Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 28 August 1949 — Page 29

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told that my appearance caused a citement almost immediately, Womthe offices asked to see the folders. Peothe elevators stopped. to beat Jack out of a quarter?” & man standing on the outer ring of the 8 Sd married. Ruth Haines, Broadway, a nurse in the Marion County Board of Health, came very close to buying a marriage license folder.

31 {iis

The Rev. 8imon 8. Thomas, 408 N. California St... the “marrying deacon of the courthouse,” hed me to see how business was. or "bout ‘throwing a little my way? I Louie Faccone, who operates the lunch counter inside the building, asked if I cared for a sandwich. Even he was soliciting business.

' Not for Free

NEW YORK, Aug. 27—I have been plucking nervously at the story of the man who won the -$15,000 house for a 50-cent prize ticket but couldn’t afford to keep it because he had no place to put it. There is a moral in here somewhere, and I aim to

a house, wins a fine yellow two-story job, fully furnished, for a 50-cent gamble. This is America, Jand of opportunity, everybody lives happily ever after. Who wins a ?

Uncle Wants Cash, Not Cottages

WHAT CAN you give a man who wants a cut of a house for the Bureau of Internal Revenue?

Can you give him the guest bedroom? Will

So Mr. Birnbaum sells his house for a grateful grand, one 15th of its worth, to a fellow with a place to put it, and the buyer, & Mr. Herbert Braash, agrees to cover the parking lot fee. But what kind of a Cinderella story is this? Smels. - I can only say that it is a pretty fine sermon to the effect that very few things are ever free; that there's most always a clinker buried in the manna; that the Lord giveth and the tax collector taketh away. :

| Something Smells -By Frederick C. Othman

bargain . "Mr. Inside" ‘tries fo. interest Ruth in buying a marriage license

No Laws Broken :

COUNTY Commissioner a good laugh for himself piece sandwich sign. He any law by whica he could toss me out of the courthouse. That's what comes of being licensed. Always on the move, my main locale was front of the county clerk’s office. Clerk Glenn Parrish hurt me to the quick once when he glared and snapped: “Only a cheap, tinhorn 8.0.B. would pull a stunt like that.” Temper, temper, . I tried to explain how legal my venture was but Mr. Parrish wouldn't hold still. And him with no peddler's license yet. : One man bought a 20c folder from me. He said he was going to send it to his girl. He thanked me for trying to bring the prices down. Oh, let it be understood that I didn’t high-pressure the man into gh ; It was with a t deéal of reluctance that I had to leave. Leave without seeing my competitor who reportedly was at Lake Wawasee on business. That's the way it goes. You have to either hustle or be established to make an honest dollar,

¢ © 9 ; -8ay, you old neighbors of Indiatapolis. ‘The New Neighbors League sent me 68 requests, 68 fine vo'es for “You, Too.” Wonderful, new neighbors, I'll tell the world. So, that makes 1480 this fine Aug. 28.

By Robert C. Ruark

Sometimes, when I take down with the reflective flutters, I think a story like this isn’t too bad

a commentary on the current governmental trend cay

of giving e to everybody, regardless of fitness to handle the gift. We have been so lavish in our efforts to pelt the common man both here and abroad with unearned increment that we have sometimes neglected to check on his capacity to utilize the gift, or the tailoring of thé gift to fit his individual needs. A free house that cost $15,000, sold for $1000 to an opportunist, shows a loss of $14,000 to the donors—and the man for whom the house) was designed still has no house. : It's here that I wonder what percentage of the

free houses we have expended in the attempted reconstruction of the western world have gone to

rack, or to the pawnbroker, or to the speculator|

with cash on hand? The present pattern is to declare, paternally, that every man needs a house, and to give him one, without knowing or even caring whether he needs a house, whether he has a place to put a house, or whether he wouldn't be better off if you showed him how he could build his own. Liability in Disguise THERE IS nothing so worthless as a house with no place to light. It becomes, then, a Hability instead of a gift, for the penalty for storage of a useless commodity quite often outweighs the value of the gift. > The penalty for receiving a free load is often hidden, at the time, and does not become apparent until the tax collector comes around to call, Then one discovers he has paid a premium for a nonessential gift, < . For your kind attention, I thank you, brethren. It may comfort the congregation to know that I only traffic in parables in the dog-days of Auggust in years ending with the figure 9.

WASHINGTON, Aug. 27-—There is a’ lady named Miss Truman. That's every last thing I know about her. I have no idea what is her first name, or why Honest John Maragon tried to smuggle in a couple of Paris gowns with part of her name. on ‘em. They were sleazy dresses, as it developed, valued by Honest John, himself at $24 each. The tale of the frocks for Miss Truman, the champagne for a White House cop that turned out to be perfume oil (orange flavored), and other ftems almost as interesting unfolded jerkily av a rose in a slow-motion movie before the Senate investigating committee. The story seemed to amuse Mr. Maragon, the one-time habitue of the White House, who stood with a smile and a cigaret on his lips for an hour and a half during the telling thereof. He stood because he couldn't find a seat in the jam-packed committee room; neither couid 300 would-be spectators lined up in the marble hall éutside.

Customs Examiner Skeptical HONEST JOHN, in any event, came home

. from Europe on July 31, 1945, strolled ‘off the

plane in New York with five pieces of luggage, and declared that the only dutiable merchandise he'd brought along was a camera worth $8.40 and a bottle of perfume valued at $47. V. C. Schug, the demon customs examiner, rummaged through Hagest John's dirty shirts and came up with two well-wrapped' packages. What were these? Honagt John sald they were gifts from the embassy. Which embassy, he did not

Officialdom decided to give Honest John a break, by allowing him to amend his declaration. He wrote down, two dresses for Miss Truman, value $48, and four bottles of champagne for Mr. George Drescher, value $40. “Examiner, Schug ripped open the package addressed to Miss Truman and found twn dresses,

Broad Ripple to Honor Public Health Aid Bill Passes Senate

WASHINGTON, Aug. 27 (UP) K. V. Ammerman, who will re-|_The Senate approved legislation may HE i reek &hPrincipal of theltoday to provide federal aid. tol7 I 0 the total outlay of $1.50 Broad Ripple High School, willithe states for establishing andleach of the participa local be honored at a reception in the/maintaining local public health units, ° ting >

Retiring Principal

school gymnasium Tuesday at|units, 7300p. m. :

Puplls, alumni, ts ang|Cluding all members of the Labor would friends have been invited. Com

Sponsored by 21 Senators, in-féhe

3 jhe Sedule ex rovisions - in. existing ealth Service Law and sets out|administration recomm under te ate the Sena rs . It now sured te that it had no ' the House. relation to President Truman's

all right, except that he valued them at $50 each. I hesitate to question the Custom Bureau's knowledge of dressmaking, but another witness before the Senate in not-so-secret session sald these frocks were of such no-account character that his own wife, at least, wouldn't wear ‘em. But let's return to Honest John's y The inspector had his jack-knife out to slice into the bundle for Mr, Drescher, Honest John brandished his White House card and said the champagne wasn't addressed to just any old George

Drescher, but to the chief of the White House|

Secret Service himself, : Examiner Schug was not impressed. He opened the champagne, but found no bubbly. He discovered instead two heavy tin cans, The inspector unslung his trusty can-opener and went to work. ‘The cans contained French orange oil for perfume-making purposes, This was valued-at $100 per poun dand Honest John was valued at $100 per pound and Honest John The customs agents collected $65 as duty on those dresses, but they kept Honest John's ofl. The duty on this, if he had declared it, was h

Charges Dropped for. $1500 HONEST JOHN offered’ the customs agents $800 if they'd give him back his oil. They refused.

He raised the ante to $1500 and the government|

accepted, handing him his ofl, and forgetting the smuggling charges. . Sen, Joseph R. McCarthy, Republican of Wisconsin, sald the Justice Department should have confiscated the oil and prosecuted him as a smuggler. He demanded the records from the Attorney General. Sen. Clyde R. Hoey, Democrat of North Carolina, said the customs agents frequently let city slickers off with the payment of such penalties, Honest John, who'd found a seat by now and who had his tan beaver hat on his knee, continued to smile. Next witness: John Maragon, himself, In person. We may find out yet who got those Paris gowns. :

‘Sen. Lister Hill (D. Ala.), to Senate the proposed

nds year. blic] While the measure carries out ns,

endatio; Sen. Robert A. (R. 0.), as-

national health in.

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hurry after they the airport restaurant here. They swarmed all- over the place, screaming in corridors and running up and down outdoors.

Blame Bad Teeth

ne fe On Civilization . CHICAGO, Aug. 27 (UP)-—If you are a regular victim of the dentist's drill, blame it on civilization. . Dr, Paul E. Boyle, writing in the Journal of the American Den-| tal Association, reported that few of the teeth found by students of] .-

~ Peace Chapel

HARRY W. MOORE

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AND NO OTHER WILL OFFER THE PERSONAL SERVICES OF HARRY W. MOORE *

CERN

This change became necessary . . . it was humanly impossible “for Mr. Moore fo meet the demands on his time while serving : in five chapels. So he now limits himself fo the one... ea Lie ef Peace Chapel. The leases on the thers have been given up go]

By limiting his services fo Peace Chapel alone . . . closer 3 attention to those intimate details will result . . . along with the : economies of better management . . . all of which will be reflected

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primitive man show signs of de-

The chief factor in modern man’s trouble with his teeth, Dr. Boyle said, stems from his diet: he focuses his on carbohydrates, especially sugar,

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