in one afraid of saying something out

girl. She is a real lady. I only hope I can prove myself worthy of her love, This problem sickens me to the bottom of my heart, Would I be justified in moving to escape family responsibilities? I would like to take my wife far away from this mess,

DISCOURAGED.

A full, happy life should be onr payment for being given the favor of living. Permitting people to keep us from doing

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Lose the girl and a home of your own and you would be resentful. You and your family wouldn't get along. Shouldering responsibilities Tor a lazy father wouldn't make him work, Tell your family frankly and kindly, they are on their own, Tell your girl frankly and briefly. without apology, about the circumstances. A well bred girl wants a well bred: man and showing shame of family isn’t good breeding. : 1 think yon would be justified in moving away. Distance between relatives and in-laws is a good idea, I'm thinking of a lovely wom-

ie world. and. enieving. 2

an who became a martyr, She |

hopped up, servilely, the minute |

they came home. They hadn't asked her to but soon expected the services. . Then her widowed militant mother moved in. She could have afforded a nice home for elderly people. She complained

about her daughter's constant | service. She wouldn't have com- | plained in a home because she |

likes to impress people.

Finally the daughter decided |

to assert herself but it was too late, When her husband died she returned to business, paying for A woman to look after her mother. The militant mother rebelled and drove away several women, The danghter stayed home,

Two people are, miserable. .

Guests leave fast when quarrels start. The mother Is constantly greedy for power. The daughter, unappreciated, regrets giving it to her. The good turn she set out to do isn't a good turn for any one.

Trouble With Dad .

MY friend off twice. a mother to tell my troubles to

father has run my boy 1 do not have

of place to dad. I have never been felt for and never hope to be, Mrs. Manners, what can I You might think I don’t give my-

but

self a chance to go with other night but 1 refuse, wafting for that one

boys. I get calls every

important call.

R.. CITY. A couple of men need a little joit, 1 think, Men usually do

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He has boy

he's

sorry

do?

citing and sound brave over the telephone, but he gives up easily. You wouldn't stay in

love with him if you weren't | proud of him. To make youn

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proud he musi have your respect, Because you've had a lot of responsibility it would be Aempting to. pick on an adventuresome, impractical hoy, quite different from you. Maybe that's the type this boy is and your father knows he wouldn't do for you. I think we ought to know the reasons he told the hoy to scram, don't yon? I do want your father to appreciate your work, Skip » few of his comforts occasionalIv. Let him miss yon. A lot ean he accomplished over a friendly cup of coffees at the kitchen table. Make the occasion seem unplanned and be enjoyable. Soon It may become a ritual and a place to really get acquainted. Learning men and their worth and. intentions takes awhile. You've tearmed about a house very young but that isn’t quite like getting the right man and getting him to the altar. Your father fine daughter like you deserves the best. If the bey is the

best and loves you, he'll prove |

it to your fiather,

Let Mrs. Manners and readers of The Times share your problems. Write in care of The Times, 214 W. Maryland St,

ELDRIDGE H. NICHOLS

MA. 3800

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