Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 8 May 1949 — Page 29

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"knocked everybody's eye out with their sky-blue trousers

Z8SUNDAY, MAY 8, 1949

‘Potomac Patter |

cps So s — = braid in the place to pay off the Ethopian national debt when the White House military aides their Tru-

falling into drinks. Besides plenty of booze, there was some elegant grub served up by the steward of the President's private boat; the USS Williamsburg. This included the usual postage-stamp size sandwiches for the girls, but also a modest truck-load of roast tur-

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Force orchestra giving with the waltzes and nordes of pretty girls going about smiling prettily. The Air Force musicians, incidentally,

“coats and dark . Mr. T. left the heavy 2 guzzling to the rest of the boys — all he had was = one bourbon highball. ® & ¢

LIKE A lot of other husbands with busy wives, % President Truman must have chewed on plenty of = canned hash lately because Bess sure has been

niki wi = Hoosier Army Pilot Writes From drew Tull sier y $ Fro By Andre Tu "Equator Country in South Pacific

should have been; we landed and|

PAGE 20 Our recent fire in the woodworking ee 4

department hos caused no delay in our fence con. ~~ struction.and we are in Business the usual

Lt. George Bales Tells His Experiences het Lice: Goes G. | “Fence to Stoy — The Hoosier Woy.” While Flying With 18th Fighter Wing | (Bob) Bales is the srandson of | By LT. BOB BALES . Dana, Ind. Lt ee WE HAD been milling around in this Equator country for days.| flying with the 18th Fighter | ¥

We could have just followed the on west and run right into, Billiton; but with our reliable na we cut actoss the wilds of southern Borneo and found our little iftand about two hundred miles north of Java. Biliiton is the name of a town on the island of Billiton. I have crossed the Equator dozens of times and had never, seen this place before. oe = in = ws Seliow not Jelisve Thoin after he ie | coup hundred. as Two ow! on them. I secon uae 4 cdupie - no one fangs about an inch long hung! in a series of articles Lt. Bales would ever know the difference. Out of the bat's mouth. The black 1s writing for The Times, de{webbing of his wings looked like tailing the experiences of a

But our island was right where it| = "oo 0 104 rubber sheeting. = Hoosler on peacetime service in

Tnoved in With our Air Force bud-| The. native told ug that these! 8 Part of the world which is dies. We had a bed and a full DIg bats fly over the igland at Just about as iar away as any. | {ible waiting for us. The Dutch night in great flocks. I'thought; one can be from home on this | furnished the quarters. /maybe that strong tea had some. Planet. |

Sure it was hot, but it rained thing to do with what 1 had seen and Dad would finally agree every hour on the hour. Of course 314 heard, so I switched to water. us go fishing the ay day . In i the water-works in the local bath-| Shiba ‘would hoe smart weeds when we room was & little peculiar to city MY LAST DAY IN Billiton was got back. Of course, we never slickers, but for a Hoosier like the longest. It was too hot to did get that done or would arrange me it was about like going swim- work and too hot to sleep. All day to go fishing the next day too. I.

"LAWN FENCE

LAMPS

ASTI ETY LY ETL TEES TOILE TTY DELS O00OE ONO LORAINE SEATON ET HT TR HT IT an AEA OL EET AREER EEL ROA TEER OTA RETA

= doing some: galivanting. One day it was the tea

SERBER RT ULERY ERR

party given by the White House Spanish Class, the next a U. 8.-Chamber of Commerce lunch, and the third day a luncheon given for her by the 74th Club, made up of wives of members of the 74th Congress. Just about: now the President must be whimpering about how long ‘it's been since he sank his teeth into a good steak.

: Accent Is on Accent

THAT SPANISH CLASS tea not only was real

= cultural, but it gave the members a chance to try « put their accents on some assorted Latin-Ameri-

cans. Then, after everybody had swigged plenty of tea, the Voice of America broadcast a program

= of speeches in Spanish by a bunch of honor stu-

dents — Mrs. Robert A. Taft, Mrs. Tom Connally and Mrs. Leverett Saltonstall, wives of the Sena-

< tors from Ohio, Texas and Massachusetts. 4 9

Senator Edward Martin of Pennsylvania is worried about a letter he got the other day. It read: “I was killed by a two-pound shell in World War I please tell me how I go about getting a gamion,”. ¢ ©

THERE ARE probably more frustrated cops in

Under international agreement, it's all right for diplomats to park their cars in front of hydrants

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making their life here happy. Of-course, the same privileges are extention) 3 on diplomats abroad.

THE WORLD'S most expensive ham was won recently by a Southern Congressman. He got it as

. a prize at a delegation get-together, lugged it * home and invited so many friends in to help him eat it that he was lucky to get a couple of-slices

for himself. ; A few days later, the Chamber of Commerce

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FERRE ELSES

Howlin’ Ed

asked him how about dedicating our new building.

“ Naturally, he couldn't refuse. All it cost him to * make the trip was 2.

® \ The Republicans must be getting tired of being left out of all those swanky Democratic brawls. The other day former Senator and Mrs. Davis Elkins of West Virginia gave a cocktail party for Indiana's mew lady representative, Cecil Harden, and everybody there was a Republean. Indiana’s two Senators, Homer Capehart and Bill Jenner, helped run the show.

Ed Sovola, author of Inside Indianapolis, is on vacation

‘and the cabinet—but the Secret Service was mad.

IF SENATOR Bob Taft keeps it up even the Democrats will have to’ admit he's getting the common touch. At a U. 8. Chamber of Commerce dinner the Senator walked over to salvage his hat, then discovered he’d lost his check. After about 15 minutes of hectic rummaging, the hat check girl finally unearthed the Senatorial fedora, whereupon Mr. Taft turned to Mrs. Taft and asked her if she had any money. She didn’t. So while lookers-on

ming at the Mill Dam, At one end the locusts screamed from the am nine years behind with my PPOST of the bath house there was a big jungles. They put out an ear- fishing now, but as long as I get! “ LAM open concrete tank filled with splitting sound much shriller than Soh to prove my oe ERECTED COMPLETE IRON PORCH water. lour Midwestern variety. Seemed I guess that is just about as good. or MATERIAL ONLY RAILS

The bathing process is simple.|/like every tree was full of wailing Take a bucket of water and dump; locusts, it upon you, complain to the next I almost wore myself out trying in line about getting your wrist/to find one of them, but they watch wet, fight the mosquitoes would quit squawking every time and hurry and get through, Of I got within seeing range. Recourse, the standard Equator gag minded me of the late summer is about the dumb GI who didn’t evenings at home when the locusts know to dip the water out ofitrilled away in our big maples;

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the tank with a bucket; so he took) his bath right in the tank. Can't! say that I blame him a bit. | { {

” ss 8

I WAS forced to hurry my bath! along because I wanted to be first| to eat. We were all hungry. An Indonesian boy was the chief cook! and bottle washer, He was bare-| footed with his cap on. | After supper, I rode down to the water hole with the boys to get a trailer full of water. This is a wild native jungle country.

giggled, the Senator dug up a dollar bill from a secret wallet and tipped the gal two bits. >

I's Nice to Be a Congressman YOU CONSTITUENTS back home don’t realize what a tough life Congressmen lead—why, sometimes they have to go to two cocktail parties in one afternoon! TN The day the Congressional Club gave a big reception for House Speaker Sam Rayburn, most of the poor guests had to go from there to a mammoth feast put on by Admiral Louis Denfeld, Chief of Naval Operations. It was enough to bring tears to your eyes to watch the poor legislators manfully trying to stow away respectable helpings of the admiral’s hot turkey and ham, shrimps, hot cod- Unless the land has been cleared, fish balls and smoked oysters. it 1s almost impossible to see day-| . eo © 9 light through the jungles. We drove down a little twisty rdad| buried deep under giant overhang- 3 ing trees. It was getting cool now and the orange of the eve-| ning sun painted the tops of the| thunderheads far to the east of us. i We were going to see the monkeys any minute now and we rolled over the next hill, we saw about thrée dozen monkeys playing in the road. As we approached,

A bunch of Congressmen sponsored a feed the other day for a vice-president—and for once his name wasn’t Barkley. The guest was Salvatore Aldisio, vice-president of the Italian Senate, and his hosts were a group of Italian-American Representatives. . @

® IT'S GETTING so no Washington party can make the newspapers unless it sports at least two whisky bars. Even the Indian Embassy served | the drinks at two locations at the party for its military mission. Another social must is to have | your flowers flown in from Hawaii—the latest them. they went screaming into batch to arrive was for the Congressional Club's the blackness-of the jungles. fashion show. n au: 8 MRS. PERLE (Let's Throw a Party) Mesta was a happy gal the other night when she entertained at dinner for President and Mrs. Truman

little bridge over a stream. Perched high above us ina glant| tree was a row of big black monkeys, I have never seen such tails. on monkeys. With all my might I threw a rock up into! this big tree but it crashed into the vine§ abdut forty feet below this monkey audience.

Seems the news of the dinner got out in advance and the bodyguard had to take all kinds of special precautions. ¢ 4 KANSAS CONGRESSMEN are a lot more relaxed now that their State has repealed its prohibition law. They can go to as many cocktail parties as they want to without having to worry about the hard to explain, for within a few news seeping back to thirsty constituents. seconds these monkeys had) passed right over us and melted] into the jungle on the other side!

of the road. They had jumped a| B R b $ C R k fifty foot gap to reach the tree tops on the opposite side . . . | y Kober « RUQFK FF iid stim hear the monkeys screaming back through the)

NEW YORK, May 7—It seems we have now

"heard everything in the way of calamity howling ~ from Capitol Hill. The latest gust comes direct - from the gullet of Sen. Ed Jackson of Colorado,

who tells us that if the Russians decide to aban-

" don the muscle and make friends, “there would

be hell to pay economically.” “But for the cold war,” the Senator tells the

~ United States Chamber of Commerce, “the present = economic situation in the U. 8S. would be alarming. * He says that “foreign ald and military programs

“ will be launched on the

depression with high prices.

are maintaining an economic fool's paradise.” Then he says that if the military spending spree is not drastically curtailed by next year we “wildest inflationary binge in history, which will result in a depression with high prices.”

Reasonable Deductions BY ATTEMPTING to reduce this to common English I would deduce that the Senator means (1) if we are forced to quit government spending to fend off the Bolsheviks we would have so much money we would go hog wild and blow it all in or (2) that unless we do quit government spending we will have so much money we will go hog wild and blow it all in or (3) if we keep spending we will have a depression and (4) if we don’t keep spending we will have an inflation and/or a depression. And finally, whatever that is, we will have a This I got to see.

~ Nobody ever saw one before.

I pretend very little knowledge of the me-

“ chanics which send bread, board and Buicks to * the masses, but the kindergarten axiom used to

be that wars, or threats of wars, upset the economic digestion and peace romped happily with

: prosperity.

But if a state of raised hackle with the Soviets

". {8 necessary to stabilize our economy I must

. have been reading the wréng primer.

“Thar's Gold

Evidently

jungles as we parked by the) water-hole, | 4 na’ { AFTER we had put in a week's reserve of bath water and shut the chickens up; I slipped off to| bed. We had hot tea for break-|

the common man is unfit to be trusted with the heaping horn of peace, for fear he'll blow it too loud and upset everything. International nervous prostration is vital to the balance of the budget, the man says. If we are now living in a fool's paradise. I should hate to spend much time in a smart man's purgatory. Simple, trusting little me, who once was taught that high taxes are bad, imminent

forces expensive, and that spending the family's haq them pass the bread and savings on strangers is apt to deplete the national jam, Couldn't go wrong on this cupboard. Shows how stupid you can be. | combination. |

Mr. Baruch's Views

BUT IF I'm stupid, Bernard M. stupid along the same lines. Simple, trusting Mr. Baruch has writtén that the threat of war is a murderer of individual economic opportunity. Mr. Baruch says neryous people don't want to build houses and sink money in business ventures. They figure it’s foolish to build a house or start a business if somebody is likely to come along next week and blow it up. Therefore, Mr. Baruch wrote, you can't do much business and cut government costs and plump up the national income unless there is| | some mild guarantee that next summer will see that Tawi tehed to crackers after you unbombed. And he wrote that one of the Er prime requirements of prosperity is security. This does not seem to jibe with Sen. Johnson's philosophy. Whatever will we do, now that we are threatened with peace? Can we exist without a menace of war to keep our economic ducks in a row? If we cut some taxes and pay back some debts, will that leave so much money that us irresponsible | kiddies will spend it all on sodas and barber-pole| candy? JI dunno. Ask Ed Johnson. Perhaps the best thing to do will be to just haul off and declare a permanent state of cold war. This will keep the military working, the budget in line, and thereby preserve the state we have come to know as normalcy.

peanut. Of course, it was a tired| weevil that had gone to sleep in| the flour bin. I held the slice of bread up to the light and spotted four more breaded down weevil. 1 started multiplying the number of slices of bread by five just to see how many weevil I had eat-|

had some sort of a record here

about the size of its weevil as well ‘as bats. Both seem to be in| abundance on this isolated island. 1f I told you I saw a bat with a wing span of five feet 10 inches,

I have

first mention of a record. 1 learned that from one of my own! fishing exploits. I am referring to the 19-pound lobster I caught

back up my story with the pic-

ture I carry with me. | Well, I have a picture of this

‘By Frederick C. Othman|siast bat wo. This species of

{bat lives mainly on fruit and

WASHINGTON, May 7—My subject today is

. gold, which has been causing wars and other + miseries, including mashed fingers, for a long, « long time.

Up for consideration was a bill to permit a

: free market in gold here in the United States

and such double-talk as those bankers, federal’ officials, and intarnational monetary experts were

- giving the Senators you never did hear.

And there was Leland Howard, the assistant

» director of the mint, who has $24.3 billion worth : of the yellow stuff buried in the ground in Ft. . Knox, Ky. He knows more about gold as a pesky . commodity, which has got to be stored, I guess,

Fat

than anybody except Mrs. Nellle Tayloe Ross, his boss. He was standing by to see whether the ts had any ideas of unlocking

fiduciary specialis . the front door of Ft. Knox and I got to talking

to him about the greatest pile of gold in the of the world. .

~ history . Solid Gold Bar Is Slippery

THE trouble with a solid bar of gold, as Mr. Howard sees it, is that it’s slippery. Piling up

2 these bars in the storerooms calls for finesse,

because every time a bar gets a nick, it costs

about 10 cents, more or less, according to size.

Every time a butterfingers dents a bar of gold,

* he invariably dents his own thumb. Mr. Howard,

who probably has labored with more gold in more parts of the world than anybody else, was showback exactly how gold bars

he treats it with reverence, but after he sweats

Well, sir, we are getting so much gold in Ft. |) Ot being an authority on bats, I Knox—an estimated 70 a. cent of » there 1s can’t say whether this was a fruit in the world—that the walls are growing bulgy. 08% o a vampire or both. A naLatest expedient has been to unscrew the lamp lve Prought it up to the shack bulbs in the ceilings of the vaults and so make 13 ering that he had found it room for another. couple of layers of gold bricks. ® ong t ® road. Each one weighs 28 pounds. I asked Mr. i ed itself by hitting the power Howard why he didn’t mold ‘em with thumb holes, mea dt like bowling balls, but I got no satisfactory a oO le convincing myself answer. He said that $1 million worth of gold |» Mos Be saw, so I took the weighs a ton and fits nicely into a lady's hat box. fy ure Jrove it. he ody of He added that the federal government would make poo VFR Wes AS OE as a a gift of such a package to anybody who could ston bull-dog, and the head as pick it up, but I gathered that this was a Joke, Advertisement

Just So Much Heavy Stuff FREE OFFER For

WHEN a fellow first starts working with gola,| Deafened Persons For people who are troubled by| with it a while, it is just so much heavy stuff hard-of-hearing, this may be the that will strain his sacroiliac, unless he’s careful. means of starting a new, full life, I wondered how often my favorite government —with all the enjoyment of ser-| official, Mrs, Ross, had to clean off her pile of mons, music, friendly compan-| gold with a feather duster. Mr. Howard said shelonship. It is a fascinating | didn’t need to bother with it. That's the one good brochure, called “So That You thing about gold. . {Can Hear Again” and is now Once it is stacked in the rooms with the available without charge. Deaf- | missing lamps, there it is. It doesn’t have to beened pi... 7 Las a) washed, or polished, and mildew has no effect. practical guide with advice and) All it needs is guards. encouragement of great value, If These stand outside with cannon and other you would like a free copy, send lethal items not mentioned by Mr. Howard. And your name and address on a if I only had some room I could tell you what the penny postcard and ask for “So experts told the Senators about gold and its effect That You Can Hear Again.” on us and the rest of the world. On second Write BELTONE, Dept. 18, 1450 thought, maybe it doesn’t matter. As Sen, Harry W. 19th St., Chicago 8, Ill. Also P. Cain of Washington put it, he didn’t understand show this important news to a the present monetary situation and he doubted if friend “who may be hard-of-anybody else did, either. * hearing.

FINALLY we stopped near a

‘What happened after that was |

fast that was the color of coffee. = After doctoring it up in Scotch & fashion with sugar and cream as == war unsettling, maintenance of peak defense pfjjjje Thompson used to do, I'S

{ As-1 was eating my eighth = : |slice of bread'I came across some-| &= Baruch is|thing in my mouth that was soft & and spongy about the size of a =

en in the last two days. Maybe 1/8

I GUESS that Billiton can brag

you would probably laugh at me. == long since found that == peoplé want to see pictures at the &=

with my hands. I always have to @&

{anything else it can get a hold of. §

It had electro- Eg

— HOOSIER...

Values tor the Home!

I ETS:

TICE] You Liked This Bargain in March..So It's REPEATED!

E108

PORCELAIN TF DINETTE TABLE

And 2 Chrome Chairs

Hot cakes never sold any faster. We offered this dinette trio last March at this same sensational low price. SALE after sale— ‘very soon they were all gone. Now, the Factory has let us have a few more. To those who come quickly: A dandy porcelain-top dinette table and two gleaming chrome chairs—all for only $19.95. ‘The table has a handy utility drawer and the sturdy, comfortable chairs are covered with gay, washable. leatherette. The bargain goes to the swift . . . be here early tomorrow morning.

It's a SOFA...It's a BED

Can you imagine a handier piece of Furniture? It's a beautiful daytime sofa, a luxurious nighttime bed. Attractive, durable

Apt. Size GAS RANGE

tapestry cover, expertly tailored. partment. BUY IT NOW-—-SAVE

Big out-of-sight bedding com-

’ Small to fit tiny kitchens, but it turns out REQ. $! DOWN meals with all the efficiency of a stove twice $69 96 its size.. 4 big burners. BUY IT NOW ip AND SAVE $20. $I A WEEK { Re . al

$1 Down 49 ive

CLOTHES HAMPER

Beautiful, well-ven-tilated hamper with an amazingly largs capactly.

gee ve

Gas Hot Plate

Sqts.

Answers Your Overnight Guest Problem

Do you have sleeping accommodations for your out-of-town visitors coming for the 500-Mile Race? If not, here's your solution: A handy rollaway bed that folds into a compact unit for easy storage. All-steel.

Buoyant mattress included.

Medicine Cabinet $38

We're Open Tomorrow Night Til

A LIBBY wy eR) 8h

219 E. WASH. ST —- MA. 1904 — Across From Court Housr