Indianapolis Times, Indianapolis, Marion County, 6 April 1949 — Page 13

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SESSOND SEETION = NEE ARE > | pe = PAGE WS. Indianapolis To Mark Army Day With Visit By Gen. Crittenberger

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off-like a grasshopper. This for the times a man can't aff ute. Ce

The same goes for Alka measly average of 36 inches on

can see the law. of averages is working there Mions_ and if it were the last one in the bottle--

someplace, : On the hard floor a cuff link travels on the

poooof-—complete disintegration. Fravokly, this law of gravitational disappear-

average of 281% inches. Really travels, in other dance has me whipped. It's a known fact that it words. My theory of gravitational disappearance happens, it can be observed and explained how it

oa ‘became evident. Three times the cuff link went happens. But why it happens is a different story.

WE

into a shoe, under the bed. A collar button had a bit more zing. On the —rug the average distance was 12 inches and on the floor, 35 inches, A shirt stud (imitation pearl) went even higher and farther; 16 inches on the rug and 29 inches on the hard floor. Awful tricky. The tie clasp, heaviest object tested, averaged

Sir Isaac was in the same kettle of applesauce. He made his law, observed if work, explained how but never why. Somebody has to give me a hand with this law of gravitational disappearance. Where's Einstein working now? Wonder what he'd have to say about the Jaw of relative gravitational disappearance?

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Era of the Lam

By Robert C. Ruark|

NEW YORK, Apr. 6—It seems we are taking

calamity howlers, who battenéd on crisis, as a

. to eliminate lightning.

down again with a stiff case of normalcy. To means of livelihood, seem almost sad at each sucherald the spring, the first robin nearly collided cessive shrinkage in the cost of living. The view with a plunging broker. A banker went on the lam ers with alarm seem nearly regretful that we are with more than three-quarters of a million worth not, yet, at war. ' of boodle from his bank. It is mindful of the early post-war days, when The professional planners are now in the midst all the experts seemed a touch disappointed that of an as to whether we are heading for the returning GI did not straightway heist a inflation, depression; or just settling down. The filling station or burn down his apartment house, hack drivers—before they struck-—sang a steady song of sadness about the crying absence of Ah, Nasty Old Normalcy generosity in the patrons. ; All sorts of amazing things are happening. that, although some of the vociferous experts First one, then two, then three New York saloon - decry it, we might be embarking on a state which keepers slash the price of beer to a nickel. * once was regarded as richly desirable . . . nasty

The automobile salesman has reared his head old normalcy. This is the odd, foreign state in|# again, and was not, as everybody thought, gone which the ‘nuggets no longer strew the ground,

from the world forever more. Kaiser-Frazer and where the dime has dignity. whacks its auto prices from 10 to 15 per cent. Several other: companies have made so. bold Nas a certain dignity, too—where he no longer as to come right out and print what you can buy claws and fights for the privilege of paying out-

IT WOULD seem to this humble rate-payer i

This would be the state in which the consumer |

hearts of Hoosiers whose boys

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their heaps for, with or without the tinny gadgets landish prices for inferior goods, made honeythey used to tack on to heat the ceilings. sweet by shortage. Apartments are being advertised for rent, once The cowed consumer is overdue to be courted | again. And the New York Stock Exchange, a little gz bit, now. He is due to be petted and winked a nervous about the absence of customers, is making and to have his hankie picked up. an advertising pitch to the common man. I would love to see the return of the five-cent, ffee, the 10-cent hotdog, the 10-cent milkThe Water Is Perfectly Swell a Ce My en! hotaog: the | n COME on in, neighbor, the water's fine. You I would love to see the manufacturers of too can acquire riches through a genteel flutter in everything once more hit a level in which they the market—if you work with the right people. find it necessary to advertise their prices with The stores, from time to time so splendidly, their goods. aloof from the consumer, are beginning to bounce This is. probably reactionary in me, since the a bargain at him every so often now, and regard five straight dips in living-cost already has been him as a fine fellow who might just possibly have hailed by some distended brains as a prelude to a little money on him. Politeness, once fugitive doom. ; from clerks, flowers once again. This growing reluctance of ours, fo buy blindly I have not met an impolite waiter in- ages. and senselessly, hase been labeled as a prelude to They hover over you, now, like unto a bee about recession, depression, disinflation—you name it. a blossom. Yes, sir. No, sir. None of the old The return of five-cent beer may be viewed as a stuff about drop dead, bum. Go somewhere else harbinger of ruin by some, but on me it felt fine. if you don't like it here. If that be either normalcy or treason, make Over all this is a gentle mist of despair. The the most of it. ‘

Geezed Lightnin’ By Frederick C. Othman

WASHINGTON, Apr. 6—Now our government Bureau is spraying selected clouds, as they form,

is riding around in flying machines, squirting with ar jodine compound that draws their fangs. |

jodine on the clouds from oversized eyedroppers Nobody's threatening any lawsuits about that, ’ / Dr. Kotok:' and his associates spent days exThis is a sound idea, because that lightning plaining ta the appropriations committee what aj is dangerous stuff, but what if the government wonderful.thing is a tree, which they said is had been on the job with its iodine 200 years ago? good for food and drink as well as planks. Benjamin Franklin never would have flown his I.don't know when old hickory whisky, made

were there.

World War Il witnessed major changes in artillery. In Europe, the 105-mm.

howitzer, like the one being tow

here, became the most widely employed artillery

piece, replacing the 75-mm. gun of War |. Ex-Gls will recognize his as a training

kite and there'd be no television today or auto- from a boiled down hickory limb, will hit the ‘

matic dishwashers, either, on account of electricity market, but obviously it is on the way. not having been discovered. He » s . Oh, well. Let's listen to the scientists of the Scientists Ge! Serious U. 8. Forest Service, whose principal worry is EVEN NOW, said George W. Trayer, chief of forest fires. ! :

dropping ice on the clouds to produce rain to Into sugar.

order. What they wanted was an automatic sprinkling system on .a cosmic scale to douse those blazes. This seemed to work at least part of the time,

From this they make molasses, alcohol and! yeast, The molasses produces good cattle feed, after the cows get used to the flavor, while the

scientists dre working now. on turning the yeast 3

the Forest Products Division, his experts have] = A couple of years ago they were excited about & plant in Madison, Wis, where they turn trees

Today is the 21st observance of Army Day in the United States. In Indianapolis i will be marked by the visit of Lt. Gen. Willis D. Crittenberger to inspect ROTC units and a downtown parade at 8 p.m. In the Midwest which traditionally observes many kinds of "Days" — Mother's , Father's Day and Memorial Day among them—Army Day hes b

increasingly significant. Scenes likd these military rites on a palm-fringed Pacific island d oo

uring World War Il are close to the

Armored Division 67th Armored

The first U.S, outfit fo reach the Elbe River was the Second (Hell on Whee) ion. TT are oO ae escand Halon : Regiment. Their identiti - were good ones.

ies as soldiers h ve been lost now.

but mere mortals interfered. They threatened suit Into synthetic hamburger for humans. when the aerial ice men kept it from raining in Rep. Walt Horan (R. Wash.) interrupted to one spot, which was expecting a storm, and Say that when he was in Gérmany he saw a plant caused a clondburst down the pike at another, Where drinking Whisky was made from trees. which wasn’t. From Shade yee to highball, he sald, touk the]. “If you take the rain off of one area and Germans ours. "o» . ahd at turn © Toons on ahother you open a great That's nothing, snapped Mr. Trayer. In Madi-| © * Man of, the Your pi fired, Sharded basvokaman b the possibility for litigation” suggested Rep. Jamie Son he can turn the same trick in four hours -name c. Thomas W. Kilgore o con, ‘Ga. Fis eyes tell you L. Whitten (D. Miss.), chairman of the committee fat. I regret to report that he went into no| what the Hurtgen Forest of Germany was like in the winter of 44.45.

which must produce the money for the jodine further detail on how to make a cocktail from! : - squirters, P y 3 “ ' a tree, because that's just one of hundreds of : : sion, Judge Horn ruled that the ' projects he has on tap. 1 | en

shallow water, but the boys soon learned they didn't float. - team was in “imminent anger ROIIWays Hires Ho, Ho, the Whisky Tree * At’ the moment he's working on barn paint, of insolvency, and ordsred ins called the fire department. He TRUE, agreed Dr. E. 1. Kotok, assistant chief colored, red, which will last at least 10 years;

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Motorized infantry moves by jeep thr a river gorge in Kentucky . + + not far from Ft. Knox. Remember when they were training in the old-style British helmets? This picture was taken in 1942, but identities of Indianapolis men in it have been lost. Jeeps and armored cars could move through

Remember him? Only ay, as wars go, he was Ameri-

bor, Mrs. George Rice, 4825 Park Ave, who discovered the fire and

$9000 Fire Rips {appointment of a Fecelver, ; Employee Aid said when he rushed to the ga-

. i » of the Forestry Service, and that's why he's-about on a new kind of sawtooth which will take] Celver of Jets i In any event, however, Mr. Mil- {rage, the heat was so intense he quit the rain-making Hustzicss, The Weuthet Bp cent of Bie work out of sawing a plank. |ier's SPpolsnent i Bot gi}. ARpointmnt of 3. Wayne 1ae| ag : | couldn't reach the door, Bureau, anyhow, has a The and on a system o ng wax from Douglas {pected addi-| ; > n- : hu ——————————— |}. cause of ra fires is lightning, so why not Pir rt # 8 . “Expect Appointment tHonal legal quarreling. {ployee relations for Indianapolis! 2 Av Deep Freez Police ‘Sprin ’ eliminate that? ies And I only hope I haven't made this sound | Leroy K.-Néw, Mr. Glamack's Rillways was announced today. fos, P e g

“You mean you are trying to take the lightning too Joopy. The scientists are serious gentlemen --To Be ‘Made Today {attorney, said today he was In The appointm { Destroyed in Blaze ; : : out of the clouds?” inquired the incredulous Rep. who have decided that a tree, as the poet said, sharp distavor with the proposed|,, PROMI pileetve Apri) An early ing fire de Youthful Robber : ; n early morning fire "| Nine-year-old Harold.

t of Dick Miller, H. Carl Andersen (R. Minn). is a wonderful thing. Man can’t make ome: only APpointmen "+ appointment. | Brows. That's right, replied the doc. The Weather now is he beginning fo learn how: to use it. |Indianapolls Coliseum Corp. gen | pouch ne admitted being a, 0" 1our, for. |strayen wa Sttomsiiles, a deepi431 = Michigan St, dosfiit want { {freeze and gu e Interior to play “cops and robbers” any lof ‘& garage in the rear of 4833 More—not when he's the “rob-

leral manager, as receiver for the. "» i ~~ A Gi Indianapolis Sets _ protessonaliier, ha said he opposed hi | po The Quiz Master #7? Test Your Skill 7225s" and Mr. Miles hockey team sre animated a1 $000 By the owe ay Sot om. te Co : — > His tment expected under same commiss " BR { ates a : to be appoin mes bone the e ioner. ! Paul = Scharf US| regulation police handcuffs in a «Mr. Bcharfin sald & short cirin .& meat freezer in the

“It is nothing more than a legal 5 technicality,” Mr. New said. i 3 Maurice Podoloff, New Yorks at pioyee § City, is commissioner of both the Bowser, Inc., in

Basketball ica and the

Was Davy Crockett a politician?

When was the Department of Interior estab-

ER : : The title Dan is one of hemor and respect How fs it possible to determine the cost per sduivalent ts amex or it; as, Dan Cupid or Dag ng electrical appliances? TREE i” > SEY

- kilowatts founded? SEAT

Mr Tealk|austrial relations courses at In: as unknown. © eral; ong diana University. He is 40 years|, ; : ; : old 4 ST “home about. midnight. $48 A 8 is r “with |old, married and a Member of ‘nis car in the garage. and closelliof A 0 yesterday exception o of. Apr.]. the Kifanis Club. ~~ lit. He was awakened by a neigh- models

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