Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 20 September 1949 — Page 12

_ THE INDIA NAPOLIS TIMES

| As a writer; I'm a failure.

have to pay for them.

An embittered failure, that's what I am. Why, how {could I ever write a novel? 1

: couldn't pose for pipe-smoking pictures! Mae Murray is the cause of all | Telephone MA. 7561 mv sadness When 1 was a boy, Miss Mur

ray, then in the movies, gave a

JLA NDRY testimonial to ‘a pipe or’ tobacco ’ . . corspany,

love to see a man smoke a or Mae, who was wearing, I believe, a negligée, proclaimed {from the pages of many maga zines. Boy that I was, 1 figured out [that if I wanted to get next to | girls who wore negligees (which! {I did), I had to take up pipe[smeking.

. n ALL THESE years since, the picture of Mae Murray in her | negligee has been before me, driving me on to smoke a pipe. | But I've never found one that {didn't burn my tongue. I hear |men talking: about “sweet” pipes { Liars! | 1 can see, right here in my office, four pipes, all very. vile. | I've thrown away about 50 or | 60 pipes, but when I see Aldous Huxley, John O'Hara, Kathleen | Winsor Margaret O’Brien or other literary lights smoking | pipes in the N. Y. Times book sec- { tion—1 hustle out to a tobacconist for a new pipe 1 even found a a Book: “Hints to, Pipe Smokerg® : “There aint no 0 such book.” -. say. Oh, yes, there is, and there's one called “101 Ways to Improve Your Knitting” (if it's literature

» Morris Plan ‘Investment Certificates you're looking for),

i “ ing in” the new pipe is earn 3% interest per year from day issued. ” “Boughing ia the new

“Before smoking your pipe

v Certificates mature in 6 months and are for the frat time,” : * say, ays “ eo © 3 automatically renewed for additional 6 Sutosten he MIR GE WL month periods, if desired. Be tle. ager (4

happens to be my favorite fin-

» Morris Plan Investment Certificates are ger) and 1 moistened it til it got rusty, but my pipes still

issued in multiples of $1,000. fast ie a city dump 1 luded that: Pipe-smoking » Come in and ask for Mr. Williams for ne a erase

further ona ! in the world.

But my tragedy was that I had failed Mae Murray Not long ago I confessed the | truth to Mae. . . I told her.I knew | she loved to See a man smoke a -| pipe™na I had treed) BL well. « 1 started’ to’ whimper aa vl

3 | S J 4 ) b 3! N ¢ | 0 4 ; i of vou,” Mae sald.

“But how did you know I liked | pipes?”

It Happened Last Night— : [Earls Pearls No Success Without a Pipe ||

Scems Writer Must Smoke Smelly Things to Hit Top

Don't argue! Don't honey me up that my column is of “Blackouts” enjoyed Marshall | simply grand, and my books worth reading, even if you

As a writer, I'm a failure—because I can 't smoke a pipe. |Lindy's back: from his longest"

Murray sald. It was probably

one. of those testimonidls that FEEL GLUM

somebody dreamed up. Anyway

matter of fact, I HATE PIPES.” Chewing-Gum Laxative

» fF . | The Midnight Earl | $laxative—do this.

to sign Jack Dempsey, Billy Rose,| Toots Shor and Walter Winchell! ach, but only when farther along in the for “The Johnny Broderick Story"

Young and Rubicam) had a boy

{started a booking agency that LD so _e

Tafly Tuttle isn't so dumb; she told Ted Young, “A young girl like me has a lot of bride ideas.”

on my fingers,

places him for club dates, Franchot Tone and Pat Williams

Grant's piano at the Little Club. + Estelita signed a five-picture-a-year deal with Republic, . .. Leo

EE — vacation in years—four weeks at | Lake Placid’. , , Irving Berlin {helped swell the crowd at Bok City for Louis Armstrong's closing. Louis Is off on a 28-day ° | Scandinavian tour, . . . Eddie Davis, the writer, is having a reading of his new play. | » » » WISH I'D SAID THAT: Peter Donald: “Barkley may be Presi-| dent of the Senate, but if he gets married, he won't be Speaker of the House!” | "nw | TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: Co-

| | ' | median Joe E. Lewis at the C opa-|

Mae Murray

in eres wont IR L403 0) 3 FLAKY

*.Y don wo. one «avs COME AND YOU

| wasn't true, because as a Try This Delicious |

Me, too k © When you roll and tess all night feel | headachy and just awful because you need

hew rEsN-A-MINT delicious chewingWHAT'S HOT: RKO would like gum laxative. The action of FEEN-A-MINT'S spacial medicine "“psrouns” the stomach, That is, it'doesn’t act while In the stom-

lower digestive tract... where you want it to act. You feel fife again quickly! . The Ken Dykes (he's v.p. of, And scientists say chewing makes TREN-A-MINT'S fine medicine more effec tive ~ “readies” it so it flows gently into

. Frank Berle and Irving Grey

cabana complains that some people from Ohio came in, had some drinks with him, and they got! Awfully drunk.. drunk,” he says, “that when they went out of the joint, they stepped

eauipition Faces at~ Burgpean

a. Williams met an “actress who's so elocution-conscious—in * restaurant she asks-for syno- + + + THAT'S EARL,

» ” » + » » Lisa Kirk BAR BUZZ: A prop dropped on up and told us Kathryn Lee's head during “an that nowadays “Ag the Girls Go” the real movie her doc says she'll be OK. . . . ' Wefoss nie Plastic Surgeon Gregory L. [ guys whe sit jock took over sponsorship of a Lisa Kirk through dou- ‘middleweight Ron e ;

gree By Earl Wilson | ble features. Si ity, Roosevelt NEW YORK, Sony 20—1 have a confession to make. books acts for Milton Berle and :

LOCAL MAN GRADUATED Charlés M. Cuffel, son of Mrs. 4522 Farnsworth' Ave., was graduated from Valpa-

raiso Technical Institute, ValpaRaceway's prize

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WASHI! Congressme day. ¥ hops vacation ti They've got The me! days ago fo fishing rods they never They ma twice a’ wes with the m sentatives | These s¢ plished not! minutes aft history is « troubled su So now person fron men and tr in spirit, ar

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