Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 9 September 1949 — Page 6

p Happened Last Night— : AllenSneaks ‘Into Hollywood

‘Portland's’ Baptism Beats Down Natural Aversion,

By Earl Wilson NEW YORK, Sept. 9—Many a man will be drying babies this week—but Fred Allen will be helping wet one.

Considering I was constipated for SN Years and and laxatives gave me no rel amazing to find auting KELLOGG'S S

LL-BRAN daily The Colossal christening” of the James Masons’ Juugh. Reload meso much” ter, Portland, occurs Friday in Hollywood, s0 Fred an 0 Mn B . Aikledge, land (the godmother) are flying out, despite Fred's aversion Vista, arington, to Hollywood “the land of ‘milk and honeys, thé city where Horie. sual > the men are mostly cads and fornia sun cools off, it turns out ters Roan ALL- the women are mostly pads.’ to be, an Spall, ne i gral el lack of bulk Fred has ‘long since pro- yy are eo in the diet, t this: eat an ounce of claimed that the only way to be there crisp ALL'BRAN every day, drink nan. in California is to be an! ."I'm just going to see the No. Pent 44 NT 18 But pati hg orange, and that people who stay 2 Production of Portland get

launched, but I won't stay’ Fred, who's my neighbor, has just told me, [ “I've no desire to see the California sun shining on unemployed actors. I'll soon be one myself,” ‘he sald.

Kellogg's, Battle Creek, Mich DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK]

there get to look like

Besides

avocados, he says when the Cali-

Little Girl's,

OXFORDS

for Rough Winter

Fred Allen

“Wasn't there a delay in the christening?” 1 asked Fred. “Yes. Because of the California drought and hot weather, there wasn't enough water available for the baptism. We're taking our own water with us.” I

Saddle Pan ”

FRED HAD just returned from his summer vacation when 1 talked to him, and was so tan that several horses mistook him for a saddle, I learned of Fred's return to 7th "Ave. from Max Asnas, the pastrami prince, the sturgeonaire, whose ‘Stage Delicatessen Fred J had visited at once. “Fred's back!” Max announced, and I asked how he looked. Max, whose figures of speech naturally run to food, said: “As brown as

4 BIG STORES

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a bagle!” 259 E. Washington St. 346 W. Washington St. TE Open Saturday Nights Till 8 West of Senate “YES,” said Fred, when I asked’ 140 E. Washington §1. 1063 Virginia Ave. him about it, “I rushed all over Near Delaware St, Open Nights Till 8.30 town very quickly because |

wanted everybody to know I'd been away, and those New Jersey tans don’t last long.” “Are you sticking to your plan [ not to work this year? "Oh, sure,” Fred said. |. “When .I left radio,” he said, ‘I bequeathed Doc Rockwell, my of fréquent guest “star, fo Henry J Morgan, and asked Henry to take. | care of him. Henry hasn't a spon- | sor and {if television keeps on; { Doc Tr have to take care of | both of us.”

+ » I “HOW AR.. 11 as iked, Fred. | “I'll work on my mail,” Fred said. “I get a lot of letters panning me for my attitude on give-

———

0 ———— a ——

take home a 12-can Pikup-Pak for the weekend!

Ld - \ o-+0g to rest?”

aways, “Some of them insult me, and I tell them, ‘I've been insulted

| by people who can spell. 1. “By the way,” I said, “what do you think of ‘television by. now | “I think,” Fred said. “that TV stands for Tired Vaudeville" + « That's Earl, brother.

alibi

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